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writerterri
08-10-2008, 05:01 AM
First, hi all! It's been a while. I've been working, comforting my family members from my uncles death, taking care of kids and animals and resting in between. I miss you guys! Dorks.


My husband lost his job a couple of weeks ago, our main income. He was in construction, so it was just a matter of time. But when he asked why he was let go, he was told it was because of his attitude and performance. What?! So totally untrue and we can prove it!!! He was there 9 years! Not one write up or one warning. We can sue but the lawyer wants 30,000! What?! Sure, I'll write you a check.

So, life goes on. We decide to move into a cheaper place. First place we looked at was great and perfect for us. They were going to let us in the low income apartments based on the fact that my husband cashed in his 401k and he was looking for a job. The girl got out her calculator and asked us what we thought he might make an hour. We didn't know! So we said 12.00 an hour. She did her little calculations, looked at my stubs did some more calculations. She said okay! So we thought we were in! She asked for a deposit and told us she would get back to us. We stressed to her that our lease was up and we needed to give a 30 notice and did she see any problems of us getting in the apartment. She said that everything looked good and we would hear from her in a few days. Well, we gave our notice and a week went by before we called her back. She said she didn't know yet and would call us back in 48 hours. I stressed to her again that we had given our notice and needed to know. Another week went by and after the second or third call to the apartments she called back stating that we were denied because we gave a wage that was too high. I told her to take it down to 11, my husband doesn't have a job yet. She said she couldn't she could get fired. She told me not to worry that she would send the paper work in and see if she did the math wrong. Three more days went by and she bubbly told us that she was sorry.

Um, is it just me or did she know when she did the calculations that we wouldn't be able to get in? Is this girl stupid? I mean, come on! She had to know! What was the damn calculator for? Couldn't she have just told us right there that we didn't qualify?

Now, my husband can't find a job to save our lives. We think it's because of his supposed bad reference he getting. That's his 10 year history! He couldn't even get a simple labour job and we can't do anything about it.

So, we go looking for other low income places that we may be able to live in and so far we can't get in because of what my husband made last year. At least the people have the gonads to tell us up front. Too bad the other lady didn't.

I told my husband to call the apartments we live in and take back the 30 day notice since they let us do it one time. It was rented.

We decided to look at owners trying rent out their own properties and got a prospect. It sounded nice over the phone. The lady said there was new carpet being laid as we spoke and she just cleaned the place up. We got up early and met her at the mobile home. My girls got out to look with me and were actually scared that we might let them live there. It was old and delapited. My husband calmed us down and said that it was probably nice in the inside. The lady told us she was a teacher and when she pulled up we thought is was her brother. She was dressed in dirty clothes and her hair looked as if she just rolled out of bed. Her upper teeth were not in or maybe just missing and her giant boobs swung across her belly button area from side to side as she walked toward us extending her hand.

She raved about the over grown rose bushes surrounded by weeds and the new grass that was sprouting as she constantly licked her upper gums. I could hardly understand what she was saying. In the meantime my older daughter kept saying, "Ew!" and I elbow her.

The woman looked at my girls who were already in shock and said, "You're lucky I'm not going to be your teacher!" My daughter almost started crying.

We entered the modular home and a stench caught my nose and I almost threw up. The carpet people, she claimed, never showed up. She said they are coming during the week. She also mentioned on our tour that she had the central air conditioning taken out because it was running 2,000 a month. Yes, she said 2,000. Did she think we just rolled off the onion truck earlier that morning? As we walked through the house she claimed that the condition of the house was in much worse shape last week and believe her, this was good compared to.

Each room had a different carpet and a different stench. Dusty cobwebs rested in every window and corner. Stains remained on walls and floors
that wouldn't come out. The kitchen was the worst of all. I consider the kitchen the heart of the house and the heart of a domesticated woman. The cupboards were worn of the lacquer that once made them look new and the counter tops had bare spots in areas that got lots of use. The stove and fridge were covered in rust spots and I was afraid to look in the fridge as I always do. The floor was caked with dirt in corners and under appliances as the house sat near a dirt road. She looked at me beaming, looking for approval. I said, smiling, "It has lots of cupboards!" She went on about the cupboards as I imagined if I would even put a glass or bowl in them and then use it without getting nauseated.

At this point I couldn't wait to get in my car and drive far away from this place. I wondered what would become of us.

Is this how families become homeless?

I went home and fell asleep in my chair wanting to escape the doomed feeling.

We have a couple of more prospects that we can see on Monday. My husband is going to see if he will be able to collect unemployment, fat chance because of him being wrongly terminated, but there's still hope. There's a program I'm going to check into to get my breathing medicines and a clinic I can go to to get my blood checked. Yes, we lost our insurance.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I usually don't like it unless I'm looking for it.


I need cheerleaders and encouragement!

Tell me your story and how you got through it. I know this only a sink hole in the road of life. I just need to know people are routing for me.

