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View Full Version : For once, I took a stand...



BenPanced
08-13-2008, 12:35 AM
I'm off from work this week, and I've been trying to get some research done for my writing. I need to find some more information on potential markets for a short story I've completed, and somebody recommended a particular book that would help me with writing a query on a novel I've been meaning to get out there for almost a year now (then came the flood last year, but that's another story). I've been having difficulties getting to area libraries, which is making this task stretch longer than necessary.

I had problems with the St. Paul library yesterday. Couldn't stick around too long because I was suffering a minor case of TMI WARNING! diarrhea. Was there long enough to find out they didn't care a particular magazine I'm trying to read so I can see if it's a good fit for the short story.

Today? Today was a different story entirely. I was on my way to the Minneapolis library when I happened to see a guy smacking a woman around. He appeared to have let up by the time I'd crossed the street but he just started in on her again. I will admit, I was incredibly selfish when I was waiting for the light to change, sort of like "Please stop before I get across the street" or "Ghod, why does this shit always have to happen to ME?!" but when I saw him pulling on her hair and heard her screaming at him to let her go, I did what I hope anybody else would have done.

I went up to the guy and clocked him with my umbrella.

I honestly don't know what the story was, but my mother always told me YOU NEVER HIT GIRLS. Unfortunately, I also found out when you hit a girl, she might be able to defend herself. In this case, she was clearly incapacitated and couldn't do anything. As we waited for the police, I kept myself and my damaged umbrella between him and the woman (the umbrella no longer had a handle on it, but I could have used it as a pointy stick, if necessary). He kept yelling that I didn't have to do that to him because she had his cell phone and wouldn't give it back. Besides, the police at the substation a couple blocks away wouldn't do anything about it and I didn't have to hit him like that, etc. etc., "FAGGOT!" (I almost started laughing in the little shit's face for saying that!), why did I do that to him?, "ain't none of your business what's going on", etc.

Of course, he did what I'd expected as the sirens approached: the chicken shit ran.

A couple of the other witnesses and the police on the scene were actually rather amused that I'd destroyed an umbrella -- in a way, it is kinda funny, in a "OMFG! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! HERE COMES THE ADRENALINE CRASH! NEED TO LAUGH NOW TO RELIEVE THE TENSION!" kinda way -- but all of the officers I spoke with thanked me for actually getting involved when the situation needed it.

I have no clue if they caught the fucker who did this. I don't even care whose phone she had. I feel awful that I had these selfish thoughts but I can go to bed tonight with a clear conscience because I found the strength to put those thoughts and feelings aside, and excuse me if I seem a little egocentric right now but I am damn proud of myself that I helped somebody today.

http://pics.livejournal.com/benpanced/pic/00071d0e

wyntermoon
08-13-2008, 12:41 AM
You are AWESOME! And that idiot owes you a new umbrella.

Good job, Sir Panced!

Mr Flibble
08-13-2008, 12:41 AM
Go you! That was a good thing what you done thar boy. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Tink
08-13-2008, 12:54 AM
Congrats!! The world would be a better place if there were more people like you who would take a wack at a wacko....

quickWit
08-13-2008, 12:58 AM
Good for you Ben! Yours are the actions of a real man and true gentleman!

*fart*

:D

Shadow_Ferret
08-13-2008, 12:59 AM
You need to carry a sturdier umbrella.

Or get a sword cane. They look cool and they're fun when you write a big "Z" in his chest.

Way to be a hero. :Thumbs:

EriRae
08-13-2008, 01:00 AM
:e2cheer: YAY BEN :e2cheer:

You are my hero, Ben. You were in the right place at the right time, and you made a difference in that woman's life. If she was really in the wrong and had his phone, you'd think he would stick around and explain to the cops.

JoNightshade
08-13-2008, 01:01 AM
Good for you!!!

BTW does that cat have PINK TOENAILS?

Rolling Thunder
08-13-2008, 01:02 AM
You're on my hero list now, Phillip. :)

Mr Flibble
08-13-2008, 01:04 AM
This is how I'm gonna picture Ben from now on:

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n83/spinynorman_2006/funny-dog-pictures-hulk-dog.jpg

BenPanced
08-13-2008, 01:08 AM
Good for you!!!

