Stupid accidents

Last night I popped myself with a dressage whip during a come to jesus meeting with my two year old filly... So I've got a nice little bruise where the knot hit the top of my thigh and a welt running off the side.

Ouch!

Trying to slide from the bathroom to the front room on my laminate floors. It's easy if you have the right sort of socks on. Addition of alcohol made for over-slippage and I ( rather spectacularly apparantly) smashed my knee into the dining room wall. I was limping for a while.

Jumped into a jaquzzi...
a screw was sticking out from the side...
my heal sliced right down over it...
the night before we left for Maui (Jr. High grad gift from dad--15 days in Hawaii)

Sooo, I spent the first week, by the pool vs on the beach, sunning...reading Jaws (back when it was new terror)...

Dad's an old Army medic...heal wasn't mending...he took stitches out & said go hang out in ocean for the day...salt water & minerals made foot mend much more quickly than string stitches...


I STILL cringe, remembering the pain of slicing foot in half....and the shots they had to administer....*shudder*

This was several, several years ago (we're talking like over ten years ago), but we had a loose brick that edged our garden, and my neighbour decided that he would launch the brick off a snow shovel over our heads. Guess who got hit square in the forehead? Me. Didn't actually hurt much, I was bleeding like crazy, and had to get four stitches..but I didn't feel a thing for about an hour.

We were having pot roast for dinner and of course the kids had a thousand and one demands while I was trying to get some sort of nutrition into my body. I'd taken a quick bite when one of them asked for a drink for the third time, and I swallowed without thinking.

It lodged around my esophagus and had to be surgically removed. I was on pure liquids for 3 weeks after that. My husband still teases me about chewing my food all the way before swallowing.

I lost my concentration and let my hand get pulled into an industrial meat-slicer.

The colors were very pretty and, luckily, no one ate a filet-of-Perks sandwich that day. The blade didn't go all the way through and when the bone hit, it kicked my hand out of the machine. This all happened faster than I could blink, mind you.

Sorry, carogirl, but that whole thing you describes sounded like an accident waiting to happen.

But really, I can't think of any stupid accidents where I got hurt. Guess I'm just lucky because I've done a lot of stupid things.

Well, I did jump off a garage roof once as a kid. Didn't occur to me it might hurt. Luckily all I got out of it was a belly flop on the lawn.

Then I had to learn to how breathe again.

And I fell out of a tree once.

Oh, and one time I was taking some vitamins. Huge horse pills. And I didn't think I could swallow the whole thing, so I cut it in half. So now I'm trying to swallow this huge pill with SHARP EDGES. It got stuck, throwing me into this panic, and then it slowly excrusiatingly went down my throat. My throat was sore for weeks.

I am making a list of folks to stay away from....and you will be happy to know, you are alllllllllll on it.

Carry on....

Oh jeez... where do I begin?

I broke my nose playing water tag when I was 12. Two weeks before school started. Fortunately, the pool water was cold enough that I didn't end up with two black eyes - though I did almost drown on top of it.

I've broken toes
1. trying to keep my cat from going in the basement. Went to block her and nailed the wall instead. Then almost fell down the stairs because of the pain.
2. making a bed - I slipped on the hardwood floor and rammed my foot into the boxspring.
3. Getting out of a chair - caught the leg with my foot.

I sprained a wrist putting my son in his car seat a year ago.

I broke my pinky trying to get a stuck tape out of a tape deck - whacked the stereo with the side of my hand really hard. Got the tape out before the stereo could completely eat it, but broke my pinky and had to explain to the doctor that I'd picked a fight with the stereo and the stereo won.

Gave myself tendinitis in both thumbs at a picnic, playing volleyball. I thought they were both broken - fortunately only one needed to be splinted. The other was a much milder form of tendinitis.

And finally, I ripped up my right knee in gym class when I was in junior high - playing flag football. I stepped in a hole and my leg went one way while my body went another. Not pretty. That had to be surgically repaired - on the plus side, I didn't take gym class from the end of eighth grade until halfway through my sophomore year in high school.

It's a wonder I've actually lived to see adulthood...

The only thing I can think of is going to knock on the (mostly glass) front door when I was a kid and putting my hand right through it. It took two operations and 46 stitches to get my hand back to normal, but it did give me a nifty little souvenir – a nice three inch scar up the back of my hand that people still ask about to this day.

