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View Full Version : Why do women "hover"? (toilet tales, gross alert!)



CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 06:30 PM
Subtitled: What are you afraid of?

There's a woman I work with (or maybe two) who, when she uses the toilet, does not actually sit on the seat when she pees, judging by the evidence left behind. Instead she "hovers" her lily-white arse at least an inch or two above it and appears to make circular hip motions to ensure the seat is fully covered in her lovely urine. She seems not to notice this and walks out without wiping it off.

Now, if I go into the toilet after Hover Woman (whoever she is) I'm treated to a bad case of wet butt unless I notice before I sit.

Why do women do this? How is it more hygienic for anyone?

ChaosTitan
08-06-2008, 06:33 PM
Some of us hover and manage to hit keep it off the seat.

StoryG27
08-06-2008, 06:36 PM
I thought everyone knew the golden rule of the restroom:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.


I've hovered before if the bathroom is really gross 'cuz I don't want my nekkidness touching the uckiness, however, I do adhere to the above rule. :D

jgold
08-06-2008, 06:39 PM
Ew. You are totally right.

I've worked in a bunch of different stores, and the women's restroom is ALWAYS grosser than the men's. Lots of women seem to be under the impression that sitting down equals other people's germs on their butts. At least the toilet gets bleached every day.

It's always the ones who are most worried about germs that make it unhygienic for the rest of us. Nasty.

CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 06:41 PM
I thought everyone knew the golden rule of the restroom:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.


I've hovered before if the bathroom is really gross 'cuz I don't want my nekkidness touching the uckiness, however, I do adhere to the above rule. :D
Well, sure, no one wants to get dirty from sitting on the seat. But this isn't a particularly public toilet. The only people who use it are my coworkers and it appears to be cleansed nightly.

But even so, you hoverers don't really believe you can get a disease from a toilet seat, right?

Nice poem, by the way.

Cranky
08-06-2008, 06:41 PM
That's so gross.

I've never understood why people can't check the seat after they're done doing their business. I refer you to the rule SG quotes above.

*shudders*

Shadow_Ferret
08-06-2008, 06:45 PM
Ick! Ick! I touched this thread!

*runs off to wash*

ChaosTitan
08-06-2008, 06:45 PM
But even so, you hoverers don't really believe you can get a disease from a toilet seat, right?


No, I don't. I think I do, because my mother did. I was always told to either put down toilet paper before sitting, or to squat above. So I did and still do. Because you're right--there's nothing grosser than "wet butt" and spending the rest of the day knowing I sat on someone else's pee.

Seaclusion
08-06-2008, 06:48 PM
You sure you don't have a guy using this bathroom and not lifting the seat.

Richard

melaniehoo
08-06-2008, 06:49 PM
I hover or sit depending on where I am. Bar/restaurant: hover. Friend's house/work: sit. I don't get the women who refuse to wipe the seat after themselves. It's like they think someone is going to clean it anyways, so why bother.

maestrowork
08-06-2008, 06:54 PM
What is REALLY gross is when people hover while doing #2, and they MISS. Then they just leave it as is.

Yup, I've seen that in the men's room multiple times. It's truly disgusting.

* This thread is icky *

p.s. I thought this thread is about women who hover and yelp around your shoulders while you watch ESPN...

Xyrventalagn
08-06-2008, 07:25 PM
Ugh, public/shared restrooms... The only one I've ever willingly used was the one at my last job, and that's only because it was a night shift job and I was almost guaranteed to have it to myself at any hour. I always hold it whenever I can, but I remember one comical experience I had in NYC:

I had just gotten off the train in Grand Central Terminal with a buddy of mine when we came to the conclusion that it might be wise to "freshen up" before venturing off into a city we knew little about. Deciding to bite the bullet rather than come upon a stomach ache whilst in a place like Chinatown, we headed downstairs to the public restroom and were amazed. First to grace our eyes were the two armed soldiers outside of the doorway--this alone nearly persuaded me to turn back, but I figured I would continue onwards. The next thing to greet me was an old, smelly bum holding a sign and cup just beyond the doorway. He wasn't there very long, however, as apparently the guards were there to escort him out.