BTW does that cat have PINK TOENAILS?
That's actually not my cat. It's a picture I pulled from icanhascheezburger.com. The cat's nails are pink because its owner put caps on them. Yeah. The owner had the patience to put plastic caps on the cat's claws. I wonder if they had the insurance, as well...

Mr. Fix
08-13-2008, 01:11 AM
You never even considered the possible outcome for yourself did you?

He couldv'e been a psycho, packing heat, or just juiced up on drugs.

But without concern for your own safety - you rescued the damsel in distress...

Wow...

Gutsy - really!

:Trophy:You deserve one pal! Good job!

PS: I bet the rain will feel fine after this.

JennaGlatzer
08-13-2008, 01:11 AM
I have always loved you, Ben. Now I love you more.

Will you please follow me around with your umbrella? I'll tell you who to smack with it. I promise not to use it all willy-nilly... much.

Jersey Chick
08-13-2008, 01:13 AM
Way to Go, Ben! Here's a HUGE {{{HUG}} for doing the right thing and yes - you can sleep soundly tonight. I don't know if it was brave or crazy, but it's way cool that you did something.

When you come to Jersey, the Italian hot dog and beer are on me! ;)

dolores haze
08-13-2008, 01:13 AM
You are wonderful. Was it one of those big golf umbrellas?

Robert Toy
08-13-2008, 01:19 AM
Well done Ben. Maybe I should start carrying an umbrella.

Nah, I'll stick with my Glock 30...:D

nerds
08-13-2008, 01:23 AM
Ben.

:e2kissy:

That was heroism, make no mistake. Well done.

donroc
08-13-2008, 01:25 AM
You did the right thing. Great.

maestrowork
08-13-2008, 01:26 AM
It would have been greater if you had one of these:

http://blog.sanriotown.com/hellokitty_news:hellokitty.com/files/2008/03/windowslivewriterhellokittyumbrella-d174hello-kitty-umbrella2-thumb.jpg



Bravo, Ben! It's awesome.

Siddow
08-13-2008, 01:29 AM
I look forward to seeing the smackdown on 20/20's "What Would You Do?"

:D

nerds
08-13-2008, 01:32 AM
For Ben



http://www.gizmodude.com/2007/09/08/entry_images/0907/08/Weather%20Forecasting%20Umbrella%202.JPG



and a shoe phone for emergencies

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/54/039_4084~Get-Smart-Posters.jpg

JennaGlatzer
08-13-2008, 01:35 AM
P.S. I'm just glad your attack of TMI came the day before, 'cause that would have been... um... bad.

Can I have an autographed photo of the umbrella handle?

III
08-13-2008, 01:40 AM
Good for you, Ben! I was hoping the story would involve you pooping rainbows on him, but it's still a good story.

BenPanced
08-13-2008, 02:01 AM
You never even considered the possible outcome for yourself did you?

He couldv'e been a psycho, packing heat, or just juiced up on drugs.

But without concern for your own safety - you rescued the damsel in distress...

Wow...

Gutsy - really!

:Trophy:You deserve one pal! Good job!

PS: I bet the rain will feel fine after this.
One of the other witnesses said the guy kept reaching into his pants, like he was going to pull something out, but eventually stopped. I didn't see him doing any of this because I kept my focus on the tip of the umbrella in relation to where the guy was standing.

I have always loved you, Ben. Now I love you more.

Will you please follow me around with your umbrella? I'll tell you who to smack with it. I promise not to use it all willy-nilly... much.
"Jenna? My arm's getting really tired..."
"Don't worry. We're almost finished. I just need to get in line for The Dark Knight, so if you could, please..."
*groan* "Well, you did say 'please'..."

You are wonderful. Was it one of those big golf umbrellas?
Nope. It was a smaller, standard black umbrella with a hook handle. Still. Got the guy's attention!

Seaclusion
08-13-2008, 02:06 AM
Wow, Ben. That's something. Good for you.

Get a bigger umbrella.

Richard

akiwiguy
08-13-2008, 02:12 AM
Good on ya mate. About the only thing you could have done better is check out whether it is possible to open an umbrella while it is jammed up someone's rectum.

What you did was gutsy... so often situations like that get really nasty, and it always flabbergasts me when you hear of victims suddenly becoming indignant and turning on their rescuer.