Appalachian Writer
08-10-2008, 05:24 AM
One of my MANY stories:
My second husband was a batterer. I ran away. Had to leave my home to save my life, so to speak. Anyway, I was doomed to be homeless, both me and my girls. SAVED. I found a program that matched single mothers, one with a home and one without. I went to live with a Dutch Reformed Minister who was recently divorced. She never cleaned and she never cooked. I did it. I lived there, my 2 girls and I, for about a year, working and saving. I left, moved into my own apartment, and never looked back.

There are housing programs everywhere. Call your local dept of social services. They should have a list of referrals. What you really need is temporary housing. Sometimes, they'll put you up in a hotel for a week or two, sometimes as long as a month. Once you hit the system, the system works to get you out. Send your husband to the unemployment office. If you're fired, your wait for benefits is longer but you can get them. In VA there's a program called TANF. It offers temporary financial assistance toward the payment of urgent bills, electric bills, car payments, heat. I'm sure it's available in other states, as I do not know where you are. As horrible as this sounds, sometimes families have to split for a month or two, sometimes longer, because there is more assistance available to women with children than to whole family units. It happens. Also, the unemployment office has a list of available jobs. Your husband might not get to work in construction, but a buck's a buck, and with a history of nine years of steady employment, then he's good to go at a lot of places. For example, say he got a job at the Burger King. The moment he gets his first paycheck, the two of you go to a local low-income housing project. He tells them he's a construction worker but he's been out of work and this is the only job he can get. He shows the stub. You show them your income. Voila! You're qualified. There's also friends and family. Go to them. Go to your church. There's help. Most people want to help, they just don't know who to offer assistance or where to go. Good luck.

Appalachian Writer
08-10-2008, 05:30 AM
P.S. There are also a million Community Action Programs, usually grant funded. They sometimes operate housing units. There's Habitat for Humanity. Your contribution, after the qualification process, is 500 man hours of labor on your own house or another house being built in the vicinity. Your husband's a construction worker, again VOILA! Apply. Then you never have to give notice or worry about a lease. You have a brand new, 1100 sq. foot home on a lot. The mortgage payments for these homes are minimal. I'm thinking but I just got home from the deli and my back is killing me. I'll come back to you with more later.

dolores haze
08-10-2008, 05:36 AM
I know you don't want sympathy, but I'm sending you some anyway. I'm also sending you a great big hug. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through a rough time.

I think you're husband would qualify for unemployment. He was let go from his job. That's what unemployment is for, isn't it?

Do you have a kind relative you can stay with if the housing prospects don't pan out? Because frankly, Terri, this is how families become homeless.

That nasty house you looked at? I once moved into a filthy house that was splattered in grafitti and had been used as a squat. The price was right, though, so I scoured it clean and gave it a fresh coat of paint. It turned into a lovely place to live. I didn't have kids at the time, though. Basically, when you're looking at cheap places to live try and see beyond the dirt. Elbow grease can work wonders. (The place you looked at sounded beyond hope, though!)

You hubby shouldn't use his last employer as a reference. He should get some other references. Maybe a co-worker in his last job or a supervisor who will give him an off-the-record reference behind the employers back.

See if you qualify for food stamps or WIC. Basically, find out what you are entitled to. Swallowing your pride will taste vile, but it's better than being hungry. Try not to spend the savings (if you have any), you will need that for deposits, etc, for housing. Does your state have some kind of medical coverage for low income families?

Is your hubby good at fixing stuff? Maybe there is a job managing an apartment building or something. Often, an apartment comes with the job. (I'm not sure of your location, but I've seen this type of arrangement in many cities.)

Big hug, Terri. Stay strong!

Clair Dickson
08-10-2008, 05:39 AM
Wow-- that's rough.

Worst case-- maybe hubby can get a job at a McDs or Wal-Mart type place. Some dollars coming in is better than no dollars, right? My experience is that most of these places don't carea bout references. I've worked at a regional supercenter retailer for 11 years and the interview was basically a check for pulse and ability to follow verbal instructions.

Here in Michigan, we've been leading the way in the recession (they say the unemployment rate is 7%, but that doesn't count the people who ran out of unemployemnt.) But we've still got lots of semi-skilled jobs that go unfilled. Plus, the store where I work, ironically, is not even getting enough apps to get the recieving deptarment staffed at nominal capacity.

There are good renters with cheap places-- I know, my Oldest Bother has a nice condo (small, but still nice) right in town that he can't hardly find renters for and he's offering it at a loss. He's torn between abandoning the property and trying to hold out for a little longer. He started doing a lot of side-jobs, doing automotive work for people in the neighborhood for a discount price to help pay the bills on the condo. He's holding on. Not easy, never easy.

