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maestrowork
08-09-2008, 03:42 PM
A P&CE thread prompted me to ask this -- whether you consider a spouse or yourself cheating... or is there a difference (for example, some people don't think they're cheating if they kiss someone else, but it's cheating if their spouse does the same).

You can pick multiple answers, of course.

astonwest
08-09-2008, 03:46 PM
I kiss my grandmother on the cheek, and it's not cheating... :)

I'd consider cheating to be performing any intimate act I'd do with my wife, with someone else.

My wife knows there are basically two things which will get her kicked out the door. Cheating is one. The other is pulling money out of our bank accounts (without permission) to gamble.

Tink
08-09-2008, 04:01 PM
You give us too many choices. How can I possibly choose between eggplants and Orlando Bloom? :D

nerds
08-09-2008, 04:17 PM
I voted Eggplants - surely they're up to something what with being so voluptuous and shiny and all.


In seriousness, since it's an intriguing question, I would think there's probably a really wide range of personal definitions. I would consider any degree of physical sexual encounter to be cheating, but Jimmy Carter's "lusting in his heart" to me is not cheating. I suppose too if a depth of emotional engagement took place which subsumed that of the relationship, even if it's absent of the sexual, that might fall into a "cheating" category for me. In other words, if someone is sharing much more of themselves with another than with me. If that's happening then I don't see much point in the relationship and would disengage from it.

Mandy-Jane
08-09-2008, 04:32 PM
I don't know that I'd consider the emotional relationship cheating. To me, cheating is primarily a physical thing. We all react and relate to different people around us in different ways. I may have certain emotional feelings for a man or men I know, but it still isn't cheating unless I go and act on those feelings.

That's not to disagree with nerds. If it was a relationship where a lot of things were being shared, that could be different. It's all about levels of emotion.

nerds
08-09-2008, 04:45 PM
. . .
That's not to disagree with nerds. If it was a relationship where a lot of things were being shared, that could be different. It's all about levels of emotion.


LOL, you can disagree. I think everyone will have their own definitions, which should make for an interesting thread response.

Then there are people who are bound by parameters of various faiths, experiences with cheating, or have themselves cheated. Two close friends of mine saved their marriage after a devastating bout of affairs on the husband's part, and they would offer their own frameworks for what constitutes cheating if they were here. The wife didn't feel truly cheated on until the husband began feeling emotionally entwined with one of his flings.

Everybody's got their own threshold, too, of what they can take and deal with.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-09-2008, 04:59 PM
I didn't include kissing someone else or eggplant or Orlando Bloom.

Now... that said... if the kissing involved Orlando Bloom and eggplants - his and/or mine - were involved, I might have to change my answer.

Appalachian Writer
08-09-2008, 05:18 PM
I would define cheating as having romantic (not necessarily lustful) thoughts about someone other than your spouse and acting on them, to include an emotional relationship without actually having intercourse, kissing in a romantic way, sexual contact in any form no matter whether it was once or a hundred times. I would think that very few of us are immune from the occasional lustful thought, but thinking "I bet he/she's good in bed" is a little different than desiring to be close to someone else, seeking their company, and then maybe if the occasion arises, engaging in all out adultery.

oswann
08-09-2008, 06:04 PM
In France having affairs is just about the national sport. As a comedian said over here "Sleeping with someone else once isn't cheating, it's comparing."


Os.

brokenfingers
08-09-2008, 06:22 PM
If they do it more than three times, they're definitely cheating.


Also, and I know some might argue against this, but in my book, looking at the answers ahead of time constitutes cheating also.

oswann
08-09-2008, 06:24 PM
If they do it more than three times, they're definitely cheating.


More than three times is a long term relationship.


Os.

brokenfingers
08-09-2008, 06:27 PM
Counting cards is also considered cheating.

Seaclusion
08-09-2008, 06:30 PM
It's cheating if you do something without your partner present that you wouldn't do if they were present.

Richard

SpookyWriter
08-09-2008, 06:32 PM
It's cheating if you do something without your partner present that you wouldn't do if they were present.

