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goatmam
06-24-2008, 04:09 PM
Sometimes at home I really feel like I am becoming the house maid. I live with my boyfriend and his friend (who is our roommate) in a town house. Men (and I don't mean to generalize) are so lazy when it comes to basic house chores. I'm no Martha Stewart in the home, but I don't consider loading the dish washer "clean enough". My boyfriend isn't the real problem though I think it's more the friend... I've TRIED to talk to him before but he fed me some crap about not really hearing me because he only hears about 80% of what women say... WTF!

*Sorry had to vent somewhere... Why not where I can get feedback?

joyce
06-24-2008, 04:40 PM
I feel your pain. I love my husband dearly but when it comes to helping around the house.....well, he sucks! I really don't think he sees the mess that I see. After 8 hours of standing in a 2' x 2' spot at work, I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is come home and start cleaning. He can't understand why I walk in the door and start picking things up. He'll tell me to sit down because I'm still in "scanning" mode. It drives me crazy! I think what irritates me the most is the fact he'll sit there starving and wait for me to get home to cook him something to eat. I tell him all the time that I've never met someone so intelligent who has no idea how to operate the oven or microwave. It's been 19 years so I guess at this point I've spoiled him so nothing is probably going to change.:D

Mumut
06-24-2008, 04:59 PM
I have the same thing. Fifty percent of my work is cleaning up after my wife. I say, 'don't put it down, put it away,' but it's no use. Only when we're having visitors (a rare happening) she gets stuck in and grumbles all the time. I don't expect her to do a lot of cleaning - I just want her to stop making the mess.

Maryn
06-24-2008, 05:08 PM
goatmam, you may not be able to change the boyfriend, but the roommate is something else. Next time your lease is up for renewal, write him up a sublease for his part. Include the financial stuff, of course, and put in conditions about additional charges if he does not take care of certain pick-up-after-yourself basics. Consider only a handful of items which inconvenience you the most
$1 per day for towels left on bathroom floor, shower curtain rod, or counter
$1 per item for dishes, silverware, glassware, cups, etc. left anywhere other than the kitchen
$5 per offense for failure to clean the kitchen thoroughly when it's his turn. Cleaning includes unloading and reloading the dishwasher, wiping counters, washing items which cannot go in the dishwasher, and sweeping the floor. (Or set your own very specific standards.)
Fines totaling more than $50 in a calendar month result in voiding of the lease, and he has 30 days to move out.
Those are just examples, of course, and you're going to have to be a total hardass about enforcing them. Enlist your boyfriend's help, so you present a united front. Document each offense, and get the roommate to initial the entry, acknowledging that he owes extra. Tally at the end of the month. You'll probably end up having to clean nearly as much, but you'll have some extra cash in your pocket.

Maryn, who's lived with bad roomies more than once

auntybug
06-24-2008, 05:13 PM
There is only one motivator. Tell you BF to talk to him or he gets no nookie. Nuff said :D

SpookyWriter
06-24-2008, 05:16 PM
There is only one motivator. Tell you BF to talk to him or he gets no nookie. Nuff said :DSo if he cleans up then the reward is sex with his friend's girl. I like that arrangement. ;)

Kitrianna
06-24-2008, 07:04 PM
*slaps Spooky around with a moose* men!

Hobbes
06-24-2008, 07:17 PM
My wife and I have had this discussion. I think it's true, men (at least me) don't neccessarily "see" the same mess. I told my wife, just ask me to do it and I will. If there's something you need help with, say so and I'll do it. I'll do the laundry, the dishes, whatever, but, yeah, I don't really think about those chores as something I need to do right now. I lived a long time on my own and even though we've been married for 8 years, I still think the dishes need to be done only when we're down to paper plates.

Maryn
06-24-2008, 08:20 PM
Hobbes makes a very valid point, one many couples have worked through. We spent the weekend with newlyweds doing this now, and it's almost funny except that she's so steamed at times.

Mr. Maryn simply doesn't see most messes. He's dimly aware that there are items on the floor, or the counter, whatever, but his mindset does not equate their presence to a task awaiting him (or anyone else). Only when he is personally inconvenienced--only this week, yesterday's spilled orange juice glued his cereal bowl to the counter and jam he'd dribbled down the outside of the jar got on his hands, then his shirt--does he comprehend that something needs to be done.

They don't think like us. Sometimes it's cause for gnashing of teeth, others for rejoicing.

Maryn, whose house is often a mess

KTC
06-24-2008, 08:21 PM
Men (and I don't mean to generalize) are so lazy when it comes to basic house chores.

Actually, if you don't mean to generalize, I suggest you DON'T generalize.