I can smile for the rest of the day now. Good on ya.

soleary
08-13-2008, 02:15 AM
Well done, Ben, well done. You're my AW hero. We have to step up and step in. Congratulations, friend. And thank you for your candor.

sheadakota
08-13-2008, 02:36 AM
You are awsome! I am proud to cyber know you!

Bufty
08-13-2008, 02:51 AM
Would I do the same as you in similar circumstances? I sure hope so...but you actually did it, Ben. I think you deserve a medal, friend.

Marian Perera
08-13-2008, 02:52 AM
One of the other witnesses said the guy kept reaching into his pants, like he was going to pull something out, but eventually stopped.

It was probably so small that it kept slipping between his fingers.


Nope. It was a smaller, standard black umbrella with a hook handle. Still. Got the guy's attention!

You're the Penguin! He could do wonders with umbrellas too, IIRC.

Good for you. :)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-13-2008, 03:16 AM
Ben! When Jenna's done with you, could you come to OKC and stay with me at work? :D

Seriously... you could've been hurt! One of the most dangerous situations to get in is a domestic altercation. But... I'm glad you did.

Just... be careful! :)

JLCwrites
08-13-2008, 03:38 AM
Yay Ben! It was wonderful that you helped, and lucky he wasn't armed.
Nicely done!

Calla Lily
08-13-2008, 03:43 AM
Ben, you so totally rock.

Thank you on behalf of women everywhere.

Soccer Mom
08-13-2008, 03:48 AM
Ben! :slobbery girl hugs:

How we love you!

Our tough guy!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/funny-pictures-cat-chases-bear-up-a-tree.jpg

WendyNYC
08-13-2008, 03:48 AM
Wow, Ben! You are my hero, too.

awatkins
08-13-2008, 03:51 AM
Thank you, thank you, thank you. That was awesome!

astonwest
08-13-2008, 03:51 AM
It's good that you helped, but it's a good way to get yourself shot in certain neighborhoods...

Cranky
08-13-2008, 03:51 AM
Good for you, Ben. That took a lot of guts. :Hug2:

Marian Perera
08-13-2008, 03:54 AM
It's good that you helped, but it's a good way to get yourself shot in certain neighborhoods...

/gives Ben a Kevlar umbrella.

tjwriter
08-13-2008, 03:57 AM
Good for you, Ben.

It's nice to see people become active instead of just passively watching the things go on around them.

Donkey
08-13-2008, 04:03 AM
Tip of the hat to brave Ben. http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u92/donkeyrokman/hat_2.gif

Pagey's_Girl
08-13-2008, 04:10 AM
Ben, you rock. Totally. You are AWESOME!

BenPanced
08-13-2008, 07:51 AM
Thanks for all your kind words, everybody.

Yes, I am fine. Still rattled, but it never occurred to me at the time if the guy was armed or not. My only thought was to get him away from the woman he was assaulting.

And, yes, I made it to the library afterwards.

MoonWriter
08-13-2008, 09:10 AM
And the gold medal winner in umbrella fencing, representing the United States of America, Ben Panced.

*Oh say can you see ...*

Congratulations on a job well done.

chevbrock
08-13-2008, 09:39 AM
Another echo of resounding congratulations!

I can only but imagine how your victim is going to change the details so he still looks cool when he's explaining to his mates why they can't get him on his cell phone.

BenPanced
08-13-2008, 09:54 AM
Wouldn't be the first time I beat the crap out of somebody half my size and they told their buddies the opposite of what really happened.

RLB
08-13-2008, 10:04 AM
That's awesome! Good for you!

I'd have been totally screwed because I always forget my umbrella, even when it's already raining.

Unique
08-13-2008, 02:05 PM
Seriously... you could've been hurt! One of the most dangerous situations to get in is a domestic altercation. But... I'm glad you did.

Just... be careful! :)

True - but in that case ... if the woman turned on Ben - prong the bitch and smack her too.
Tell 'em to get a room and don't bring that sh** on the street!

Gaw - that guy. What a looser. Bullies always pick on someone smaller and weaker.
:e2fight:
Go, Ben! En guarde~

Jo
08-13-2008, 02:32 PM
Yay, Ben! :snoopy: It's great to see someone take notice of abuse AND do something about it. Kudos to you.