Well, with all distractions gone, we made it into the primary room and thought for sure we had taken a wrong turn somewhere. With all of the people standing around chatting, I thought we might've stumbled into a restroom-themed club--people relaxing next to the urinals, lines building up outside of the "musical" stalls...I was surprised that no one was offering to dance. After that fiasco, I decided to drink and eat as little as possible for the rest of the trip.

Another trip: We were eating at a restaurant called "Houston's" in Manhattan and I again had to use the bathroom. This time, is was nice, tidy and small--but far from enough to save me from embarrassment. The guy in the urinal next to me finished just as I did, and so we both walked over to wash out hands at the same time. The sink was one of those knob-less ones--and a variety I had never used before. He starts the sink up before I do, and in my confusion I completely missed how he did it. So there I am, clapping, snapping and waving my hands next to the faucet and he's looking at me like I'm some sort of loony about to break into Jazz Hands. Luckily, his faucet kept running after he left and gave me a chance to take over. Ugh.

~X.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
08-06-2008, 07:32 PM
We aim to please.

You aim, too, please!

James81
08-06-2008, 07:34 PM
Instead she "hovers" her lily-white arse at least an inch or two above it and appears to make circular hip motions to ensure the seat is fully covered in her lovely urine.


The question on my mind is how you know this.

MoonWriter
08-06-2008, 07:44 PM
We aim to please.

You aim, too, please!

OFG, you stole my line. There's a sign in the old shack where we launch our boat, "We aim to keep the bathroom clean, your aim will help." Funny thing, from the looks of the toilet, more than a few people took their eyes off the target while reading the sign.

James - don't know how a woman could leave a seat covered in urine if she wasn't hovering. And yeah, to cover the entire seat, I'd say she'd have to make at least one revolution. But I bet her quads are in awesome shape.

JLCwrites
08-06-2008, 07:54 PM
Just throw some Cheerios into the toilet so she has something to aim at. (It works for preschool boys.)

NeuroFizz
08-06-2008, 07:58 PM
It's a bad time to do those Kegels.

joyce
08-06-2008, 08:00 PM
SICK ALERT**SICK ALERT**

The grocery store where I work had this lady come in last week and left a trail of poop from the Deli all the way to the bathroom. When the cleaning person had to come in and clean, there was poop all over the floor, walls, etc. etc. Evidently this woman did nothing to try and clean up any of her mess. Poop was everywhere! The poor guy cleaning up the mess was 17 and I felt so bad for him. He stated the men's bathroom never was as dirty as the womens. I as a woman have to agree. So many women using the restrooms are pigs! I can't help but wonder what do their bathrooms at home look like.

CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 08:06 PM
SICK ALERT**SICK ALERT**

The grocery store where I work had this lady come in last week and left a trail of poop from the Deli all the way to the bathroom. When the cleaning person had to come in and clean, there was poop all over the floor, walls, etc. etc. Evidently this woman did nothing to try and clean up any of her mess. Poop was everywhere! The poor guy cleaning up the mess was 17 and I felt so bad for him. He stated the men's bathroom never was as dirty as the womens. I as a woman have to agree. So many women using the restrooms are pigs! I can't help but wonder what do their bathrooms at home look like.
How, in the name of all that is sterile, does THAT happen? Was the woman not wearing CLOTHES?

joyce
08-06-2008, 08:11 PM
How, in the name of all that is sterile, does THAT happen? Was the woman not wearing CLOTHES?

According to the people in the deli, it was dripping out her pant legs, and was running like a free flowing brook as she calmly made her way to the bathroom. From their description, she was covered in it. The smell was horrible! I guess she was living the term "full of shit".:D

Ageless Stranger
08-06-2008, 08:13 PM
Your mouth is filled with more germs than your arse.
Fact.

nerds
08-06-2008, 08:25 PM
The thread title led me to think the question was about overweening, overbearing, whatcha doin' whatcha reading whatcha whatcha women.

As it is, lunch is now out of the question.

