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View Full Version : Son of Ray's Cheating Thread or I've Got A Brain Crush How Have I Sinned?



Mom'sWrite
08-10-2008, 11:21 PM
I was looking at Ray's thread/poll on what AWers considering cheating. It seems from the numbers that everyone pretty much agrees that cheating on a spouse or SO involves a breach of trust in the relationship.

But what about the brain crush?

I experience them ALL THE TIME! Every time I read or hear something perfect or poignant or funny or bold or ironic or sassy or subtle or goofy or brilliant, I fall in mad love with the writer/speaker. Brain crushes cross genders and time, language and understanding.

So is the brain crush innocent appreciation of a creative moment or disloyalty to a RL relationship cloaked in admiration for someone outside that relationship? My husband takes a dim view of my brain crushes (I guess yelling "I want to have Wallace Stegner's baby!" after finishing Angle of Repose didn't endear either my habit or Mr. Stegner to him.)

What say you all, have I sinned?

(You should know that I harbor unabashed brain crushes on most of the posters at AW.)

SpookyWriter
08-10-2008, 11:31 PM
I think you're safe unless you've begun to mentally undress the crushee. Wanting to see between their pages is a thin excuse for promiscuity.

dolores haze
08-10-2008, 11:37 PM
What goes on in my head is my own freakin' business. I am under no obligation to share my brain crushes with my hubby. That said - I do often share them. He knows there are certain people I'd be hard pressed not to run off with and have a mad, mad affair with, should they ever wander into my little corner of the world. He finds it all highly amusing.

Mom'sWrite
08-10-2008, 11:38 PM
Mentally undressing Wallace Stegner? I don't think I can do that.

But I can admire him out loud which is my achilles heel. Do you amend your opinions for fear of hurting your SO's feelings?

(However there is a certain someone around here that has been known to wear chocolate pants and I have imagined what would happen to those on a hot day. Mea culpa and pass the champagne.)

nerds
08-10-2008, 11:45 PM
Dear Abby:

I have a crush on cray. Also Haggis. Maybe even Silver King and robeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeia. eiaeieiiii. Am I cheating on them?




p.s. No, I don't know any people with normal names so just shut up Abby okay?

Mom'sWrite
08-10-2008, 11:50 PM
What goes on in my head is my own freakin' business. I am under no obligation to share my brain crushes with my hubby. That said - I do often share them. He knows there are certain people I'd be hard pressed not to run off with and have a mad, mad affair with, should they ever wander into my little corner of the world. He finds it all highly amusing.

There is a touch of sexual arousal that comes with the brain crush but that's not the essence of it. I'm not sure if it's avoidable. But the brain crush is also ephemeral, like Jimmy Carter's "lusting in his heart." There doesn't seem to be any possibility of the fantasy crossing into reality in the brain crush situation.

Mom'sWrite
08-10-2008, 11:56 PM
Dear Abby:

I have a crush on cray. Also Haggis. Maybe even Silver King and robeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeiaeia. eiaeieiiii. Am I cheating on them?




p.s. No, I don't know any people with normal names so just shut up Abby okay?

Dear Nerds;

I can see why cray, Silver King and Robeieiaiaiaiieiaiaia would be fair game for your brain crushes, but Haggis? You realize that Haggis is a mean little dog with a drug problem, don't you? And besides, he's all mine, mine, mine, mine!

Yours sincerely,
Abby

Mr Flibble
08-10-2008, 11:56 PM
That said - I do often share them. He knows there are certain people I'd be hard pressed not to run off with and have a mad, mad affair with, should they ever wander into my little corner of the world. He finds it all highly amusing.

Mine does too ( well as long as there's not much chance of me actually meeting them lol) We have 'the list'. The five people that if I ( or he) were to meet, it would be acceptable to tempt them with handcuffs and babyoil. Or just jump their bones.

He doesn't quite know what to do when I get a crush on my characters though. Mind you he gets the benefit if I write a saucy scene.

dolores haze
08-11-2008, 12:03 AM
Something I do that is probably a listed perversion with a Latin name - I make the man I love read me stuff written by the writers I love. My hubby has the most gorgeous reading voice. He does different voices and accents and stuff, too. Ooooh - I'm such a lucky little slitch. *fanning self*

Mom'sWrite
08-11-2008, 12:12 AM
Ooooh - I'm such a lucky little slitch. *fanning self*

True dat, girlfriend.

