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View Full Version : Okay Guys (males) What's the Deal?



Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 06:27 AM
This a puzzle to me, and my husband has been no help in giving me an explanation.

I usually never go anywhere without make up on, and dressed fairly decent.

However one time I was shampooing my carpets and needed more cleaner, I was in a hurry to get it done, so I ran out the door... in shorts, a t-shirt, (I think it had a stain or two on it.) no make-up. I was not at my best.

Anyway some guy stops me when I am going into the store and says.. You are a beautiful woman. I thought it was weird.

So today I went grocery shopping real early.. because I had a lot to do. Again, just shorts and t shirt, no make up etc. I was putting the groceries in my car and a guy came up and said "Hello cutie".

I get more guys flirting with me, when I look awful... No one ever flirts with me when I am dressed up... What's up with that?

I'm thinking I should just dump all my make up in the trash can..

What's up with men??

poetinahat
07-01-2008, 06:32 AM
We* like women.


*: Except for the ones who like men. Or both.

ErylRavenwell
07-01-2008, 06:35 AM
Easy. You simply look more approachable in shorts and t-shirt...and less respectable. People are very superficial, yer know.

Don Allen
07-01-2008, 06:36 AM
Joyce this so easy i'm embarassed to say,,,,, No make up, no skirt, no heels, NO INTIMIDATION.

Same for my wife, she gets dressed to the nines and guys look but never speak, she dresses down and they fall over themselves because they ain't afraid no more...

brokenfingers
07-01-2008, 06:39 AM
It's magic.

maestrowork
07-01-2008, 06:41 AM
Women and men must have different concepts of beauty. I have news for you, Joyce... I like natural beauty. A woman who's not too self-conscious about her looks and can go places without make-up. When I see a pretty woman without make-up on, it really makes my heart stop. One of my crushes in college was someone like that -- never had made-up on. She was simply breathtaking. Then during a school function she dressed up and put on make-up. She looked different but stunning.

Thump
07-01-2008, 06:44 AM
I ask you this then gentlemen, I never wear make-up and I don't dress up.

Why doesn't anyone hit on me?! *


*and if you say I must be fugly, heads are gonna roll.

maestrowork
07-01-2008, 06:48 AM
I ask you this then gentlemen, I never wear make-up and I don't dress up.

Why doesn't anyone hit on me?! *


*and if you say I must be fugly, heads are gonna roll.

I was going to say... do you have a wedding band on?

poetinahat
07-01-2008, 06:48 AM
This just CAN'T be.*

I agree with Ray.

Whenever I catch my wife putting on make-up, I tell her she's gilding the lily. Then she smiles, and I'm lost.


*: Actually, yes it can. It happens pretty often.

ErylRavenwell
07-01-2008, 06:48 AM
I ask you this then gentlemen, I never wear make-up and I don't dress up.

Why doesn't anyone hit on me?! *


*and if you say I must be fugly, heads are gonna roll.

A nun doesn't wear make-up either. It's all about people's perception.

SPMiller
07-01-2008, 07:19 AM
It's nice to wake up next to a woman and not be shocked at how different she looks from the night before.

Then again, it could also be the approachability thing.

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 07:20 AM
Easy. You simply look more approachable in shorts and t-shirt...and less respectable. People are very superficial, yer know.

I'll buy that... :)

SPMiller
07-01-2008, 07:21 AM
I ask you this then gentlemen, I never wear make-up and I don't dress up.

Why doesn't anyone hit on me?! *


*and if you say I must be fugly, heads are gonna roll.Where do you live? Wanna meet up this Friday for coffee?

See, you just got hit on.

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 07:23 AM
Women and men must have different concepts of beauty. I have news for you, Joyce... I like natural beauty. A woman who's not too self-conscious about her looks and can go places without make-up. When I see a pretty woman without make-up on, it really makes my heart stop. One of my crushes in college was someone like that -- never had made-up on. She was simply breathtaking. Then during a school function she dressed up and put on make-up. She looked different but stunning.

Okay, but let me be clear. I maybe somewhat attractive.. but I am in NO WAY breath taking, unless I forgot my deodorant. :)

poetinahat
07-01-2008, 07:27 AM
It says something about confidence too, maybe - that one is happy enough with oneself to be able to go out unadorned.

SPMiller
07-01-2008, 07:35 AM
Oh, and Joyce, I wasn't suggesting that ;) I was just speculating on what might be going through their minds.

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 07:39 AM
It says something about confidence too, maybe - that one is happy enough with oneself to be able to go out unadorned.

I think that might be part of it also..

