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Mela
07-22-2008, 07:04 PM
(sung to the tune of: On Top of Old Smokey)

On top of spaghetti
all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table
and onto the floor
and then my poor meatball
it rolled out the door.


AKA: I'm bored at work.

DeleyanLee
07-22-2008, 07:06 PM
John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt
His name is my name too-ooo-ooo
Whenever we go OUT!
The people always SHOUT!
HEY! John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt!

Nah nah nah nah nah nah

(repeat ad naseum until bribed by adults to shut up)

Mr Flibble
07-22-2008, 07:09 PM
Do your ears hang low?
Do they woblle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you toss them over your shoulder
Like a regimental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they are wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbour
with a minimum of labour?
Do your ears hang high?

Mind, that's the clean version.

Tink
07-22-2008, 07:19 PM
Knick, knack patty wack
Give your dog a bone
This ole' man came rolling home...

And

Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry...

And

Jack Lapp took a nap with Sally Sapp
Jack Lapp now has the clap.... (What? My dad taught me that one...)

Pagey's_Girl
07-22-2008, 07:39 PM
I've never been to Harvard, I've never been to Yale
The only place I've ever been is to the county jail
I woke up Monday morning and looked up on the wall
The cooties and the bedbugs were having a game of ball
The score was six to nothing, the cooties were ahead
The bedbugs hit a homerun that knocked me ot of bed!
Singing eenie meanie meanie miney moe
Catch a cootie cootie by the toe
If he hollers hollers let him go
Eenie meanie meanie miney moe!

Or this "classic" version of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"
My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers we have broken all the rules
And we're gonna hang the principal tomorrow afternoon
And truth goes marching oooooooonnnnnnn

Glory glory hallejulah
The teacher hit me with the ruler
The ruler turned red and the teacher was dead
and that was the end of schooooolllll

Yeah, we weren't always real nice, were we?

Mela
07-22-2008, 07:45 PM
That's hysterical ...
we had so many stupid songs we sang on the schoolbus.
Of course, the grandaddy of them all:

One hundred bottles of beer on the wall,
one hundred bottles of beer,
you take one down, pass it around,
99 bottles of beer on the wall.

That one was always good on a class trip.

Shadow_Ferret
07-22-2008, 07:52 PM
Comet. It makes your mouth turn green.
Comet. It tastes like gasoline.
Comet. It makes you vomit.
So get some Comet, and vomit, today.

or

G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe.
Oh my gosh, he let one go,
and he stunk up the whole U.S.O.

or

Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Oscar Meyer weiner,
that is what I'd really hate to be,
for if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner,
there soon would be nothing left of me.

or

Winston tastes bad
Like the one I just had
No filter, no flavor
Just rolled up dirty toilet paper.

Tink
07-22-2008, 07:58 PM
One hundred bottles of beer on the wall,
one hundred bottles of beer,
you take one down, pass it around,
99 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ahhh, yes the good ole' daze...I remember them not so well. :D

Captshady
07-22-2008, 08:01 PM
Say say oh playmate,
come out and play with me
and we'll be jolly friend,
forever more -one two three four!

----------

My bonnie lies over the ocean.
My bonne lies over the sea.
My bonnie lies over the ocean,
oh bring back my bonnie to me!

Bring back,
Bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me, to me.

Bring back,
Bring back,
Oh bring back my bonnie to me.

JLCwrites
07-22-2008, 08:11 PM
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee (Hold hands like cupping an object)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me.
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee.
OUCH! It stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee. (Rub hands together)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee.
EWWW its all icky!

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee. (Licks palms while singing)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm licking up my baby bumble bee.
Look! All clean! (Holds out clean hands.)

Prawn
07-22-2008, 08:18 PM
Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile
Lost a wheel
The Joker got away, Hey!

Batman in the kitchen
Robin in the hall
Joker in the bathroom
Pee-in' on the wall

Bubastes
07-22-2008, 08:24 PM
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!

