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MoonWriter
08-04-2008, 07:53 PM
I experienced one today.

Shortly after 1:00 am, Ginger, my loving golden retriever and matriarch of the herd, lost her battle with cancer. I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I couldn't breath. When my wife and son went to bed, I stumbled across the backyard to my office, where the sounds of my grief wouldn't keep my family awake. After the tears ran dry, I felt very alone. It was too late to call my sisters or brother, so I decided to check in with my AW family.

As seen from my post total, I don't contribute very much. I'm still learning from others. But for nearly every post, I've received a rep from Susie. And early this morning, when I felt all alone, I had a random rep from her, telling me hi and hoping all was well. I smiled. I then repped her and let her know all wasn't well. Having someone to share my grief with at that moment really helped, and that's why Susie's smilie has wings. Thanks, Susie.

I don't normally post about my problems, but I thought I'd share how a random act of kindness helped to ease my pain.

Share your experience with random acts of kindness - those given and those received.

BTW - Ginger is still in the dining room. She's covered and her head is resting on a small pillow. I've buried too many pets. The last one, Redd, my male golden, nearly killed me. I can't force myself to put Ginger in a hole. Prayers for strength, please.

Maryn
08-04-2008, 08:26 PM
Moon, Susie's like a god around here, for being among the kindest, most caring people any of us has ever met.

If you lived in my city, I'd be over to take proper care of Ginger, treating her with the loving respect a good pet deserves. I've put too many beloved animals in the ground, too, so doing it for someone else would be almost as kind as Susie is every day.

I hope you'll tell us more about Ginger and what made her special, when the time is right.

Maryn, teary in your behalf

Susie
08-04-2008, 08:35 PM
I am so touched by your beautiful posts, Moon and Maryn. You're both terrific and I have tears of sadness because of Moon's special pet, Ginger. I also have happy tears in my eyes for the so kind words you have written about me. It means the most to me. You're all more of a family to me than my own. Howie feels the same and we thank you so much! Our hearts go out to you Moon, and your family and know you can write to me anytime. I'm here for you. :Hug2:

I have had so many kindnesses extended to me on AW that it is too emotional for me to write about them, but know that my heart feels blessed because of my special family here and how warm and kind everyone is. Thank you all so very much!

qwerty
08-04-2008, 08:48 PM
Apart from being moved by your post, and knowing Susie is there for people, I want to say something to you, Moon.

You have to bury Ginger. Putting it off is not going to help.

Believe me, I know how much this hurts.

Thoughts are with you and the family.

qwerty

tiny
08-04-2008, 08:57 PM
I'm so sorry Moon. Every time I lose a pet I swear I'll never have another because the grief is so hard to take. Take care, it will get better. Bury your Ginger knowing you gave her a great life.

And yes, Susie is the absolute best. She's always right there when you least expect it and exactly when you seem to need it. It's like she can sense when someone needs a little extra something.

Xyrventalagn
08-04-2008, 09:01 PM
I, too, have buried many a pet. It is never easy, but death is inevitable, and what more can you do than honor it by giving them a beautiful burial and ceremony? Their troubles are gone, their struggles are lifted and all that remains are the memories and bonds that you forged with love and care. Honor those memories whilst you dig, and look not towards the ebon clouds of the moment, but into the sunlight and long-enjoyed beauty beyond. You have one remaining chance to create one final moment together, do not waste it on sorrow--use this chance to calm yourself, let free your remaining words and wish your friend a fond farewell.


As for random acts of kindness, I have done several in my life--but so many I can no longer remember. I will, however, share with you the one that I can:

Once time, while at the movies, I was waiting for the gates to open and passed by the theater's small built-in arcade. I witnessed a man and his young daughter at one of those claw machines trying desperately to win a doll that the girl had her heart set on. Their attempts failed, and in disappointment they went off towards the line where which they would await the opening of their movie.

I'm not sure why, but that particular day I had change in my pocket and a brief moment to waste, so I tried for myself regardless how bad my luck usually is. In a single attempt, I--against all odds--won the doll and laughed at my own bizarre luck. I found the man and his daughter, gave them the doll (and they were very grateful) and with a kindly nod, went on my way.

~X.

MsK
08-04-2008, 09:38 PM
MoonWriter- So sorry to hear about your loved one, Ginger, passing. :Hug2:

Pagey's_Girl
08-04-2008, 09:41 PM
I'm so sorry about Ginger. :( I know only too well what you're going through.

