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View Full Version : Side effects, while rare, may include:



JoeEkaitis
07-17-2008, 08:37 AM
Dizziness

Vomiting

Dry mouth

Headache

Nausea

Dreams of dancing naked with Rosie O'Donnell

Voting for the late Pat Paulsen as a write-in presidential candidate

Speaking with a Flemish accent

Adam Israel
07-17-2008, 08:57 AM
Enlarged earlobes

Death by electrocution

Frogs

Hairy fingernails

Shrinkage

benbradley
07-17-2008, 09:27 AM
Sexual dysfunction.

Getting published.

StephanieFox
07-17-2008, 10:40 AM
Delayed beeping

Inability to harmonize

spontaneous caustic commentary

Sweetcorns

t0neg0d
07-17-2008, 11:42 AM
If you experience signs of discomfort, or your liver falls out of your ass, discontinue use and contact your doctor immediately.

Jenan Mac
07-17-2008, 05:20 PM
Do not operate heavy machinery while using. (on bottle of Viagra)

t0neg0d
07-17-2008, 05:24 PM
Do not operate heavy machinery while using. (on bottle of Viagra)

Guess they have a 'one large tool per customer' policy >.<

creamofmushroom
07-17-2008, 07:35 PM
turning into a medley of unflattering rainbow colours

developing fins

spontaneous urges to whistle "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" while your boss is making his daily rounds :)

Nymtoc
07-17-2008, 09:00 PM
skin problems
confusion
abrupt changes of opinion
laughing at one's own bad jokes
tendency to sing unfunny parody lyrics (for example, "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran...")

:D

shakeysix
07-17-2008, 09:08 PM
an urge to wear polyester and walk down a street singing falsetto with your twin brothers

auntybug
07-17-2008, 09:37 PM
Over use of AW may cause you to animate yourself when talking to real people.

*she says as she finger quotes the word animate*

alleycat
07-17-2008, 09:38 PM
The urge to run naked through a cornfield.

JoeEkaitis
07-17-2008, 09:50 PM
Cravings for lutefisk, menudo or balut.

Phoning tobacconists with the old "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" prank call.

Thoughts of going to Disneyland and asking "Where's Bugs Bunny? Where's the Road Runner?"

DeleyanLee
07-17-2008, 09:55 PM
My father's description of The Pill (in the 1970's):

Causes weight gain, acne, altered libido, depression, breast tenderness, increased blood pressure, nausea, vomiting and facial skin discoloration.

Side effects: Prevents pregnancy.

JoeEkaitis
07-18-2008, 02:58 AM
Seek medical attention if your eyes pop out of their sockets and careen around the room like a multi-ball round of pinball.

Discontinue use if you start believing reality TV is the same thing as reality.

Do not administer to children under the age of 12. Although this product poses no health threat to children under the age of 12, why should they get any relief? They don't even pay taxes, much less help with the rent!

Ziljon
07-18-2008, 03:09 AM
My favorite, from weight loss drug Alli:

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work
You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.

shakeysix
07-18-2008, 04:31 AM
may cause drowsiness. if drowsiness occurs while driving, pull over. YIKES! like that talking heads song--sleeping on the interstate.--s6

Matera the Mad
07-18-2008, 05:28 AM
Do not take with a grain of salt, and discontinue use altogether if you are caught ripping your clothes off and running out the door crying "Hoon, hooooon!"

Matera the Mad
07-22-2008, 06:04 AM
Has been known to cause adverb reactions in persons taking Versetal or Rhymetrin.

Discontinue use if severe pronunciation occurs.

benbradley
07-22-2008, 06:14 AM
Excess flatulence.

Matera the Mad
07-22-2008, 06:43 AM
Dribbling ink
Run-on plots
Buttstucktochairitis
Inflammation of the hucklebone

Write4U2
07-22-2008, 10:37 AM
May cause:

skipping to my lou;

severe allergic reaction to Judy Garland movies;

strong desire to fondle Brad Pitt; and

dysfunctionality of tongue in cheek syndrome.

shakeysix
07-22-2008, 05:50 PM
old age may cause whole years of your life to fade to one or two unpleasant experiences--s6

talkwrite
07-22-2008, 06:30 PM
Transitioning from non fiction to fiction may cause desensitization of nerve endings and misconceptions of reality.

StephanieFox
07-23-2008, 02:54 AM
Side effects may include

stump grinding,

tendency to switch political affiliations,

annarborism,

ferrets.

Nymtoc
07-23-2008, 02:59 AM
Imagining that you are the Decider.

:crazy:

otterman
07-23-2008, 03:48 AM
If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, make a few movies.

C.bronco
07-23-2008, 05:06 AM
Side effects can be
apoplexy
thoughts of suicide
decreased credit rating
painful boils
hairy palms
bulimia

benbradley
07-23-2008, 05:21 AM
Side effects can be
...
hairy palms
Diminished Eyesight (http://www.amazon.com/Can-Just-Till-Need-Glasses/dp/0931948819/)
Blindness

Matera the Mad
07-23-2008, 05:54 AM
Morbid fascination with rabbits
Earwax decay

May also cause bitrot when applied to computers.

