looking for diapering "dos" and "don'ts"

Before I had my son twenty-one years ago, I was going to be the world's best mother. Nary a single disposable nappy was going to pass my door. I bought a dozen of Boots' best terry-towel nappies, soft and thick. And when I say thick, I mean THICK. With my Mothercare book at my side, I folded the nappy in the recommended fashion, which gave nine thicknesses of fabric in the mid-section. Wrapped it around Pussycat Willum (who, I'll add before people call the RSPCA, is a very old stuffed toy dating from my own babyhood), and tried to put the nappy pin through. Wouldn't go. Realised I'd need a harpoon launcher to get that pin through the fabric. Went out and bought a box of Pampers.

I know one really big DON'T from experience: Don't tape the diaper to the baby. This is especially helpful for single guys who have never changed a diaper before.

Yes, yes, yes, I did that one time. I was really surprised when I turned the baby over and found that there wasn't any more sticky tabs on the other size of the diaper. Uh, oh. It was my best friend's daughter too . . . I somehow failed to mention this little incident to her.

I have a tip... While removing the old diaper, place the new one temporarily over the place on the baby that leaks. <g> That way if/when the air hits them and they decide to let loose with a new spray, you have a barrier in place. Keeps you and the baby dry.

Another tip...keep spare plastic bags to put dirty diapers in when you're out. That way when you need to throw your baby's dirty diaper away in your friend's trash, it won't stink up the place.

Oh, and keep a set of spare baby wipes in your car. That way when you're driving somewhere and you take a good look at your kid in the rearview mirror and see how in your rush to pack everything including the kid, you forgot to clean the crud off their face, you can do a quick clean up.

Elaine,
who swore she'd never take a crud-encrusted kid to the grocery store, only to look in her rearview mirror and see she's as bad as all those other harried, rushed moms out there.

Here's a big don't I learned the hard way:

When they are very young, and especially if you breastfeed, do NOT sit in direct line of fire while changing nappy.

Projectile pooping, who knew?

All these are good advice. As a SAHD, I was proud at being able to change a wet diaper in under five seconds (the Pampers type with the sticky tab to attach). A number two took longer, depending on the consistency of the product.

Focus on the job at hand. Talk to the baby. Let him know what you're doing. "Okay, son, it's diaper changing time. You need to lie still for a few seconds, okay?" Yeah, that worked every time. Not quite every time. But if you get the child's interest long enough and it's a number one, you can finish while the baby is still trying to figure out why you're making those strange faces.

One last thing to remember:

You'll only be called on to change diapers for three years or so per child. It's not going to last forever. Probably.

If you have more than one child, the relay effect comes into play; however, the good news in that scenario is that at some point, perhaps, the oldest child will become able to take on the chore. You can bribe him or her into doing it by promising that when you reach the age where diapers are again necessary, the one who took over the chore for the siblings won't have to take care of the parents. Be sure the child is old enough to deal with the psychological trauma that thought might bring up before using it.

Are you going to have a chapter about how they like to use half a roll of toilet paper to wipe once they're potty trained?

Robert<><>

Robert Farley said:

Are you going to have a chapter about how they like to use half a roll of toilet paper to wipe once they're potty trained?

Robert<><>

Click to expand...

Yeah, half a roll of toilet paper and they still miss most of it.

Elaine,
who came to dread the phrase..."Am I clean, yet?"

IdiotsRUs said:

Here's a big don't I learned the hard way:

When they are very young, and especially if you breastfeed, do NOT sit in direct line of fire while changing nappy.

Projectile pooping, who knew?

Click to expand...

Yeah, my tip isn't so much a tip, because it's not really avoidable. About the third diaper home with my second daughter, I lifted her by the ankles to slide the new diaper under and she let fly with a funky jetstream of such aim and trajectory that every bit of it landed in the open diaper wipes container, completely defiling a brand new box of wipes. Still, there wasn't any mess to clean up. I think she's going to be a bomber pilot.

Are you going to have a chapter about how they like to use half a roll of toilet paper to wipe once they're potty trained?

Robert<><>

Click to expand...

*Remembers not so fondly the four hours me and the Old Man spent unblocking the drain due to several hundredweight of toilet paper. *

Another tip -- before they do their first poop, smear vaseline over the botty. That first one is black and sticks like tar. You'll be scrubbing a while unless you use the vaseline.

If you use cloth diapers. do not use fabric softner. Softener stops the ability to absorb.

On the taping, that is important for guys. A good friend of mine who I served in combat with is one of the most patient people I know. He tried to put a Huggies diaper on one of our God Children, got fed up and pulled out the duct tape. As for bot of us being the Godfather, The father, my buddy and I all served in combat. The parents figured one of us would live.

#1 have a bag for used diapers in the car.
#2 don't leave it behind when you park the car for the weekend.