BenPanced
08-06-2008, 08:33 PM
The thread title led me to think the question was about overweening, overbearing, whatcha doin' whatcha reading whatcha whatcha women.

As it is, lunch is now out of the question.
So I guess this means I get to tell some stories about the porno shop I used to work at?

Hey! Where ya goin'?

Pagey's_Girl
08-06-2008, 09:18 PM
The thread title led me to think the question was about overweening, overbearing, whatcha doin' whatcha reading whatcha whatcha women.

As it is, lunch is now out of the question.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be a chance to vent about the coworker who's just sent three emails to my manager, copying me (he's in facilities, this is stuff she suddenly wants fixed) and any second now is going to be down here wondering why hasn't he called me do you know where he is where did he go what time did he leave did you get my emails can you tell him I sent him a bunch of emails are you gonna order me my stuff when it is gonna come in and oh did you check this place and that place and did you look up the street to see if they have it and when is it gonna be in and....

Sorry.

I have a couple of those type tales - one funny, one really, really gross. The funny one was one day when I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink when a toilet in the stall nearby flushed. I almost immediately heard "OH CRAP!" followed by a coworker grabbing my arm and pulling me with her, yelling "Look out, she's gonna blow!" We made it safely to the far side of the floor drain (so that's what that thing is for!) seconds before we were caught in the flood of the overflowing toilet. (The toilets in the bathroom clogged if you so much as looked at them funny. And yeah, actually, it was pretty funny.)

*WARNING - REALLY REALLY GROSS*
Once, where I used to work, I walked into the (very small - two stalls) women's room and found what looked like a murder scene - blood everywhere - all over the walls, the floor, the sink. I glimpsed a very well-used tampon in the middle of the floor as I fled to call Housekeeping. :eek:

dpaterso
08-06-2008, 09:19 PM
According to the people in the deli, it was dripping out her pant legs, and was running like a free flowing brook as she calmly made her way to the bathroom. From their description, she was covered in it. The smell was horrible! I guess she was living the term "full of shit".:D
Either a bad dose of the runs, incontinence, or a leaking or overflowing bag. No fun for anyone.

-Derek

quickWit
08-06-2008, 09:24 PM
You wimminz is so gross. :)

Cranky
08-06-2008, 09:33 PM
At least we don't scratch in places we shouldn't, and in public.

Ewww. Now THAT is also gross.

quickWit
08-06-2008, 09:36 PM
At least we don't scratch in places we shouldn't, and in public.

Ewww. Now THAT is also gross.

Oh yeah? $20 says you follow that poo soaked deli hanger around for 1 hour and she'll dispel that myth in a hurry.

SPMiller
08-06-2008, 09:36 PM
I keep hearing the women's restroom is worse than the men's, usually from people who have had to clean both.

I don't know. I'm just very very glad to have not had to clean bathrooms for a living.

Cranky
08-06-2008, 09:37 PM
Oh yeah? $20 says you follow that poo soaked deli hanger around for 1 hour and she'll dispel that myth in a hurry.


Oh, sure! Trot out that as an example of typical wimmenz? For shame, quicky.

quickWit
08-06-2008, 09:40 PM
Oh, sure! Trot out that as an example of typical wimmenz?

*In best Puddy voice*

Yeah that's right. :D

http://www.geocities.com/vandelay_industries007/puddy_elaine.jpg

Cranky
08-06-2008, 09:46 PM
I keep hearing the women's restroom is worse than the men's, usually from people who have had to clean both.

I don't know. I'm just very very glad to have not had to clean bathrooms for a living.

I've had to as part of one of my jobs. It was neck and neck as to which room was more disgusting. Depended on the night, I think.

Still. Ugh.

sassandgroove
08-06-2008, 09:51 PM
I don't understand hovering either. For one thing, I can't. I can rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time, but I can't concentrate on hovering and relax enough to pee at the same time. But if women didn't hover, no one would need to.

CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 09:55 PM
I don't understand hovering either. For one thing, I can't. I can rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time, but I can't concentrate on hovering and relax enough to pee at the same time. But if women didn't hover, no one would need to.
How insightful. I completely agree!

akiwiguy
08-06-2008, 10:18 PM
According to the people in the deli, it was dripping out her pant legs, and was running like a free flowing brook as she calmly made her way to the bathroom. From their description, she was covered in it. The smell was horrible! I guess she was living the term "full of shit".:D

She should maybe invest in some of these...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QETZxWAqSvQ

Pagey's_Girl
08-06-2008, 10:29 PM
I don't understand hovering either. For one thing, I can't. I can rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time, but I can't concentrate on hovering and relax enough to pee at the same time. But if women didn't hover, no one would need to.

Amen to that.

Of course, when I was a receptionist some years ago, it always cracked me up when a guy would come out of the men's room and say to me, "Have you been in there lately? It's disgusting!"

Uh, nope, can't say I have, but I'll take your word for it.

jennifer75
08-06-2008, 10:30 PM
Subtitled: What are you afraid of?

There's a woman I work with (or maybe two) who, when she uses the toilet, does not actually sit on the seat when she pees, judging by the evidence left behind. Instead she "hovers" her lily-white arse at least an inch or two above it and appears to make circular hip motions to ensure the seat is fully covered in her lovely urine. She seems not to notice this and walks out without wiping it off.

Are you sure she's a she?

jennifer75
08-06-2008, 10:34 PM
Subtitled: What are you afraid of?

Why do women do this? How is it more hygienic for anyone?

Well, a toilet seat cover is adequate enough for me in my workplace restroom. If I'm in a public restroom in a fastfood place, I hover. No amount of seat covers will ease my mind as to what has possibly gone on in that stall before I entered.

Everywhere else, a seat cover or three is just fine for me. Oh, except for bars.....always hover.

Most women, I'd like to think, have hovering down to an art, leaving very little behind. And then there are the cows, ahem, I mean women who aren't as conscientious about hovering and leave it everywhere for the next to tidy up.

CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 10:34 PM
Just because your mama told you to hover doesn't mean you should continue the practise. Remember that your mother's from the old wives' tale school of information, you know, back when if you made that face it would stick that way. Or if you did too much of THAT you'd go deaf and your palm would get hairy.

Fraulein
08-06-2008, 10:35 PM
Where are the toilet seat liners when you need them? :Shrug:

Fraulein
08-06-2008, 10:37 PM
Are people afraid of crabs? That's the only thing that would make any sense to me.

BenPanced
08-06-2008, 10:40 PM
Just because your mama told you to hover doesn't mean you should continue the practise. Remember that your mother's from the old wives' tale school of information, you know, back when if you made that face it would stick that way. Or if you did too much of THAT you'd go deaf and your palm would get hairy.
I'm already wearing glasses, so that should tell you something about me...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075801/

CaroGirl
08-06-2008, 10:40 PM
But I'm still in the dark as to WHY? What do you think will happen if you sit down? Why not just wipe the seat with a bit of paper if it looks dodgy? No germ will ever make its merry way from the seat, across your buttock, and up into your hoo-hoo to cause some nebulous but unmentionable disease. Just doesn't happen. From a toilet seat you can catch...well, exactly nothing.

Beside, to hover I have to put my HANDS on the seat. The hands I eat and pick my schnozz with. No thank you. I'll stick my butt there any day, but my HANDS?

Fraulein
08-06-2008, 10:43 PM
Easy solution:

1) wipe seat upon arrival
2) line seat with toilet paper
3) sit down and relax
4) flush using toilet paper instead of bare hand to reduce exposure
5) wash hands
6) turn off water with paper towel or toilet paper
7) open door with paper towel or toilet paper
8) have a nice day

sassandgroove
08-06-2008, 11:45 PM
http://www.northshorecare.com/images/cottonelle.jpg
I carry some of these in a baggie in my purse, for - uh- personal reasons. (I actually buy the wal-mart brand but whatever). More than once I have used them to clean a questionable seat. They come in handy to if you need to clean your hands when you are out and about. I've been in bathrooms that didn't have soap, for instance.

rhymegirl
08-06-2008, 11:48 PM
I thought everyone knew the golden rule of the restroom:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

I thought it went like this: If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.

