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- Mar 24, 2005
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This is the vent thread, right? I am stewing about a book I purchased this week. It's - "This Old Dump - renovating without decking your mate."
This book caught my eye because I am always renovating and remodeling. Here's what the back cover says: "If you're an eager and beleagured remodeler who's scared of tacking the challenges of turning a fixer-upper into a cozy home....don't lose heart!
Laura Jensen knows the trials and triumphs of do-it-yourself redecorating." Blah blah blah.
Now - this is the perfect example of how someone who has had books in the past gets more work, unearned.
I was amazed to read that the author hadn't really done any renovations herself. Nor had she really known anyone who had. I couldn't believe reading this paragraph, on page 36 of the book:
"In fact, when I first received the contract to write this book, I thought we could use the advance money to pay for my long-awaited kitchen makeover - which I could then detail at length here for you, my reader. Instead, the check went to a broken air conditioner, some unexpected car repairs, and sundry bills.
Fortunately, my publisher decided to hold off on the publication date for another year because they wanted me to write another book first. Fine by me. By then we would have enough money saved to do the kitchen remodel, which I could joyously recount here.
Not quite."
And she goes on to talk about taking a vacation to England.
"Thankfully, my publisher rode to the rescue a second time. Once again, they delayed publication of This Old Dump for me to write another book instead. Whew. Another several months reprieve. Certainly for my new deadline we'd have ample money set aside to at long last tackle our kitchen renovation so I could write aobut it for you here."
She goes on a few boring paragraphs ... then says
"Consequently, we still don't have our remodeled kitchen. I finally realized that the only way I'm ever going to get my kitchen renovated is for this book to sell beaucoup copies so I can get a nice fat royalty check. And, you can help me out if you would please. Spread the word and tell all your friends to buy a copy of this book."
HUH? So - she is in hot demand to write these hilarious books. Here is an example of how hilarious her stories are:
"Deborah, my former co-worker who moved to Florida, said her husband, Gene, told her he'd be glad to paint the bathroom for her. After all, he loves to paint. And so he began.
"Honey, would you please get me a drop cloth?"
"hey, babe, this would go faster if you could mask the trim off for me. Won't take you ten minutes."
"Oh, I've got all the trim cut in. Could you just wash this brush out for me?"
"I'm finished. How does it look? I need to put the ladder away - how about rinsing the roller out?"
"When friends come over, " Deborah said, "he's right there with, "How do you like the bathroom? I painted it myself!"
That's hilarious? Informational? So unusual that we need a book about it?
This makes my blood boil.
This book caught my eye because I am always renovating and remodeling. Here's what the back cover says: "If you're an eager and beleagured remodeler who's scared of tacking the challenges of turning a fixer-upper into a cozy home....don't lose heart!
Laura Jensen knows the trials and triumphs of do-it-yourself redecorating." Blah blah blah.
Now - this is the perfect example of how someone who has had books in the past gets more work, unearned.
I was amazed to read that the author hadn't really done any renovations herself. Nor had she really known anyone who had. I couldn't believe reading this paragraph, on page 36 of the book:
"In fact, when I first received the contract to write this book, I thought we could use the advance money to pay for my long-awaited kitchen makeover - which I could then detail at length here for you, my reader. Instead, the check went to a broken air conditioner, some unexpected car repairs, and sundry bills.
Fortunately, my publisher decided to hold off on the publication date for another year because they wanted me to write another book first. Fine by me. By then we would have enough money saved to do the kitchen remodel, which I could joyously recount here.
Not quite."
And she goes on to talk about taking a vacation to England.
"Thankfully, my publisher rode to the rescue a second time. Once again, they delayed publication of This Old Dump for me to write another book instead. Whew. Another several months reprieve. Certainly for my new deadline we'd have ample money set aside to at long last tackle our kitchen renovation so I could write aobut it for you here."
She goes on a few boring paragraphs ... then says
"Consequently, we still don't have our remodeled kitchen. I finally realized that the only way I'm ever going to get my kitchen renovated is for this book to sell beaucoup copies so I can get a nice fat royalty check. And, you can help me out if you would please. Spread the word and tell all your friends to buy a copy of this book."
HUH? So - she is in hot demand to write these hilarious books. Here is an example of how hilarious her stories are:
"Deborah, my former co-worker who moved to Florida, said her husband, Gene, told her he'd be glad to paint the bathroom for her. After all, he loves to paint. And so he began.
"Honey, would you please get me a drop cloth?"
"hey, babe, this would go faster if you could mask the trim off for me. Won't take you ten minutes."
"Oh, I've got all the trim cut in. Could you just wash this brush out for me?"
"I'm finished. How does it look? I need to put the ladder away - how about rinsing the roller out?"
"When friends come over, " Deborah said, "he's right there with, "How do you like the bathroom? I painted it myself!"
That's hilarious? Informational? So unusual that we need a book about it?
This makes my blood boil.