Captshady
07-22-2008, 11:11 PM
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!

Now now now, Cookie Monster (known as C-monster to his homies) never said "that's good enough for me," he is unable to contract, apparently. The lyric is clearly "C is for cookie, that good enough for me."

Now you know :poke:

Seaclusion
07-22-2008, 11:31 PM
Give me an 'F'
Give me a....

Never mind.

Richard

jennifer75
07-22-2008, 11:43 PM
My sons K class sang this one:

Lining up is easy to do...
If you take care of only you...

Eyes straight....
Hands to your side...

With quiet lips we wait with pride.

I chuckle when I hear it. Cause they SCREAM IT.

BenPanced
07-23-2008, 12:55 AM
oomah-poppa-cow-cow
oomah-poppa-cow-cow
oomah-poppa-cattle-cattle
oomah-poppa-cow-cow
oomah-poppa-cow-cow
oomah-poppa-cattle-cattle (continue as background)

Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?

Each and ev'ry day!
Eatin' all that hay!
Moo, baby.
Moo, baby.
Each and ev'ry day!
Eatin' all that hay!
Moo, baby.
Moo, baby.

Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
Can't you hear the cows?
(fade)

Tink
07-23-2008, 12:57 AM
BenPanced that was a very mooooo-ving song...LOL!!! :D

soleary
07-23-2008, 01:05 AM
Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
The Adam's Family started
When Uncle Fester farted
They all became retarded
The Adam's Family

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now Mary takes the lamb to school
Between two pieces of bread

Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na (click click)
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Captshady
07-23-2008, 01:18 AM
Joy to the world, the school burned down
the teachers are all dead
We're looking for the principal
he's hanging on the flag pole
with a noose around his neck
with a noose around his neck
with a noose, a noose around his neck

5th grade song.

Captshady
07-23-2008, 01:20 AM
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee (Hold hands like cupping an object)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me.
I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee.
OUCH! It stung me!

I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee. (Rub hands together)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm squishing up my baby bumble bee.
EWWW its all icky!


I'm licking up my baby bumble bee. (Licks palms while singing)
Wont my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm licking up my baby bumble bee.
Look! All clean! (Holds out clean hands.)

We had "throwing up my baby bumble bee" as an extra verse

pconsidine
07-23-2008, 01:36 AM
This was actually in a British book of children's songs we had when I was young. If you've ever wondered why the British are the way they are, here's a clue.


There was a strange old butcher, His name was Dunderbeck.
He was very fond of sausage-meat, and sauerkraut and speck.
He had the finest butcher shop, the finest ever seen,
Until one day he invented his wonderful sausage machine...

CHORUS:
Oh Dunderbeck, Oh Dunderbeck! How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
For all the neighbor's dogs and cats will never more be seen;
They'll all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine!

One day a very little girl came walking in the store.
She ordered up some sausage meat and eggs, a half a score.
And while she stood a-waiting she whistled up a tune,
And the sausage meat it started up and danced around the room!

CHORUS

Once day when he was working the machine it would not go.
So Dunderbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a night-mare and came walking in her sleep;
She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Dunderbeck was meat!

Mr Flibble
07-23-2008, 01:52 AM
what's strange about that? *scratches head* I mean we have nursery rhymes about the Black Death, Vikings pulling down London Bridge, and of course in 'A frog he would a wooing go' we refer to the Duke of Anjou *snicker*

A couple that used to get sung quite regular.