Anyways, my mother taught us to "hover." She said it was BAD to actually sit on the seat. At least in public restrooms.

auntybug
08-06-2008, 11:49 PM
When we did our road trip (driving from MN to PA) Every friggen bathroom was like that. At Hershey Park I hollered "MY KINGDOM FOR A SEAT WITHOUT PISS ON IT!!" I had had it by that point.

I didn't feel so bad when I heard 3 "Amen to that!!!" :D

sassandgroove
08-06-2008, 11:53 PM
I'm tellin' ya, wipeys are great.

maestrowork
08-06-2008, 11:57 PM
Sometimes it is good to be a man.

A while ago at a festival there were two women waiting in line to use the men's room. They didn't care that the guys were staring at them. They said, "There's no way I was going to use the women's room. It's gross." I thought, how can it be grosser than the men's room, which was pretty disgusting already (imagine 20,000 people going through the bathroom that night). Well, apparently I was wrong.

auntybug
08-06-2008, 11:58 PM
*snickers at "wipeys"* (you're a Mom ;) )

BTW - I have a cousin that is a pharmacist - she says you can't get anything from a seat unless there is a crack in it. There's a great outhouse joke about that...:D

For the record - I wipe, I line, I sit. feck the hovering. Sex is a good enough workout for these thighs ;)

PattiTheWicked
08-06-2008, 11:58 PM
These people are legion: Beware the Tinkler (http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/06/o.tinkler/index.html)

All I can say is that last Friday night I went to a concert at a local venue, and if I could have peed standing up, I sure as hell would have. The "toilet buses" are filthy within about 45 seconds of opening.

sassandgroove
08-07-2008, 12:03 AM
*snickers at "wipeys"* (you're a Mom ;) )

BTW - I have a cousin that is a pharmacist - she says you can't get anything from a seat unless there is a crack in it. There's a great outhouse joke about that...:D

For the record - I wipe, I line, I sit. feck the hovering. Sex is a good enough workout for these thighs ;)
I am not a mom unfortunately. I did teach preschool and baby sit in my younger days. I do tend to add 'ie' sound to things though and call items 'Thingie'. As in "Honey, I can't find the thingie."
"which thingie?" He says with patience.
"you know, the thingie for the sink?"
"Plunger?"
"Yeah, the plunger thingie."

jennifer75
08-07-2008, 12:25 AM
Easy solution:

7) open door with paper towel or toilet paper


I used to work with someone who would do this, only instead of throwing the paper towel in a trash can, she'd drop it in the hall. I swear. Always. Right there, in the hall. WTF? So germs are not good, but littering is ok?

sassandgroove
08-07-2008, 12:31 AM
My husband works for a medical lab and a at one of their 'meetings' they said to use papertowels to open bathroom doors, but the bathrooms have those blowdryer thingies not paper towels. DUH!

Pagey's_Girl
08-07-2008, 12:39 AM
Used to work in a building with a woman who would, so help me, scrub the seat before using it - but she wouldn't wash her hands afterwards. Even for #2.
Mind you, the bathroom was usually pretty clean in the building.

My favorite building I ever worked in had lettered aisles - and the bathrooms were, convienently enough, on the "P" aisle. I don't think it was a coincidence - they skipped a few letters along the way.

maestrowork
08-07-2008, 12:48 AM
Used to work in a building with a woman who would, so help me, scrub the seat before using it - but she wouldn't wash her hands afterwards. Even for #2.
Mind you, the bathroom was usually pretty clean in the building.


Some people are just neurotic about other people's germs, but they don't seem to mind their own, and they don't seem to care about other people getting their germs.

I agree with the "put toilet paper on seat, use, flush, have a nice day" camp. Nothing to stress about. And wash your hands!

Neurotic
08-07-2008, 03:48 AM
Years ago, the place where I worked had a carefully laminated letter in each of the 5 stalls in our staff toilet. I don't remember the exact wording of all of it but it opened with "To the person who stands on top of the seat and squats." Apparently the urine and the footprints gave them away.

rhymegirl
08-07-2008, 04:35 AM
Sometimes it is good to be a man.

