For fun - Write your own epitaph!

Here lies Matera the Mad;
Her brain was all that she had.
Now it's all rotten,
Gone and forgotten,
But her writing was not all that bad.

May these not be the only lines of mine you read.
I've taught about history for X years, now I am history
leave some flowers, i've got primary sources to interview.
Especially John Scotus Erieuglena, I want to know if it was really true
that his students stabbed him to death with his pens.

note to students and descendents, do let me know who wins the bet on who I come back as.
Try not to lose your shirt. Hock an heirloom for it, I'll haunt you till ya join me.
Continue the family history, currently I'm in a little over my head

Death, a genealogist's/historian's delight...

I'm going to take a more serious perspective on this question. I've told family that I'd prefer cremation, but in the event that I must be buried, I'd like my gravestone to have no date and, if tolerable, no name. And it will say only the following:

Why are you here?

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here i lay
with time to rest
friends forgotton
problems too
and all i want to do--

i'm not worried or sad
reincarnation is what i believe

but shooting out of the birth canal again--
makes me want to heave

Another serious spin, I've always been moved by Keats epitath: Here lies a man whose name was writ in water. I don't imagine I can be so profound. How about:

Moved. No forwarding address.

Appalachian Writer said:

Moved. No forwarding address.

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Thats not true, we still get DirectTV solicitations mailed to my house in my granduncle's name. He's been dead for 50 years, his wife 10.

here lies man's best friend
it wasn't a car that laid him low
it wasn't a bone that made him go
not a poison made him rest in peace
nor was it a horrible disease

it was a woman that brought his end
a lawnmower put accidently put into gear
and that was the end of my doggie dear

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home
Carved upon my stone
'My body lie, but still I roam'**


**with thanks to James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich (Gawd, I hope he don't come after me)
Wherever I May Roam
Word and music by J. Hetfield/L. Ulrich


Or, if I have to make up my own -

"I'm Dead? You have GOT to be kidding!"

I'm not very profound.

I died

And all I got

Was this crappy rock.

OR

I coulda been a contender.

Who lies broken beneath this stone?
Tis Kerr, alas, chilled to the bone.

One down, three left.

Cranky said:

I died

And all I got

Was this crappy rock.

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You're standing on my toes.

or - more serious

I didn't die. I'm sleeping. So keep it down, will ya?

Don't laugh. You'll be down here soon enough.

See you soon.

GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

Mine IS my epitaph. When your life's been littered with dead bodies it's really tough to get worked up about your own demise. It's just kind of, well, meh.

I won't be there, I'll be cremated and in a sealed Cookie Monster cookie jar on a shelf NOT in the kitchen, but people have said they'd like something to visit so I'll have a rock in the yard with the Hobbit thing on it. Maybe a nice tree next to it. A friend of mine came up with that for me years ago and it's been the only epitaph I've ever considered.



robeiaieiaieiaieiaie, that epitaph will freak people right out. They'll start digging madly.

Remember friends as you pass by, As you are now so once was I. As low as I you once must be, Prepare yourself and follow me

And there will be a robotic skeletal arm that will shoot out of the grave and grab their leg as they finish reading it.

By request, but more of a poem than an epitaph...

Here lies Haggis
With his hypo
And a Milkbone

Beer was considered
In lieu of a nice single malt
But we tapped the keg
And drained it in his honor

So instead of a coffin
We've stuffed him in it
The better to prepare him
To meet the Big Cheewahwah in the sky

Or to nap in the bosom of Jacyinth
Forever and ever
Ashes to ashes
And Scotch to Scotch

Cranky said:

Ashes to ashes
And Scotch to Scotch
[/I]

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Waiter, there's some ashes in my Scotch.

It gives a single malt that nice, smoky flavor.