Builds character, right? Though, I have to imagine too much character might be a problem. =)

Susie
08-10-2008, 05:49 AM
So sorry for your troubles, terri and appal. It is very hard to deal with. I can only offer you prayers & good thoughts. :Hug2: You're the best and have a feeling you'll get through it ok.

C.bronco
08-10-2008, 05:55 AM
Terri! Terri! Terri! YAY!!!!
Rock on, Dork-lover. I'm rooting for you
(because I am a dork).

sassandgroove
08-10-2008, 05:55 AM
I just held on to my faith and new it would eventually get better. I was single though. Do you go to church? can anyone there help you?

Mandy-Jane
08-10-2008, 05:56 AM
I don't have a story to match that one, but :Hug2: anyway.

Chumplet
08-10-2008, 06:06 AM
Oh, Terri, we just finished a four year drought. My husband had been let go for attitude problems (the new supervisor had an attitude problem) at a private boys' school he'd been working at for over five years. We barely managed on my income while he searched and searched for work. Unemployment insurance ran out and he tried to make a go at self-employment, but the money only came in spurts.

We had no savings to speak of, so we used our credit to the limit, and finally went to the bank to re-jig the mortgage and consolidate our debt.

A month later, he finally got a permanent position with a company he had temped for. Just in time for our daughter to start college. She got a government student loan for her first year, but now I'll be able to put away a bit for her subsequent years of study. My son is due to start college in a year. We can even afford the good toilet paper, thank God. My ass was starting to get irritated.

There's hope - Don't let your husband lose faith in himself. Loss of confidence can be devastating. Even if he gets a job in retail or a fast food restaurant, it will help to pay the bills along with your income.

When I started writing, I had dreams that I'd save the family with a big fat contract. It didn't happen, but I have hope for the future. I have hope for your future, too.

Unique
08-10-2008, 03:37 PM
terri -

call me. please just do call me.

>''<


if you get my machine - leave a number. K, k?

ETA: oh, yeah. I got dial up right now - if it's busy, see if I'm here and tell me to hang up. :D

SpookyWriter
08-10-2008, 03:49 PM
I need cheerleaders and encouragement!

Tell me your story and how you got through it. I know this only a sink hole in the road of life. I just need to know people are routing for me.Yikes Terri. Have you guys considered moving to another city? I know you love the big "R" but it's a small job and housing market. Go south to Vegas or Phoenix and you'll have better opportunities.

I'm always rooting for you's!

Elaine Margarett
08-10-2008, 04:03 PM
Terri,

What state do you live in?

In Maryland former employers can only answer a work reference inquiery by saying, "yes, this person worked here for x amount of years." The fact he worked 1o years at the same company speaks for itself. Forget the lawyer; it's a waste of time and money. Most states are "no-fault" states, meaning an employer is protected because they can fire an employee for no reason/no fault of his own.

Definately get those references from your hubby's supervisors or co-workers. You qualify for unemployment insurance; use it. (When my hubby was fired from his job, his B***H of a boss tried to say he was fired for "gross-misconduct" which is the only thing that will get your unemployment benefits denied. They also tried to withhold COBRA benefits for the same reason. WE did fight those charges and we did, eventually, get the benefits.) Don't mention to prospective employers anything about his dismissal. Simply saying he was laid off due to lack of work will suffice.

My husband is with a company that manages energy projects. Wind parks and other energy construction is going strong and is recession proof. Have you tried the online search engines for construction jobs in the energy sector? It might mean a move; but it might also mean a job that your hubby travels back and forth for. A lot of these energy projects get built in 6-9 mos. and then the crew moves on to a different site. It can be tough, having your hubby away, but the money and benfits generally compensate for it.

Best of luck! Many of us have been in your shoes. IT WILL GET BETTER! In the mean time; hang in there and keep us posted!!!

Best wishes,
Elaine
(back on line after no phone (dialup) for two weeks!)

nerds
08-10-2008, 04:29 PM
oh, terri.


:Hug2:


I've been wondering where you were. I use your quilt ALL the time.

Please listen to all the good advice here. Surely after nine years your man can receive unemployment. I'm in the direst straits myself after being laid off and am exactly one very realistic step away from living in the street, so I have nothing to offer other than a truckload of sympathy and empathy and thoughts going your way that things improve for you immediately. So sorry you're going through all this, how feckin' awful.

:Hug2:

regdog
08-10-2008, 05:03 PM
Sorry you're having such a bad time. Here are some hugs and cheers for you :Hug2::Hug2::Hug2::Hug2::Hug2: :Sun::Sun::Sun::Sun:

:e2cheer::e2cheer::e2cheer::e2cheer::e2cheer:

nerds
08-10-2008, 10:28 PM
terri, PLEASE come back when you can and tell us how things are going. How I wish I could help you in some real way.


