Writing a first draft

tamashii · Aug 20, 2008

Hi all,

A few days ago I began working on my first 'first draft'. I have attempted to begin it several times before (I've had the story idea in my head for about three years now) but I never got more than a few hundred words into it. After reading posts from this forum, I realised that I was probably trying too hard to make every word of my first attempt 'perfect', and when I wasn't able to, I became discouraged and gave up (self-doubt, insecurity and lack of confidence are huge problems in most aspects of my life).

I have started my first draft again, this time just writing the words as they come to me, not worrying about perfection or what someone else might think about it. I've done about four pages now and I have enjoyed writing those four pages infinately more than my other attempts, but I'm beginning to wonder and worry if maybe I'm not trying hard enough. There is a big part of me that can't accept and won't be satisfied with 'good enough for now', even though I've been telling myself that I can fix it during the re-writing stage. This story has grown to mean so much to me that I'm afraid of not doing it justice.

I guess what I'm wondering is: can you salvage a manuscript from a terrible first draft? Is it ever ok to allow yourself to write really, really badly? Or should you constantly be pushing yourself to write as well as you possibly can?

I would love to hear how each of you approach your first drafts and whatever ideas you might have on the subject. Thanks!

tamashii

Shara · Aug 20, 2008

Dear Tamashii

The thing to remember, always, is that first drafts are allowed to be rubbish. They are SUPPOSED to be rubbish.

Forget that idea that 'proper' writers are supposed to rattle off a perfect manuscript right off the bat. Only Hollywood portrays writers that do that.

There was a talk I went to a little while ago featuring Joanna Trollope, Sara Paretsky and Margaret Attwood. The talk was about writing technique. All three of them admitted to writing rubbish first drafts, even now, after years of experience and all their success as writers.

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Allow yourself that bad first draft. That saying, I do know what you mean when you say you stop because you're worried that what you've got isn't any good. This is why my mantra is now "Fix It In the Rewrite". If you let yourself get bogged down by all the problems, you will never finish the first draft.

My first drafts are always so bad I won't let anyone read them. The first draft is for getting a feel for the characters and sketching out the plot, which is always full of holes and inconsistencies. Then I go back and try and fix some of these things, for the second draft. The second draft I might give to other writers, and expect it to get ripped to shreds because I know there are still problems but I need some impartial views on how to fix them. They will probably also pick up problems that havent' occurred to me. The next few drafts are for working out those continuing problems.

I hope this helps.

Shara

Maryn · Aug 20, 2008

Yeah, what they said.

Giving myself permission to write utter crap greatly increased my output. In later drafts, my writing can be improved, but the blank page can't, you know?

Maryn, rooting for you

Grrarrgh · Aug 20, 2008

I live in fear that something will happen to me and someone will find all of my first drafts. I can just hear it. "Good Lord - no wonder she was never published. This is terrible!"

I tend to look at first drafts as though they were very long outlines. I may have lines in there such as "Katie picked up her glass. She took a drink of wine. She put the glass back on the table. She and Bill had sex." (Not exactly, but pretty close). It's horrible, horrible stuff, but at least when I go back to do my first re-write, I know what's going on and I can start to make it better.

Moonfish · Aug 20, 2008

tamashii said:
I guess what I'm wondering is: can you salvage a manuscript from a terrible first draft? Is it ever ok to allow yourself to write really, really badly? Or should you constantly be pushing yourself to write as well as you possibly can?

tamashii

Well, you kind of answered that yourself already. When you tried writing perfectly straight away, you just couldn't write! So, it doesn't work, right? Then there only IS the other alternative.

Harper K · Aug 20, 2008

I have NO expectations for a first draft, other than the idea that it has to be written before I can get to the second draft, and the third draft, and... yeah, I write a lot of drafts.

Like Grrarrgh said, it may be wise to see the first draft as more of an outline than anything else. I make a huge mess of my first drafts. For some scenes, I'll write five versions of the same scenario, just to experiment with different outcomes. For other scenes, I'll just write, [Here's where Joe and Mom have a huge argument.], and leave it at that until the next draft.

Just write what helps you with your story. Have you heard of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo.org)? It's a big writing event / organization that's about writing a fast first draft in a month with no inhibitions and no expectations. It might be the sort of thing that works for you.

smoothseas · Aug 20, 2008

Two mantras...

1.) You can't fix a blank page, and

2.) Don't get it right, get it written....

good luck!!!

Prozyan · Aug 20, 2008

The sole purpose of a first draft, in my opinion, is to get the story idea out of your head and onto paper. A sculptor can't sculpt something in their head. They need a block of clay, marble, whatever.

This is just like a writer can't create a story in their head. They need something tangible in order to shape it properly. A first draft is just the writer purchasing the block of clay, marble, whatever.

And, just like a block of sculpting material, it is going to be big, ugly, and plain. That's how it is supposed to be, don't worry about it. Just get it out of your head.

Toothpaste · Aug 20, 2008

And as the more sophisticated call it, it's the vomit on the page stage. Just get it out there. Worry about fixing it later.

Bufty · Aug 20, 2008

Even a professional photographer doesn't rely on getting it right first time! He takes several shots, then in the dark room or on his computer spends time polishing and touching up here and there.

Stop being so critical - who says your first draft is terrible? I don't regard my first drafts as 'terrible' - they just maybe aren't as good as they will be after being revised and polished, and that's perfectly normal.

Writing creatively and editing critically use two different sides of the brain and it's best not to mix these tasks - give your creativity full freedom until you reach 'the end' then turn to the revising and editing.

good luck

Mumut · Aug 20, 2008

tamashii;2670986There is a big part of me that can't accept and won't be satisfied with 'good enough for now' said:
I can't write a first draft straight out. I get a certain way into it and have to go back. I fix up what I have written and then I can continue. So writing my *first draft* takes a long time - but I still treat it as a first draft. I still have a lot of work to make sure all the verbs are the best for that purpose etc.

So my suggestion is this. You've found out you can't write a perfect story first go. That's no surprise. You are finding you don't like writing a first draft first go. If the second case is true, try what I do. I can't do it any other way and it might be the way for you.

And best wishes for your writing.

Tachyon · Aug 20, 2008

Maryn said:
In later drafts, my writing can be improved, but the blank page can't, you know?

An excellent way to phrase it.

As much as I enjoy thinking up new ways to procrastinate and distract myself, when it comes down to it, the truth is that you sort of need something to revise.

tamashii · Aug 20, 2008

Thank you all so much for your replies- it's amazing how much better I feel having read them. I have a strong tendancy to doubt myself and my abilities which, as I'm sure many of you know, can be utterly paralyzing. I can be feeling good about what I'm doing and enjoying myself, but the moment those doubts start to creep into my mind I freeze up. A few weeks ago, before I discovered this site, these questions about first drafts would have gnawed at me and made me so insecure that I would have stopped writing for weeks or even longer. But being able to discuss it with fellow writers (although, I'm not sure that I can truely call myself a writer yet) is so reassuring and encouraging. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond, everyone.

tamashii

MelodyO · Aug 20, 2008

As someone who HATES having to blurt it all out without all the clever stuff, here's what I do: I think about the upcoming scene while I'm not writing (the shower and in bed at night are my favourite spots). I try to come up with a good metaphor or synonym, know at least one really cool sentence a character will say, or what have you before I even sit down to write it. That way when I write the scene, I can be confident that not all of it is awful. Another piece of advice: have a notebook with you so you can write it down when you think of something pithy. Hope this helps.

Red-Green · Aug 20, 2008

Whenever I'm getting bogged down and need to power through that first draft, I remind myself of Joan Didion's exhortation on storytelling: Show us what they looked like, tell us what they said.

tehuti88 · Aug 20, 2008

On the one hand you should definitely push yourself to write your best. That's how one improves. But on the other hand, if it's a first draft you're talking about, you need to allow yourself some leeway to not get it perfect. And if trying to get the story just right cripples you so much that it interferes with actually finishing the story, then you really need to give yourself permission to write lousily the first time around. There's a balance you have to strike between writing well and just writing, period. If writing well causes such anxiety that you end up not writing at all, then there's a problem.

For me, I honestly CANNOT write a story unless I'm making it the best I can the first time around. I feel it's a waste of time if I'm not putting my best into it from the start. Hence I don't tend to do drafts, I just write the best story I can. But I'm in the minority, and for many people, trying to make the first draft perfect just hampers their progress. Since it seems that you fall into this group, don't worry if the first draft is lousy. That's normal. And yes, you can salvage something that's lousy. (I do it all the time. The stories that were the best I could write them several years ago? They DEFINITELY need salvaging by now!)

For some people the most important thing is doing their best, but for other people, it's just getting something done. Try to focus on just getting it done. You can improve it later. And you seem to be enjoying writing it a lot more now, which helps. Think of it this way--you can't improve what hasn't been written yet!

