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Maryn
07-19-2008, 02:01 AM
My husband and I have been engaged in a friendly disagreement for the last several years. He has lots of trouble staying asleep, and often gets up for an hour or two during the night. He manages to work all day, but once home, he tends to fall asleep early in the evening, like 7:30 or 8:00, with the remote in a death grip, then wake again around 9:30 or 10:00, with enough energy to do something, like start a movie. That's too late for me, since I got up at 6:30 and didn't take a single two-hour nap. Adding further to his sleep problem is that if he's dozed off, he has trouble falling asleep at his regular time.

Anyway, he's all defensive about it, even though I'm not mad. I just want him to relinquish the remote, and not get pissy if I leave him snoring on the sofa if there's nothing on. Neither of these seems likely to happen.

So this morning, I ask if it's okay if we plan to watch this movie on TV tonight rather than renting something.

"Sure," he says. "I'm going to fall asleep anyway, probably. Bad night."

"I know. I'm just going through the motions, pretending you'd be around to watch a movie."

"I sleep because I don’t sleep. I don’t sleep because I sleep. And vice versa."

You gotta love it.

What has your husband or wife said that made complete sense and no sense?

Maryn, who was still chuckling as he left for work

Captshady
07-19-2008, 02:38 AM
I'd get him to a respiratory therapist, and have him prescribe a sleep study.

alleycat
07-19-2008, 02:45 AM
Well, it wasn't my wife, but my best friend . . .

One time my friend was trying to figure out what to get her father for Father's Day. I was offering a few suggestions, but apparently he's one of those people who already has everything. My own father had died of cancer about five years earlier.

Finally, my friends says to me:

"You're lucky, you don't have a father and have to deal with this."

Then she realized what she'd just said.

Silver King
07-19-2008, 04:34 AM
From my wife, after I asked her a simple little question that had to do with intimacy:

"Are you out of your mind? Seriously, I think you're crazy sometimes. What do you think I am, anyway? Some kinda deposit for a sperm donor?"

Man, I love that woman. :)

Cassiopeia
07-19-2008, 06:11 AM
I'd quote some interesting things my new SO says, but *ahem* he's an AW'er and I can't get away with it. ;)

thethinker42
07-19-2008, 07:28 AM
What has your husband or wife said that made complete sense and no sense?

My husband's Best Ever:

We were just starting to try to have a baby (before we joined the dark side of Childfree By Choice), and I was worried about what being pregnant would do to my body, which wasn't helping my already shaky body image. My DH, being the uber sweet supportive husband he is, was trying to reassure me.

He MEANT to say:

"You'll look sexy when you're pregnant" and "you already look sexy". (he really does think pregnant women are sexy)

What came out of his mouth:

"You already look pregnant."

LOL

willfulone
07-19-2008, 08:24 AM
I'd get him to a respiratory therapist, and have him prescribe a sleep study.

A respiratory therapist does not prescribe anything. The doctor does. The RCP just does the sleep study testing for the doc in a clinical (usually hospital - OP) setting. (I am an RCP).

That said, this is good advice if it is more than just a disturbance of his own making (which his does sound like it may be).

The study will offer suggestions on how to promote better sleep hours and waking hours so that patterns like these do not develop or to stop them from continuing. I will give you the condenced pamphlet version given to people who go for sleep studies. Mind you, this is barring any true sleep disorder unrelated to bad habits, or a physical condition like Apnea. Though this same advice is given to people with REM disorders, it is best to get a study if there are complications other than poor habits of the sleeper. And remember, this is just the guide to better sleep and should not be taken as medical advice or to replace the advice of your own medical professional who knows your history.

1. Never use the bed/bedroom for anything other than it's intended purposes (sex IS a purpose). Beds should promote restfullness and sleep (or intimacy). One with a sleep disturbance should not read, watch TV, etc - in bed. They should go to bed with the intent to sleep (or the other) and that is all.

2. It should be dark if possible to promote sleep more readily.

3. Napping promotes poor nighttime sleep. Poor nighttime sleep promotes napping. Terrible circle. This habit needs to be broken. No sleep should take place outside the bed (for those with sleep disturbances). He should try to soldier through without a nap by doing something to actively engage his brain and/or body when he feels sleep coming at times other than nighttime. This activity should thwart the nap and promote more tiredness later for nighttime sleep.

4. He should not lay down (hopefully he cannot sleep sitting up?) anytime other than when he goes to bed. He should sit in a chair that does not promote relaxation to the point he falls into a nap (for those with sleep disturbances).

5. Cut out sugars and caffeine all together. Not only after certain hours of the day. Sugar promotes highs and the drops in blood sugar cause tiredness and desire to nap. We all know caffeine does the same type thing. So, get rid of them, the initial lows of the withdrawl will be replaced with more energy (YAY! They have energy to stay awake) once they are done with the withdrawl. (This is for people with sleep disturbances).