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 07:40 AM
I ask you this then gentlemen, I never wear make-up and I don't dress up.

Why doesn't anyone hit on me?! *


*and if you say I must be fugly, heads are gonna roll.

I think it has to do with breasts.

SPMiller
07-01-2008, 07:42 AM
Thump probably thinks I was kidding, but I'd be crazy enough to follow through. After all, I've done much nuttier stuff. However, I'm banking on very few AW users being from DFW. Statistics will save my ass.

Smiling Ted
07-01-2008, 07:46 AM
Perhaps old (300-year old) Bob Herrick said it best.

XCII. The Poetry of Dress

A SWEET disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness:
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distracti˛n,
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher,
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbands to flow confusedly,
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat,
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility,
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 08:23 AM
Perhaps old (300-year old) Bob Herrick said it best.

XCII. The Poetry of Dress

A SWEET disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness:
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distracti˛n,
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher,
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbands to flow confusedly,
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat,
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility,
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.

Robert Herrick, a classic.

Williebee
07-01-2008, 08:42 AM
Well said Smilin Ted, and Mr. Herrick.

Natural is what works for me. Make up can hide a lot of truth. Truth is what turns me on.

Captshady
07-01-2008, 08:51 AM
Out of curiosity, were you wearing a bra?

Joycecwilliams
07-01-2008, 09:38 AM
Out of curiosity, were you wearing a bra?

Yes... I haven't been able to go bra less since I was 12.

jennifer75
07-01-2008, 10:00 AM
This a puzzle to me, and my husband has been no help in giving me an explanation.

I usually never go anywhere without make up on, and dressed fairly decent.

However one time I was shampooing my carpets and needed more cleaner, I was in a hurry to get it done, so I ran out the door... in shorts, a t-shirt, (I think it had a stain or two on it.) no make-up. I was not at my best.

Anyway some guy stops me when I am going into the store and says.. You are a beautiful woman. I thought it was weird.

So today I went grocery shopping real early.. because I had a lot to do. Again, just shorts and t shirt, no make up etc. I was putting the groceries in my car and a guy came up and said "Hello cutie".

I get more guys flirting with me, when I look awful... No one ever flirts with me when I am dressed up... What's up with that?

I'm thinking I should just dump all my make up in the trash can..

What's up with men??

I know, I know....same with only getting hit on when you're in a relationship - but never when you're single and looking. Go Farking Figure.

BTW...in a relationship = looking awful. They go together. :P

Sean D. Schaffer
07-01-2008, 10:30 AM
This a puzzle to me, and my husband has been no help in giving me an explanation.

I usually never go anywhere without make up on, and dressed fairly decent.

However one time I was shampooing my carpets and needed more cleaner, I was in a hurry to get it done, so I ran out the door... in shorts, a t-shirt, (I think it had a stain or two on it.) no make-up. I was not at my best.

Anyway some guy stops me when I am going into the store and says.. You are a beautiful woman. I thought it was weird.

So today I went grocery shopping real early.. because I had a lot to do. Again, just shorts and t shirt, no make up etc. I was putting the groceries in my car and a guy came up and said "Hello cutie".

I get more guys flirting with me, when I look awful... No one ever flirts with me when I am dressed up... What's up with that?

I'm thinking I should just dump all my make up in the trash can..

What's up with men??


I hurt a female friend's feelings one night when I gave my honest opinion about her make-up. I saw it, frankly, as too much. I did not see that she had taken an hour to put it on; I saw her face covered by a mask of purple and red and blue and gold.

After she told me I had hurt her feelings, I was stunned. My intent was solely to help her out. I consider make-up to be the supporting cast member to the main star of the show (that star being, the woman wearing the make-up). If anything, I saw the show and saw the supporting cast stealing the show from the main attraction. My friend had used so much make-up that it took away from her beauty instead of enhancing it.

I would say bluntly, that much like my lady friend, most women look very nice (in my opinion) when they're not wearing loads of make-up. They should be the star attraction, not the stuff they put on their face. The make-up should always compliment the wearer, not overpower her.

That might be one reason so many men have been noticing you more often when you don't have the make-up on, than when you do have it on. If you work so amazingly hard to make the make-up look good, it might not be making you look good.

It's just an opinion. Take it with a grain of salt or maybe a few dozen canisters of it, if you like. But it is one man's observation, and that one man has seen too many women try to make themselves pretty by covering up their true source of beauty: themselves.


I hope this helps. Have a good night, and don't throw away the make-up; just maybe be a little more conservative in your use of it. Just a thought. :)

Cassiopeia
07-01-2008, 10:59 AM
My sweetheart *takes a moment to squee that's she's found him* tells me all the time that I don't need make up. That I'm beautiful without it.