A while ago at a festival there were two women waiting in line to use the men's room. They didn't care that the guys were staring at them. They said, "There's no way I was going to use the women's room. It's gross." I thought, how can it be grosser than the men's room, which was pretty disgusting already (imagine 20,000 people going through the bathroom that night). Well, apparently I was wrong.

I don't know if the women's rest room is grosser, but I can tell you that the line is ALWAYS longer.

Recently I went to see a musical. A fairly long show. At intermission I thought I had moved fast enough to get to the rest room ahead of the crowd. No such luck. The line twisted way around the corner and down the hallway! As other women went to get in line they said, "Where is the end of the line? Oh my God, what a long line!"

Yup. I seriously considered using the Men's room.

CaroGirl
08-07-2008, 04:54 AM
I don't know if the women's rest room is grosser, but I can tell you that the line is ALWAYS longer.

Recently I went to see a musical. A fairly long show. At intermission I thought I had moved fast enough to get to the rest room ahead of the crowd. No such luck. The line twisted way around the corner and down the hallway! As other women went to get in line they said, "Where is the end of the line? Oh my God, what a long line!"

Yup. I seriously considered using the Men's room.
That's because, instead of just sitting, peeing and getting out of there, these women are wiping the seat, setting down squares of toilet paper, squatting, hovering, flushing, rewiping...

tjwriter
08-07-2008, 05:00 AM
That's because, instead of just sitting, peeing and getting out of there, these women are wiping the seat, setting down squares of toilet paper, squatting, hovering, flushing, rewiping...

LOL!

Urine, in and of itself, is relatively sterile. From everything I've read, it's actually not that easy to catch something from the toilet. However, plopping down in somepone's urine is just gross.

And when I worked at Denny's on the night shift, the drunk guys that couldn't shoot straight made a far nastier bathroom than the ladies. There for a while, I'd get the pleasure of deck scrubbing the bathrooms. The men's room always stunk to high heaven.

maestrowork
08-07-2008, 05:01 AM
Anyone wants some Mountain Dew?

JoNightshade
08-07-2008, 05:08 AM
::Raises hand:: I'm a hoverer! And I don't sprinkle, either, I get it in the bowl. Not only that, but if I have to go poo, and there's no toilet seat cover, I climb on top of the seat and squat.

You know, this whole problem would be solved if we just switched to squatties.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/hannahinjapan/SquattyPotty.jpg

Clair Dickson
08-07-2008, 05:11 AM
Apparently since women use the restroom more, that's why it's supposed to be germier. But at the retail store where Hubby and I work(ed), the men's "employee" restroom was always vile. He had to go into the women's room once to unlock a door locked from the inside, and he was both astounded and horribly jealous of the condition. It's not perfect, but the worst we usually get back there are unflushed #2. Usually very loose #2...

Apparently a big problem in our female retail restrooms up front (though sometimes int eh hidden "employee" restrooms... not just for us, but most people don't know they're back there, anyway) women will have some trouble with the bowels, and they'll take of their underwear and put it into the toilet (why they dont' put it into the perfectly good, almost always empty metal feminine hygiene disposal canisters, I don't know). When these toilets are flushed with panties, they often clog. And sometimes, a second flush causes the clogged toilets to erupt... I felt so bad for the poor lady who had to clean them.

Did you know-- your computer keyboard, esp. at a workplace, has more living germs on it than a restroom toilet seat? Unles your a lysol-junkie, you should be hovering over the keyboard rather than the toilet seat! =)

rhymegirl
08-07-2008, 05:41 AM
That's because, instead of just sitting, peeing and getting out of there, these women are wiping the seat, setting down squares of toilet paper, squatting, hovering, flushing, rewiping...

Yup! That must be it.

Maybe there should be a sign in there. JUST PEE AND GET OUT!

nerds
08-07-2008, 06:07 AM
Maybe there should be a sign in there. JUST PEE AND GET OUT!


Maybe there should be signs which read GO HOME.