RichardTaking out the trash without being asked isn't cheating.

Seaclusion
08-09-2008, 06:32 PM
Counting cards is also considered cheating.

Counting cards is only using all the information present during the game that everyone (including the house) can have if they paid attention to the cards.

If you play poker, you damn well better count what cards are on the table. And if you don't I have a game stating later today that you can join in.

Richard

Seaclusion
08-09-2008, 06:33 PM
Taking out the trash without being asked isn't cheating.


Depends on where you're taking that trash and who she is.

Richard

Lyra Jean
08-09-2008, 06:35 PM
I have guy friends. He has friends that are women. This does not bother him or me as long as our friends do not come before each other. Then there is a problem.

Emotional cheating is still cheating to me. Of course, I hold myself to the same standards as I hold Mr. Rosemerry too. So none of that he can't do it but I can crap.

Shadow_Ferret
08-09-2008, 06:52 PM
I think the emotional relationship needs to be defined better. Being close friends is an emotional relationship, but I wouldn't consider it cheating.

And kissing can be strictly platonic.

And of course, friends with benefits isn't cheating either. :D

misslissy
08-09-2008, 07:27 PM
I voted kissing as one of my options, but I mean, in my opinion, it obviously depends on the type of kissing. There's a huge difference between a peck on the cheek and you know, playing tonsil hockey with your tongue shoved down somebody's throat.

Lyra Jean
08-09-2008, 07:41 PM
I voted kissing as one of my options, but I mean, in my opinion, it obviously depends on the type of kissing. There's a huge difference between a peck on the cheek and you know, playing tonsil hockey with your tongue shoved down somebody's throat.

Totally agree.

willfulone
08-09-2008, 08:53 PM
Does cheating start with the physical stuff? If one is emotionally withdrawing already and thinking about cheating, then the cheating starts there, doesn't it? If you can betray your partner in your thoughts and then move on to follow through, is that original betrayal thought enough to constitute cheating?

In my opinion, yes. But, understand, I am NOT refering to looking at a beautiful member of the opposite sex and thinking "I'd like to eat crackers in bed with THAT one." Or any such similar thing.

I am talking about the emotional withdrawl one must make before allowing one to follow through on such a thought. Having dirty thoughts is not cheating, but actually thinking/believing/acting on carrying them out leads one to that fine line, in my view.

I speak from my experience of having been cheated on (in a marriage) and feeling that the sex part did not hurt me as much as the thought that emotional connection was gone.

My thoughts/opinions, such as they are.

Christine

Seaclusion
08-09-2008, 09:21 PM
Maestro, you're so accomodating.

Richard

maestrowork
08-09-2008, 09:26 PM
p.s. There's no right or wrong answers. Everyone has their own definitions and comfort levels, etc. That's why we have an anonymous poll.

rhymegirl
08-09-2008, 09:49 PM
p.s. There's no right or wrong answers. Everyone has their own definitions and comfort levels, etc. That's why we have an anonymous poll.

And have YOU given us your opinion on this topic, Raymond???

jennifer75
08-09-2008, 10:10 PM
All of the above. Except Orlando Bloom. But watch out for those whorish little eggplants...

James81
08-09-2008, 10:31 PM
All of the above.

jannawrites
08-09-2008, 10:35 PM
Mmm... eggplant...

robeiae
08-09-2008, 10:36 PM
It's cheating if you do something without your partner present that you wouldn't do if they were present.

Richard


Ditto
Masturbating is cheating?


I think it will vary from person to person. For me, a physical and/or intimate emotional relationship with another person would constitute cheating. When I say "intimate emotional relationship," I mean one that exists only in private and consists of "pillow talk" and the like. I would see it as a precursor to the physical. Certainly, have very close friends of the opposite sex is not cheating, imo. I probably wouldn't like it, but it wouldn't be cheating.

maestrowork
08-09-2008, 10:53 PM
And have YOU given us your opinion on this topic, Raymond???