Yeah he's a keeper. ;)

Karen Duvall
07-01-2008, 11:08 AM
Huh. Here all this time I thought getting hit on when I looked like crap was just a pity flirt.

Sean D. Schaffer
07-01-2008, 11:18 AM
Huh. Here all this time I thought getting hit on when I looked like crap was just a pity flirt.



One woman's crap is another man's treasure, or something like that. ;)

Cassiopeia
07-01-2008, 11:24 AM
I I did not see that she had taken an hour to put it on; An hour? Seriously? My word, I take like three minutes. I wash my face, put on some lotion add a little foundation ( I never used to wear that but now I do for sunscreen and to hide some spots from the sun) eye shadow, very lightly, light eyeliner and mascara.

Five minutes in total with the washing up and what not. An HOUR? That has to be some make up job.

rhymegirl
07-01-2008, 03:21 PM
My husband has a Gilligan's Island theory.

He said it's the Ginger and Mary Ann thing. More guys would approach a Mary Ann than a Ginger.


I think I'll test out Joyce's non-make-up look when I go bring my car this morning to be worked on.

JimmyB27
07-01-2008, 03:27 PM
I hate makeup. I like my ladies as nature intended. It's especially bad when you see women walking around looking like they belong in a big top squirting water out of flowers at each other.

rhymegirl
07-01-2008, 03:33 PM
But you also have to remember that the media (think about all those makeover shows on TV) constantly tell women we need makeup and nice clothes to look our best.

ErylRavenwell
07-01-2008, 03:40 PM
My husband has a Gilligan's Island theory.

He said it's the Ginger and Mary Ann thing. More guys would approach a Mary Ann than a Ginger.


I think I'll test out Joyce's non-make-up look when I go bring my car this morning to be worked on.

It's not about whether you're wearing make-up or not, but how people perceive you. If your make-up and attire make you look like a tramp, betcha you'll be the cynosure of all eyes.

ErylRavenwell
07-01-2008, 03:50 PM
I hate makeup. I like my ladies as nature intended. It's especially bad when you see women walking around looking like they belong in a big top squirting water out of flowers at each other.

Old fashion, aren't we? A little eyeshadow can go a long way...create a mystery look. Who can resist a mystery?

Calla Lily
07-01-2008, 03:58 PM
I never got hit on when I was a nun.

Guess the habit put them off. :D

James81
07-01-2008, 04:13 PM
How the hell can ANY of you answer the OP's question without demanding pics? :roll:

I don't think you can actually get a straight answer without posting a pic of you with make up on and one with out.

Perle_Rare
07-01-2008, 04:17 PM
I'll chime in with the rest. I never got into the habit of putting on make-up. I couldn't be bothered. I didn't think I was anything to look at and I sure didn't figure make-up would perform miracles, in spite of all those commercials.

Then, one day, I met this guy who preferred me that way. He actually put in his request for me not to wear too much make-up on our wedding day. He wanted to recognize me and make sure he was marrying the right woman! LOL...

I only wear make-up on formal occasions, and again, in very light touches. Otherwise, I go around "au naturel" ... though with clothes on. :D

Calla Lily
07-01-2008, 04:38 PM
How the hell can ANY of you answer the OP's question without demanding pics? :roll:

I don't think you can actually get a straight answer without posting a pic of you with make up on and one with out.

That's me in my avatar without makeup... and waterlogged... and wicked tired.

http://www.buddyhollywood.com/images/stories/AliceLoweecey100.jpg <--- and this is me all made up for a professional headshot.

Big deal, I say. My DH loves me with or without it. :D

Oh, and sorry--but the 4 remaining nun photos aren't anywhere on the web, so I can't post one for comparison. You'll just have to imagine..

Haggis
07-01-2008, 04:43 PM
That's me in my avatar without makeup... and waterlogged... and wicked tired.

http://www.buddyhollywood.com/images/stories/AliceLoweecey100.jpg <--- and this is me all made up for a professional headshot.

Big deal, I say. My DH loves me with or without it. :D

Can we see one of you in the habit for comparison? :roll:

Calla Lily
07-01-2008, 04:48 PM
Can we see one of you in the habit for comparison? :roll:

Cross-posted as I was trying to figure out a way to put one up here!

I could email you one...

maxmordon
07-01-2008, 04:49 PM
You don't seem intimidating, rather in our league. I met a woman who in her work at the bowling alley and she doesn't look the best for it but a lot of men there are in love of her since she "likes sci-fi, drinks whiskey and is bisexual" She is one of the guys...