ErylRavenwell
08-07-2008, 10:07 AM
It's a fact. Women cannot aim even if their life depended on it. We, men, have to hit the target from a distance of 1 metre!

Pagey's_Girl
08-07-2008, 04:24 PM
It's a fact. Women cannot aim even if their life depended on it. We, men, have to hit the target from a distance of 1 metre!

That's nothing. I can nail a target dead center from thirty meters...

What? Whaddya mean, he's not talking about archery? then what is --- oh....

[Emily Littella] never mind.... [/Emily Littella]

sassandgroove
08-07-2008, 06:51 PM
::Raises hand:: I'm a hoverer! And I don't sprinkle, either, I get it in the bowl. Not only that, but if I have to go poo, and there's no toilet seat cover, I climb on top of the seat and squat.

You know, this whole problem would be solved if we just switched to squatties.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/hannahinjapan/SquattyPotty.jpgLike I said, I can't concentrate on holding myself up and pee at the same time. So no- I don't want one, thanks.




And more to the point, Carogirl didn't just talk about a hoverer in her post, she asked WHY women do that but I haven't really see anyone answer that beyound "mom told me too."
Why did mom tell you too, if nothing else.

CaroGirl
08-07-2008, 07:17 PM
Like I said, I can't concentrate on holding myself up and pee at the same time. So no- I don't want one, thanks.




And more to the point, Carogirl didn't just talk about a hoverer in her post, she asked WHY women do that but I haven't really see anyone answer that beyound "mom told me too."
Why did mom tell you too, if nothing else.
Exactly. My mum told me all kinds of stupid shit when I was growing up. Only put deodorant on if your underarms are clean. Never wear underwear to bed. Don't go outdoors with a wet head or you'll get pneumonia. Crossing your eyes will make them stick that way.

Heck, when I first got my period she bought me a BELT! (Older gals will know what that is.) If I listened to my good old mum, I'd still be hooking my pads through a damn belt.

So, why do you feel compelled to hover, especially over a public toilet seat that looks clean and dry?

maestrowork
08-07-2008, 07:27 PM
I grew up using "squatties." In fact, every toilet in Asia was a squattie (probably still is in many parts of Asia, now). HATED them. Disgusting and humiliating. And I can tell you some of the grossest stories involving the squattie toilets... but I'll spare you your lunch.

CaroGirl
08-07-2008, 07:33 PM
I grew up using "squatties." In fact, every toilet in Asia was a squattie (probably still is in many parts of Asia, now). HATED them. Disgusting and humiliating. And I can tell you some of the grossest stories involving the squattie toilets... but I'll spare you your lunch.
How glad am I now to live in the land of the Flush Toilet!!

sassandgroove
08-07-2008, 07:35 PM
The SIT DOWN flush toilet.

JimmyB27
08-07-2008, 08:16 PM
After reading this thread, all I can think of is - 'I want to learn how to hover too!'



In the toilets at work, we have these little dispensers of disinfectant in each cubicle, so you can clean the seat before use.

Gravity
08-07-2008, 09:46 PM
You know...before reading these three pages, I was all set to enjoy a nice tall glass of lemonade.

I won't now. :flag:

sassandgroove
08-07-2008, 09:57 PM
What? WHY?
http://www.recipetips.com/images/glossary/l/lemonade.jpg








Tee Hee.

ChaosTitan
08-08-2008, 12:05 AM
Never wear underwear to bed.

???Why in heaven's name would you not wear underwear to bed????


Don't go outdoors with a wet head or you'll get pneumonia.

You mean that's not why I got pneumonia when I was eleven? :ROFL:


So, why do you feel compelled to hover, especially over a public toilet seat that looks clean and dry?

Quite frankly (and beyond the Mom thing), I don't like putting my bare butt where a hundred other women have planted their bare butt. Sorry, but no.

sassandgroove
08-08-2008, 12:14 AM
???Why in heaven's name would you not wear underwear to bed????
.
*Raises hand like Hermione Granger in class*
I know I know!!!