I concur with the trust issue, and it's between the parties involved. If two people have an open relationship, for example, then their rules and definitions are obviously different from others'. But the trust issue remains the same, within the confines of their agreements. So to me, it's a matter of personal choice and the agreements between those involved.

As for me personally -- without divulging too much I'd say there's probably a reason why I'm not married. And when I do get married, it won't be a conventional one. And it will take a very special someone to want to marry me. Let's leave it at that and move on.

However, one thing is a constant for me: emotional attachment. There has to be a strong emotional attachment no matter what, and if that is broken, or replaced by someone else, then I think the relationship would be over for me at that point. Everything else is secondary.

I have to say that some of my past relationship failures were never about the physical cheating, but the dissolve of that strong emotional attachment. It's the kiss of death for any relationship for me. For me, the physical stuff is only a symptom of the emotional stuff. And sometimes getting the "sex" out of that equation is rather liberating for a relationship; in fact, I think people place TOO MUCH emphasis on the "sex" stuff. I think the emotional stuff is far more damaging and devastating.

Ageless Stranger
08-10-2008, 12:48 AM
For me it's the whole package. For me the emotional stuff and the physical stuff are of equal importance. It is, as some have said, about trust. I've always made it clear with my fiancee that I'm devoted to her and her alone, and if she wasn't prepared to be the same, then is wasn't fair for either of us to stay together. Fortunately she concurred. If she hadn't, no matter how much I care about her or love her, she'd be gone.

But then again, I am inverted.

Beach Bunny
08-10-2008, 01:16 AM
However, one thing is a constant for me: emotional attachment. There has to be a strong emotional attachment no matter what, and if that is broken, or replaced by someone else, then I think the relationship would be over for me at that point. Everything else is secondary.

I have to say that some of my past relationship failures were never about the physical cheating, but the dissolve of that strong emotional attachment. It's the kiss of death for any relationship for me. For me, the physical stuff is only a symptom of the emotional stuff. And sometimes getting the "sex" out of that equation is rather liberating for a relationship; in fact, I think people place TOO MUCH emphasis on the "sex" stuff. I think the emotional stuff is far more damaging and devastating.

I agree. Many years ago, I kicked my ex to the curb because he would become emotionally attached to other women and then treat me like dirt. I always knew when he was emotionally involved with someone else by the way he treated me. He claimed he wasn't cheating, because he didn't have sex with them. While that may be technically true, periodically treating me like the Queen Bitch of Universe destroyed the marriage.

JLCwrites
08-10-2008, 02:37 AM
Actively pursuing someone other than your spouse. (with or without contact)

benbradley
08-10-2008, 03:25 AM
It's cheating if you do something without your partner present that you wouldn't do if they were present.

Richard
Then leering at the waitress is cheating? Uh oh...

Silver King
08-10-2008, 03:26 AM
Masturbating is cheating?
A friend of my wife's, who was recently divorced, confided in us that one of the reasons she left her husband was because he hadn't been physically intimate with her in a long while (a couple of years). She was positive he had never had an affair but offered this nugget:

"I tried everything to interest him, but he wouldn't touch me. Then I realized he was jerking off at night. I could hear him and feel the bed shaking. It was awful, like he was having an affair with himself."

I was dying to ask her if she had ever confronted him, but my wife gave me a look that meant I should keep my mouth shut.

Fraulein
08-10-2008, 03:57 AM
OK.I'll never comment in one of your threads again. :rolleyes:

Ol' 61
08-10-2008, 04:24 AM
It's interesting when public figures expose their human failings, isn't it? What I hate about it is that it puts a private matter in the public eye, for everyone to scrutinize, and I feel for both Mr. and Mrs. Edwards. This is their business. In answering this question, I am trying to think how I would feel if hubby came home and said, "There's something I have to tell you..."

I think it depends on your relationship. Some relationships are more "open" than others. Our relationship is pretty standard. He is not allowed to have sex with anyone other than me...and certainly NOT with Orlando Bloom!