I've been thinking about you, and your post, all day. And it has led me to a decision about my own life, which is presently not working on any level whatsoever. In fact, it is genuinely not salvageable at this point within the traditional bounds of jobs/rent/saving up/eating food/paying bills. I have to face that it ain't happenin' and ain't gonna happen in time for me to survive. So, I'm ditching everything and going walking. I'm going to walk all over New England. Find day work along the way. Write about it. Film it. Who knows, maybe I'll accumulate a following. Groupies.

I can do this because I'm alone, on my own. Beats living in a damn box on the street. Your post could not have come at a better time to open my own eyes. I cannot do it anymore, I'm all out of trying, and can only live on peanut butter for so long.

Please know that if I could wave my wand and put you guys in the house of your dreams I would. Please check in and tell us what's happening.

writerterri
08-10-2008, 10:49 PM
P.S. There are also a million Community Action Programs, usually grant funded. They sometimes operate housing units. There's Habitat for Humanity. Your contribution, after the qualification process, is 500 man hours of labor on your own house or another house being built in the vicinity. Your husband's a construction worker, again VOILA! Apply. Then you never have to give notice or worry about a lease. You have a brand new, 1100 sq. foot home on a lot. The mortgage payments for these homes are minimal. I'm thinking but I just got home from the deli and my back is killing me. I'll come back to you with more later.

I'm making a list. Brilliant ideas! I'm going to look them up.

Thank you so much!

writerterri
08-10-2008, 10:58 PM
I know you don't want sympathy, but I'm sending you some anyway. I'm also sending you a great big hug. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through a rough time.

Thank you!

I think you're husband would qualify for unemployment. He was let go from his job. That's what unemployment is for, isn't it?

His interview is tomorrow. Monday.

Do you have a kind relative you can stay with if the housing prospects don't pan out? Because frankly, Terri, this is how families become homeless.

I have a brother who's a million heir but he wont even take my calls. There's two vacant houses in my family but no one's offered. And I come from a family where you just don't ask.

That nasty house you looked at? I once moved into a filthy house that was splattered in grafitti and had been used as a squat. The price was right, though, so I scoured it clean and gave it a fresh coat of paint. It turned into a lovely place to live. I didn't have kids at the time, though. Basically, when you're looking at cheap places to live try and see beyond the dirt. Elbow grease can work wonders. (The place you looked at sounded beyond hope, though!)

Just for health reasons on mine and my daughter's part, we just can't. We both have asthma really bad. But if it came down to it, it would move in.

You hubby shouldn't use his last employer as a reference. He should get some other references. Maybe a co-worker in his last job or a supervisor who will give him an off-the-record reference behind the employers back.

Good idea.

See if you qualify for food stamps or WIC. Basically, find out what you are entitled to. Swallowing your pride will taste vile, but it's better than being hungry. Try not to spend the savings (if you have any), you will need that for deposits, etc, for housing. Does your state have some kind of medical coverage for low income families?

We probably can when we run out of money. I'll keep it in mind.

Is your hubby good at fixing stuff? Maybe there is a job managing an apartment building or something. Often, an apartment comes with the job. (I'm not sure of your location, but I've seen this type of arrangement in many cities.)

We've been looking. Too small of a town I think. Not many of those available.

Big hug, Terri. Stay strong!


You mean a lot to me! Thank you so much!

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:05 PM
Wow-- that's rough.

Worst case-- maybe hubby can get a job at a McDs or Wal-Mart type place. Some dollars coming in is better than no dollars, right? My experience is that most of these places don't carea bout references. I've worked at a regional supercenter retailer for 11 years and the interview was basically a check for pulse and ability to follow verbal instructions.

I'm encouraging him to just go and apply. But he would make more if we collected his unemployment and he went to a short term school.

Here in Michigan, we've been leading the way in the recession (they say the unemployment rate is 7%, but that doesn't count the people who ran out of unemployemnt.) But we've still got lots of semi-skilled jobs that go unfilled. Plus, the store where I work, ironically, is not even getting enough apps to get the recieving deptarment staffed at nominal capacity.

Whoa

There are good renters with cheap places-- I know, my Oldest Bother has a nice condo (small, but still nice) right in town that he can't hardly find renters for and he's offering it at a loss. He's torn between abandoning the property and trying to hold out for a little longer. He started doing a lot of side-jobs, doing automotive work for people in the neighborhood for a discount price to help pay the bills on the condo. He's holding on. Not easy, never easy.

Cheap places are hard to come by here that are clean enough to move into. You should see it, it's a mess, but we are looking.

Builds character, right? Though, I have to imagine too much character might be a problem. =)

You're the best! Thanks for taking the time. I keep telling my husband that someday this will all be behind us. Stepping out of comfort zones really suck, but, yes, they do build character.

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:10 PM
Terri! Terri! Terri! YAY!!!!
Rock on, Dork-lover. I'm rooting for you
(because I am a dork).


Me too. Rooting! That's what I meant to say. I kept looking at it but it didn't sink in 'till now.


Routing? Where am I?

I so needed that laugh.

