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View Full Version : Do Elephants Belong in Adult Restaurants?



Komnena
08-22-2008, 09:49 PM
Recently a friend brought her pet elephant to our weekly gatherings. The management wouldn't let us in with the elephant. Do we have a discrimination case or what?

CaroGirl
08-22-2008, 09:56 PM
A woman in my city just successfully won a discrimination case that allows her to bring her ferret on the city bus. Anything's possible.

Kitrianna
08-22-2008, 09:58 PM
In the city of Toronto, animals are allowed on the city buses. The original owner of the TTC insisted upon it remaining that way when he sold it to the city. As far as he was concerned, pets are part of the family and should be able to travel with their pet parents. Provided they are well behaved of course.

CaroGirl
08-22-2008, 10:00 PM
In the city of Toronto, animals are allowed on the city buses. The original owner of the TTC insisted upon it remaining that way when he sold it to the city. As far as he was concerned, pets are part of the family and should be able to travel with their pet parents. Provided they are well behaved of course.
Well, in the City of Ottawa, pets are not allowed on city buses. Just this one ferret, apparently.

Kitrianna
08-22-2008, 10:02 PM
I wish they would allow pets on the city buses here in Brantford. It would make life easier getting my boys to the vets.

Mela
08-22-2008, 10:05 PM
I tried bringing my pet elephant to the gym but it kept stepping on people's heads during calisthenics.
A restaurant seems a perfect venue for a pet elephant. I'd, however, worry about the silverware dilemma - please gently remind your elephant that there's a difference between the salad and the dinner fork. I hate it when elephants forget their table manners.
(Raises a finger, pulls glasses further down nose): And mind you, napkin on the lap!

Shadow_Ferret
08-22-2008, 10:05 PM
Well, in the City of Ottawa, pets are not allowed on city buses. Just this one ferret, apparently.
I'm special like that.

regdog
08-22-2008, 10:10 PM
As long as the elephant was eating out of anyone's elses plate I don't see a problem. I wish I had an elephant :(

Pagey's_Girl
08-22-2008, 10:14 PM
I would think an elephant would eat pretty much wherever he/she wished.

As much as I like elephants, I think I'd rather have a pet penguin.

Yeshanu
08-22-2008, 10:53 PM
I would think an elephant would eat pretty much wherever he/she wished.


That's the point behind white elephants. In the ancient world, they were sacred, so you couldn't kill them. If you didn't like someone, you gave them a white elephant. They couldn't get rid of it, so it would end up bankrupting them by literally eating them out of house and home.

And thanks for the info, Kit. I knew TTC allows animals and bicycles (though often only during off-peak hours) but I didn't know why.

Pagey's_Girl
08-22-2008, 10:57 PM
I've heard that in order to sculpt an elephant, you start with a hunk of marble and remove everything that doesn't look like an elephant.

Apparently the chunk of marble I had didn't have an elephant in it. :(

Shadow_Ferret
08-22-2008, 11:01 PM
Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. :e2brows:

Kitrianna
08-22-2008, 11:16 PM
Ummm. I don't want to know. Only Mrs. Ferret belongs in your pajamas.

Don
08-22-2008, 11:20 PM
Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. :e2brows:
That's what happens when you drink too much. You never know who's gonna end up in your pants pajamas. :D

Jersey Chick
08-22-2008, 11:42 PM
I hate it when elephants forget their table manners.
(Raises a finger, pulls glasses further down nose): And mind you, napkin on the lap!


But....


but....



but.... I thought elephants never forget?!?


And another childhood belief falls...

Pagey's_Girl
08-23-2008, 12:07 AM
They don't forget, they just choose not to do it.

Mela
08-23-2008, 12:24 AM
But....


but....



but.... I thought elephants never forget?!?


And another childhood belief falls...


They don't forget things like, the last tribe they stampeded or the last tree they munched on, but table manners? Oh, please. I've had it up to here with elephants not even wiping their mouths.

Shadow_Ferret
08-23-2008, 12:28 AM
They have elephant selective memory. They're a lot like guys in that respect. Remember all of Micky Mantle's stats but have trouble remembering their wife's birthday.