I hope I never have to face this situation. Right now, if it was just once, I think I could forgive my husband if he strayed. Having never been in the situation, I truly don't know how I would react. Hmmm...maybe I should locate my Louisville Slugger....

Silver King
08-10-2008, 04:56 AM
It's interesting when public figures expose their human failings, isn't it? What I hate about it is that it puts a private matter in the public eye, for everyone to scrutinize, and I feel for both Mr. and Mrs. Edwards...
Yeah, that Edwards matter is a tough pill to swallow. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been running on a platform of "moral leadership."

Freaking scumbag. Like cheating on your spouse and lying about it in order to cover your ass are not part of the "moral" compass you've devised for yourself? Whatever. Sure, kudos to him for coming clean with his wife early on. But what about the rest of us, you know, everyone else who believed in him and every lie he uttered regarding the affair?

Screw him and the horse he rode in on. (No offense to the horse.)

orderandlaw
08-10-2008, 05:30 AM
I'd ask myself two questions:

1. Would I hide what I am doing from my significant other?

2. Would my significant other rightfully be hurt if he/she knew?

Mandy-Jane
08-10-2008, 05:51 AM
I'd ask myself two questions:

1. Would I hide what I am doing from my significant other?

2. Would my significant other rightfully be hurt if he/she knew?

Exactly!

czjaba
08-10-2008, 06:16 AM
Then leering at the waitress is cheating? Uh oh...

I seriously don't think so, especially when my hubby elbows me and shows me what he is leering at. :D

Unique
08-10-2008, 05:41 PM
It depends.

To me, cheating is if you broke an agreement.
And it varies from person to person.

Me, personally - ah.... never mind. I don't feel like TMI right now.

hi, ray!:hi:

Unique
08-10-2008, 05:45 PM
Yeah, that Edwards matter is a tough pill to swallow. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't been running on a platform of "moral leadership."

Freaking scumbag. Like cheating on your spouse and lying about it in order to cover your ass are not part of the "moral" compass you've devised for yourself? Whatever. Sure, kudos to him for coming clean with his wife early on. But what about the rest of us, you know, everyone else who believed in him and every lie he uttered regarding the affair?

Screw him and the horse he rode in on. (No offense to the horse.)

I disagree with you. He never claimed to be a saint. He's a man. And "moral" applies to much, much more than just sex.

Sex is just a 'thang'. I think people put too much emphasis on it. It's important. But seriously, folks.

I don't care if he had an affair - especially if he came clean with Elizabeth. She's a neat lady. It would bother me much, much more if here were robbing the country blind like that scumbag mayor up in Detroit.

My 2 cents. YMMV.

rhymegirl
08-10-2008, 07:35 PM
Here's something else to ponder. What do you think about this?

Hollywood actors and actresses who do love scenes (including naked love scenes) in movies and on TV. Some of the love scenes (in movies anyway) look awfully intense and as if the participants are truly enjoying their "work".

Some of these people have spouses. Is it cheating to kiss someone passionately for a movie role? Obviously, the actor or actress would just say, "I was just acting. It was in the script."

But...you still get to kiss someone you're not married to.

maestrowork
08-10-2008, 07:41 PM
A friend of my wife's, who was recently divorced, confided in us that one of the reasons she left her husband was because he hadn't been physically intimate with her in a long while (a couple of years). She was positive he had never had an affair but offered this nugget:

"I tried everything to interest him, but he wouldn't touch me. Then I realized he was jerking off at night. I could hear him and feel the bed shaking. It was awful, like he was having an affair with himself."


Again, to me, that's just a symptom of the emotional detachment. The real problem isn't whether he's not having sex with her or even having a sexual affair with someone else, but the connection between him and her. Seems like there are underlying issues and the lack of sex is just a symptom.

maestrowork
08-10-2008, 07:49 PM
I disagree with you. He never claimed to be a saint. He's a man. And "moral" applies to much, much more than just sex.

Sex is just a 'thang'. I think people put too much emphasis on it. It's important. But seriously, folks.