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:11 PM
I just held on to my faith and new it would eventually get better. I was single though. Do you go to church? can anyone there help you?


Yes, I do go to church but I have a whole big'Ol long story why I will never ask my church for help again. Maybe I'll tell you about it someday.


Thanks Sassypants!

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:18 PM
Oh, Terri, we just finished a four year drought. My husband had been let go for attitude problems (the new supervisor had an attitude problem) at a private boys' school he'd been working at for over five years. We barely managed on my income while he searched and searched for work. Unemployment insurance ran out and he tried to make a go at self-employment, but the money only came in spurts.

We had no savings to speak of, so we used our credit to the limit, and finally went to the bank to re-jig the mortgage and consolidate our debt.

A month later, he finally got a permanent position with a company he had temped for. Just in time for our daughter to start college. She got a government student loan for her first year, but now I'll be able to put away a bit for her subsequent years of study. My son is due to start college in a year. We can even afford the good toilet paper, thank God. My ass was starting to get irritated.

:ROFL:Amen, Sistafriend!




There's hope - Don't let your husband lose faith in himself. Loss of confidence can be devastating. Even if he gets a job in retail or a fast food restaurant, it will help to pay the bills along with your income.

When I started writing, I had dreams that I'd save the family with a big fat contract. It didn't happen, but I have hope for the future. I have hope for your future, too.

Good news is, the kids can eat at school upto three times a day now. And we can probably get them the state medical program. I have one who has asthma and she already uses my medication to get through.

There's benifits to being in poverty! It's a shame you have to be there to get them though.

Thanks so much for the encouragement!

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:19 PM
terri -

call me. please just do call me.

>''<


if you get my machine - leave a number. K, k?

ETA: oh, yeah. I got dial up right now - if it's busy, see if I'm here and tell me to hang up. :D


I'll have to search long and hard to find your number, unless you pm me? :D

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:21 PM
Yikes Terri. Have you guys considered moving to another city? I know you love the big "R" but it's a small job and housing market. Go south to Vegas or Phoenix and you'll have better opportunities.

I'm always rooting for you's!

That was our first thought but we can't go into a big city with no place to live and no jobs. We can struggle better here then think about moving.

Thanks, Spook!

SpookyWriter
08-10-2008, 11:34 PM
That was our first thought but we can't go into a big city with no place to live and no jobs. We can struggle better here then think about moving.

Thanks, Spook!Yeah, I understand the realities of picking up house and family to move far away. Wish I could offer more help, but I know you guys will be fine. Hubby will locate a great job and a new career while you will walk into a casino, drop a dollar, and win the jackpot.

writerterri
08-10-2008, 11:44 PM
Terri,

What state do you live in?

In Maryland former employers can only answer a work reference inquiery by saying, "yes, this person worked here for x amount of years." The fact he worked 1o years at the same company speaks for itself. Forget the lawyer; it's a waste of time and money. Most states are "no-fault" states, meaning an employer is protected because they can fire an employee for no reason/no fault of his own.

We come from a no fault state as well. The only question employers can ask here is if they would ever rehire him. We think they're saying no. And it was his supervisors who threw him under the buss in order to save their own jobs.

Definately get those references from your hubby's supervisors or co-workers. You qualify for unemployment insurance; use it. (When my hubby was fired from his job, his B***H of a boss tried to say he was fired for "gross-misconduct" which is the only thing that will get your unemployment benefits denied. They also tried to withhold COBRA benefits for the same reason. WE did fight those charges and we did, eventually, get the benefits.) Don't mention to prospective employers anything about his dismissal. Simply saying he was laid off due to lack of work will suffice.

We're hoping this wont happen. But his boss sure did cover his butt by saying it was because of his so called attitude and his performance. Now our insurance is gone and a good referance.

My husband is with a company that manages energy projects. Wind parks and other energy construction is going strong and is recession proof. Have you tried the online search engines for construction jobs in the energy sector? It might mean a move; but it might also mean a job that your hubby travels back and forth for. A lot of these energy projects get built in 6-9 mos. and then the crew moves on to a different site. It can be tough, having your hubby away, but the money and benfits generally compensate for it.

Making a note...

Best of luck! Many of us have been in your shoes. IT WILL GET BETTER! In the mean time; hang in there and keep us posted!!!

Best wishes,
Elaine
(back on line after no phone (dialup) for two weeks!)

Glad you'reback!

Thanks for the lift! I really appreciate it.

So, how did you fight the charges and win?

writerterri
08-11-2008, 12:00 AM
terri, PLEASE come back when you can and tell us how things are going. How I wish I could help you in some real way.


I've been thinking about you, and your post, all day. And it has led me to a decision about my own life, which is presently not working on any level whatsoever. In fact, it is genuinely not salvageable at this point within the traditional bounds of jobs/rent/saving up/eating food/paying bills. I have to face that it ain't happenin' and ain't gonna happen in time for me to survive. So, I'm ditching everything and going walking. I'm going to walk all over New England. Find day work along the way. Write about it. Film it. Who knows, maybe I'll accumulate a following. Groupies.