JimmyB27
08-13-2008, 02:47 PM
I keep wanting this to happen to me. What's the point of all those martial arts lessons if I don't get to test myself for real? ;)

You have been tested, my friend, and have been found worthy. As Kevin said, my thanks to you on behalf of civilised society everywhere.

Bmwhtly
08-13-2008, 03:08 PM
You, sir, are awesome-on-toast!

You did exactly the right thing because you thought only of others.
I think we have a superhero in the making here, didn't Batman start out the same way?

Broadswordbabe
08-13-2008, 03:30 PM
Way to go, Ben. Wish I had your guts. I now plan to use an umbrella as a symbol of bravery! And if you're ever in London, big drinks on me.

NeuroFizz
08-13-2008, 05:07 PM
I don't know how tall you are, Ben, but on that day, you stood beyond NBA dimensions. You inspire me to be a better man.

Stew21
08-13-2008, 05:51 PM
Yay Ben!!!


Great story!

gypsyscarlett
08-13-2008, 08:41 PM
That was truly great of you!!!! :Thumbs:

Maybe you should change your name to John Steed. Don't mess with a gentleman with an umbrella!

Mela
08-13-2008, 09:17 PM
Ben, what sort of super hero costume do you wear? Does it have a big U on the chest (for umbrella)?
Seriously, that took a lot of guts. Was the girl very hurt? And I'm also wondering: Did you get a sense of how many onlookers there were before you finally stepped in and did something?
You are a true hero and a gentleman.

regdog
08-13-2008, 09:55 PM
:Thumbs::partyguy: :Hail::Hail::e2cheer::e2cheer::e2woo:
:TheWave::e2woo:
:TheWave::e2woo:
:TheWave::e2woo:




Awesome and way to go. You should be proud

And for the cowardly little shit who was tough enough to smack a woman around but run from the cops
:e2moon::e2moon::e2moon:

MsK
08-13-2008, 11:06 PM
Wow- that was a brave thing to do. Going umbrella shopping today? :)

Silver King
08-14-2008, 01:36 AM
I always knew Ben had balls of steel, but I thought he preferred to keep them hidden. :D

Southern_girl29
08-14-2008, 04:13 AM
Way to go, Ben. And thanks from women everywhere.

Oberon
08-14-2008, 04:48 AM
Thanks, Ben, you renew our faith in the human race. I think the rest of us males here are wondering, would I have had the guts? Heroes are not the fearless ones, they are the ones who act in spite of their fear. Congratulations! Was the woman thankful?

SherryTex
08-14-2008, 06:06 AM
Nice job Ben!

New Sig line...don't mess with me or my umbrella. You wouldn't like it if I get angry

BenPanced
08-14-2008, 06:35 AM
Ben, what sort of super hero costume do you wear? Does it have a big U on the chest (for umbrella)?
Seriously, that took a lot of guts. Was the girl very hurt? And I'm also wondering: Did you get a sense of how many onlookers there were before you finally stepped in and did something?
You are a true hero and a gentleman.
I'm not sure how injured she was, if at all. I do remember seeing her at one point, lying on the ground and gagging. Paramedics came but she didn't go in the ambulance with them. Two women happened to see it start about half a block and had called the police by the time I'd approached, and there were at least two others; one more was a plain-clothes officer, I think, and there was also a security guard from the building where all this was happening. So, I'm guessing a good five or six others on scene. I was crossing the street at the time and just kept moving in the direction of the assault, so I have no clue if anybody else was headed that way.

SLThomas
08-18-2008, 11:23 AM
Yup, good for you! The Man With The Umbrella.

A couple of years ago I saw on a fairly busy street here a guy (looked no more than 20) hit what seemed to be his girlfriend.The girl was wearing a veil and she gave me a look that said thank you...He punched her in the face while they were at a bus stop. I had gone the copy shop and about to cross the street when I heard yelling in Farsi. It was the douchebag; he was fairly short but unfortunetly his g-f was shorter. I remember yelling all kinds of insults at him...If he would have touched me I think that I would have gone nuts and kick him and stuff. What was strange was that it happened on a usually busy street but there was nobody on the streets, and it was on a weekday at lunchtime.

They left together; that was four years ago. Hope they're not married! :(

The whole thing lasted less than 30 seconds, but it seemed as if it lasted for five minutes. I was on full adrenaline rush after that!

S-L