we'll drink a drink a drink
to lily the pink the pink the pink
the saviour of our human race
for she invented, medicinal compound
most efficasious in every case

mr freers, had sticky out ears
and it made him awful shy
and so they gave him medicinal compound
and now he's learning how to fly

robert tony, was known to be bony
he would never eat his meals
and so they gave him medicinal compound
now they move him round on wheels (http://www.lyricsdownload.com/scaffold-lily-the-pink-lyrics.html#)

we'll drink a drink a drink
to lily the pink the pink the pink
the saviour of the human race
for she invented medicinal compound
mosr efficasious in every case

old ebineezer thought he was julius caeser
and so they put him in a home
where they gave him medicnal compound
and now he's emporor of Rome (http://www.lyricsdownload.com/scaffold-lily-the-pink-lyrics.html#)

jonny hammer, had a terrible st st st st stammer
he could hardly sssay a word
and so they gave him medicinal compound
now's he's seen, but never heard

chorus

aunty milly, ran willy nilly
when her legs they did recede
so they looked on medicnal compound
now they call her milly bee

jennifer eccles (http://www.lyricsdownload.com/scaffold-lily-the-pink-lyrics.html#) had terrible freckles
and the boys all called her names
but they gave her medicinal compound
now she joins in all the games

chorus

lily the pink she turned to drink
she filled up with parafin inside
and despite her medicinal compound
sadly picklilly died

up to heaven her soul ascended
all the church bells they did ring (http://www.lyricsdownload.com/scaffold-lily-the-pink-lyrics.html#)
she took with her medicinal compound
hark the herald angels sing

or

A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam
A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn't grousin'
He sang every morning, "How lucky I am,
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!"
Chorus:
I saw a mouse!
Where?
There on the stair!
Where on the stair?
Right there!
A little mouse with clogs on
Well I declare!
Going clip-clippety-clop on the stair
Oh yeah
This mouse he got lonesome, he took him a wife
A windmill with mice in, it's hardly surprisin'
She sang every morning, "How lucky I am,
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!"
Chorus
First they had triplets and then they had quins
A windmill with quins in, and triplets and twins in
They sang every morning, "How lucky we are
Living in a windmill in Amsterdam, ya!"
Chorus
The daughters got married and so did the sons
The windmill had christ'nin's when no one was list'nin'
They all sang in chorus, "How lucky we am
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!"
Chorus
A mouse lived in a windmill, so snug and so nice
There's nobody there now but a whole lot of mice.

Pagey's_Girl
07-23-2008, 04:17 AM
Going down the highway
Doing eighty four
Broke all the windows
Blew out all the doors
The wheels started shaking
The engine fell apart
All because of (insert some unlucky sap's name here)
Supersonic fart!

StarCats
07-23-2008, 08:01 AM
I taste like a booger
but I look like a worm
and I'll bet you've never seen
a booger that can squirm
I'll be there when you sneeze
and I'll be there when you cough
cuz I'm stuck on your finger
and you can't shake me off

BardSkye
07-23-2008, 08:31 AM
This one's going to be your children's favourite years down the road (it was written two four years ago by Mark Burrows)

Never polka with a porcupine
Dancing isn't part of his design
You can schottisch* with a sheep
Or swing-dance with a swine
But never, never (ouch) never (ouch!ouch!ouch!) never
Polka with a porcupine.

*a dance like a slow polka

MacAllister
07-23-2008, 08:47 AM
My Bonnie has tuberculosis
My Bonnie has only one lung
My Bonnie has tuberculosis
Spits up blood and chews it for gum
Dentyne, Dentyne . . .

or

Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate
The first one says "Oh my it's getting late"
The second one says, "There are witches in the air!"
The third one says, "But we don't care!"
The fourth one says, "Let's run and run and run"
The fifth one says, "I'm ready for some fun"
Then "woooo" went the wind, and out went the lights
And the five little pumpkins went rolling out of sight!

MacAllister
07-23-2008, 08:56 AM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat,
chopped up baby parakeet,
great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
and I forgot my spoon!


Okay. Now I'm scaring myself a little.

JLCwrites
07-23-2008, 09:00 AM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat,
chopped up baby parakeet,
great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
and I forgot my spoon!


Okay. Now I'm scaring myself a little.

LOL! I remember this one too. We sang it a little bit different...

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey feet,
Eyeballs rolling down the street..
(and then the rest)

rugcat
07-23-2008, 09:10 AM
Pepsi Cola, stinky drink
pour it down the kitchen sink
Tastes like iodine, looks like ink
Pepsi Cola, stinky drink.