Other than that, I think I've managed to avoid the consequences of my idiocy. At least the physical ones anyway.

Stupid things where I have hurt myself...Can I have my own thread for this one? There is no one dumbest thing that I've done...yes, I am accident prone...seriously accident prone.

Let's see, I have:
Stretched to reach a 50lb. case of salad dressing at work that was over 2 feet above my head (I have long arms) and dropped it on the other arm, spraining my shoulder.

Been walking through fairgrounds (I was working for a carnival at the time) after dark and slipped in a tire rut, spraining my foot.

Wasn't paying attention walking through my parents basement adn kicked my Dad's nordic track and dislocated of broke my toe (not sure which).

Leaving a friends place and forgot about the mini step he had and kicked it and definitely broke my toe.

Been in a rush 2 days before my wedding, trying to make dinner and the wedding cake and almost sliced a chunk of my thumb off on one of those v-slicers.

When I was seven I decided to jump off our (very high) garage roof holding an open golf umbrella. No, it didn't work. Yes, it hurt like a mothra when I smashed onto the driveway. And my wife wonders why I refuse to go skydiving with her...

Gravity said:

When I was seven I decided to jump off our (very high) garage roof holding an open golf umbrella. No, it didn't work. Yes, it hurt like a mothra when I smashed onto the driveway. And my wife wonders why I refuse to go skydiving with her...

Click to expand...

Don't get me started on stupid things I did as a child...like pound so hard on a storm window when I was two that I broke it and stuck my hands through it (that time I didn't get hurt) or running to answer the telephone and stopping on the throw rug, which lead to me getting 7 blue stitches in my forehead (I stopped, the rug did not..I went into the rocking chair runner head first).

Yesterday I went out back at my house, where I know there are assorted boards with nails sticking out, in my flip-flops. I stepped on one, my kitchen ended up looking like a murder scene, and I got a lovely tetanus shot this morning for my efforts.

One of the grossest things I've done to myself was very nearly drive a piece of Tinker Toy through the roof of my mouth when I was about 4. You know how your mom always told you never to run with a lollipop in your mouth??? That's why... The doctor was amazed I didn't literally kill myself.

When I was six, I was riding double on a bicycle and got my foot sucked into the spokes of the rear wheel. Shredded my ankle to the bone, sheared off the tip of said ankle bone, and I still have the scar. If I ever catch my kids riding double, I'll smush them and they know it. That's why your parents always warned you about riding double on a bike.

I'm a walking "Here's why you should never do this" example...

Very recently, I managed to hurt myself while standing completely still. I was talking to my boyfriend on the steps leading up to our porch, and all of the sudden my ankle twisted (I don't know how the hell it did it), and I still have a sprained ankle, more than a week later.

Another time, my sister and I were smoking a bit fo weed and thought it would be a brilliant idea to slide down the stairs with a mattress. The stairs are only 3 feet wide, and the matress is about 4 feet wide. So, instead of sliding, the mattress would kink up and launch my sister and I into the front door from an 8 foot height. It was a fun way to spend the evening, even after the bloody noses, bruises, and head lumps.

The summer before 6th grade, I cut my hand with a scissors when I was trying to open a bottle of fabric paint (I couldn't get the stupid plastic off - tried to cut it off and missed the bottle). This was the day before camp so I wasn't allowed to go swimming at all at camp, but on a plus side, I had to visit the nurses twice a day to clean it and I got to know them really well.

Also when I was younger I slammed my finger (I think my thumb) in either a screen door or a car door (don't really remember a lot of details about this one) but it just kept bleeding and bleeding. We had to go to the hospital and I don't remember a lot about it, but I had to stick my hand in some brown looking liquid and it hurt like heck.

When I was about 6 years old, I was sitting and watching tv while blowing bubbles. The chair I was sitting in flipped backwards and the bottle of bubbles poured into my mouth, and I ended up inhaling some of it. Mom took me to the hospital, and while we were waiting in the ER, I was running around to everyone else in the waiting room yelling, "I have rabies!" then coughing so a bunch of bubbles would start foaming at my mouth. The doctor told me to drink a lot of water and wait and I'll be fine, which relaxed my mother enough to yell at me for acting like an idiot on the way home.