I can do this because I'm alone, on my own. Beats living in a damn box on the street. Your post could not have come at a better time to open my own eyes. I cannot do it anymore, I'm all out of trying, and can only live on peanut butter for so long.

Please know that if I could wave my wand and put you guys in the house of your dreams I would. Please check in and tell us what's happening.

Right! I feel that sympathy only keeps you sitting in a chair worrying and crying. Cheers and encouragement can get you moving! And keeps you out of depression.

Move it, girl! You can do this! You can beat this! Working and being around people, making them laugh will only make you a better person and keep you out of a slump. We'll be here when you need us to cheer you on. Don't let life beat you down! Life is tough enough, and besides you'll have a story of encouragemnt to tell and how you got through.

Let's rise above our pitty pots and get moving to change our future!

Make an effort to do three good deeds this week to total strangers while you're out and I will too.


Change is filled with 99% of false fears.


See how inspiring you can be?

Dorkierthanme. :D

writerterri
08-11-2008, 12:04 AM
Yeah, I understand the realities of picking up house and family to move far away. Wish I could offer more help, but I know you guys will be fine. Hubby will locate a great job and a new career while you will walk into a casino, drop a dollar, and win the jackpot.


Now, I know why you and I aren't married. :tongue:D *pinch*


I'm looking forward to the day when all this is behind us.

SpookyWriter
08-11-2008, 01:22 AM
Now, I know why you and I aren't married. :tongue:D *pinch*Because the better man won.

Deccydiva
08-11-2008, 02:01 AM
I can understand it a bit as I am in a similar position but without partner or family. I am qualified 22 years but can't get a job in my field, I can't even get a job in MacDonalds but nobody has actually explained why.
I hope you keep posting so folk know you're okay and that you will be able to post some good news very soon.

writerterri
08-11-2008, 02:06 AM
Because the better man won.


He probably did. And is laughing all the way to the bank without me.

JLCwrites
08-11-2008, 02:31 AM
:Hug2: Terri! You are smart, talented, and driven. You will get through this, I just know it!!!

I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. (more hugs!)
-TL

writerterri
08-11-2008, 02:32 AM
:Hug2: Terri! You are smart, talented, and driven. You will get through this, I just know it!!!

I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. (more hugs!)
-TL


*smooch!*

Thanks dork!

SpookyWriter
08-11-2008, 02:34 AM
He probably did. And is laughing all the way to the bank without me.Dork, he's the man who will bring home the bacon, sliced, and make your family all loved. I envy him.

writerterri
08-11-2008, 02:38 AM
Dork, he's the man who will bring home the bacon, sliced, and make your family all loved. I envy him.



OH!


You sweet thang!

Elaine Margarett
08-11-2008, 05:10 AM
Glad you'reback!

Thanks for the lift! I really appreciate it.

So, how did you fight the charges and win?

In my husband's case it was strictly a punitive action taken by a woman scorned. There was no validity to any of the charges and she relized once he stood up to her that she couldn't prove them.

Is there a reason you think the employer will try to prevent you from accessing unemployment? Most companys don't. In your husband's case saying he had a bad attitude really isn't enough. Attitude is subjective and people lose jobs all the time becasue of personality conflicts. At worse, in Maryland that will get you a six week delay in receiving your benefits.

Does he have his last job performance evaluation he can use to bolster his case? And it's in his favor he was employed for as long as he was.

Definately check out the online search engines. It might mean a move, but that could be a good thing!

Wishing only the best for you~
EM

Chumplet
08-11-2008, 05:44 AM
I forgot to mention placement agencies. In Canada we have temp agencies like Manpower. You contact them, get screened, and they place you with companies who have signed up with them. They're usually short term, but sometimes steady.

That's how my hubby got his new job, by being placed temporarily with a similar agency at a company that eventually wanted him permanently.

sassandgroove
08-11-2008, 06:18 PM
Still praying and thinking of you.

Pagey's_Girl
08-11-2008, 06:28 PM
I forgot to mention placement agencies. In Canada we have temp agencies like Manpower. You contact them, get screened, and they place you with companies who have signed up with them. They're usually short term, but sometimes steady.

That's how my hubby got his new job, by being placed temporarily with a similar agency at a company that eventually wanted him permanently.

Very good advice. Manpower is a good bet. There's also one called Viking Resource that handles a lot of technical/trade work. Grubb & Ellis might be another one. They had the facilities maintainence contract where I used to work. If you get assigned to a long-term contract, I know Manpower and Grubb & Ellis offer insurance coverage and maybe even a 401k, depending on which contract you're on. (I'm speaking from experience with Manpower, I worked through them on a contract with IBM for almost eleven years.)