Susie
08-04-2008, 09:45 PM
Thanks so much, qwerty & tt, you're all super and I really feel uplifted today. Much appreciation and know how much you all have given me. It makes my day knowing I have such wonderful and caring friends. :e2grouphu

regdog
08-04-2008, 11:07 PM
SO sorry about your beloved Ginger moon tears for her :cry:
and hugs for you :Hug2:

soleary
08-04-2008, 11:14 PM
Moon, my heart breaks for you. And you are right, you have a family here. We are hugging you from a distance, sharing your sorrow. I have lost two furry family members, and both left me devastated. Know that they are in heaven now, waiting to see you again.

Please except my warmest and most heartfelt condolences.

xx,

soleary

Grrarrgh
08-04-2008, 11:22 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your Ginger.

MoonWriter
08-04-2008, 11:51 PM
Yesterday, my son and I went to 5:30 pm Mass. My wife stayed in bed with a back sprain. I said my usual prayers, then prayed for those AW members I read about who mentioned specific problems. Then, because I know how difficult it is to be a writer, and, because I know the power of the written word, I prayed for all AW members, that God may comfort them in their times of need: when they're sick or suffering, when they feel like they are a failure, when they feel alone, unloved, or have been abused. I then prayed for writers everywhere, that God inspires them to excellence.

I then brought Communion to a few homebound parishioners. One, a navigator on a bomber during WWII, now a shell of a man, always makes me grateful for our service men and women. Another, an 82 year old women who lost everything in Katrina, is living with her deceased husband's 90 year old high school classmate. Her daughter lost her house too, and is living there and helping to take care of her mother. In spite of their age, sickness, and loss, these people remain positive and grateful for what they have. I always leave feeling blessed.

But last night, I returned to my dying Gingy-girl and my grief was too much. For the first time since I lost my parents, I had to reach out. I needed help and I needed prayers. Since posting this, I've checked in a few times. Your kind words and prayers gave me the strength to dig that damn hole. I told Gingy-girl that I loved her. I thanked her for all the joy she brought to our lives. And I told her goodbye.

Maryn asked that I tell what made Ginger Penny L. special. She was our first dog. We adopted her as a puppy when the original owner said she was too agressive. She kept me company when I first started my landscape business. She was my PR expert - always wandering off to meet my clients' neighbors, which led to more than a few jobs.

My wife stopped during a rainstorm because one of my kids yelled they saw Ginger. (my wife thought she was working with me and wandered off) They opened the door to the minivan and yelled her name. The drenched golden jumped in the van and shook dry. A block away, my daughter said, "Um, mom, this isn't Ginger." It was a male. We couldn't find the owners so we took him to the vet to get him checked out before we tried to find a home for him. Since we didn't plan to keep him, we called him Redd - not to creative, I know. The vet said he had been abused and neglected. We paid for the adult heartworm treatment, knowing he wouldn't be adopted otherwise. In the weeks it took to complete the treatment, we fell in love with Redd and decided to keep him. At first, he couldn't relax. He'd stand and stare at us. It was kind of creepy. We worked with him, tried to get him to play, but we didn't have any luck. But Ginger did. Before long, they were best buddies. Then, he opened up to us. He was the only one to greet me when I came home from work. He'd follow me around and when I went to bed, he'd circle two or three times then lay down and let out a deep breath, like he was finally off the clock.

Ginger also made friends with our two cats. One a job, she made friends with a client's cat. I asked them why their cat had sores behind its ears. They said it wasn't their cat, that they just fed it. I asked if I could take it to the vet and have it checked out. They said sure, he's yours. Turned out to be nothing more than ear mites. And that's how we got Patch.

When my wife went to visit her grandmother in Crystal Springs, MS, she found two abandoned kittens. One died, but one hung on until she got it home. When my wife wasn't feeding it, it stayed warm, cuddled up by Ginger's tummy. Now grown, Tiger Lily has social issues, but she always loved Ginger.

I'll always miss the way she did her backwards dance and shook her head when she had to potty. I'll miss the way she attacked the towel when I dried her off after a bath. I'll miss her warning bark, the nudge of her nose, her submissive run to make new friends and greet old ones.

I'm better now and I'd really like to thank those who responded. You helped me through a very difficult time. I'm always touched by acts of love or kindness - from animals or people. Xyrventalagn's example is a beautiful example. Any more?

soleary
08-05-2008, 12:55 AM
Moon, as the youngest of 6 with five older brothers, I'm not the typical sort to cry. Tears welling in my eyes, I thank you for the beautiful description of your family and your dogs lives. I would suggest you write about it formally, for publication. You obviously have the passion to deliver to an audience. Thanks for sharing your pain and your love with us. You are a blessing.

KTC
08-05-2008, 12:58 AM
I experienced one today.