I often say that I'm so clumsy I've upgraded myself to accident prone, and it's gotten much worse in the past month. My most recent mishap happened a couple months ago. I was walking to my car after buying produce at the market, looked down to admire my fresh toenail polish (it matched my flip flops), and promptly fell on my ass. The curbs here are sloped and get very slippery when dusty. I stepped on the edge and went down in front of half the town. Because I'm so clumsy I've perfected the art of leaping to my feet like nothing happened, so I continued to my car and drove off, avoiding eye contact. I waited till I got home to pick out the dirt and stones from my leg, elbow, and hands.

I've done so many stupid things I don't know where to begin!

A couple of weeks ago I wasn't paying attention and ran into the carriage light on my parents garage and sliced my eyebrow open. No stitches required but it looked nasty.

Last week I ran into the cedar chest at the end of my bed and left a nasty black bruise in my thigh the size of a grapefruit.

Oh and I can't forget to mention the night I punched my wall (instead of my exhusbands face) and hit a stud behind the drywall. I ended up with a trip to the hospital, several x-rays, a stern lecture from the ER doctor, a high five from the nurse (a friend of mine) and several days with my hand wrapped.

melaniehoo said:

I often say that I'm so clumsy I've upgraded myself to accident prone, and it's gotten much worse in the past month. My most recent mishap happened a couple months ago. I was walking to my car after buying produce at the market, looked down to admire my fresh toenail polish (it matched my flip flops), and promptly fell on my ass. The curbs here are sloped and get very slippery when dusty. I stepped on the edge and went down in front of half the town. Because I'm so clumsy I've perfected the art of leaping to my feet like nothing happened, so I continued to my car and drove off, avoiding eye contact. I waited till I got home to pick out the dirt and stones from my leg, elbow, and hands.

Click to expand...

ACK! I remember sitting at the kitchen table having my mom dig little pebbles out of my palms for like an hour and a half, then pouring peroxide in them.

It was my brother's fault though...he took me bike riding through a gravel parking lot and didn't take me home right after I wiped out.

misslissy said:

The summer before 6th grade, I cut my hand with a scissors when I was trying to open a bottle of fabric paint (I couldn't get the stupid plastic off - tried to cut it off and missed the bottle). This was the day before camp so I wasn't allowed to go swimming at all at camp, but on a plus side, I had to visit the nurses twice a day to clean it and I got to know them really well.

Also when I was younger I slammed my finger (I think my thumb) in either a screen door or a car door (don't really remember a lot of details about this one) but it just kept bleeding and bleeding. We had to go to the hospital and I don't remember a lot about it, but I had to stick my hand in some brown looking liquid and it hurt like heck.

Click to expand...

That reminds me, when I was about 12, I decided it would be fun to cut open a plastic bottle with a serated blade. I was cutting down toward my hand, moving rather vigorously with the blade and the blade came out while the plastic stayed behind. I sliced along the side of my finger a good inch long and I could see bone. Though I didn't tell anyone, I bandaged it up really good with some butterfly bandages and kept it clean. It never got infected nor did I ever get stitches and no one noticed for a few days until it started to heal and by then it was pointless to take me to the doctor. I have a nice little scar from that one.

The other was when I was about 3 or 4 years old. I was jumping on a hidabed. My oldest sister warned me three or four times to stop jumping or I'd get hurt. "nu-huh!" SPLAT!

Yeah...

During my jumping the springs had become exposed. I landed just right and a spring went righ through my lip and split out. I was bawling, asking "Why did you let it hurt me?" My sister was trying to not cry, she was about 16, I was bleeding everywhere. My lip was splitting further with all the screaming. She promised me that she wouldn't take me to the doctor if I stopped crying.

"Okay." Instant halt. I don't know how I did it, but I did. She put a butterfly bandage on my lip and I went off playing. It's my favorite scar because I can feel it inside my mouth with my tongue, and it's probably my favorite because I don't remember the pain.

I've been stepping on a bunch of nails and glass lately. I run around barefoot a lot, and because my feet have toughened from walking on pavement, I can't feel it when something sharp goes through my foot unless it's something really big. For a while, I had to come home every ngiht and sit for an hour to pick shards of glass, small nails, and rocks and stuff from my foot. I've decided to get into wearing shoes again because of it.