*hugs* Hang in there. You WILL survive.

writerterri
08-12-2008, 04:23 AM
We went to two places today for low income rents. One said they would use last years taxes so they were out. Nice duplexes though. And near by was public housing for HUD. Wow! The projects never looked so good. Those were some nice places. You have to have section 8 to get into those. Nice.


The other place wasn't as nice but the place was clean. The lady explained the process with us the whole way and was very nice. She said that we were signing up under the low income rate but didn't think we would qualify, but said we could then apply for the appartment under a fair market rate which was about 4 bucks more. So we may have a place to live. And thank God we have my husbands 401k in savings or it may be a no go.

My mind is in prayer and my fingers are crossed!

reigningcatsndogs
08-12-2008, 04:54 AM
Sending more good vibes, Terri. Hang in there, hon.

nerds
08-12-2008, 04:58 AM
Keeping fingers crossed for you kid. Let us know, okay?


:Sun:

benbradley
08-12-2008, 06:21 AM
Hi, Terri, I'm thinking good thoughts for The Dorkstress and family!

And thank God we have my husbands 401k in savings or it may be a no go.
Did he cash it ALL out? Do you NEED it all to survive right now? You probably need a real CPA's advice here, but I'm thinking when you cash it out it gets taxed as income (it gets taxed as something, I'm sure of that), and that's in addition to the income you've had so far this year (I suppose a lot depends, but I'm thinking generally the more income you have in a calendar year, the higher the percentage of it that goes to taxes). I'm thinking you should at most only take out the amount you'll need for the rest of this year, to help reduce your taxes for this year. Even if you've already taken out more than you'd need for the rest of the year, you might find a CPA in a hurry and ask if any of it could possibly be undone, presuming it would be helpful. And of course if when hubby does get a job soon, what's still left in the savings plan won't get taxed.

I know you're more in survival mode right now, but it can still be helpful to think of the long run as well.

willfulone
08-12-2008, 06:25 AM
Sounds like you are on the right road toward getting a place. Great for you guys!

I just wanted to say something about the wrongful termination. Regardless of no fault state (I live in one too) a person can collect unemployment in many cases. It sounds as if yours might possibly be one since there were no poor work reviews or paperwork he signed regarding any warnings he would have received (your posts say as much). An employer can fire you for the color of your hair or if they just do not like you, but that does not make it correct to do so. I have won unemployment for being fired for not being "liked" by someone at work. Which, in my no-fault state is not reason to fight unemployment payments by the employer. Sure, the boss can let me go for that, but he had to pay.

I was wrongfully terminated when a male employee reporting to me spit on me and cut me when he hit me with his clipboard (metal clip board truckers use) upon returning from the suspension from spitting on me. They sent me home the day of the clipboard incident. They said for my safety - since the dude was pissy, they really needed him to make a run that day and he was just getting back from suspension without pay. They offered to pay me for the rest of the day. Fine, they were gonna pay me, a day off was nice. I was told to call back at 5 pm. I did and they told me never to come back in again. I was not interested in fighting a wrongful termination suit. I just wanted unemployement and my Cobra too. Well, they fought the unemployment. I appealed and there was a short hearing in front of an arbitor within 45 days. I won the unemployment for termination without justification (there was no supporting documentation in my file they could produce to justify termination - they said one guy did not like me). But, because I got pissed they fought unemployment and acted ignorant in keeping the violent person who was a risk to anyone who crossed him and dumped me (a model employee), I filed my own wrongful termination suit (yes you can do it without an attorney) with information I gleened from the library, my state law site and getting the paperwork myself. Now, it never went to trial, I settled. I got enough to pay my cobra for 18 months plus "loss of income (they do it for up to 3 years in my state) due to termination". I had to take a job which paid less than I was making, so they had to pay me 3 years worth of the difference between my wage with them and the new wage I was making (several dollars per hour as I went from supervisory position to a clerical to keep food on table - single mom I had to get a job, no matter what) which was a nice chunk of change. I did it all for the filing fee and no attorney. I am not saying it would work in your case, or that you have a case. But, you may want to check on line into your state laws and find out what redress employees have against such actions. You may find that you can do anything you want without an attorney if you read enough and can manage the paperwork yourself.

Good luck and keep moving forward! God bless you and your family in your time of need too!

Christine

willfulone
08-12-2008, 06:33 AM
Hi, Terri, I'm thinking good thoughts for The Dorkstress and family!

Did he cash it ALL out? Do you NEED it all to survive right now? You probably need a real CPA's advice here, but I'm thinking when you cash it out it gets taxed as income (it gets taxed as something, I'm sure of that), and that's in addition to the income you've had so far this year (I suppose a lot depends, but I'm thinking generally the more income you have in a calendar year, the higher the percentage of it that goes to taxes). I'm thinking you should at most only take out the amount you'll need for the rest of this year, to help reduce your taxes for this year. Even if you've already taken out more than you'd need for the rest of the year, you might find a CPA in a hurry and ask if any of it could possibly be undone, presuming it would be helpful. And of course if when hubby does get a job soon, what's still left in the savings plan won't get taxed.