Do men get brain crushes or are they merely amused by ours (or not amused as the case may be.)

Seaclusion
08-11-2008, 12:23 AM
I am amused anytime a woman is thinking about something other than strappy shoes

Richard

writerterri
08-11-2008, 12:24 AM
One time my husband kissed me and I had this image of someone I had a cruch on come into my head. It made the kiss better. Then they made love to me. It was exhilarating.


I usually let crushes come and go as to not mess with my marriage.

Mom'sWrite
08-11-2008, 12:40 AM
Once upon a time a friend of ours came to the house. He was an artist of some renown and we talked for hours. I don't know if it was the wine or the stars or the conversation but by the end of the evening and for several days afterward I wished I wasn't married and that he wasn't married.

I still carry a measure of guilt on that one.

SPMiller
08-11-2008, 01:04 AM
I do not get brain crushes in the sense you mean.

But then, I'm single, and I can therefore indulge should I choose to...

Cranky
08-11-2008, 01:08 AM
Interesting question. I suppose it depends on your SO's point of view.

For myself, if my DH is showing any jealousy or discomfort with any of my other relationships (real life or online), it's just a sign to me that he's feeling neglected in some way, and I make sure we have a talk and spend a little extra time together.

He knows he's #1, but it doesn't hurt to reassure him of the fact every now and again. :D

WriteKnight
08-11-2008, 01:24 AM
"Brain Crush" - Hmmmmmmm, well I suppose it depends on where one keeps one's brains.

SpookyWriter
08-11-2008, 01:26 AM
"Brain Crush" - Hmmmmmmm, well I suppose it depends on where one keeps one's brains.
One has brains?

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-11-2008, 02:10 AM
The only man Ol' Boy ever got a bit of the Ol' Green-Eyed Monster going over was, believe it or not, Tom Jones. The night I consumated my 20-year desire to get one of the famous Jones Kisses during a concert, Ol' Boy didn't like it much. When I explained that Tom was the one who should be bent out of shape - after all, Ol' Boy took me away from Tom, not the other way 'round! - he settled down and was pretty proud of himself.

Since then, I've fallen in lust with many a fine boyo. Gerry, Russell, Sean1, Val, Pierce, Sean2, Karl, Vigo, Johnny... ::sigh::... and Ol' Boy understands.

It doesn't matter where we work up an appetite as long as we come home to eat dinner.

JLCwrites
08-11-2008, 02:14 AM
I told Mr. Turkey about a brain crush... he told me I should write romances. :)

auntybug
08-11-2008, 02:19 AM
Mine knows everything. He knows my latest crushes, sees my current avatars & refers to "you know who" as the 'love of my life'. I'm dreadfully faithful. He says "I don't care who primes the pump" he's the one that gets me...hooray or sad for him ;)

StoryG27
08-11-2008, 02:24 AM
I am amused anytime a woman is thinking about something other than strappy shoes

Richard
I am equally amused when a man is thinking of anything other than a woman wearing only strappy shoes.

SpookyWriter
08-11-2008, 02:25 AM
I am equally amused when a man is thinking of anything other than a woman wearing only strappy shoes.I'd like to find one who can cook and wear those strappy shoes.

StoryG27
08-11-2008, 02:35 AM
I'd like to find one who can cook and wear those strappy shoes.
If the food being prepared is hot and will splatter, then add an apron, and most any woman can do it, it's just very few men deserve such a treat.

JLCwrites
08-11-2008, 03:02 AM
If the food being prepared is hot and will splatter, then add an apron, and most any woman can do it, it's just very few men deserve such a treat. I don't think most men would let her finish cooking the food. :)

Mandy-Jane
08-11-2008, 03:47 AM
I have those brain crushes ALL THE TIME! And my darling knows about all of them. But he also knows that he's the only one I'll ever be cuddling up to at night.

So it's cool.

SPMiller
08-11-2008, 04:04 AM
I don't think most men would let her finish cooking the food. :)And this is how housefires start ;)

"Honey, did you check on the food? ... What's that smell??"