Melenka
07-23-2008, 07:54 AM
the sudden urge to learn how to use a gun

Chameleon
07-23-2008, 07:59 AM
spontaneous loss of the liver

benbradley
07-23-2008, 08:44 AM
Strange voices telling one what to do.

creamofmushroom
07-23-2008, 05:12 PM
the need to howl like a wolf whenever you're in an exclusive restaurant

slcboston
07-23-2008, 06:51 PM
treating your socks like puppets in public spaces... without washing them first.

cyates
07-24-2008, 05:33 AM
[May cause:]

silly walk syndrome
death by chocolate

Matera the Mad
07-24-2008, 06:34 AM
May cause cessation of neverending stories if taken too frequently.

Do not type over 120 wpm or handle heavy plots.

If loss of clipboard information occurs frequently, see your physician in a friendly light.

StephanieFox
07-25-2008, 02:16 AM
Side effects may include

Over or under eating

heavy or shallow breathing

runny or dry nose

mania or depression

hot or cold flashes

flushed face or extreme paleness

crying or dry eyes

Williebee
07-25-2008, 02:27 AM
Once after a car accident I was told, You've suffered, or are suffering from shock. You may have dizziness or a headache, and perhaps some nausea. "If you have trouble waking up, come see us."

BlueLucario
07-25-2008, 03:43 AM
An erection lasting more than three hours.

Hold on I thought thaT was a good thing! :ROFL: Try walking around in public!

Matera the Mad
07-25-2008, 06:35 AM
If you experience twenty or more of these side effects in the course of an hour, call your undertaker.

benbradley
07-25-2008, 07:20 AM
May cause OAD (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1703421#post1703421). Check underwear frequently.

Matera the Mad
07-26-2008, 04:59 AM
May cause running off at the mouth, verbosity, or sentence fragmentation in susceptible individuals.

May result in exaggerated marysueish behavior if taken with fan-fiction.

Do not apply to internal dialog.

BlueLucario
07-26-2008, 04:56 PM
Scratch that. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, walk out in public.

JoeEkaitis
07-26-2008, 10:36 PM
Discontinue use if your behavior causes others to experience severe irritation.

Your doctor may prescribe a larger dosage, just because it's fun to see what happens.

Prolonged use may make you believe you really can prepare one of Rachael Ray's "30-Minute Meals" in thirty minutes.

Yeshanu
07-26-2008, 11:49 PM
May cause ego inflation.

Matera the Mad
07-28-2008, 05:50 AM
Do not take any other medication without first consulting your beta reader.

May exacerbate chronic apostrophitis.

JoeEkaitis
07-28-2008, 08:17 PM
Seek immediate psychological help if Dr. Phil starts making sense.

talkwrite
07-29-2008, 07:21 PM
Succumbing to television preachers promises and instructions will cause depleted bank accounts (yours, not theirs) and a continuance of all the illnesses and bad luck you were suffering from when you initially pledged your money .

benbradley
07-29-2008, 08:58 PM
May also cause fainting.

Matera the Mad
07-30-2008, 08:08 AM
Discontinue use if you see more than one man in black at your door.

Renfaery
07-30-2008, 08:34 AM
Side effects may also include an overabundance of cats, minor to severe caffiene dependency, the inability to put down your laptop computer, and/or a strong desire to write in a notebook while driving

Tink
07-31-2008, 04:39 PM
Side effects may also include inattentiveness in other activity other than this one

JoeEkaitis
07-31-2008, 07:44 PM
Women who are pregnant should not take this medication unless they don't mind having a child who is bummed out that The Osmonds are no longer touring.

BrookieCookie777
08-03-2008, 03:39 AM
Growing an extra toe
Hairy intestines
Scitzophrenicly eating bananas
Urge to dance naked at Walmart
Excessive gas

BrookieCookie777
08-03-2008, 03:40 AM
Do not take this medicine with water. Like with other medications, this can make you spontanesouly combust.

JoeEkaitis
08-05-2008, 12:55 AM
Excessive use may lead to excessive use.

Matera the Mad
08-06-2008, 05:25 AM
* Cessation of desire to read fan-fiction
* Lessening of comma usage
* Varying degrees of disillusionment
* Allergic reactions to participial phrases

shakeysix
08-06-2008, 05:45 AM
mutton chop sideburns

benbradley
08-06-2008, 05:56 AM
Literary agents may notice in queries the odor of desperation.

t0neg0d
08-06-2008, 02:20 PM
An erection lasting more than three hours.

Hold on I thought thaT was a good thing! :ROFL: Try walking around in public!

If you do experience an erection lasting longer than three hours, f**k going to see your doctor, go see a professional. >.<

HeronW
08-06-2008, 02:45 PM
May cause anomalous patches of hair growth with unique ecosystems that will be declared endangered and be protected by Greenpeace.

JoeEkaitis
08-06-2008, 09:00 PM
A small percentage of patients may experience actual symptom relief.

benbradley
08-06-2008, 09:02 PM
Frequent postings to Internet discussion fora.

