View Full Version : Feeling down. . .

Ageless Stranger
08-04-2008, 12:11 AM
Man, ever feel like a complete heel?
A few months ago I dropped out of a business course, cut off contact with everyone I knew and took up an art course. Now I'm talking to one of my old friends again and apparently I was quite missed. Doesn't help that I feel down as it is at the moment. The trouble is, I want to talk to them all again but I'm nervous about it and I have serious social anxiety problems as it is. Has anyone else been a similar position? Any advice?

08-04-2008, 12:58 AM
While I treasure my times of solitude I'm social, too - I like to have a fairly even balance of the two.

However, in 2004 my best friend died, and it proved the last straw in a long series of personal losses. For the first time in my life I voluntarily withdrew from everything and everyone. After a time I moved away to a strange place where I knew no one, holed up, researched and wrote a book. When I finally emerged and went back home I didn't know if I could take up again as I had been, or if I'd be changed in some permanent way.

As it turned out it's okay, I can make friends again, be normal, care again. I have never had any social anxiety issues though, so I can't speak to that. I can only say that it is possible to step away from things and step back in.


Ageless Stranger
08-04-2008, 04:06 AM
Thanks you guys, I appreciate the advice and actually feel quite chipper now.

Cheers. :D

Silver King
08-04-2008, 04:26 AM
I think true friends will always welcome us back into the fold, no matter how long we've been away. I found that out as I grew older and touched base with several people I hadn't seen in many years. In most cases, it was well worth reconnecting with them and filling the gaps that had widened over the years.

One of my favorite songs (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xRPE6d_0oiA) from Neil Young has to do with friendship. The video is nonexistent, but if you close your eyes and listen, the song may speak to you.

Good luck, and please let us know how things work out for you.

08-04-2008, 05:04 AM
Start with one person. Catch up with them. Then add another.

Let the anxiety ease away naturally.

Good luck!

08-04-2008, 07:08 AM
Good advice from Williebee there.

I've gone through several dramatic changes such as going from church ministry to being a theatre manager. I withdrew for about two years from contact with many of the people I'd been close to. None of them really understood why I made the changes I did, and even now, only one or two of the longest-standing friends amongst them know the full reasoning behind the change. As I've worked things out within me, I've been able to re-establish friendships, one by one.

As for social anxiety, I know that we all want to be liked and admired, and we're all afraid, at least a little bit, that our efforts to be friends with someone else will be rebuffed. Perhaps you could try re-establishing friendships with the one or two people you were closest to first. Those friendships will give you a buffer against the rejection you fear, if it comes to be.

And I'm glad you're feeling chipper today. One day at a time, Ageless.

08-04-2008, 07:10 AM
Much good luck, Ageless, hope things go well for you.