Susie
08-23-2008, 12:30 AM
Only if he carries his own trunk. :D

Jersey Chick
08-23-2008, 12:31 AM
Ah... okay... whew... I figured next someone would tell me there is no Tooth Fairy either ;)

Williebee
08-23-2008, 12:32 AM
I took my elephant to a trunk show.

He was a big hit.

Robert Toy
08-23-2008, 12:37 AM
Recently a friend brought her pet elephant to our weekly gatherings. The management wouldn't let us in with the elephant. Do we have a discrimination case or what?
You have a rock solid case if the elephant in question is a "working elephant".

Let's check this out...seeing eye elephant? That won't work, their eyesight sucks.

Hearing impaired...ooh, with the big ears that may work, can you have his name changed to Levi?

Shadow_Ferret
08-23-2008, 12:47 AM
Q: What cheers you up when your sick?

A: A Get Wellephant card.

Q: What weighs 5000 pounds and wears glass slippers?

A: Cinderelephant

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

A: So they can hide in the strawberry patch.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

A: By the elephant tracks in the butter.

Thank you. Thank you. Don't forget to tip your waiter.

Shadow_Ferret
08-23-2008, 07:09 AM
I can't be the only one who knows elephant jokes.

Jersey Chick
08-23-2008, 07:30 AM
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

A. Time to get a new fence

Ugh... I hate myself now...

C.bronco
08-23-2008, 07:33 AM
I think it's just fine for elephants to dine in adult restaurants, provided that they are not served liquor. Drunken elephants have caused a lot of mayhem these days.

xiaotien
08-23-2008, 07:41 AM
i think it really comes down to table
manners...and the length of its trunk.

Bayou Bill
08-23-2008, 08:15 AM
Recently a friend brought her pet elephant to our weekly gatherings. The management wouldn't let us in with the elephant. Do we have a discrimination case or what?
Of course, not! They're a safety hazard--going around leaving peanut shells all over the floor--people skid and fall, almost breaking their necks--and those big ears make it hard to find exit signs. One other thing, just between you and me, it's not that I'm prejudiced, I mean Dumbo was cute, but even when the restrooms are pachyderm accessible, they leave 'em all wet and messy.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails different colors?
A: To hide in bowls of M&M's.
Q: Did you ever see an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?
A: No.
Punchline: See how good it works.

Bayou Bill :cool:

Williebee
08-23-2008, 08:21 AM
How come elephants wear tennies?
Ninies are too small.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerus?
Elephino.

My first grade teacher would be sooo proud.

Mela
08-23-2008, 08:59 PM
Dorothy: What if you saw an elephant?
Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellephant!

maestrowork
08-23-2008, 09:04 PM
and the length of its trunk.

It's not the size of the trunk. It's how he eats the peanuts.

Someone's got to set this straight.

Priene
08-23-2008, 09:43 PM
When I were a lad elephants were seen and not heard in restaurants. If they so much as fiddled with their tusks they'd be firmly and lovingly beaten with sticks by their owners and then they'd thank them afterwards. Now I can't have a night out without it being ruined by their endless trumpeting and weirdly flapping ears and parabolic arcs of mammal urine streaming past my nose when I'm choosing from the cheese plate. Their damn keepers just laugh and encourage them. "Bray louder, Dumbo," they shout, "there's a romancing couple behind the stairway you haven't infuriated yet."

Norwich on a Saturday night is like ancient Rome just before Alaric turned up. Fighting and swearing and Proboscidea running rampant. How I wish everyone was as well-behaved as me.

Beach Bunny
08-23-2008, 10:01 PM
I think Colonel Hathi and his Dawn Patrol have sufficient discipline to dine in any fine restaurant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5ojV1r1XHM&NR=1

regdog
08-23-2008, 10:06 PM
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/ad74c9d6.jpg

regdog
08-23-2008, 10:13 PM
I would think an elephant would eat pretty much wherever he/she wished.

As much as I like elephants, I think I'd rather have a pet penguin.

Got penguins for you

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l117/regdog/15.jpg