"I shoulda said..."

The French call this "esprit de l’escalier". I call it, "Gee, if only I'd thought of that then."

I've had a few rough arguments over the last few months, so I think I'll sit this one out.

"I'll count to eleven, then blow your head off."

You never know. They may have been just about to crack...

three seven said:

"I think we should get married."
"Taxi!"​

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That's by far the best I've heard.

My friends and I often consult each other on these situations. Usually, they - not being writers - ask me what they should've said, and I can come up with something pithy and brilliant. Me, on the other hand... I'm terrible in the moment, and I always come up with these nuggets of genius later, but then the editor in my head plays with it until I come up with the best possible response - usually a week or two after the entire incident (when surely the other person involved has long since forgotten about it).

All those moments (and there have been hundreds, if not thousands) are gone, as the only thing in my brain is MISUNDERSTANDINGS. Amazing how being on the spot can make you forget every embarrassing moment, fight, blunder, etc.

what life needs is a pause button. That way you could pace up and down for a while contemplating the best retort. You'd need rewind as a back-up of course ...

Rob-rite said:

what life needs is a pause button. That way you could pace up and down for a while contemplating the best retort. You'd need rewind as a back-up of course ...

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Or that thing from Galaxy Quest, the time-travel machine that only goes back 15 seconds.

No, a pause/rewind button is definitely better. Brilliant, in fact. There's a commercial running in Canada (and maybe the States) right now about life having an "EASY" button - I take issue with the word (just doesn't fit, syntactically - is that a word?), but I think an ad campaign "if life only had a pause button" would be great.

Your SIM avatar is beginning to scare me, Rob

I usually end up regretting what I said, not thinking of what I should have said. Seems I was absent the day they passed out the filters between your brain and your mouth.

Oh yes, Melina. I've been in the position of shoulda, coulda, woulda, many times in discussions. At one time I was quick with responses, I'm afraid my quick wit has failed me more often than not. I like the idea of a pause button; but I'd forget to turn it back on.
Joanne

I almost never regret anything. What is said and done has been said and done. Can't take it back. No point of wondering shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Oh, Ray, I don't ever regret what I've said. It's the things I forget to say or never get out that I wish I shoulda, coulda, woulda.

I was in the kitchen with Erick and Elisa while they loaded the dishwasher. The timeless debate of handles up or down manifested itself. Elisa said, "Neither. Put some up and some down so they don't nest."

Erick replied, "Nest? Ooooo, I thought they only did that in the wild!"

Later I wished I'd pointed out that if the inside of a raging dishwasher isn't "the wild" for your cutlery, I don't wanna know what is.

But it still wouldn't have been as funny as what Erick said. And it's certainly not funny all this time later.

-pkpk