Shortly after 1:00 am, Ginger, my loving golden retriever and matriarch of the herd, lost her battle with cancer. I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I couldn't breath. When my wife and son went to bed, I stumbled across the backyard to my office, where the sounds of my grief wouldn't keep my family awake. After the tears ran dry, I felt very alone. It was too late to call my sisters or brother, so I decided to check in with my AW family.

As seen from my post total, I don't contribute very much. I'm still learning from others. But for nearly every post, I've received a rep from Susie. And early this morning, when I felt all alone, I had a random rep from her, telling me hi and hoping all was well. I smiled. I then repped her and let her know all wasn't well. Having someone to share my grief with at that moment really helped, and that's why Susie's smilie has wings. Thanks, Susie.

I don't normally post about my problems, but I thought I'd share how a random act of kindness helped to ease my pain.

Share your experience with random acts of kindness - those given and those received.

BTW - Ginger is still in the dining room. She's covered and her head is resting on a small pillow. I've buried too many pets. The last one, Redd, my male golden, nearly killed me. I can't force myself to put Ginger in a hole. Prayers for strength, please.


I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a golden beauty myself and can't imagine that day. I'm very glad that Susie was able to make you feel a wee bit better. My thoughts to you.

SpookyWriter
08-05-2008, 01:04 AM
Some days I come here and read these stories without knowing how I'd feel afterward. But this time I do know. I read some wonderful words of love and kindness. Best wishes Moon. I'm sorry to learn of your friends passing.

Maryn
08-05-2008, 01:34 AM
Tearing up again--and I'm not even a dog person!

The old saws are old saws because they're true. It's so much better to have loved and lost than never to have loved, whether it's Ginger or something or someone else. Your life is richer for having had her. And ours for knowing you.

So there!

Maryn, rarely this sentimental where anyone can see

joyce
08-05-2008, 03:36 AM
Moon, I'm so terribly sorry to hear about Ginger. When my last dog died I was so torn up I had to call in sick to work for two days. I just sat around and cried my eyes out. At the end of the week, my dear sweet hubby brought me home a new baby to try to fill the hole I had in my heart. I feel your pain.

As for our dear Susie, what can you say that hasn't been said. She's so great, kind, special, thoughtful, and anything else nice you can say about someone. I love logging onto AW and finding a hello post from her. She's a very special person and I as so many others think the world of her. We are definately lucky to have her here with us.

My heart goes out to you in this terrible time of pain and loss.:Hug2:

Perks
08-05-2008, 04:20 AM
Yeah, that's our Susie. No a finer soul handy, for sure.

Moonwriter, I'm so sorry to hear of your heartbreak. Take care of yourself.

Susie
08-05-2008, 04:27 AM
Sure hope you and your family feel better, Moon. Dealing with a loss like this is very hard, but know your friends here will help you get through it. I'm always here for you if you want to pm me. :Hug2:

Thanks so much, joyce & Perks. Your so nice comments about me mean the world to me and sure has uplifted me. You're all fantastic and a wonderful family - the ones I would have chosen! :e2grouphu

Deccydiva
08-05-2008, 10:37 AM
I went through it twice in ten months so I know how you feel.
Polly was my first dog and she was taken from me suddenly in 2006 at the age of nine. She was the first I had lost and it hit me hard; like you, I didn't want to bury her at first and had her curled up in her basket because she looked like she was asleep and I wanted so badly for her to wake up and life would be normal again. I was putting my first book together at the time which was about dogs but I had no inspiration for a title or theme. After weeks of grieving I realised that Polly was the inspiration so the title, and indeed the whole book, is a tribute to her and suddenly I had a title and a purpose which was to celebrate dog life. Some months later I finally finished the book; the weather had been hot so I worked mainly at night and I went to bed at around 2am, happy that it was finished at last. The next morning I woke up and let my other two dogs out, when I went to let them back in, suddenly I caught a glimpse of a third. I stepped outside, it was a bright morning again and I could feel the heat of the sun on my face. I looked again and there was Polly, standing gazing at me with her usual benign expression, wagging her tail. I could see every whisker on her face and stood in shock, unable to believe what I was seeing. All of a sudden, everything went black and I woke up realising it had been a dream. It was the most realistic dream I have ever had and I believe that Polly had come back to tell me she approved of what I had done and was telling me everything was good.
Two weeks after that I lost my second dog, Polo, who was only seven. He was diagnosed with a tumour on the brain and I had managed the condition for eight months but eventually he developed secondaries on his liver and succumbed to his illness. He was my true soul mate and slept on the bed with me every night. At the age of two he saved my life in a car crash which was technically un-survivable. He was a difficult dog but I loved him more than life itself and it came as a second blow far too soon after Polly.
They are buried on my land and I can see the graves from where I sit at the computer. It's incredibly hard what you are going through and you never forget, but the intense pain eases eventually. You will come to the point eventually where you are able to celebrate her life.
Thinking of you.

misslissy
08-05-2008, 08:42 PM
Susie is a wonderful blessing. I can't tell you how many times I have received a rep point from her and it has uplifted my day. She is such a kind sweet spirit. I like to think of her like an aunt to me.

