Relatives Dropping By

Does anyone else think it's the height of rudeness to "drop in"? Here's the scenario: I'm full-time caregiver for my disabled father. We live in a small space, so the place is always cluttered -- not dirty, just a bunch of stuff everywhere.

When we know someone will be coming over, we take a day to creatively hide the mess...stash stuff in Dad's van, etc. The place is too small to spruce up on a few minutes' notice, and there's nowhere for anybody to sit most of the time.

So there's that. Then there's the problem of being wrapped up in work. I write full-time and I'm juggling way too many deadlines right now. I can't just drop everything to go have a chat. On top of everything else, Dad and I are leaving in a few days for a two month trip. So the normal clutter and time constraints are 1000 times worse.

My uncle (Dad's brother) lives 20 minutes from here with his girlfriend we can't stand. Allegedly they both have jobs, but they never seem to be at work. They call incessantly. If we don't answer, they call another 50 times at two minute intervals. We've told them a million times that dropping in is not okay.

So today they show up on the doorstep. In the rain. Just to say hi. I'm still in my pajamas and haven't showered yet, trying to make a deadline of today (I have ten articles due today). Dad's on the phone trying to make last minute changes to our reservations for this trip. So Dad gets off the phone, changes clothes and goes outside in the rain to talk, telling me the whole time that I should go too. He comes back in two minutes later cause the girlfriend wants a soda.

Do I have a right to be pissed? Am I doing the wrong thing by staying at work and not dropping my articles to socialize? Personally, if I'd answered the door I'd have told the uncle where to go, but Dad's nicer than I am. How do you handle this kind of situation?

Thanks all, for your thoughtful replies. I do appreciate them. Let me clarify what I mean by "small space." We're in a 180 square foot travel trailer, at Dad's insistence. I've tried to talk him into moving multiple times into an apartment or home (which I would pay for), but he won't do it. He and my mom bought this trailer ten days before she passed away three years ago, and he's very attached.

The layout is: his bedroom at the end, then the living area, which is also where I sleep and work and includes the "kitchen" (half size stove and refrigerator) and then a microscopic bathroom area. If you've ever been in a small travel trailer, you'll have some idea what I'm talking about. We don't have junk, we lost everything we own in Katrina. We have our clothes, a single TV, two computers and a few books/DVDS/CDs and personal items. What else would you suggest we get rid of? I clean the place every day, it's just that there's nowhere to put anything away. So I don't appreciate being told that I'm falling down on the job as a caregiver when I keep things to the best of my ability within the space I'm working in. I hardly think that I'm shortchanging my father by working, considering he relies on the income. But by working from home, at least I'm here when he needs me, right?

Showering and dressing first thing is definitely a great idea, but I'm sure I'm not the only writer on this board who, when not expecting company and on a tight deadline, has been guilty of being in her pajamas at 11 am. I can't disappear, as someone suggested, because there are no doors in here other than the bathroom door. Should I take my computer and sit in the bathtub??

The uncle, by the way, lives in a huge house. He couldn't call and invite us over there why, exactly?

And no, Dad didn't want to see them. He doesn't get along with the brother at all, and he strongly dislikes the girlfriend. He doesn't pick up the phone when they call until the 50th time, just to get them to stop calling. He just didn't know what else to do but go talk to them.