YA Fantasy 1st Chapter Revision Help

mara_jade3 · Aug 14, 2008

I need some help with the first chapter of my novel. It's a YA fantasy. An agent likes what I have, except for the first chapter. I have gotten this comment a lot about the first chapter. I was wondering if there is someone out there who can help me figure out what to do with it. She wants total change in this chapter. I will share the email with whoever helps.

I prefer someone who will really push me, have honesty, but not like be outright mean. Constructive criticism, please.

I do take advice well.

If anyone needs to read the whole novel to grasp what is happening, it is 87k. Hope you can read fast because the agent will give me another shot. Thanks and I hope to hear from someone.

~Jen

alleycat · Aug 14, 2008

I'm assuming the chapter is 2,000 to 4,000 words?

I'd be glad to take a shot at it since it's YA, although I'm not a big reader of fantasy myself. I would probably be looking more at the structure and "technical" details of the writing rather than the storyline itself. I'm usually pretty good with "what if?" ideas.

There's no reason you can't have more than one person read it and offer comments.

I'll send you my e-mail address by PM and if you want me to read it, send it on.

mara_jade3 · Aug 14, 2008

Thanks, Alleycat! btw, your avatar is perfect for my book. It's about pirates. lol How fitting you replied.

When you send your email, I will paste the agents problems with the chapter. I basically need to make her connect with the MC.

jamesn65 · Aug 14, 2008

If you still want help I'll take a look at it.

Oh, and BTW how did you get the agent to read the rest of the book if they didn't like the first chapter?? Lucky you!!

YA Fantasy 1st Chapter Revision Help

mara_jade3

Broken Pixie

alleycat

Still around

mara_jade3

Broken Pixie

jamesn65