I don't care if he had an affair - especially if he came clean with Elizabeth. She's a neat lady. It would bother me much, much more if here were robbing the country blind like that scumbag mayor up in Detroit.

My 2 cents. YMMV.

I agree with you. OK, so he did portray his marriage as strong and good, but I can't tell if they have problems even if he cheated. Like someone said, people could come out of such situations stronger and more committed to their marriage... and since he was running for President, what else could he have said, that his marriage was on the rocks? Also, I don't remember him being on the high horse about sexual morals and faithfulness, etc. Not like how Larry Craig crusaded against gay rights and then secretly engaged in gay sex... I think if Edward had been on a high horse and condemning others, I would have felt differently because that would put him in the hypocrite column. But trying to portray himself as a happily married man is very different than being self-righteous about it.

That said, I'm still disappointed in him.

Anyway, there's a thread in PC&E about this, so I don't think we need to get into it here.

nerds
08-10-2008, 07:53 PM
Smack dab between my separation and final divorce decree it came to light that my husband had been having a VERY long-running affair with a friend of ours. I was the proverbial "last to know". We were divorcing for other reasons, but with that information I naturally could then see an underlying reason for some of the other reasons. Not all, but some. The emotional disconnect had been, for me, the most hurtful aspect of the long decline of our marriage.

When I thought about it I was pretty Meh about the sex part of their thing, though finding out after I'd already walked out on things and was moving on probably helped me to be as Meh as I was.

Anyway. The whole thing sucked.

maestrowork
08-10-2008, 07:56 PM
Hollywood actors and actresses who do love scenes (including naked love scenes) in movies and on TV. Some of the love scenes (in movies anyway) look awfully intense and as if the participants are truly enjoying their "work".


To me, it's a job. As an actor, I can tell you there's nothing going on when there are 200 people hovering over you with mikes and cables and cameras and you're naked/half-naked with hair and makeup people "touching you up" every time the camera is not rolling... Again, I think people place TOO much emphasis on the acts themselves instead of looking at the intention, etc. Same goes with stage actors who have to kiss and make out on stage in front of 500 people every night -- there's no hanky panky there. Doing love scenes is a very difficult aspect of being an actor -- even if you genuinely like your costars -- and I have respect for these actors.

It's their job to make you believe -- that their characters are having a great time. They wouldn't have been good actors if you're thinking "oh, it's just actors pretending..."

Now if the actors get carried away and fall in love for real (such as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jollie, for example), then they have crossed the line and again, depending on the situation, it can be cheating. But movie stars seem to be exempt for being scrutinized for some reasons. If a politician cheats, it's a scandal. But when Brad Pitt cheated and then ended up divorcing Jennifer Anniston and moved in with Angelina Jolie, the world rejoiced...

Ol' 61
08-10-2008, 08:06 PM
It would bother me much, much more if here were robbing the country blind like that scumbag mayor up in Detroit.

I live close enough to Detroit to feel it's important to follow this issue. It's laughable and sad at the same time--the guy just gets in deeper and deeper and pretty soon, they're going to start throwing dirt in the whole to cover up the entire debacle. Detroit deserves a better mayor. Especially now, with the economy the way it is.

The lying about the sex doesn't bother me. I think when confronted with wrong-doing, the natural impulse is to try to get out of trouble, whatever that trouble might be. Also (and I realize this is a sweeping generalization), men lie about sex. They lie when they get it, they lie when they don't. They lie about how often and how great it is. I'm sure there are some women out there who do the same thing. My dad used to say, "People are people. And that's the problem."

I wonder if Mrs. Clinton has approached Mrs. Edwards, or if she will? I think Mrs. Edwards can benefit from Mrs. Clinton's experience, frankly. I like Mrs. Edwards, and if she thinks it's worth it to stay with her husband and work this out, good for her.

