silly songs from childhood

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt
His name is my name too-ooo-ooo
Whenever we go OUT!
The people always SHOUT!
HEY! John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah

(repeat ad naseum until bribed by adults to shut up)

Do your ears hang low?
Do they woblle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you toss them over your shoulder
Like a regimental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they are wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbour
with a minimum of labour?
Do your ears hang high?

Mind, that's the clean version.

Knick, knack patty wack
Give your dog a bone
This ole' man came rolling home...

And

Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry...

And

Jack Lapp took a nap with Sally Sapp
Jack Lapp now has the clap.... (What? My dad taught me that one...)

I've never been to Harvard, I've never been to Yale
The only place I've ever been is to the county jail
I woke up Monday morning and looked up on the wall
The cooties and the bedbugs were having a game of ball
The score was six to nothing, the cooties were ahead
The bedbugs hit a homerun that knocked me ot of bed!
Singing eenie meanie meanie miney moe
Catch a cootie cootie by the toe
If he hollers hollers let him go
Eenie meanie meanie miney moe!

Or this "classic" version of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"
My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers we have broken all the rules
And we're gonna hang the principal tomorrow afternoon
And truth goes marching oooooooonnnnnnn

Glory glory hallejulah
The teacher hit me with the ruler
The ruler turned red and the teacher was dead
and that was the end of schooooolllll

Yeah, we weren't always real nice, were we?

Comet. It makes your mouth turn green.
Comet. It tastes like gasoline.
Comet. It makes you vomit.
So get some Comet, and vomit, today.

or

G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe.
Oh my gosh, he let one go,
and he stunk up the whole U.S.O.

or

Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer weiner,
that is what I'd really hate to be,
for if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner,
there soon would be nothing left of me.

or

Winston tastes bad
Like the one I just had
No filter, no flavor
Just rolled up dirty toilet paper.

Mela said:

One hundred bottles of beer on the wall,
one hundred bottles of beer,
you take one down, pass it around,
99 bottles of beer on the wall.

Click to expand...

Ahhh, yes the good ole' daze...I remember them not so well.

Say say oh playmate,
come out and play with me
and we'll be jolly friend,
forever more -one two three four!

----------

My bonnie lies over the ocean.
My bonne lies over the sea.
My bonnie lies over the ocean,
oh bring back my bonnie to me!

Bring back,
Bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me, to me.

Bring back,
Bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me.

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee (Hold hands like cupping an object)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me.
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee.
OUCH! It stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee. (Rub hands together)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee.
EWWW its all icky!

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee. (Licks palms while singing)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm licking up my baby bumble bee.
Look! All clean! (Holds out clean hands.)

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile
Lost a wheel
The Joker got away, Hey!

Batman in the kitchen
Robin in the hall
Joker in the bathroom
Pee-in' on the wall

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!

MeowGirl said:

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!

Click to expand...

Now now now, Cookie Monster (known as C-monster to his homies) never said "that's good enough for me," he is unable to contract, apparently. The lyric is clearly "C is for cookie, that good enough for me."

Now you know

Give me an 'F'
Give me a....

Never mind.

Richard

My sons K class sang this one:

Lining up is easy to do...
If you take care of only you...

Eyes straight....
Hands to your side...

With quiet lips we wait with pride.

I chuckle when I hear it. Cause they SCREAM IT.

BenPanced that was a very mooooo-ving song...LOL!!!

Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
The Adam's Family started
When Uncle Fester farted
They all became retarded
The Adam's Family

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two pieces of bread

Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Joy to the world, the school burned down
the teachers are all dead
We're looking for the principal
he's hanging on the flag pole
with a noose around his neck
with a noose around his neck
with a noose, a noose around his neck

5th grade song.

TurkeyLurkey said:

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee (Hold hands like cupping an object)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me.
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee.
OUCH! It stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee. (Rub hands together)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee.
EWWW its all icky!


I'm licking up my baby bumble bee. (Licks palms while singing)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm licking up my baby bumble bee.
Look! All clean! (Holds out clean hands.)

Click to expand...

We had "throwing up my baby bumble bee" as an extra verse

This was actually in a British book of children's songs we had when I was young. If you've ever wondered why the British are the way they are, here's a clue.


There was a strange old butcher, His name was Dunderbeck.
He was very fond of sausage-meat, and sauerkraut and speck.
He had the finest butcher shop, the finest ever seen,
Until one day he invented his wonderful sausage machine...

CHORUS:
Oh Dunderbeck, Oh Dunderbeck! How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
For all the neighbor's dogs and cats will never more be seen;
They'll all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine!

One day a very little girl came walking in the store.
She ordered up some sausage meat and eggs, a half a score.
And while she stood a-waiting she whistled up a tune,
And the sausage meat it started up and danced around the room!

CHORUS

Once day when he was working the machine it would not go.
So Dunderbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a night-mare and came walking in her sleep;
She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Dunderbeck was meat!

what's strange about that? *scratches head* I mean we have nursery rhymes about the Black Death, Vikings pulling down London Bridge, and of course in 'A frog he would a wooing go' we refer to the Duke of Anjou *snicker*

A couple that used to get sung quite regular.


we'll drink a drink a drink
to lily the pink the pink the pink
the saviour of our human race
for she invented, medicinal compound
most efficasious in every case

mr freers, had sticky out ears
and it made him awful shy
and so they gave him medicinal compound
and now he's learning how to fly

robert tony, was known to be bony
he would never eat his meals
and so they gave him medicinal compound
now they move him round on wheels[COLOR=orange ! important][FONT=Arial,sans-serif][COLOR=orange ! important][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]

we'll drink a drink a drink
to lily the pink the pink the pink
the saviour of the human race
for she invented medicinal compound
mosr efficasious in every case

old ebineezer thought he was julius caeser
and so they put him in a home
where they gave him medicnal compound
and now he's emporor of Rome[COLOR=orange ! important][FONT=Arial,sans-serif][COLOR=orange ! important][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]

jonny hammer, had a terrible st st st st stammer
he could hardly sssay a word
and so they gave him medicinal compound
now's he's seen, but never heard

chorus

aunty milly, ran willy nilly
when her legs they did recede
so they looked on medicnal compound
now they call her milly bee

jennifer eccles[COLOR=orange ! important][FONT=Arial,sans-serif][COLOR=orange ! important][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] had terrible freckles
and the boys all called her names
but they gave her medicinal compound
now she joins in all the games

chorus

lily the pink she turned to drink
she filled up with parafin inside
and despite her medicinal compound
sadly picklilly died

up to heaven her soul ascended
all the church bells they did ring[COLOR=orange ! important][FONT=Arial,sans-serif][COLOR=orange ! important][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]
she took with her medicinal compound
hark the herald angels sing

or

A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam
A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn't grousin'
He sang every morning, "How lucky I am,
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!"

Going down the highway
Doing eighty four
Broke all the windows
Blew out all the doors
The wheels started shaking
The engine fell apart
All because of (insert some unlucky sap's name here)
Supersonic fart!

I taste like a booger
but I look like a worm
and I'll bet you've never seen
a booger that can squirm
I'll be there when you sneeze
and I'll be there when you cough
cuz I'm stuck on your finger
and you can't shake me off

This one's going to be your children's favourite years down the road (it was written two four years ago by Mark Burrows)

Never polka with a porcupine
Dancing isn't part of his design
You can schottisch* with a sheep
Or swing-dance with a swine
But never, never (ouch) never (ouch!ouch!ouch!) never
Polka with a porcupine.

*a dance like a slow polka