Captshady
06-24-2008, 08:24 PM
The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 08:38 PM
The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

Speak for yourself. :)

Tink
06-24-2008, 08:40 PM
The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

Not so in all households....'nuff said!!! :D

Captshady
06-24-2008, 08:42 PM
Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom????

Kitrianna
06-24-2008, 08:46 PM
For some men not enough nookie means they aren't getting it every waking moment of the day when they are either-
a) not at work
b) not watching television
c) not playing with their toys (race car, lawn mower, other power tools)

And for the more kinky amongst them...they'd like to try multi-tasking :D

Williebee
06-24-2008, 08:47 PM
As the one in the house who does most of the cleaning, cooking and laundry, I take OFFENSE! Nah, not really. It isn't a "men" thing, though. It's a "him" thing.

Who's name is on the lease? How long has he lived there? Throw the guy out. It's time he grew up and got his own place anyway. HOWEVER, if you ever find yourself in a position of looking at the boyfriend and saying "It's him or me." ? It's you who needs to move out. If the boyfriend puts you in that position, he's not ready for a serious relationship.

Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.

Tink
06-24-2008, 08:48 PM
Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom???? My husband has ABSOLUTEly nothing to complain about in the bedroom or any other room in the house for that matter...We have a great relationship in that dept. and I do all the danged housework and the lawnmowing and the pool cleaning and I have helped or did every major/minor job or repair that has been done around our place...and I don't mind because My husb. works hard at his job and I work hard at mine...which is being the best wife he could ever want and trust me on this--- I KEEP HIM VERY PLEASED!!!! :D

Perle_Rare
06-24-2008, 08:49 PM
My husband is actually quite good at doing his half of the chores. He sometimes even does more than I expect. His excuse? He's afraid I'll throw him out if he doesn't. From his point of view, it's much easier to split the chores with me than end up on his own and be responsible for doing everything! :D

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 08:51 PM
Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom????

You know what? I bet that a lot of women wish they got it more too!

And you can believe what you want, but my husband is a very happy, satisfied man. All those things men don't think women do after marriage? Yeah. Not an issue in our house.

On the other hand, I still have to ask him to help around the house, but only because for some reason he doesn't see the dishes in the sink or notice the clothes on the floor (even after tripping over them). But when I ask, he's happy to oblige.

Tink
06-24-2008, 08:51 PM
Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.Good one...I can imagine that did do the trick!!! :D

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 08:52 PM
Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.

My mom did that! Once she went around with a huge garbage bag and threw away everything that we had left laying around the house.

But then she chickened out and gave it all back to us - but not until we'd forgotten what it was she'd taken from us in the first place.

Captshady
06-24-2008, 08:53 PM
My husband has ABSOLUTEly nothing to complain about in the bedroom or any other room in the house for that matter...We have a great relationship in that dept. and I do all the danged housework and the lawnmowing and the pool cleaning and I have helped or did every major/minor job or repair that has been done around our place...and I don't mind because My husb. works hard at his job and I work hard at mine...which is being the best wife he could ever want and trust me on this--- I KEEP HIM VERY PLEASED!!!! :D

How many times can I rep one post? :tongue

I assumed we were speaking in the realm of both partners working outside the home as well. But in either case, I don't leaving my job feeling that I didn't give it my all. And I never liked going to sleep at night thinking I didn't do at the VERY least, my share (and the share is the part that comes into question most often).

DeleyanLee
06-24-2008, 08:55 PM
Let me give you cause to rejoice.

Just after our first child was born, economics forced that I go live with my mother during the week so she'll take care of our daughter (some 40 miles from our house) so I could go back to work and get caught up on bills a rough pregnancy had piled up.

I went home most every weekend for the 4 months we had this arrangement. After working 40-50 hours a week at manual labor job and then being single mom all week, I had an entire house to clean every weekend. After a while, I just couldn't do it all and stopped, informing him that he had to pick up the slack and giving him a list of minimum tasks he had to take care of (ie: rinsing dishes off, putting clothes in hamper, throwing empty things in the garbage)--which he agreed to.

When I brought the baby home after a few months of a very emotionally strained but financially satisfying experience, the house was a pit. There were PILES of garbage throughout the living room. I could not pull the chairs from the dining room table for all the crap around the room or for fear of toppling what was piled on the table. There were untouched dishes stacked and molding from the very weekend he agreed to help out. I won't go into what horrors lay in the bathroom or our bedroom.

My mother, two sisters and I cleaned that place for a solid 3-day weekend, 10-12 hours a day, in order to bring it to the point it was safe to bring a baby just being to crawl into.

And when we were done? I got b****ed at because he couldn't find his stuff. Actually, I still get b****ed at because his stuff disappeared, now over 20 years ago and most of that after the divorce.