Cecilia

Tocotin
08-10-2008, 08:07 PM
Now if the actors get carried away and fall in love for real (such as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jollie, for example), then they have crossed the line and again, depending on the situation, it can be cheating. But movie stars seem to exempt for being scrutinized for some reasons. If a politician cheat, it's a scandal. But when Brad Pitt cheated and then ended up divorcing Jennifer Anniston and moved in with Angelina Jolie, the world rejoiced...

Maybe that's because people expect to be entertained by actors no matter how, therefore just don't take their love affairs/tragedies seriously?

As to the poll, I don't know... there wasn't anything about lying. If I'm not lying, then I'm not cheating.

maestrowork
08-10-2008, 08:16 PM
And how about people who marry the person who cheated with them? For example, Julia Roberts' now-husband cheated on his then-wife with Roberts. Now they're married and have children together, but can Julia Roberts really trust her husband since he was a cheater? And what does she feel about being the "other woman" and now may have to fend off these "other women"? And the world seemed to have no problem with her being the other woman -- everyone was just happy that she finally found the man she loved...

Again, I think human relationship is a fascinating topic, and there are just so many grays...

willietheshakes
08-10-2008, 08:19 PM
Again, I think human relationship is a fascinating topic, and there are just so many grays...

And that, sir, is why we write.

Lyra Jean
08-10-2008, 08:30 PM
With the whole acting thing I think that's different. It's a job. It's like Ray said there are hundred of people around you. If an actor knows how to stay professional and detached then nothing can happen.

I don't really care about the actors personal lives. I just care if they are a good actor or not. So my information doesn't go beyond the cover of the magazine or what I hear other people say. So yeah I know cause I hear it all the time but I don't care. It's their personal life. I feel sorry for them that they get no privacy. Well, the ones seeking privacy and not getting it.

Mr Flibble
08-10-2008, 08:31 PM
And how about people who marry the person who cheated with them? I always wondered about that - I mean they cheated once, what's to stop them doing it again? Personal rule: never go out with guys who are attached, for just this reason if not for any other.

My Old Man says he thought a lot more of me when I refused to go on a date with him because I already had a boyfriend. Of course when I dumped said boyfriend ( for cheating) he was on my doorstep in under an hour :) If I'd agreed to the original date proposal, he wouldn't have bothered.

rhymegirl
08-10-2008, 08:37 PM
To me, it's a job.
It's their job to make you believe -- that their characters are having a great time. They wouldn't have been good actors if you're thinking "oh, it's just actors pretending..."

Okay, I understand what you're saying. And I agree that from the actor's perspective, it's just a job.

But what about the actor's spouse? Is it easy for the spouse to see his or her partner on screen kissing/rolling around in bed with another person?

Look at the scene between Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton in Monster's Ball. Some of these scenes are pretty intense. Would you want to see your partner doing these things with someone else?

Ol' 61
08-10-2008, 08:40 PM
A very long time ago, there was a guy who was married with two kids, who were adorable. He made it very clear to me that he wanted me to be his mistress, and he would get me an apartment and the whole works. And I, stupidly, considered it. Then...his two older kids from a previous marriage came to visit. The lights came on, and I thought, oh, I can't do this. I knew his wife, I liked her, and his kids were surprisingly great kids, and I just could not bring myself to do it to them. I was very young, and I wanted that apartment!!

Cecilia

maestrowork
08-10-2008, 08:45 PM
But what about the actor's spouse? Is it easy for the spouse to see his or her partner on screen kissing/rolling around in bed with another person?


No, it's not, especially if the spouse is not an actor. Some spouses refuse to see the movies, so they won't be upset. And some spouses insist on going on set to see them film the scenes, to make sure nothing happened. But some spouses (except the actors) know it's just a job and they're secure enough about their relationships to trust the other person....

So it depends. A lot has to do with what kind of person you are -- are you the jealous type? The untrusting type? What kind of person your spouse is -- do you trust him or her? Like I said, on-set romances do happen (Pitt and Jolie, for example). And actors are so good looking and charming -- sparks do fly sometimes, and flirtation is not uncommon. But as far as the actual "filming of the scene" is concerned, nothing could EVER happen with hundreds of people watching you. I think the more exposed to the art of filming, the more at ease the spouses could be...