Haggis
07-01-2008, 04:51 PM
Cross-posted as I was trying to figure out a way to put one up here!

I could email you one...

Absolutely!

eta: I'll issue a report to the rest of the crew.

rhymegirl
07-01-2008, 05:10 PM
It's not about whether you're wearing make-up or not, but how people perceive you. If your make-up and attire make you look like a tramp, betcha you'll be the cynosure of all eyes.

Well, I hope you're referring to Ginger here.

Actually, that isn't what I was getting at with the Mary Ann and Ginger comparison. Personally, I would think more guys would be attracted to Ginger than to Mary Ann just based on the whole celebrity thing (sexy and glamorous). But since Mary Ann represents the girl next door, unmade-up, down to earth, friendly, will make you a pie anytime--apparently that is what a lot of guys prefer.

Captshady
07-01-2008, 05:11 PM
Up until my mid 30's I was in the "women look better without makeup" camp. After being married to a woman that NEVER did herself up, NEVER got a mani, NEVER had polished nails, NEVER tried to dress nice, let her hair get a bit greasy before she showered ... I find darn near anyone woman that primps a little - especially the nails -attractive.

Captshady
07-01-2008, 05:12 PM
Well, I hope you're referring to Ginger here.

Actually, that isn't what I was getting at with the Mary Ann and Ginger comparison. Personally, I would think more guys would be attracted to Ginger than to Mary Ann just based on the whole celebrity thing (sexy and glamorous). But since Mary Ann represents the girl next door, unmade-up, down to earth, friendly, will make you a pie anytime--apparently that is what a lot of guys prefer.

I dunno. If there's truth to your statement FOR ME, it'd have to be subconscious. I just always thought Mary Ann was prettier.

JimmyB27
07-01-2008, 05:18 PM
But you also have to remember that the media (think about all those makeover shows on TV) constantly tell women we need makeup and nice clothes to look our best.
Since when has the media ever got anything right?

rhymegirl
07-01-2008, 05:34 PM
Since when has the media ever got anything right?

It doesn't matter whether it's right or not. It's the message that comes across. Women are barraged with these messages every day all over the place. In magazines, on billboards, on TV commercials, TV shows, in movies, at hair salons--we are constantly told we need to fix things, make things look better. It's everywhere. You watch one of those Infomercials where celebrity women are using that new make-up foundation, I forget what it's called, to hide blemishes, skin discoloration, and problem spots. They show you the before and after. The message is: Why go around showing your true self and flaws when you can cover it up.

Haggis
07-01-2008, 05:38 PM
Can we see one of you in the habit for comparison? :roll:


Cross-posted as I was trying to figure out a way to put one up here!

I could email you one...

I have just seen a picture of our Lily when she was a nun.

For the record, I would have hit on her. She looked adorable.

That is all.

maestrowork
07-01-2008, 05:52 PM
I don't wear make-up and no guys hit on me.

'xcept Haggis, of course. But he's a dog. He'll hump anything.

Sarita
07-01-2008, 06:00 PM
I don't wear make-up and no guys hit on me..Not even for photo shoots or gigs? (I always love seeing actors in full stage makeup, it's so silly!)

I'm in the little to no makeup camp. I throw on some light brown eyeliner every day. My cheeks have a natural pinkishness to them and I've never had an issue with blemishes, so I don't use foundation. I had an argument with one of my mom's coworkers once, when I was like 15, because she thought I was wearing makeup (and apparently I shouldn't have been at 15?) She actually made me wipe my face in front of her and she was shocked to learn I had nothing on! :)

cletus
07-01-2008, 06:02 PM
The only people who really notice what a woman's make-up looks like is other women.

Captshady
07-01-2008, 06:05 PM
Not even for photo shoots or gigs? (I always love seeing actors in full stage makeup, it's so silly!)

I'm in the little to no makeup camp. I throw on some light brown eyeliner every day. My cheeks have a natural pinkishness to them and I've never had an issue with blemishes, so I don't use foundation. I had an argument with one of my mom's coworkers once, when I was like 15, because she thought I was wearing makeup (and apparently I shouldn't have been at 15?) She actually made me wipe my face in front of her and she was shocked to learn I had nothing on! :)

The pic in your avatar LOOKS like you're not wearing any makeup at all, and your avatar pic is hot, and feminine. If you're wearing make up in that pic, it's the perfect example of how much and how makeup SHOULD be applied.

