Didn't know exactly where to post this, so I chose the Roundtable. I need advice on a few lines in my MS related to correct form for British aristocracy. Please tell me if I am using the correct form:
(Narrator is saying this)...his wife, Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend, was a British aristocrat, making the family fair media game.
(An American friend is saying this) “Lady Elizabeth was always first to arrange charity events. She had a thriving decorating business among socialites who she prodded to help with her philanthropic interests.”
(Narrator is saying this) The British press, as well as the American press, droned on about the tragedy. Of particular interest was that Elizabeth was a British aristocrat. They hauled out stories on Peerage to show when and why Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend’s family received a title.
(British press interviewer) “Ms. Chandler,” asked Calvin Chaser, “How well did you know Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend?”
(A classmate from college) “Elizabeth and I were students together here at Oxford, actually. Elizabeth stopped by to say hello when she and her daughter, Hayley, were here on a recent visit to the university. It was brilliant to see Elizabeth and talk over old times. We were such good friends. Mind you, Hayley was thrilled that she had been awarded a Rhodes scholarship.”
(The son of a titled British friend of the deceased)
“Mum, have you watched the news today about Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend and her husband, John Hamilton?”
“I’m so sorry, Mum. They say her daughter is still in a coma. Hope she pulls through. Elizabeth’s death must be a dreadful loss for you. I know you're mourning the friendship that could have been.”
Finally, I want to convey that the woman in the doorway had a masked expression. She gave away none of her feelings as she stood there. she hid behind an expressionless face. Like a sheet or veil over her face. Not exactly sinister but bordering on it. (She is my antagonist - the baddie of the book.)
Peter hung up the receiver and pressed his fingertips against his eyes. Aware of a faint musky scent in the room, his attention was drawn to the doorway. Startled to see Zara Chandler standing there, he wondered how long she’d been listening to his conversation.
1. Her face was cloaked.
2. Her face wore an enigmatic expression.
3. Her face gave away none of her thoughts or feelings.
4. Her face ...
“Are you ready for me?” she asked.
(Narrator is saying this)...his wife, Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend, was a British aristocrat, making the family fair media game.
(An American friend is saying this) “Lady Elizabeth was always first to arrange charity events. She had a thriving decorating business among socialites who she prodded to help with her philanthropic interests.”
(Narrator is saying this) The British press, as well as the American press, droned on about the tragedy. Of particular interest was that Elizabeth was a British aristocrat. They hauled out stories on Peerage to show when and why Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend’s family received a title.
(British press interviewer) “Ms. Chandler,” asked Calvin Chaser, “How well did you know Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend?”
(A classmate from college) “Elizabeth and I were students together here at Oxford, actually. Elizabeth stopped by to say hello when she and her daughter, Hayley, were here on a recent visit to the university. It was brilliant to see Elizabeth and talk over old times. We were such good friends. Mind you, Hayley was thrilled that she had been awarded a Rhodes scholarship.”
(The son of a titled British friend of the deceased)
“Mum, have you watched the news today about Lady Elizabeth Hayles-Townsend and her husband, John Hamilton?”
“I’m so sorry, Mum. They say her daughter is still in a coma. Hope she pulls through. Elizabeth’s death must be a dreadful loss for you. I know you're mourning the friendship that could have been.”
Finally, I want to convey that the woman in the doorway had a masked expression. She gave away none of her feelings as she stood there. she hid behind an expressionless face. Like a sheet or veil over her face. Not exactly sinister but bordering on it. (She is my antagonist - the baddie of the book.)
Peter hung up the receiver and pressed his fingertips against his eyes. Aware of a faint musky scent in the room, his attention was drawn to the doorway. Startled to see Zara Chandler standing there, he wondered how long she’d been listening to his conversation.
1. Her face was cloaked.
2. Her face wore an enigmatic expression.
3. Her face gave away none of her thoughts or feelings.
4. Her face ...
“Are you ready for me?” she asked.
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