They didn't mention that in Miracle of Life!

underthecity

Finestkind
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
3,126
Reaction score
768
Location
Near Cincinnati
Website
www.allensedge.com
I saw Miracle of Life in high school. It showed the lady giving birth, and I thought, how gross, but it looked pretty cut and dried.

So, I've read a few threads on AW about babies, and have talked to a male coworker about the birthing process, what he experienced with his first wife.

Both his ex, and a friend of my wife's, um, defacated during birth, what with all that pushing. In fact, my friend's wife was trying to hold it in! But the nurse just told her to let it out. And my coworker's ex let it out, and the nurse just scooped it up and tossed it in the trash. Do I really want to see my own wife do that??? Why didn't they mention that in Miracle of Life?

Let's see, I don't recall MOL showing the doctor pushing his hand up there to retrieve the placenta.

I don't recall MOL showing the baby being born blue, and the doctor saying "It'll be pink in a moment."

What else did they leave out that I have to look forward to witnessing in nine months?
 

Maryn

Sees All
Staff member
Super Moderator
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
55,448
Reaction score
25,475
Location
Snow Cave
MOL didn't convey the way you'll feel, seeing a little human you and Mrs. Under made out of nothing but your love. It may have been the first time I understood the proper use of the words awe and wonder.

Childbirth isn't pretty, but you will forget all the negatives within minutes, as you hold your newborn. Really.

And you're going to develop a very different attitude about poop in the first week of the kid's life, too.

Maryn, refusing to elaborate on the yucky aspects of delivering Gargantua
 

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 6, 2008
Messages
18,889
Reaction score
5,029
Location
We couldn't possibly do that. Who'd clear up the m
Website
francisknightbooks.co.uk
Actually one of the first stages of labour normally includes needing to go to the toilet to empty yourself out.

Yes, what you're worrying about may happen. But just as likely won't. Honestly, if that had been involved there would be no way my hubby would have been there for the second one.
Childbirth isn't pretty, but you will forget all the negatives within minutes, as you hold your newborn. Really.

And you're going to develop a very different attitude about poop in the first week of the kid's life, too.

Lol oh yes. Poop will be part of your life.
 

III

rockin the suburbs
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 21, 2006
Messages
4,672
Reaction score
3,566
Location
Spurs Country
Website
www.jayyoungweb.com
MOL didn't convey the way you'll feel, seeing a little human you and Mrs. Under made out of nothing but your love. It may have been the first time I understood the proper use of the words awe and wonder.

Childbirth isn't pretty, but you will forget all the negatives within minutes, as you hold your newborn. Really.

And you're going to develop a very different attitude about poop in the first week of the kid's life, too.

Maryn, refusing to elaborate on the yucky aspects of delivering Gargantua

Perfectly stated, Maryn. You'll experience squirtings, smells, and crazy things you've never imagined, right from the git-go. Check your fears and inhibitions at the hospital door and welcome to the Show.
 

Perks

delicate #!&@*#! flower
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
18,981
Reaction score
6,933
Location
At some altitude
Website
www.jamie-mason.com
Lol! I didn't do that either time, but I've attended four other births as a midwife's assistant and, yeah, it happens.

It might seem like a big deal now, but it's not. It's just one of those things.
 

Sarita

carpe noctem
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 18, 2005
Messages
9,036
Reaction score
4,069
Location
Pennsylvania
Just remember, every single birth is different. None of the things mentioned in this thread happened to me.

Just take the time to understand the process and don't listen to every single birth story someone volunteers.

By the end of the first hour, you'll be volunteering to walk through fire just to have that little baby in your life. It'll all be worth it. :)
 

Ol' 61

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
86
Reaction score
14
Location
Saline, MI
First baby was a C-section. We knew it beforehand--he was breech--and they gave me a spinal, and 45 minutes later, I had a baby. Second baby was also a C-section--20 hours after my water broke.

Raising kids is an adventure. Yeah, there's all the poop and the spitting up, and if you have a boy, unexpected fountains of pee, but there's also the first smiles, the first giggles, and the "I love you, Daddys." They make it all worthwhile.

And then they learn to talk back....

Ol' 61
 

SherryTex

Working on 2nd WIP
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 4, 2006
Messages
2,286
Reaction score
1,739
Location
Wash DC area, surrounded by overachievers
Website
www.sherryantonettiwrites.blogspot.com
What else did they leave out that I have to look forward to witnessing in nine months?

There ain't a book or a thread big enough. Life is by every account, messy.

My counsel? Stop stressing about these things that make the very reality of being human an exercise in self restraint against loathing...I mean, we generate any number of gross fluids...spit, ear wax, boogers, blood, puss, poop and pee, mother's milk and ahem, the substances that generate new peoples in the first place.

This will be a big nine months and being a writer, keep a journal. You'll be amazed at the end...
 

ACEnders

Self-Banned
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 27, 2007
Messages
601
Reaction score
660
Location
Too close to the city
Website
strugglingwritersblog.blogspot.com
THere's a book I read called Pregnancy Sucks. It tells you all about that stuff. They have a Pregnancy Sucks for Men too. Maybe you should check it out. :D My husband doesn't want to know. Not that we're ready yet, but...yeah.

It's gross. But it's gotta be worth it, right?