Supposedly it helps the area to - uh - breath. So as to help prevent yeast infections and such.

joyce
08-08-2008, 12:53 AM
Like I said, I can't concentrate on holding myself up and pee at the same time. So no- I don't want one, thanks.




And more to the point, Carogirl didn't just talk about a hoverer in her post, she asked WHY women do that but I haven't really see anyone answer that beyound "mom told me too."
Why did mom tell you too, if nothing else.

I'm not a hoverer either. I can't pee if I'm concentrating on holding my body up in a Ringling Brother move. When I did, it was truly because of everything my mother told me not to do when I was young. Of course she told me I could get crabs, lice, scabies and every other disease known to mankind if I sat my bare bottom on that seat.

She also said, I'd lose my eyesight if I read in a dark room, wearing tampons made you lose your virginity, never shave your legs above your knees or it would grow in like a man's beard and number one.....always make sure you wear clean, unstained underwear in case you got into a wreck. I mean, who in the heck will be checking the crotch of my drawers if I'm near death and who would care? Not me.:D

CaroGirl
08-08-2008, 12:54 AM
???Why in heaven's name would you not wear underwear to bed????
Yeah, what she said.


Quite frankly (and beyond the Mom thing), I don't like putting my bare butt where a hundred other women have planted their bare butt. Sorry, but no.
Fair enough, my friend, fair enough.

I'm not so squeamish about where I place my bottom, I guess.

Shadow_Ferret
08-08-2008, 01:13 AM
I'm not listening!

*puts hands over ears*

LALALALALALALALALA!

maestrowork
08-08-2008, 01:49 AM
Have some chocolate, too.

http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/images/2007/11/20/r3842927337.jpg

nerds
08-08-2008, 01:56 AM
o.k., this calls for retaliation




where soft-serv ice cream really comes from


http://www.flushtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/snowman-poop.jpeg

Unique
08-08-2008, 02:35 AM
Well, I might "hover" sometimes but I'll tell ya. I won't leave a 'wet spot' for the next person; I mean Golly Gee! The paper's hanging right there! (Usually) :D

It's rudeness and bad manners and all kinds of other "words" not to clean up after yourself.

A lot of times when I was a little girl, my momma told me not to 'sit on the seat' but now that I'm older and I know my biology - it does seem like it would be difficult to "catch" anything (even crabs) unless you were humping the seat.

But on second thought ... knowing how many weirdoes are out there....maybe they did.

ew. I knew I shouldn't have come in here. I knew it. I knew it. Now I gotta use brain bleach.

Gravity
08-08-2008, 02:46 AM
Back in my rowdy college days there was a biker bar in town that had the best grilled burgers (not to mention the best fights): Ernest's Cozy Corner, or the locals called it, Dirty Ernie's. It was almost perfect in its nastiness, not the least of which were the johns (use your imaginations; you're writers for cryin' out loud).

Graffiti was rife in there (as were a lot of things), but one of the best stands out. Some wit had scrawled on the wall right above the crapper (yeah, there was just one): Please don't throw your toothpicks in the toilet. Crabs are expert pole-vaulters. Ah, memories...

rhymegirl
08-08-2008, 03:13 AM
it does seem like it would be difficult to "catch" anything (even crabs) unless you were humping the seat.

Oh God that's funny. Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

Write4U2
08-08-2008, 06:36 AM
Awww...man...http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u122/scooter2_photos/Moon_Emoticon.gif

I never sit on the seat in a public restroom. After many years of practice (a-hem) I'm a sure shot - right inside the middle of the ring - and I can balance my tootsies on a gnat.:D

If I have to sit, I line the seat with paper or those paper thingys if they're provided.

Pants to bed? Couldn't sleep without 'em.http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u122/scooter2_photos/offtobed.gif

nerds
08-08-2008, 07:00 AM
???Why in heaven's name would you not wear underwear to bed????


I haven't worn skivvies to bed since I was nine, I think. Eight maybe. Egads, gotta wear clothes and undies all damn day, the last thing I want is more elastic, more fabric, more constraints all night long too. I want freedom from all that for eight hours. Usually I wear nothing to sleep, or loose jammies at most.