Sex

It sounds like an issue your mom needs to get past. Write the book you want. The rest will fall into place, IMO.

Alpha Echo said:

Now that I've got your attention....

I'm going through a lot of stuff right now, and recording everything...my thoughts and feelings and the facts. I'm considering writing a memoir - I definitely have enough drama.

My question is this - how do you get past the thought of your mother (or father) reading about your sex life?

Not that every detail would be recorded, but say the first time with someone you love...someone who plays a major roll in your life. That can be a very spiritual, emotional thing and very necessary in a memoir. But my mother is very religious and hates the fact that I had sex before marriage...she'd hate even more to read about it. Especially if it was a pretty hot scene (which in real life it was, so I'd want to convey that)

Any idea how to get past that?

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Marisa Tomei in an interview stated that while she was aware that her roles tend to be of the "sluttish" nature, she advises her parents NOT to attend the release parties because well, they don't wanna see that.

Now, I'm sure you'd want your parents to be proud of your accomplishment, the book - not your sexlife - just let them know. You are writing a life story, it involves YOUR life and what YOU'VE done, and quite simply they don't have to read it. Or have them skip that chapter(s).

I agree with Jennifer, but I'd like to suggest that you not discuss the book and the sex component until it's sold.

You know your mother better than I, however, if you believe she'll try to talk you out of it or will continously bring up the subject that may interupt your creative flow.

I've reread your post - twice. (After all, you DID get my attention)

And it seems to me there are two issues here.

The first, is that you are KEEPING A JOURNAL. Important moments in you life that you really feel the need to write about.

So write whats important, about events, about how they affect you, about how you feel. A journal is a PERSONAL instrument. It's best written TO/FOR yourself. I find the 'internal censor' creeping in from time to time - "What if I die and so and so reads this?" But that's not the purpose of a journal. You ALWAYS have to deal with your own internal censor - try not to drag in an imagined censor as well. The point being the journal is for your eyes ONLY.

If she pries - she gets to deal with what she uncovers. You cannot control how she feels. She is responsible for those feelings - not you.

SECOND ISSUE - As I understand your posting, is that these writings might/will inform a memoir? Great, keep full detailed notes - and when you write the memoir you can shape it for the intended audience - censor or not, 'euphamisms' or frank - whatever the chosen tone is supposed to be.


Don't get it 'right' - get it written.

When my mom reads my story - the first word out of her mouth will probably start with a W - but I don't care. Cause it will be one hell of a story.

jennifer75 said:

When my mom reads my story - the first word out of her mouth will probably start with a W - but I don't care. Cause it will be one hell of a story.

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I like that there, to be forthright in your writings, but aren't we all forgetting that our parents had a sex life also, or we might not be here to tell our stories, i am a grandfather twice over & i still love sex.

Amen for that!

Sorry, just spontaneoulsy popping into this thread. The word "sex" definitely got my attention. Though, truthfully, I've begun exploring other facets of my writing future. Typically, I hang out in the freelancers forum, but today, I lurked, and posted, in poetry and and life story writing. I must be going through a professional growth spurt or something!

Anyhoo, Alpha Echo, I have considered the ramifications of writing my life story, such as it is, many times. My worries stem not just from members of my family, but also friends. I think there are good suggestions here, though. And, if I may be so bold, I'm going to take them to heart.

I'm in the middle of writing a memoir that is 100% truthful. That fact will make members of my family take me off of Christmas card lists . At the end of the day, I lay it all out because it's the only way I know how to do it. If I start thinking about which sibling or parent to spare, I won't do the work justice. Good luck!

Alpha Echo said:

My question is this - how do you get past the thought of your mother (or father) reading about your sex life?

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Easy! Kill your parents, and then you'll be notorious enough to sell your sexy memoir.

I heart Siddow!

Siddow said:

Easy! Kill your parents, and then you'll be notorious enough to sell your sexy memoir.

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Wonderful advice. Then you can toss in a murder mystery to boot!

soleary said:

I'm in the middle of writing a memoir that is 100% truthful.

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Aint it supposed to be???

That fact will make members of my family take me off of Christmas card lists . At the end of the day, I lay it all out because it's the only way I know how to do it. If I start thinking about which sibling or parent to spare, I won't do the work justice. Good luck!

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Oooh juicy. Love it!

If a put a lime rind on the top of my head, will it function as creativity cap?

My parents never talk about the fact that my MC performs sexual favors... it just kind of never comes up. I don't know if I'd be that uncomfortable talking about it because I'm rather comfortable with my own sex life, but I'm not going to bring it up and find out!

You don't have to mention it to her (or otherwise make a fuss about it to her.) Kind of like when you were a kid (if you were anything like me!) you'd act all nonchalant if you were thinking you might be getting away with something. You'd NEVER have mentioned it to mom or dad that you'd done what you did. And if they didn't bring it up or scold you, you were in the clear. It might still work here. =)

It's all a moot point until it gets published and appears in local bookstores. Until then, the best advice is to write the most powerful and well crafted story possible.

Well, quite frankly, I tell them nothing. I don't tell you guys either.

I write fiction, but sex scenes are in most of my novels and my mom reads them. I give her "skip this if you want" tags when she reads my stuff. She once corrected a grammar mistake in one of the scenes, so I think she opted not to skip it. I guess sex was always an open topic, never very taboo for me, so even though there is an awkwardness to knowing my family has or will read those scenes, I can get over it and figure they'll skip that part if they want, but like it or not, it's part of the story that needs to be told.

I faced the same conflict in my writing in regard to my children. If I ever get published how are my kids going to receive some of the erotic or borderline degenerate material. I suppose you could always tell your family members that a certain degree of "fiction" needed to be added to the story in order to market it better, if for no other reason than to spare their sensibilities.