TrainofThought
07-01-2008, 06:07 PM
I never get hit on with or without makeup and I mostly wear makeup. ;)

Sarita
07-01-2008, 06:09 PM
The pic in your avatar LOOKS like you're not wearing any makeup at all, and your avatar pic is hot, and feminine. If you're wearing make up in that pic, it's the perfect example of how much and how makeup SHOULD be applied.*blushes* Just eyeliner.

I don't know about getting hit on, but people talk to me all the time, men, women, children. I've been told I'm very approachable. I like it. :)

And Tater is a damn dirty liar. I hit on her at least once a week :D

TrainofThought
07-01-2008, 06:13 PM
*blushes* Just eyeliner.

I don't know about getting hit on, but people talk to me all the time, men, women, children. I've been told I'm very approachable. I like it. :)

And Tater is a damn dirty liar. I hit on her at least once a week :DThat's right, I forgot. :)

*taking thread to a whole nother level*

quickWit
07-01-2008, 06:14 PM
:popcorn:

maestrowork
07-01-2008, 06:35 PM
Not even for photo shoots or gigs? (I always love seeing actors in full stage makeup, it's so silly!)

It depends on the gig. The Sheetz thing you saw me on -- there was no make-up at all (and I looked like I was 12). Other times they just did a base to even out the skin tone. For guys, they try not to put too much on, mostly just skin tone and a bit of a blush and lip gloss, to show up better on camera. For photo shoots, they can use Photoshop so it's not necessary to have make-up. For TV and videos, however, because of the harsh stage lights and the way the camera picks up the images, make-up is necessary. It does look rather silly once you're off the soundstage.

They also recommend the ladies not to show up in full make-up. In fact, some even ask the ladies to go in natural so the make-up artist can do their job.

Funny, I don't use make-up on stage. And nobody ever asked me to. I guess I didn't need it?

Haggis
07-01-2008, 08:15 PM
Free pics of Callalily as a nun here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2504825&postcount=10).

maestrowork
07-01-2008, 09:34 PM
Free pics of Callalily as a nun here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2504825&postcount=10).

You should be ashamed of your impure thoughts.

Calla Lily
07-01-2008, 09:37 PM
See? It was the habit. That whole veil thing puts guys off. :rolleyes:

Cassiopeia
07-01-2008, 09:43 PM
When I was 12 and sneaking my mother's makeup, she took me to Merle Norman for a facial and how to learn how to apply makeup. The one thing they told me and I adhere to it is that makeup is to enhance what you already have. If someone says, Oh look how lovely your makeup is, you did a bad job of putting it on.

It should be effective but unremarkable.

Eskimo1990
07-01-2008, 09:52 PM
I rarely ever wear make-up. Only time I do is for special occasions such as my school's homecoming dance or a wedding. Even then my make-up is very light and I don't wear eyeliner.
I have a BIG problem with people touching or getting anywhere near my eyes. Even my own hand I just can't do it and I freak out.
Other then special occasions the only time I wear make-up is when my friends decide I should wear some and decide to put it on. Even then it's very hard to get make on me.

My 10th grade year I was on the swim team and we were doing team pictures. Well one of the girls decided to do my hair and make-up. Yeah...they literally had to chase me around the locker room and pin me up against a locker to get the eyeliner on me. It took three girls to keep me still. Needless to say they never tried to put make-up on me again.

Inkdaub
07-02-2008, 10:59 AM
I have always theorized that women put on make-up and get dressed up for the benefit of other women...like a competitive type thing. Maybe not. There is probably all sorts of deep seeded psychological attachments to the wearing of make-up that stem from the pressure society puts on women to be physically appealing. I don't know. I do know that most men I talk to when the subject comes up like the no makeup look better than the makeup look.

There is a girl in my hood who works as a waitress and she wears a lot of make-up. Sometimes it is cool in that she wears it in a non-traditional way...once she wore a red bar across her face at eye-level. Usually, though, it is just too heavy and almost kabuki like. She is a very cute girl too and I think she looks better with lighter make-up...but SHE must like the look so good for her and she should do as she pleases.

HeronW
07-02-2008, 01:34 PM
3 ingredients in most makeup: talc for drying oily areas, mineral oil to moisten, water to hydrate. All of which can be done more efficiently by increasing the intake of healthier foods, and by drinking water. No smoking and staying out of the sun will also keep the skin in better condition. Cosmetic companies make billions based on false promises.

Stage/TV makeup is necessary since the klieg lights bleach out the features that people instinctively look for: eyes and mouth. You watch a rehersal from the back row and you see blobs where faces are. You watch the actual show and you can see features.

& JcW-- pugmoms are irresistable!