Son of Ray's Cheating Thread or I've Got A Brain Crush How Have I Sinned?

I was looking at Ray's thread/poll on what AWers considering cheating. It seems from the numbers that everyone pretty much agrees that cheating on a spouse or SO involves a breach of trust in the relationship.

But what about the brain crush?

I experience them ALL THE TIME! Every time I read or hear something perfect or poignant or funny or bold or ironic or sassy or subtle or goofy or brilliant, I fall in mad love with the writer/speaker. Brain crushes cross genders and time, language and understanding.

So is the brain crush innocent appreciation of a creative moment or disloyalty to a RL relationship cloaked in admiration for someone outside that relationship? My husband takes a dim view of my brain crushes (I guess yelling "I want to have Wallace Stegner's baby!" after finishing Angle of Repose didn't endear either my habit or Mr. Stegner to him.)

What say you all, have I sinned?

(You should know that I harbor unabashed brain crushes on most of the posters at AW.)

Mentally undressing Wallace Stegner? I don't think I can do that.

But I can admire him out loud which is my achilles heel. Do you amend your opinions for fear of hurting your SO's feelings?

(However there is a certain someone around here that has been known to wear chocolate pants and I have imagined what would happen to those on a hot day. Mea culpa and pass the champagne.)

dolores haze said:

What goes on in my head is my own freakin' business. I am under no obligation to share my brain crushes with my hubby. That said - I do often share them. He knows there are certain people I'd be hard pressed not to run off with and have a mad, mad affair with, should they ever wander into my little corner of the world. He finds it all highly amusing.

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There is a touch of sexual arousal that comes with the brain crush but that's not the essence of it. I'm not sure if it's avoidable. But the brain crush is also ephemeral, like Jimmy Carter's "lusting in his heart." There doesn't seem to be any possibility of the fantasy crossing into reality in the brain crush situation.

nerds said:

Dear Abby:

I have a crush on cray. Also Haggis. Maybe even Silver King and robeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeia. eiaeieiiii. Am I cheating on them?




p.s. No, I don't know any people with normal names so just shut up Abby okay?

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Dear Nerds;

I can see why cray, Silver King and Robeieiaiaiaiieiaiaia would be fair game for your brain crushes, but Haggis? You realize that Haggis is a mean little dog with a drug problem, don't you? And besides, he's all mine, mine, mine, mine!

Yours sincerely,
Abby

dolores haze said:

Ooooh - I'm such a lucky little slitch. *fanning self*

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True dat, girlfriend.

Do men get brain crushes or are they merely amused by ours (or not amused as the case may be.)

Once upon a time a friend of ours came to the house. He was an artist of some renown and we talked for hours. I don't know if it was the wine or the stars or the conversation but by the end of the evening and for several days afterward I wished I wasn't married and that he wasn't married.

I still carry a measure of guilt on that one.