That make you feel any better, goatmam?

Captshady
06-24-2008, 08:57 PM
You know what? I bet that a lot of women wish they got it more too!

And you can believe what you want, but my husband is a very happy, satisfied man. All those things men don't think women do after marriage? Yeah. Not an issue in our house.

On the other hand, I still have to ask him to help around the house, but only because for some reason he doesn't see the dishes in the sink or notice the clothes on the floor (even after tripping over them). But when I ask, he's happy to oblige.

I'm not specifically calling BS on you, just the generalization. Whenever it's mentioned, there's always a BUNCH of women that claim it's different in THEIR case, but very few men every say so.

Tink
06-24-2008, 09:00 PM
How many times can I rep one post? :tongue :D

I assumed we were speaking in the realm of both partners working outside the home as well. But in either case, I don't leaving my job feeling that I didn't give it my all. And I never liked going to sleep at night thinking I didn't do at the VERY least, my share (and the share is the part that comes into question most often).I use to work outside of the house and I still did alot of the work around the house but He did what I thought was his share... I guess I am old fashioned that way, My Momma taught me to take care of My Man in the most downhome type ways and I still hold true to those teachings...plus I am very active and my day goes by quicker if I am busy. Also, I sleep better at night knowing that when I wake up in the morning husb. is still smiling and will be after breakfast and when he returns home from work at night...:)
..We have had our share of problems (believe me) but not in either of those dept...:)

Captshady
06-24-2008, 09:02 PM
Terrible story DeleyanLee! I married a slob (going through the divorce right now). I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, and yard work the WHOLE time (she did do the dishes when the sink and counter tops were massively full, and on occasion, moved clothes from washer to dryer). I broke my ankle in 3 places, required two surgeries and was immobile for 20 weeks. The house was a complete shambles when I was on both feet again, and I never caught up. And I got B***** at for "not keeping up on my end of things". We only lasted 11 years, and the only good thing about that is that it wasn't 20!

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 09:08 PM
I use to work outside of the house and I still did alot of the work around the house but He did what I thought was his share... I guess I am old fashioned that way, My Momma taught me to take care of My Man in the most downhome type ways and I still hold true to those teachings...plus I am very active and my day goes by quicker if I am busy. Also, I sleep better at night knowing that when I wake up in the morning husb. is still smiling and will be after breakfast and when he returns home from work at night...:)
..We have had our share of problems (believe me) but not in either of those dept...:)

I'm the same way. I love keeping the house clean and running errands and making meals and keeping hubby happy and stress free. Even though I work fulltime. My job is very little stress, and my husband has enough at work. He doesn't need to come home and stress out too.

Joycecwilliams
06-24-2008, 09:08 PM
Sometimes at home I really feel like I am becoming the house maid. I live with my boyfriend and his friend (who is our roommate) in a town house. Men (and I don't mean to generalize) are so lazy when it comes to basic house chores. I'm no Martha Stewart in the home, but I don't consider loading the dish washer "clean enough". My boyfriend isn't the real problem though I think it's more the friend... I've TRIED to talk to him before but he fed me some crap about not really hearing me because he only hears about 80% of what women say... WTF!

*Sorry had to vent somewhere... Why not where I can get feedback?

Sometimes I feel like a maid also, but I do have to say for some reason my husband has improved in the past month. I don't question it or dissect it... I am enjoying it.

Men are really very basic, at least that what my husband says. He claims he is not complicated, if I want him to do something I need to ask and be specific. For example, I can't just say I need help. I have to ask him "Will you wash, dry and fold the laundry?" If I ask him to do the laundry... he will just wash it... and figure it's done..

Maybe you can write a list for your roomate and sign it John. ;) That way there is no verbal communications.

Tink
06-24-2008, 09:09 PM
Terrible story DeleyanLee! I married a slob (going through the divorce right now). I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, and yard work the WHOLE time (she did do the dishes when the sink and counter tops were massively full, and on occasion, moved clothes from washer to dryer). I broke my ankle in 3 places, required two surgeries and was immobile for 20 weeks. The house was a complete shambles when I was on both feet again, and I never caught up. And I got B***** at for "not keeping up on my end of things". We only lasted 11 years, and the only good thing about that is that it wasn't 20!


Thats horrible...I know people like that and I don't mean to sound judgemental--but what is up with that? How can anyone want to live in filth? It just does not make sense to me....cluttered or alittle dusty is one thing but mold and mounds of trash and dirty laundry is another, entirely different and potentionly harmful to the health kind of situation!