I know you're more in survival mode right now, but it can still be helpful to think of the long run as well.

You are spot on regarding taxation and penalties. I know there is a hefty penatly for taking 401k income out before you are the right age and some funds allow loans to be taken against 401k to prevent some of this and allow access to those funds for emergency reasons. I did so (took mine) when I left the employer I mention in my post above. It was 3,400 only. I was stoopid, and nervous as a single mom about feeding my kid, not knowing when I would work again. When it came to tax time I got a 22% penalty from the state or federal government on top of the huge taxation by both. I lost near half the money I took out. One has so many days/weeks/months (30-60-90 days?) to roll over 401k investments (IRAs count) before they are considered your income. Many funds allow you to leave the money with them even if you are fired from an employer.

She may still have time. Hopefully she does, or she can invest the left over, unused into an IRA or some such, to thwart further penalties. I am not sure how it works. It has been several years. But, I know when I got the letter with the penalty information I near dropped another child right there (and I was not preggars).

But, ya gotta eat...and ya gotta have a roof...

Hopefully it will all work out.

Christine

JoNightshade
08-12-2008, 07:19 AM
Hi terri - just wanted to let you know I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Elaine Margarett
08-12-2008, 03:22 PM
I'm with Christine; if there is anyway for you to not touch your 401k, don't!

We accessed my husband's 401k prematurely and taxes and penalities left us with less than half. I thought a job loss and and the possiblity of foreclosure would qualify as an emergency and the penalty would be waived; nope.

Borrowing against it (if possible) would be the better way to go.

How did your husband's interview with unemployment go?

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this right now. Have faith that this is merely a large bump in the road and you and your family will come through this. You're in my prayers.

EM

Rolling Thunder
08-12-2008, 03:42 PM
Has your husband given self-employment a try, Terri? It's a bit tough to get started but a small ad in the local paper for a few weeks would be a start. Have him go to the local Home Depot or Lowes and look at the installation fees they charge. He can sign up to be a preferred contractor if he prefers or just compete head-to-head with them, even if he charges a little more for a more personalized service. For instance, the labor rate here for r/r (removing and replacing) is $475. If he can manage to get two jobs a week with a partner to help do the work that's still good money. Smaller jobs that he can do himself, like replacing an steel exterior door or storm door are great money makers, too.

There's an unfulfilled need out there for handyman services, even in a bad economy. Just make sure you put money aside for the taxes, keep good records and at least have a minimum liability policy.

writerterri
08-12-2008, 11:23 PM
We didn't get it. Credit discrepancy. They got 50 bucks of ours!

The 401k wasn't that big, we only have had it in place for a little over 18 months. It's only enough to live on for about 4 months. We already paid the taxes and penalty before we got it. We didn't have much of a choice.

Unemployment will kick in 45 days after he gets his severence pay next week.

Self employment is a plan in the near future. It's just a kick in the ask getting it going.

I'm at a loss.

I'll be back in later...

III
08-12-2008, 11:26 PM
:Hug2: Hugs and prayers for the royal dork family.

Pagey's_Girl
08-13-2008, 04:29 AM
Sending more hugs and good wishes (and bumping this back to page 1)

louisgodwin
08-13-2008, 09:48 AM
Sending good vibes your way, Terri! Stay strong.

Shwebb
08-14-2008, 06:24 AM
Her Dorky Dorkness,

You just got added to another prayer list, dear.

Take a hug for you and give one from my family to each one of yours.

:Hug2::Hug2::Hug2::Hug2::Hug2:

writerterri
08-19-2008, 12:29 AM
Okay, I started my period and things stopped looking like they were under a magnifying glass.

We finally found a place to live and we qualified for the move in rate of 399.00.

What?

That never happens!

My kids start school next week too! Wow, I can't wait. :D My head is spinning from all their energy. I think they've drained my brain. Can you tell from all the broken up sentences?

Thanks for being there for me! I love you all!

Kisses for all dorks!

*smooch*

JLCwrites
08-19-2008, 12:32 AM
:hooray:

Elaine Margarett
08-19-2008, 12:38 AM
Congratulations on finding a place!!

And congratulations on your period, too. ;-)

sassandgroove
08-19-2008, 12:39 AM
thanks for the update. I hope and pray it is the first of many good things.

writerterri
08-22-2008, 12:58 AM
Thanks Sassypants, TL and EM! I'm just getting over a brief flu. I needed the rest after all that hooplah.

Geestinkin'whiz! life can get rough.

But you guys really got me through.


Hugs!

Unique
08-23-2008, 04:15 PM
terri werri - you big dork

Feel better soon ....

Or Ellis!