What would you do?

It really depends. You have to be able to judge the person, their relationship with you, and what would be most helpful to them in that instant.

I have certain friends with whom it is most important to offer encouragement. That is where they are right now, and that is what matters most. Then I have others for whom I am pretty blunt (and expect the same in return). I want them to trust what I say to them, so that when I do praise them it is sincere. Also our relationship is such that we don't need to sugar coat things, we know we respect each other's work, and ultimately respect and like it. It needn't be said every time.

Then there are the kids who write to me asking for advice, it is important to encourage the fact that they are writing, but also give a few kind suggestions.

So yeah . . . maybe you could offer a few more specifics.

If you are unsure, though, be kind.

I guess I'm a bit unclear on your context. If I "came across" it and no one asked me, then I'd probably just keep my mouth shut. But if someone said "check out my new cover," I'd probably find something nice to say about it.

Then at least I'd be able to say "Congratulations! I'm proud of you" or similar.

I'd keep my mouth shut if they don't ask. I'd offer a few suggestions if they did. Telling someone their work is crap isn't helpful. Writing is a journey and people are allowed to suck in their own time and space.

Nicole

"What an adorable baby, you must be so proud!"

Once it's DONE and THERE, there is nothing you should say. If you're asked at a stage where your constructive criticism can still help, great, speak up. Otherwise, the baby is lovely and won't he grow up to be handsome/won't she be a beauty.

ETA: And, just because you hate it means nothing. I point to the myriad threads we have here with people saying how much they hate so-and-so's bestseller. You may think it stinks, but it could be the next big hit, too.

Speaking as a reader, if my opinion hasn't been solicited, I would keep my mouth shut. If someone knows me well enough to ask my opinion, they know I pull no punches.

MM

I said it was a rough draft for you to enjoy, Ray.

If they haven't asked for an opinion - don't offer one. Especially as it is going out soon. Too late for changes and it will ruin the experience for the writer (already many doubts as you all know at this stage). Chances are you'll be asked down the track your thoughts of the piece. This is the tricky bit. Be honest and encouraging, just getting published is a big effort.

Additionally, it may be well received by others and not just your 'cup of tea'. A lot of writers are critical of The DVC - most readers love it.

JJ

If they haven't solicited my opinion? Option A, absolutely. None o' my bidness.

caw

a

stephenf said:

a

Click to expand...

Wins the award for the most succinct message ever on this board. Be you a minimalist, Stephen?

caw

If I wasn't asked my opinion directly with the originator standing expectantly in front of me, I would say nothing. If an answer was required and I really hated it, I would say it wasn't my cup of tea but good luck with it.

What if it's your loved ones (mother, father, sibling, spouse, children, etc.) and you really want them to succeed, but they may not be receptive of your criticism (plus they didn't ask for it)?

Click to expand...

Depends which brother

Ok, if they didn't ask for criticism I'd probably say ' Congratulations! Are you happy with it? It's not really my cup of tea, but so long as you're happy, I'm uber pleased for you!'

Unless it's Evil Brother. In which case I'd say it was crap. Because that's what he says about everything I've ever done, and it's time for payback!

My father's not really a loved one, so I would probably recommend PA.

Queen of Swords said:

My father's not really a loved one, so I would probably recommend PA.

Click to expand...

I have no loved ones so the situation will never arise.

Opinions should not be offered if they are not requested. Anyone who offers unsolicited opinion is presumably doing so because they think their opinion is too valuable to miss out on.

For that read: I am presumptuous enough to believe my opinion is important, even though it hasn't been requested.

With most loved ones, it's got to be keep quiet. Children, though.... If they're not adults yet, they'd get my fatherly advice. Then there's a few questionable years around adolescence when everything's going to be a nightmare anyway, and later it defaults back to keeping my mouth shut.

maestrowork said:

Now let's throw another wrench in this.

What if it's your loved ones (mother, father, sibling, spouse, children, etc.) and you really want them to succeed, but they may not be receptive of your criticism (plus they didn't ask for it)?

Fun, eh?

Click to expand...

I'm in a writers' group. One of the members writes dreary stories about his past (a long, long time past) life. We all say 'good'. He doesn't contemplate publication.

Another one would like to publish one day. I give advice. It's not hard because the writing is not very bad.

I'm not sure how I'd go with a seriously terrible piece of writing from someone who believes they can get it published. I'd probably suggest a number of beta writers so it wouldn't be just me giving the bad news.

maestrowork said:

Let's say someone hands it to you and say, "Hey, check it out, my latest and greatest and it's going out next week."

Click to expand...

maestrowork said:

Now let's throw another wrench in this.

What if it's your loved ones (mother, father, sibling, spouse, children, etc.) and you really want them to succeed, but they may not be receptive of your criticism (plus they didn't ask for it)?

Fun, eh?

Click to expand...

This is a tough one. This sounds like a person who is only looking for approval. Anything less than that is going to hurt their feelings. I'd probably say something noncommittal like "Wow! It looks like you put a lot of effort into this."

I had this happen with a casual friend once. She sent me the first seven chapter or so of a book she was working on, and it was the most dreadful thing I'd ever read. Just really, really awful. Exclamation points littered every page. The "hero" was a creepy stalker. The dialogue was wooden. The plot was an Idiot Plot, based on a misunderstanding no human being would actually make.

I had no idea what to say to her.

So I asked if she was planning on trying to get it published. When she said no, she was just having fun, I felt justified in lying and saying it was fun to read, that she might want to buy a book on writing which helped me a lot, because I noticed a few places where the dialogue or description could have been tighter.

Had she been aiming for publication I might have been straighter with her, but honestly, I really couldn't see what more I could have said without really hurting her feelings. The way it was, I felt okay because I'd recommended a book I thought might help, and given her the encouragement to keep trying.

I'm ashamed to admit I kept the file. Every once in a while I'd dig it out and re-read it, to remind myself my work wasn't that bad.

stevie teever said:

>>>>>>>>>>buy Kamagra Oral Jelly<<<<<<<<<======

Penegra, manufactured by the pharmaceutical firm Zydus Cadila is an effective remedy for treating male impotence or Erectile Dysfunction (ED). Penegra is available in dosages of 25mg, 50mg and 100mg.


goto (deleted SPAM)

Click to expand...

I guess we know what Stevie would do.

JJ