6. Bedtime routines are a good thing to set up. Just like for a child, a person with a sleep disturbance can benefit from the same type of scheduling.

7. Showers right before bed can refreshen and cause alertness, while a bath will have the opposite effect. Do the bath, rather than the shower if you can manage (and muster) it. OR, just shower in the am.

8. If one wakes in the night, do not leave the bed if at all possible to do an activity. Something like 70% of recoupretive benefits of the body's needs can be had by resting in the dark, even if sleep is not had. If frustration occurs, it is best to leave the bed and do something quiet that promotes rest (read a really bad book that will put you to sleep) for 1/2 hour and attempt the bed and sleep again. If one can lay there without becoming frustrated, it is best to do so. The rest itself will STILL benefit the person and they will be more rested than if they actively do something else. The benefit is less tired the next day, the more likely no nap needed.

This is not related to his sleep issue:

Anchor the remote to the arm of the chair he sits in while he works this issue out. If he manages to fall asleep in the chair, you will still be able to get at the remote for yourself.

Good luck.

Christine

oswann
07-19-2008, 10:51 AM
Buy another tv.

Os.

Robert Toy
07-19-2008, 10:54 AM
Or a different husband?

oswann
07-19-2008, 10:57 AM
Or a different husband?

Which ever is cheaper. Flip for it, I say.


Os.

Maryn
07-19-2008, 05:11 PM
I Keanu still single? I don't care when he sleeps...

dageezer
07-19-2008, 11:06 PM
My wife asked me to do something once, I told her that I was busy and she said,

"ok, then go back doing whatever you were doing before I asked you to do something you're not going to do before you do somthing else."

Huh?

StoryG27
07-19-2008, 11:22 PM
My husband used to talk in his sleep a lot when we were first married and one time he was talking and I hadn't understood him, and I said, "What?"

"They're wasting it."

I'm still half asleep. "Who is wasting what?"

He gives a frustrated grunt. "Right there. They're wasting it."

I can tell he is really frustrated. After all, in his mind I should clearly see what he is talking about. "Wasting what?" I am trying not to giggle.

Now he is going beyond frustrated. "The dirt! They are turning the knob and waisting all that dirt! It's just rolling down the hill."

I laughed so hard. As he later told me, he was dreaming about when he used to work pouring concrete and the dirt being wasted was needed for concrete and his coworkers were the ones wasting it.

willfulone
07-20-2008, 12:48 AM
I don't have a "darndest" but I have a DUMBEST. My hubby (at the time, he is an ex now...) admitted to cheating on me. Not the surprise of the century. He was not having sex with me after we wed (but was a rabbit on steriods prior) unless I could get him tipsy and lead the way (even then, I only managed to get it 6 times in 3 years - he was on his way out the door without the cheating, I was not going to live 50 years without sex - and I would never cheat). Anyway, that is the simplified background for your amusement. Here is his explaination for why he cheated:

"It's your fault. You trusted me when I went out at night. You never bothered to call me while I was out to check on me. You never nagged me about what I was doing or where I was. YOU brought this on yourself. If you had only "policed" me, instead of trusted me, I would never have cheated on you."

If anyone can explain that backward logic (really explain how it was my fault), I will rep you on 20 of your posts. It's only 20 points, but still....


Christine

Seaclusion
07-20-2008, 01:00 AM
That is the same logic that says 'it's not illegal unless you get caught'

On the other hand, if you were a nagging, spying, untrusting pain in the rear, he probably would have cheated and used those reasons for doing it. I don't think you could have come out ahead on this on no matter what you did.

Richard

Melenka
07-20-2008, 01:50 AM
Christine, that's right up there with this exchange with my cheating ex:

"Well you weren't doing the things I like."
"What did you ask for that I didn't do?"
"I didn't ask. You just didn't do them."
"And that's my fault how?"
"Well she did them."
"Did you ask her to?"

Dead silence.

"Yeah, we're done now."

Captshady
07-20-2008, 09:05 AM
I don't have a "darndest" but I have a DUMBEST. My hubby (at the time, he is an ex now...) admitted to cheating on me. Not the surprise of the century. He was not having sex with me after we wed (but was a rabbit on steriods prior) unless I could get him tipsy and lead the way (even then, I only managed to get it 6 times in 3 years - he was on his way out the door without the cheating, I was not going to live 50 years without sex - and I would never cheat). Anyway, that is the simplified background for your amusement. Here is his explaination for why he cheated:

"It's your fault. You trusted me when I went out at night. You never bothered to call me while I was out to check on me. You never nagged me about what I was doing or where I was. YOU brought this on yourself. If you had only "policed" me, instead of trusted me, I would never have cheated on you."