As far as losing pets go, I know it can be rough. We had a dog, Collin, who we adopted and I absolutely adored. I loved that dog so much. He was just the bees knees. I taught him how to get up into my bunk bed and he would lay there with me for a while, til my dad went to bed. He was always a daddy's dog. Well, he had a biting problem. He bit two people and then we pretty much had no choice because here that's considered a dangerous dog and if we brought him back to the pound they would have put him down anyways. It was hard getting over that and sometimes I still feel as though my brother is responsible. (He was one of the people who was bit and he growled at him when he was sleeping and it startled him. It was stupid. The other was a little cousin of mine - not bad, but still - he wasn't really a good dog about children - the vet said he was probably abused as a puppy).

We also had to put down a cat, Pepper, more recently. She lived a long full life (18 years) and I was allergic to her, but it was still hard, just because that cat was around my whole life and it felt kind of empty without her. Still, it was her time to go, she was just in so much pain. She had a huge lump on her forehead which was either a tumor or a pool of blood and she was sneezing out blood all the time. It was her time, but it was still sad.

As far as random acts of kindness go, I think the best random act of kindness is just having a positive attitude. I mean, I work in fast food. I understand to some people that that's like the lowest of the lowest and some people sure treat you like that. And then there are other people, who just blow your day completely away with how nice they are. I mean, some people don't think about it, but we have lives too. You never know who is having a bad day. You never know what other people have done - like coming back just to drop the f word a bunch of times because you forgot the silverware in the bags even though you got their huge order right. We don't want to tell you that there's going to be a wait because we just sold it all - we don't like it any more than you do, because we're so scared you're going to yell at us for how crappy our service is because it's happened to many times already. Just having a positive attitude and treating everyone like people is a huge thing in my book for random acts of kindness.

Kitrianna
08-05-2008, 08:54 PM
I've lost a couple of dogs, but have never been present at the time of their demise, thank God for small favors. On the other hand last November, Kthrok and I discovered a small kitten living under a friends trailer and took him in. A little orange tiger striped ball of fur that could make you tear your hair out when he went psycho during playtime. I named him Ijit.

For three weeks I doted on the little guy. Loved him to peices. One night he got out with our other cat Coonbear and i was worried, but figured he'd be fine so long as he stuck with Bear. An hour or so later, Coonbear came knocking on the door with Ijit in tow. He wolfed down his food and I thought everything was fine, travesty averted. A couple hours later Ijit vomited and he kept doing that for two days. Everyone convinced me that he had just caught a bug or eaten some bad food outside. By day two he was listless and wouldn't even drink (couldn't blame him when he vomited water), so I rushed him to vet as fast as I could, thinking that he was sick and they could make him better. I was wrong.

Ij had gotten into some sort of poison and he was dying before my eyes. I bawled when they told me that there wasn't anything that could be done, I bawled when they gave him the injection that ended his misery. I cried at the drop of a hat for weeks afterwards. I openly wept when I found the sympathy card in the mail from the vet who had put him to sleep, but it affirmed my faith in people having a kind side to them (I'm also crying now...I still miss the little bug).

It however did not stop me from taking in two more abandoned cats...CJ and Zeus (that's my AV) and it never will. My only regret? I wasn't able to get a picture of him to remember him by.

Moonwriter...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If Ginger loved cats...I'm sure that Ijit is keeping her busy now :). Don't stop taking in animals that need to be loved. It's hard at first, but it gets better...I promise.

JLCwrites
08-05-2008, 09:04 PM
:Hug2: MoonWriter, so glad you had such a wonderful friend in Ginger. I am certain she was blessed to have such a loving family. I hope your pain subsides and the wonderful memories take over. You are very correct, Susie is a fantastic member here in AW. :)

Susie
08-05-2008, 10:06 PM
Sure hope you're feeling better today, Moon and your family too. You're always in our thoughts & prayers. :Hug2: Very sorry about your pets, missslissy and Turk, hope that the days are much better for everyone. Many thanks for your kind words and right back atcha. :e2grouphu