PDA

View Full Version : Therapy



michelle25
07-08-2008, 05:39 AM
Have you ever written a true life story and felt that you wouldn't be 'healed' unless someone read it and validated your thoughts and let you know that you weren't alone? That was my goal in writing my book - it wasn't just for myself. I'm telling myself now that I can't let rejection from agents determine whether or not I overcome the demons about which I wrote. I have to get them out there no matter what. Sure, I could see an actual therapist, but (a) they aren't going to sit and read a manuscript which is what I want, and (b) part of feeling fulfilled as a person rests with my being successful at getting published. You see? I wouldn't be as bothered by rejection that is typical of the publishing industry if what I wrote wasn't so personal. I'd just go on to the next thing like everybody else. But I can't move on from this 'baby' of mine - my memoir. Your thoughts?

loosebricks
07-08-2008, 08:36 AM
(a) they aren't going to sit and read a manuscript which is what I want, and (b) part of feeling fulfilled as a person rests with my being successful at getting published. You see? I wouldn't be as bothered by rejection that is typical of the publishing industry if what I wrote wasn't so personal. I'd just go on to the next thing like everybody else. But I can't move on from this 'baby' of mine - my memoir. Your thoughts?

I had a therapist who made me write out every instance I could remember where I was embarrassed/humiliated, it did wonders. I would NEVER dream of letting anyone else read that list though.

Put it in a drawer and write something new, then when your new book is published, you can go back and rework the old memoir. (At least that's what i would do)

slsherwood
07-08-2008, 05:20 PM
Michelle: Have you ever written a true life story and felt that you wouldn't be 'healed' unless someone read it and validated your thoughts and let you know that you weren't alone?

Linda: I'm not looking for validation from a reader, but I know the process of writing has been very therapeutic for me. I didn't start writing with therapy anywhere in my mind, but it happened during the process. I am amazed at how much I learn/learned about myself as I write.

Ritergal
07-08-2008, 05:20 PM
I wouldn't be as bothered by rejection that is typical of the publishing industry if what I wrote wasn't so personal. I'd just go on to the next thing like everybody else. But I can't move on from this 'baby' of mine - my memoir. Your thoughts?

Michelle, I want to put my arms around you and tell you ever so tenderly what it took me decades to learn: Nobody else, not even legions of people, can make you feel validated and accepted. That's totally an inside job.

That being said, I understand your pain, and your feeling that the rejection of your manuscript is a rejection of your essential self, but hey! Publishers are cutting back like crazy. It's almost impossible to make money in publishing these days as an author or publisher, unless you get a best-seller. The odds of producing a best-seller are only slightly better than winning the Powerball lottery.

Those publishers are making a business decision while you are looking for validation. You may have written a killer story with lyrical prose, but if it doesn't fit with what people are buying, they aren't going to invest money in getting it out there! They can't afford to. And ... if they did, and nobody bought it, would that make you feel better? People are busy and their reading time is dear. You shouldn't take it personally if their attention is elsewhere. Would you buy my book just to make me feel good? (Please do! I will! I promise! ;) )

Print out a couple of copies of your manuscript and give them to very trusted people. Not to literary critics, but to people with heart and compassion. People who will tell you what a great thing you did, putting it out there on paper. That was a brave thing indeed. Feel that, know that, and move on with strength and power, because you finished a book! It doesn't matter whether publishers decide it's a good investment or not. Damned few people ever finish a manuscript!

IMHO, success as a person is measured more in terms of love and joy than selling books. I wish you tons of love and joy.

jerrywaxler
07-09-2008, 05:50 PM
Hi Michelle,

It sounds like you are doing a lot of good things to develop yourself as a person. Writing out a complete story is a fantastic accomplishment. Congratulations! And trying to publish it is a journey in its own right. As a writer it's natural you want readers. And perhaps there will also be a lot of therapeutic value to that success.

But it sounds like you are "giving away too much power" if you are going to put other people in charge of your healing. Continue finding all kinds of innovative ways to heal, and at the same time, join the rest of us (thousands on this board alone) who are looking for ways to earn readers for our writing.

Best wishes on all fronts.
Jerry