View Full Version : Getting back on the horse...

08-21-2008, 06:45 AM
Ya'll have been so nice over here in OP, I thought I'd start this post...

A few weeks ago I rode a horse again for the first time since November. It was a friend's mare and one I was familiar with. I felt a bit odd- I always do on a 'strange' horse- but managed to canter and everything. It's really hard for me because I always said that I didn't enjoy riding horses half as much as I enjoyed riding my horse.

Well, I'll never see my horse again, not in this world, so I guess I outta move on. 'When you fall off a horse...' they say. Boy did I fall hard- I was crushed when my mare passed.

I called two of the local stables, places that used to board my horse when I lived in the area, and looked into riding. I'm not making this any easier on myself because I don't want to pay for lessons (and can't afford it!). I might be able to 'rent' a horse occasionally, but I'd really like to just ride around on a horse whose owner wants it to have more exercise (these do exist, just have to find 'em). But mostly I just want to be 'free' to muck around on a horse and not be restricted by a lesson plan or anything (just the owners requirements for what I am allowed to do on their horse).

I dunno what the point of this is. Guess I just feel torn between finding a horse to ride and knowing it won't be the same. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't find another (physical) hobby instead.

Ugh, I'm crying now so I'll stop. I miss my mare :(


08-21-2008, 07:05 AM
:Hug2: Christina. You might try riding at the stables, but you are the only one can decide if it's what you really want or not. Do you think you've given yourself enough time to try this next step?

Wishing you the best whatever you choose to do.

08-21-2008, 07:06 AM
Ah... :Hug2: I'm sorry you're missing your horse. That must be hard. I think you definitely need to keep on riding. It sounds like you enjoy it and it's a passion you shared with your own horse- riding might be a great way to keep her spirit living.
Good Luck- Keep your chin up and keep those wonderful memories close to your heart.

08-21-2008, 07:15 AM
When you spend time riding them and grooming them and just being around them...you get so close.

You know, that really rings true to me. What a nice sentence. I'm glad you and Prince had such great moments together.

Do you think you've given yourself enough time to try this next step?

I guess I'll find out. I just feel like I have to do something. I'm sick, and when I have good days I need an excuse to be active. I always keep busy, but I need something else. If riding isn't it, I'll look elsewhere.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I dunno why I dug this up today, but now I won't stop crying. Emotions just need to run wild sometimes I guess...

08-21-2008, 07:24 AM
riding might be a great way to keep her spirit living.

I hope so. :( I know it won't be the same, but maybe I should think about it this way. I can take what I shared with my mare and apply it toward a new relationship.

Matera the Mad
08-21-2008, 07:35 AM
Aww. (hugz) A very good friend of mine lost her old buddy earlier this year. Banson was 32, a veritable angel of a horse, but even Morgans don't live forever. :(

I get funny looking at all the kitty pics, myself...too quiet here with only the mice...

08-21-2008, 08:02 AM

Might not be the same, but it doesn't need to be. New friends, new experiences, and if you can help another horse get the care and attention it needs, then wonderful.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Hang in there, you've got friends here.


08-21-2008, 08:22 AM
Thanks gals :)

It's cruel that animals (most, anyways) don't have the lifespans that people do... We shouldn't have to outlive our 'children'

Beach Bunny
08-21-2008, 08:31 AM
Ah, that's tough. I'm sorry about your horse. :Hug2:

It may help your grieving process to work with another horse. I know that there are owners out there who need people to ride their horses and work with them. You'll never replace her and she'll always have her own special place in your heart, but I think when the time is right there may be room in your heart for others. :)

08-21-2008, 04:13 PM
*big hug*

I'm sitting here getting all misty-eyed over one of my little parrots. I know exactly how you feel.

**I still love you, Jade**

08-21-2008, 05:21 PM
Thank you both. I woke up this morning feeling a little 'silly' for crying last night, but you both made me feel better.


08-21-2008, 05:37 PM
Having a relationship with a horse is a wonderful thing but horses are individuals. You'll never have the same relationship but you might have a new relationship that's equally worthwhile with another horse. Don't go into it trying to replace your beautiful mare because it can't be done; she was one of a kind.

All the best to you. I've loved horses all my life and never owned one. You've had something very special that I can only imagine.

08-21-2008, 05:46 PM
Don't feel silly for crying. When you love something and it dies, it hurts. I've never had the pleasure of owning a horse, but always wanted to. I know how I feel when one of my dogs have passed. I was so sick when my last dog died I actually had to call in sick to work. I wish you luck in finding a horse that needs some extra love and riding. I'm sure whoever it is, will be quite lucky in having you around. :Hug2:

08-21-2008, 06:41 PM
Oh yes, Joyce; know the feeling well. My cat died after nearly 16years, and it was tough. She and I were buddies and went through huge life changes together.

I agree with those who feel you should get back on the horse - maybe take baby steps - a little bit at a time, before you're truly comfortable with making the full commitment again. It will get better but it will take time.

Soccer Mom
08-21-2008, 08:19 PM
Just adding my hugs to the thread. I understand perfectly. But getting another horse can be healing. Think of how much you have to offer another horse. Somewhere out there is a horse that really needs a wonderful owner and you could help each other heal. Have you thought about volunteering with an equine rescue? You would be in place to see the right horse when he/she came along.

08-21-2008, 09:28 PM
Somewhere out there is a horse that really needs a wonderful owner and you could help each other heal.

No more horsies. Farm is sold, trailer is for sale. Let someone else be responsible for a horse... plus I'll save thousands and thousands per year.

Thank you again everyone. I think I'll call the one stable again and pester them a bit to see if they do have a horse available...


08-21-2008, 09:47 PM
I absolutely get needing an 'equine injection' or 'horsey fix' as its called. After owning more than a dozen, and having my main mount pass away several years ago - I still - on the very rare occasion - dream of riding her.

Did I mention she had wings?

I keep her forelock in a teakwood casket above my writing desk.

So yeah, go find a stables to just muck about in. Offer to help groom or excercise a few - and yes, you will find someone eventually who will give you free rein - once they trust you.

You'll never have that same relationship - you'll have a different one. Each mount I've ever ridden has taught me something about horses, or myself. If I'm real lucky, I've learned both.

08-21-2008, 11:31 PM
I'm so sorry you lost your horse. Grief is grief, and it takes time to go through all the emotions involved. I hope time is good to you, and another horse, however you find it, allows you to heal even more.

08-22-2008, 01:09 AM
Well, place A said they'll call me if/when they get new boarders in. Place B said call person X, and so I did and left a message. Just waiting for a call back... person X runs a therapeutic riding gig, so I think I'll take Knight's advice and stay mum about my need to go riding again at first. Just go, help, and see what's going on. I've volunteered with them before (when another person ran the lessons) so it should be therapeutic for me to volunteer, even if I don't end up riding with them.

Meanwhile I'll put more feelers out in case the therapeutic horses are all worked to their max abilities...


08-22-2008, 04:37 AM
Ah, I am so sorry about your mare. I have a 33 year od gelding, a 17 year old mare (The horse in my sig)and another 12 year old gelding- the younger two are mother and son and I watched him be born.

I am trying to prepare myself for the inevitable, but you can never be ready to say goodbye to a friend. I feel your pain. If you lived in Pa I would say come on over and excercise my guys, I never have enough time in the day to ride all of them- I wouldn't charge you a penny and you would have over 150 acres to ride them on or a round pen if you prefer.

I hope you find something nearby that suites your needs and helps to lessen the grief you feel- the bond we have with our horses or any animal is a special one- :Hug2: