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Maryn
08-15-2008, 07:04 PM
For no particular reason, I browsed my city's Craigslist for Men Seeking Women this morning. Maybe I'd find the perfect guy for The Kid (our daughter, 23 and freshly available).

What a wealth of odd characters!
A man who hoped to meet a very pretty black woman who was completely bald but wore a variety of wigs
An all-caps bad speller who said women who would not state their weights in their replies, or women who mentioned his spelling, would receive no reply
A medical resident who sought an educated, articulate woman for wine, ethnic cuisine, classical concerts, and domination, including foot worship (his, of hers)
A guy who didn't care what the woman looked like or how old she was, so long as she wore full dentures
My list could have gone on much longer, but these were today's highlights. I'd expected dumb clucks who sought someone to bop. There were plenty of those, and very few pictures, but the ones seeking the perfect fetish partner, in language which was careful not to violate the rules, cracked me up.

So check out your city's Craigslist--what funny requirements are listed for potential partners? Share the choicest here, remembering we have younger members.

Maryn, who feels so normal now

Mr Flibble
08-15-2008, 07:06 PM
Wow, how could you resist such elligible men?

Bmwhtly
08-15-2008, 07:09 PM
Maryn, I think you need to move to a different city.

Siddow
08-15-2008, 07:21 PM
omg, there's one in mine titled "I want to check you for ticks."

wow. Lots of scummy married guys looking for a little on the side, too. Bleh. And one was quite an 'orator' if ya know what I mean. One was a very romantic ad, lots of stuff about dinner and romance and lalala...ended with "Must be White or Vietnamese, ONLY!!!!" lol.

One guy wants a feedee...a woman who is interested in stuffing her craw until she blows up like a whale so he can give her all the large-lovin she needs.

Shadow_Ferret
08-15-2008, 07:22 PM
I can honestly say I've never ever looked at craigslist and really have no idea what its for, but now I'm glad I didn't waste my time.

stormie
08-15-2008, 07:24 PM
A medical resident who sought an educated, articulate woman for wine, ethnic cuisine, classical concerts, and domination, including foot worship (his, of hers)
Guess this guy is going into Podiatry.

TrainofThought
08-15-2008, 07:30 PM
wow. Lots of scummy married guys looking for a little on the side, too. This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:

cray
08-15-2008, 07:31 PM
craigslist is awesome!

that's where i found tot!

:hi:

Sarita
08-15-2008, 07:32 PM
This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:
If you like Pina Coladas, gettin caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga....

TrainofThought
08-15-2008, 07:35 PM
craigslist is awesome!

that's where i found tot!

:hi::roll: Yes, I was listed under unique, exotic animals.


If you like Pina Coladas, gettin caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga....If you like making love at midnight... yada yada, yada yada. :)

cray
08-15-2008, 07:38 PM
highly dangerous
handle with care
bites scratches
(and if you're lucky)
pulls hair

dpaterso
08-15-2008, 07:38 PM
A man who hoped to meet a very pretty black woman who was completely bald but wore a variety of wigs
An all-caps bad speller who said women who would not state their weights in their replies, or women who mentioned his spelling, would receive no reply
A medical resident who sought an educated, articulate woman for wine, ethnic cuisine, classical concerts, and domination, including foot worship (his, of hers)
A guy who didn't care what the woman looked like or how old she was, so long as she wore full dentures
I DO NOT APRESJHIATE HOW YOU SINGLES OUT MY ADS FOR CRITISISM.

-Derek

rhymegirl
08-15-2008, 07:40 PM
This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:

Isn't that the Pina colada song?

He places a personal ad and his wife answers it.


Oops didn't see Sara's post

Shadow_Ferret
08-15-2008, 07:49 PM
I think the real name is "Escape" but don't ask me why I'd know that.

Lyra Jean
08-15-2008, 07:50 PM
One man states he is looking for someone real and to not ask him to join a different site to prove that he is a real person.
----

Two bi-males who are looking for a chick. They know how to use their tongues.

----

If you like French men this guy has a relative coming from out of town and can't entertain him all the time. So I'm guessing he needs a person to help keep him entertained. Clubbing anyone.
----

One guy who recently moved back to Sarasota. All his old hangouts are gone and all his friends are married or getting old. Help him have some fun.

----
One more, found a guy who is looking for another X-Files fan. A different guy who wants to help a woman get a boob job. A third guy who is willing to support you if you move out to his house in the country. You'll get your bedroom and bathroom.

Maryn
08-15-2008, 07:53 PM
I can honestly say I've never ever looked at craigslist and really have no idea what its for, but now I'm glad I didn't waste my time.Shadow, only the Personals section is icky. The rest is really quite wonderful. Where I live, it's taken the place of the newspaper's classified section for a lot of people, especially those under 40. It's where you look first to rent an apartment, buy used furniture, or (and this is great) find free stuff for the taking away. So don't let this post dissuade you from checking it out (http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/).

Maryn, whose kid got a lovely mahogany dresser for $60 off Craigslist.

joyce
08-15-2008, 07:59 PM
Check out the men seeking men section, if you want a real laugh! A girlfriend of mine actually posted an ad on their site looking for a boyfriend. She said she received so many replies from creepy men. I think I'd rather be single.

Judg
08-15-2008, 08:10 PM
This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:
Something very similar actually happened, in Poland, I think. A guy goes to the local brothel and finds out he's paid money to spend time with his wife.

The marriage did not survive.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-15-2008, 08:33 PM
Oh. My. They're looking for things I've never heard of - but can guess.

And here I thought Oklahoma was so... so... wholesome.

Yeah. Right. :roll:

quickWit
08-15-2008, 08:49 PM
A girlfriend of mine actually posted an ad on their site looking for a boyfriend. She said she received so many replies from creepy men. I think I'd rather be single.

Creepy men? I don't believe it. :)

WriteKnight
08-15-2008, 08:49 PM
Craigslist is where I buy used video gear, find potential shooting gigs, hunt for apartments - and get a good laugh from the personals.

But I live in the San Francisco Area. NO PLACE ELSE can top our 'personals' section. Doesn't matter which area you're looking at, w4m, m4w, mm4mm, wwwww4wmwmw, whatever - We've got the kinkiest listings in the U.S.

cray
08-15-2008, 08:52 PM
eveready4w?

sassandgroove
08-15-2008, 09:04 PM
"I LEAVE THE SEAT DOWN....LOL! - 30 Yes, I leave the seat down...after several years of marriage..you tend to learn that more argument are over a SEAT than $$$$, sex, etc..LOL! So I LEAVE it down! With that said.. "

-----------
"Young Democrat seeks trumpet-playing Obama girl"

-------

"just good ole boy - (he had pics to prove it.)
well lets see if you just want a night of playing and fun im your man"


----

Still some of them were nice, too.

TrainofThought
08-15-2008, 09:15 PM
I can't go to the personals at work, but I did find something for all the single gentleman out there, or those married to a woman with poor taste. But then, what does that say about you? :D

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/fuo/798027647.html

Beach Bunny
08-15-2008, 09:19 PM
This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:


If you like Pina Coladas, gettin caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga....


If you like making love at midnight... yada yada, yada yada. :)


Isn't that the Pina colada song?

He places a personal ad and his wife answers it.



I think the real name is "Escape" but don't ask me why I'd know that.

Eascape (also known as The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes brought to you by youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXrhWAYog7g&feature=related :D

Pagey's_Girl
08-15-2008, 10:04 PM
A medical resident who sought an educated, articulate woman for wine, ethnic cuisine, classical concerts, and domination, including foot worship (his, of hers)


I think I'd rather have a guy who'd worship AT my feet, rather than worshipping my feet.

Yes, it's Friday it's been a loooooooooooooooooooong day already and I'm a bit slap-happy, I think.

rhymegirl
08-15-2008, 10:50 PM
Whoa! I just read some of the ads on my city's Craigslist.

Oh My God! I can't even tell you what they said.

But one was written very intelligently and it was hot!

Pagey's_Girl
08-15-2008, 11:31 PM
I'm not going near it - I'e had enough surrealism for one day here at work.

*Looks at clock*

Crap. 87 more minutes to go...

Fraulein
08-16-2008, 01:02 AM
The personal ads are hilarious.

Interested in being spoiled this weekend? Yes.
Generous, in shape, good looking guy. Yes.
Very much for real. Yes.
You won't be disappointed. Yes.
Seeking attractive women for fun. Yes.

Your pic gets mine. No.


These guys try so hard. :tongue

KTC
08-16-2008, 01:05 AM
Man. Seeks human.

Silver King
08-16-2008, 02:10 AM
I checked out a few listings from my area. I looked only at the Women Seeking Men section in case, you know, I might find my soul mate. Even though I found my true love many years ago, one must always look to the future in case there's something better out there. ;)

I found most women aren't shy about describing their physical attributes: gorgeous, lovely, beautiful, stunning, sexy, well-built, nice ass and so on. Judging from some of the photos I saw, either someone has been lying to them about their looks or they need to have their eyes or egos checked.

The first ad I saw had a line that would make many males from AW surefire candidates for romance with this gal: I'm tired of dumb, unoriginal guys. If you've read a book in the past thirty days, feel free to message me!

Another girl claims she's twenty, yet the math doesn't add up: 20 yrs old. I really like '80s and '90s music, it takes me back to my childhood.

A couple of other comments I found amusing:

"First of all, I am not a midget, but I am less than five foot."

"No beards, no smokers and no typical Florida fisherman look. You must have a job, a car and a home, so bums need not apply."

"I escape current definitions because I'm a work in progress."

And the strangest one was written all in caps with an incestuous tone I couldn't escape noticing:

"BIG GIRL ISO BEST CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND LIKE A BROTHER TO SHARE CLOSE PERSONAL INFO THAT YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY SHARE WITH JUST SAY A NEIGHBOR AND OR FRIEND AT WORK."

After a dose of those listings, I'm prepared to renew my wedding vows and stay true to the one I love. :)

Susie
08-16-2008, 02:18 AM
:roll: With you at the helm, Maryn, I'm sure your daughter won't have any trouble finding her special someone. Just don't use craigslist, k. :)

rhymegirl
08-16-2008, 02:21 AM
It turns out I was looking in the wrong section before or the too casual ads. I mean, they were really raunchy.

Here's one that's rather funny:

"Lookin for a suga momma any size shape age. i will please you or do whatever if you can help me financially. im an ex marine if that helps. e-mail me."

Disa
08-16-2008, 02:26 AM
If you like Pina Coladas, gettin caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga....

Doh! I was about to write that, too :)

SPMiller
08-16-2008, 02:36 AM
Craigslist? Ohh, you should've known better ;)

KTC
08-16-2008, 02:38 AM
"I escape current definitions because I'm a work in progress."

Oh my gawd! How art nouveau! I bet this person looks like decoupage. Where the hell is Van Gogh when you need him?!



PS: If you read between the lines, I believe it says: "I'm ugly...but you're nothing special yourself."

elisadasilva
08-16-2008, 02:54 AM
It only took about 4 seconds to find this one:
Unmarried white gentleman in Oregon--Yes, Oregon--seeks friendship and possible involvement with beautiful young sexy chocolate girl.
Will provide transportation to Oregon.
Why am I looking there? There are no black girls in Oregon.
Not interested in dating site come-ons or other spam.
Serious inquiries only please.
Send a photo with your response and we can talk.
Hope to hear from you

Yeshanu
08-16-2008, 03:36 AM
omg, there's one in mine titled "I want to check you for ticks."

This line is from a song, too. (http://www.songlyrics.com/song-lyrics/Brad_Paisley/Miscellaneous/Ticks/256863.html)

Unique
08-16-2008, 01:16 PM
Craigslist: Is Someone Looking for You?


gawd, I hope not. I'm not for sale.



:roll: Yes, I was listed under unique, exotic animals.
If you like making love at midnight... yada yada, yada yada. :)

Hey, now! Don't get me involved in this. LOL.

Unique - who needs no more drama in her life. kthxbai.

astonwest
08-16-2008, 03:52 PM
I didn't find many good ones in ours...but I did click the "best of Craigslist" link, and found this gem (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/749878367.html). Hilarious!

Maryn
08-16-2008, 04:53 PM
Oh, my, that's outstanding! Click the link, people.

Maryn, tres amused

EriRae
08-16-2008, 04:59 PM
This would make a great short story. Woman meets up with married guy only to find out it's her husband. :roll: Thanks for the idea. :Thumbs:

Ever heard "Escape" (the Pina Colada song)? by...(looks up on Google) Rupert Holmes? Great backdrop while you're writing your story!

ETA: someone beat me to it! Thanks for the YouTube, Beach Bunny!

EriRae
08-16-2008, 05:05 PM
a woman with poor taste. But then, what does that say about you? :D

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/fuo/798027647.html

I would so buy that. I love the Girls Next Door. :D

EriRae
08-16-2008, 05:09 PM
I didn't find many good ones in ours...but I did click the "best of Craigslist" link, and found this gem (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/749878367.html). Hilarious!

I live for the "best of Craigslist." They keep me awake and sometimes have me rolling on the floor laughing.


ETA: That poor, poor woman. I can only imagine the inspiration for that. . .

Yeshanu
08-16-2008, 08:56 PM
ETA: That poor, poor woman. I can only imagine the inspiration for that. . .

My brother???

Though I'll have to admit, even he's not quite *that* immature!