Either way, I do hope you continue to enjoy writing your story.

ishtar'sgate · Aug 20, 2008

tamashii said:
Hi all,

I have started my first draft again, this time just writing the words as they come to me, not worrying about perfection or what someone else might think about it. I'm beginning to wonder and worry if maybe I'm not trying hard enough. There is a big part of me that can't accept and won't be satisfied with 'good enough for now', even though I've been telling myself that I can fix it during the re-writing stage. This story has grown to mean so much to me that I'm afraid of not doing it justice.

I guess what I'm wondering is: can you salvage a manuscript from a terrible first draft? Is it ever ok to allow yourself to write really, really badly? Or should you constantly be pushing yourself to write as well as you possibly can?

I would love to hear how each of you approach your first drafts and whatever ideas you might have on the subject. Thanks!

tamashii

Your questions are not easily answered because everyone works in a different way. I'm glad to learn you're not worrying about what someone else may think of your work. Selfcensorship restricts creativity - a lot. There's time enough to be concerned with that when agents and editors gets their hands on it.

I'm not one of those who can allow myself to write badly. I do the best I can which by the end of the novel isn't my best, hence revisions. I never give myself permission to write badly because for me, and I stress FOR ME, it makes me feel lazy and that doesn't help me improve my craft.
I find openings to be the most difficult part of a first draft. I will write and discard a half a dozen 'first' chapters before I write the one I use. Once that's out of the way the rest of the draft usually goes fairly smoothly. I revise each previous day's writing as I go and then each chapter as it's completed. Once the entire draft is written I go through a hard copy of the whole manuscript, making notes on changes, scene substitutions or additions etc.
I am so-o-o jealous of authors who admit their first draft is their last draft. They get it right the first time.
Linnea

Edmontonian · Aug 20, 2008

I had the same problem when I started

Hello,

I had the same problem when I started - didn't know where to start and didn't like what I wrote afterwards. If you compare this to cooking, you're not going to get the baklava right the first time (and trust me it's difficult to do the baklava right, especially if you're doing everything from scratch) or if you're trying to do anything perfect the first time, the chances of getting it right are very slim.

So, write down a chapter, let is sleep for a month - while you're working on the other chapters - then kiss the sleeping beauty awake and marry it in a perfect second or third or fourth draft.

ED

Madison · Aug 20, 2008

I think it was Hemmingway who said first drafts are always shit (correct me if I'm wrong, but I know someone said it). And it's true.

I love second and third drafts because they're always about fixing. It's like this gigantic puzzle and I can delete or add as many pieces as I want.

But it takes practice to let yourself write crap. I still struggle with it - although most of the time I find that what I thought was crap isn't as crappy after all.

BIC HOK - that's my only advice

... butt-in-chair-hands-on-keyboard

Shara · Aug 20, 2008

Grrarrgh said:
I live in fear that something will happen to me and someone will find all of my first drafts. I can just hear it. "Good Lord - no wonder she was never published. This is terrible!"

I tend to look at first drafts as though they were very long outlines. I may have lines in there such as "Katie picked up her glass. She took a drink of wine. She put the glass back on the table. She and Bill had sex." (Not exactly, but pretty close). It's horrible, horrible stuff, but at least when I go back to do my first re-write, I know what's going on and I can start to make it better.

My first drafts are very similar to this. They are always way too short - long outlines is a very good description.

Phaeal · Aug 20, 2008

The story in your mind is infinite and shiny, because it's still in your mind. Once you put words on the page, make the story finite, you're bound to be shocked by its fall from grace. This is something all writers just have to work through. No story will ever be as perfect and sublime as you imagined it would be.

Get it down, as dirty as it has to be. Then work on it until you've brought it as close to perfect as you can in this imperfect world. That's all anyone can ask. That's all anyone can do. And, yes, it's good enough.

Terran · Aug 20, 2008

Whew! I thought I was the only one who has this problem.

Writing a first draft

tamashii

Shara

Fix it in the Rewrite

Maryn

Baaa!

Grrarrgh

Not so new, not so much a kid

Moonfish

Harper K

here's to the girl on the go

smoothseas

Life sucks... Then ya die...

Prozyan

Are you one, Herbert?

Toothpaste

THE RECKLESS RESCUE is out now!

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Mumut

Well begun is half done...

Tachyon

tamashii

MelodyO

Waiting for love on the web

Red-Green

KoalaKoalaKoala!

tehuti88

Mackinac Island Fanatic

ishtar'sgate

living in the past

Edmontonian

Madison

summertime...

Shara

Fix it in the Rewrite

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

Terran