* * *

Did you ever think when a hearse goes by
That you might be the next to die
They wrap you up in a bloody sheet
And throw you in about six feet
You're okay for about a week
Unless your casket springs a leak
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
Your liver turns a lusty green
Your guts squirt out like shaving cream
You wrap it up in a piece of bread
And that's what you eat when you are dead

* * *

And a sweet song my mother taiught me when I was very young:

Way up yonder above the sky
A blue bird nested a jaybirds eye
Buckeye Jim you canít go
Go weave and spin, you canít go
Buckeye Jim

Way up yonder above the moon
a bluejay nested in a silver spoon
Buckeye Jim...

Way down yonder in a hollow log
A red bird danced with a green bull frog
buckeye...

Jaybird sittin' in a hollow tree
I looked at him, he looked at me
Buckeye Jim...

Way down yonder in a wooden trough
An old lady died of the whooping cough
Buckeye Jim...

StarCats
07-23-2008, 09:12 AM
We sang this incorrect version when I was a kid

The worms crawl in
the worms crawl out
inthrough your stomach
and out your mouth
they use your tongue
for a diving board
the swim around
in your vocal chords
beware
beware
you may be the next to die
beware


I also remember

Jack be nimble
jack be quick
jack jumped over the candle stick
jack wasn't nimble nimble
jack wasn't quick
jack came home with a french fried dick

Funny, this thread is up, I've been tormented by the Ants Go Marching song all week :-(
My cat likes to be sung to while I'm holding him, no matter how stupid the song is LOL

Joe270
07-23-2008, 09:42 AM
Everah time ah go to town,
Folks keep kickin' my dog around.
Makes no difference if he is a hound,
Folks keep kickin' my dog around.
Arroooooooo. Arrooooooo.

Sophia
07-23-2008, 01:03 PM
This is a fantastic thread!


Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Think I'll go and eat worms

Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones,
See how the little ones squirm (wiggle finger)
Bite their heads off
(sucking sound effect) all the juice up
Chuck the skins away
Now you know why I eat worms
One three times a day!

Sophia
07-23-2008, 01:08 PM
When we were very young, we used to sing this all the time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC9FtLQJoGM

The "mana mana" song from The Muppets. :)

JimmyB27
07-23-2008, 01:48 PM
One we used to sing in the Scouts -

He jumped from forty thousand feet without a paracute
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a paracute
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a paracute
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
suspended by your braces when you dont know how to fly
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
And he aint gonna jump no more

He landed on the pavement like a lump of strawberry jam
He landed on the pavement like a lump of strawberry jam
He landed on the pavement like a lump of strawberry jam
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
And he aint gonna jump no more

Chorus

JimmyB27
07-23-2008, 01:50 PM
One we used to sing in the Scouts
Which reminds me...

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie wotcha ging gang goo, ging gang goo.

DeleyanLee
07-23-2008, 04:18 PM
This was actually in a British book of children's songs we had when I was young. If you've ever wondered why the British are the way they are, here's a clue.


There was a strange old butcher, His name was Dunderbeck.
He was very fond of sausage-meat, and sauerkraut and speck.
He had the finest butcher shop, the finest ever seen,
Until one day he invented his wonderful sausage machine...

CHORUS:
Oh Dunderbeck, Oh Dunderbeck! How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
For all the neighbor's dogs and cats will never more be seen;
They'll all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine!

One day a very little girl came walking in the store.
She ordered up some sausage meat and eggs, a half a score.
And while she stood a-waiting she whistled up a tune,
And the sausage meat it started up and danced around the room!

CHORUS

Once day when he was working the machine it would not go.
So Dunderbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a night-mare and came walking in her sleep;
She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Dunderbeck was meat!

That was also sung in Pittsburgh in the 50's--a friend of mine remembers it fondly. It was one of her family's "car-travel" songs.