JoeEkaitis
08-06-2008, 11:18 PM
This product may be taken as long as needed, but as with all medications of this type, there is a small risk of engaging in Emo Philips (http://www.emophilips.com) impersonation.

Matera the Mad
08-07-2008, 06:23 AM
In rare cases, may inhibit pun generation

:eek:

talkwrite
08-07-2008, 09:51 PM
May cause irrational behavior in politicians thus making them appear normal.

JoeEkaitis
08-07-2008, 11:19 PM
Porfortner's Syndrome, inflammation of the claven and minor irritation of the flurpenoids have been reported in patients who regularly hyperschlurvenate when kranching microjeebies.

Matera the Mad
08-08-2008, 06:25 AM
Discontinue use at the first sign of provergenistation.

StephanieFox
09-29-2008, 09:00 AM
Side effects may include crouching, snorting, snarfeling and eating dirt.

Discontinue if you are unable to open the childproof bottle.

Nymtoc
09-29-2008, 09:33 AM
Side effects may include believing that you can be President of the United States because you were chairman of your neighborhood Tulip Festival Committee last year.

:e2woo:

Pagey's_Girl
09-29-2008, 11:08 PM
Side effects, while rare, may include nausea, dizziness, headache, irresisitable urges to play air guitar to "Smoke On The Water," abnormal fantasies about the neighbor's Doberman Pinchser, the inability to spell Doberman Pinscher, believing one is God and/or Jimmy Page and the urge to sing show tunes while dancing nekkid under the sprinklers on your front lawn while wearing a balloon animal on your head.

Dale Emery
09-30-2008, 12:34 AM
May cause a rift in death's design.

StephanieFox
09-30-2008, 01:08 AM
Side effects include the belief that you understand Democrats and Republicans. Do not use during an election year.

Pagey's_Girl
10-02-2008, 07:43 PM
Contact your health care provider immediatley if you experience a sudden overwhelming urge to consume mass quantities of burritos, as this may be a sign of a rare but potentially fatal and/or flammable side effect.

Deccydiva
10-02-2008, 08:55 PM
May cause outbreaks of sensible conversations if mixed with large quantities of alcohol and inhibit projectile vomiting.

Pagey's_Girl
10-02-2008, 10:27 PM
Warning: Side effects may include believing that you're a bus.

Hummingbird
10-03-2008, 07:51 AM
May cause swelling of the lips so bad that people will wonder if you were a plastic surgeon's experiment.

Nymtoc
10-03-2008, 12:01 PM
Side effects may cause you to want to play parcheesi with every member of the opposite sex you meet.
:ROFL:

Pagey's_Girl
10-03-2008, 09:34 PM
Warning: May cause you to morph into Jocelyn Wilderstein.

Deccydiva
10-03-2008, 10:26 PM
Do not take this medication if you drive machinery, drink alcohol, have a history of heart disease, diabetes or a yearning to live more than one more day.

Hummingbird
10-05-2008, 05:42 AM
Do not take while driving, drawing, writing, or breathing. Side effects may include spontaneous urges to play bumper cars, drawings of happy smiley-faced flowers, too many plot holes to count, and the lungs filling with grape jelly.

Pagey's_Girl
10-06-2008, 09:54 PM
Side effects may include breaking out in a rash shaped like a map of Pakistan.

johnnycannuk
11-27-2008, 12:24 AM
Side effects may include watery eyes, defecating from the ears, singing in French and an uncontrolled urge to vote for and donate to the Republican Party. If symptoms persist, bathe for 20 minutes in hot water and Epsom salts while holding a clock radio before seeing a doctor.

Albedo of Zero
11-27-2008, 03:15 AM
Total shutdown may occur in the midd_

atwistedmind
11-27-2008, 07:24 AM
Side effects may include: Mitochondrial decomposition and bleeding from you hair.

flyingtart
11-27-2008, 01:13 PM
Inability to tap-dance.
Ability to tap-dance.
Crush on Fred Astaire.
Aversion to Ginger Rogers.
Bunions.

StephanieFox
11-28-2008, 11:01 PM
Itchy feet
Itchy buttocks
Knee buckles
Screaming

shakeysix
11-29-2008, 02:56 AM
may cause painful fusion of one or more digits

HeronW
11-29-2008, 03:13 AM
...may induce painful torsion, tongue lolling and uninhibited drooling.

StephanieFox
12-26-2008, 06:17 AM
cattle mutilations
factoid spouting
toe tapping

shakeysix
12-26-2008, 08:19 AM
symptoms may include an insatiable urge to lick asbestos shingles--s6

StephanieFox
12-27-2008, 02:03 AM
itchy ears
parmesian sweat
Orphan Anne syndrome

LaceWing
12-27-2008, 03:21 PM
May cause impatience or amplify the annoying tones of others' voices. If a dose must be taken in the presence of your mother-in-law, prevent head injury by maintaining adequate distance from brick walls.

cahotage
01-12-2009, 06:42 PM
Making spontaneous motor boat noises in your drink glass at restaurants.

Singing fiddle-dee-dee in line at the market.

Gastroenteritis.