If anyone can explain that backward logic (really explain how it was my fault), I will rep you on 20 of your posts. It's only 20 points, but still....


Christine

LOL, it's like looking in a mirror! Although I'm willing to bet that most women will go on and tell you how right you are for refusing to limit your sex life like that, I'm sure my wife's friends are telling her how right she is in only giving it up that often.

freezer burned
07-20-2008, 10:36 AM
My husband used to talk in his sleep a lot when we were first married and one time he was talking and I hadn't understood him, and I said, "What?"

"They're waisting it."

I'm still half asleep. "Who is waisting what?"

He gives a frustrated grunt. "Right there. They're waisting it."

I can tell he is really frustrated. After all, in his mind I should clearly see what he is talking about. "Waisting what?" I am trying not to giggle.

Now he is going beyond frustrated. "The dirt! They are turning the knob and waisting all that dirt! It's just rolling down the hill."

I laughed so hard. As he later told me, he was dreaming about when he used to work pouring concrete and the dirt being waisted was needed for concrete and his coworkers were the ones waisting it.
You...misspelled...wasting...five times...in one post.

Melisande
07-20-2008, 11:16 AM
My Beloved Hubby has a way, and it is so hard to describe, to answer me one sentence too late, like;

Me; "Honey, would you water the plants, please?"

No reply....

Me; "Honey, if you don't want to water the plants, would you be kind enough to feed the fish?"

Hubby; "But they are drowned already!"

SPMiller
07-20-2008, 11:46 AM
I know a lot of people who honestly believe that if someone isn't magically guessing and doing all the things you want without being asked to, then cheating is completely justified.

Maryn
07-20-2008, 07:12 PM
You...misspelled...wasting...five times...in one post.This might have been better said in a private message, IMO. Especially in light of your signature line, it seems inappropriate to call someone out on spelling errors publicly.

You mispunctuated your ellipses four times, by the way.

Maryn, winking and returning us to the thread

StoryG27
07-20-2008, 07:22 PM
Thanks Maryn, that's what I was thinking too. I am a terrible speller and I admit it though, so I don't take it too hard.


Another "darnedest" for Hubby (again, talking in his sleep) was when he asked me, "How much air does it take to fill up Miss America?"

LOL! I had to laugh and talking with him, while still asleep, I figured out he was talking about the Statue of Liberty and in his dream logic, she was inflatable. Too funny.

willfulone
07-20-2008, 08:11 PM
Thanks Maryn, that's what I was thinking too. I am a terrible speller and I admit it though, so I don't take it too hard.


Another "darnedest" for Hubby (again, talking in his sleep) was when he asked me, "How much air does it take to fill up Miss America?"

LOL! I had to laugh and talking with him, while still asleep, I figured out he was talking about the Statue of Liberty and in his dream logic, she was inflatable. Too funny.

I am a poor speller too. I try to spell everything write ;), but don't always. I, too, shrug when I get a PM telling me about a misspell. I try to go back and fix them, but may have missed some. (And I DID warn everyone in my very first post here about my spelling....)

Maryn
07-20-2008, 08:16 PM
Storygirl's last one reminded me of one from our newlywed days. I was soundly sleeping when Mr. Maryn cupped my breast with one hand, a little roughly, which was unlike him. "You got another one of these?" he demanded.

"Uh, yes," I said.

"What do you call it?"

When I didn't have an immediate answer, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning, he remembered none of it, and didn't remember a dream that might be related either.

Maryn, who still gets a chuckle out of this

willfulone
07-20-2008, 08:20 PM
I know a lot of people who honestly believe that if someone isn't magically guessing and doing all the things you want without being asked to, then cheating is completely justified.

You are right I know people like that too.

His OTHER "pearl of wisdom" regarding his "lifestyle choice" (as he called cheating):

"I wanted to be married when I was single, but I wanted to be single when I got married. I got married so I could have you and no one else could and continued dating so I could feel like I was single."

Yeah, he has been divorced a number of times since our marriage.....

Bubastes
07-20-2008, 08:23 PM
"I wanted to be married when I was single, but I wanted to be single when I got married. I got married so I could have you and no one else could and continued dating so I could feel like I was single."


:Wha:

willfulone
07-20-2008, 08:25 PM
LOL, it's like looking in a mirror! Although I'm willing to bet that most women will go on and tell you how right you are for refusing to limit your sex life like that, I'm sure my wife's friends are telling her how right she is in only giving it up that often.

You may be right about your wife's friends. I have sisters and they told me to "quit complaining" about the lack. They said I should be happy he did not bother me with "such things" daily, weekly, monthly....

willfulone
07-20-2008, 08:29 PM
:Wha:

Yeah,that is the face I made when he told me his "pearl". I am sure of it. I was so stunned it took a minute or two for the pisstation to set in.

Christine