Reminds me of the love scene in Atonement. It was hot. And you kind of wonder if James McAvoy and Keira Knightley really got it on. But the actors were just good friends. McAvoy is married, I think (could be wrong). But the way they filmed it, as I've read, was hilarious. Basically the director and the cinematographer (and the rest of the crew) were so close to them it was very uncomfortable, and then the director kept give them specific directions: put your hand there, place your mouth over her lips, move your finger half an inch from her face... the actors are like mannequins sometimes. And the whole scene may look sexy on screen, but it's nothing but in reality.

Mr Flibble
08-10-2008, 08:57 PM
I read somewhere that Johnny Depp goty a bit freaked out filming the Ninth Gate. He had to kiss the director's ( Polanski's) wife in one scene, and so he kissed her with her hubby ten inches away going 'No, kiss her harder! Like you mean it!'

astonwest
08-10-2008, 09:52 PM
"I tried everything to interest him, but he wouldn't touch me. Then I realized he was jerking off at night. I could hear him and feel the bed shaking. It was awful, like he was having an affair with himself."Personally, the strangest part of this story is that he was doing it in the bed with her right there...

ChimeraCreative
08-10-2008, 11:35 PM
Whatever you don't tell your spouse/partner you're doing, it's probably cheating, lol. If the relationship is open, honest, trusting (and willing to experiment), there is no cheating. http://smilies.vidahost.com/otn/wink/thumb.gif

-An

writerterri
08-11-2008, 12:13 AM
What do I consider cheating?


Calling up Ray and asking him to take off his chocolate pants.


But I haven't done it yet.



And this thread has been officially dorked. :D

writerterri
08-11-2008, 12:16 AM
[quote=robeiae;2637219]Masturbating is cheating?

Depends. Was I in your head or not?



:D

Unique
08-11-2008, 01:01 PM
Also, I don't remember him being on the high horse about sexual morals and faithfulness, etc. Not like how Larry Craig crusaded against gay rights and then secretly engaged in gay sex... I think if Edwards had been on a high horse and condemning others, I would have felt differently because that would put him in the hypocrite column.


Oh, I agree! Absolutely. I'm not close friends with them - but I'm down here - where they are - and have interacted with them both enough to *know* ....

That's why he did come clean with Elizabeth. BEFORE the media made it our business. (which I don't think it is) because they do truly love each other deeply.


Maybe that's because people expect to be entertained by actors no matter how, therefore just don't take their love affairs/tragedies seriously?

As to the poll, I don't know... there wasn't anything about lying. If I'm not lying, then I'm not cheating.

Works for me. Personally - I'd say something to my partner before I *cheated* or whatever. 'Hey, honey - I think we might be having a problem. Can you help me out here ....' Cuz that's how I am. I don't *want* to (whatever). I want my partner to make me (fill in the blank) enough not to have it ever cross my mind more than a flicker. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. YMMV


Okay, I understand what you're saying. And I agree that from the actor's perspective, it's just a job.

But what about the actor's spouse? Is it easy for the spouse to see his or her partner on screen kissing/rolling around in bed with another person?

Whoooeee!

Look at the scene between Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton in Monster's Ball. Some of these scenes are pretty intense. Would you want to see your partner doing these things with someone else?

You know - there didn't used to be *that kind of stuff* in movies and TV. It wasn't done. Ricky & Lucy slept in different beds for crying out loud. Maybe there was a reason. :Shrug:


Personally, the strangest part of this story is that he was doing it in the bed with her right there...

Yeah. That's just crass. Go in the bathroom, dude. She wasn't asleep. ;)


Masturbating is cheating?

[Depends. Was I in your head or not?
:D

I love you, dork. Heh.
Answers like that are one reason why.
:ROFL:

bluehawk
08-11-2008, 01:11 PM
Eggplant? As in, "sex with an eggplant?"

I've. . . n-never had sex with an eggplant. . . .

But I am curious now though. . . .