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 09:10 PM
Terrible story DeleyanLee! I married a slob (going through the divorce right now). I cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, and yard work the WHOLE time (she did do the dishes when the sink and counter tops were massively full, and on occasion, moved clothes from washer to dryer). I broke my ankle in 3 places, required two surgeries and was immobile for 20 weeks. The house was a complete shambles when I was on both feet again, and I never caught up. And I got B***** at for "not keeping up on my end of things". We only lasted 11 years, and the only good thing about that is that it wasn't 20!

I'm so sorry! That's horrible! What a b****!!!!

Tink
06-24-2008, 09:10 PM
I'm the same way. I love keeping the house clean and running errands and making meals and keeping hubby happy and stress free. Even though I work fulltime. My job is very little stress, and my husband has enough at work. He doesn't need to come home and stress out too.Amen Sister Friend...I see nothing wrong with treatin' your man good! IT HAS ITS REWARDS..........:D

Joycecwilliams
06-24-2008, 09:11 PM
My wife and I have had this discussion. I think it's true, men (at least me) don't neccessarily "see" the same mess. I told my wife, just ask me to do it and I will. If there's something you need help with, say so and I'll do it. I'll do the laundry, the dishes, whatever, but, yeah, I don't really think about those chores as something I need to do right now. I lived a long time on my own and even though we've been married for 8 years, I still think the dishes need to be done only when we're down to paper plates.

I believe you are right.. Men need to be asked.. see my post.. :)

Joycecwilliams
06-24-2008, 09:22 PM
The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

You have a valid point and I think of that alot.
My husband never fails to check my oil whenever I go out of town. He hates working on cars, so he doesn't do that... and on the rare occassion he did, it would never run right. So it goes to the mechanic.

He has a riding lawn mower and our grass is never overgrown, me thinks he does it to escape from the kids.. He cuts the grass 3 times a week.

My husband is a beautiful finished carpenter, he works for weatlhy people and makes all these beautiful breath taking rooms, furniture, water fountains.. but not at home... I have baseboards that aren't finished yet for 1989. aaagh...

He does chop down all the trees and brings in the wood for the winter. And he does plow the driveway... but he has a monster plow... so that isn't a big deal either... it's a toy for him..

So men do a lot of things... but it's not an everyday thing.. and some of the chores requires operating a machine. If men had to houseclean they would have ride on vacumn cleaners. :)

Tink
06-24-2008, 09:26 PM
You have a valid point and I think of that alot.
My husband never fails to check my oil whenever I go out of town. He hates working on cars, so he doesn't do that... and on the rare occassion he did, it would never run right. So it goes to the mechanic.

He has a riding lawn mower and our grass is never overgrown, me thinks he does it to escape from the kids.. He cuts the grass 3 times a week.

My husband is a beautiful finished carpenter, he works for weatlhy people and makes all these beautiful breath taking rooms, furniture, water fountains.. but not at home... I have baseboards that aren't finished yet for 1989. aaagh...

He does chop down all the trees and brings in the wood for the winter. And he does plow the driveway... but he has a monster plow... so that isn't a big deal either... it's a toy for him..

So men do a lot of things... but it's not an everyday thing.. and some of the chores requires operating a machine. If men had to houseclean they would have ride on vacumn cleaners. :)Hey What a GREAT ideal, lets get together and make a rider-vacumn cleaner...we might just get rich! :D

ACEnders
06-24-2008, 09:27 PM
If men had to houseclean they would have ride on vacumn cleaners. :)

Haha!!! The vision I have in my head is pretty funny!

sassandgroove
06-24-2008, 09:55 PM
Yes- I have to ask my husband for help but he does help.

Plus he mows lawns, takes out trash, asks about my oil change and if I've bought gas lately, stuff that I don't notice.

Oh the conversation drifted.

Roommates can be difficult. You have different ideas of what is acceptable. And since it isn't the same as a friend or love relationship, it can be hard to talk about it.

I had a roommate (I call her psycho bitch roommate from hell) that bitched and moaned that she was the only one who cleaned, but she was the only one who made a mess. I am not a domestic goddess, but when I had roommates I tried to be considerate. When I cooked, I would clean up after myself, I wouldn't leave personal items in the living room unless that is where they belonged, etc. Well one day PBRFH made a huge mess in the kitchen and left a plate of food out on the island. My other roommate left a sign that said -Day One. He got to Day Three. She pitched a fit. He was very calm and just said plainly, "I'm just making an observation, you left it out." It was sweet. She went away for 6 weeks, leaving me with the two guy roommates. The trash got taken out, the dishes got done, etc. all with little to no discussion. One time I spent the after noon sweeping and mopping and wiping down the counters extra good and she comes in and says, "Why didn't you clean the living room." Which was full of HER CRAP! And furthermore she had a guest coming, not me, so why should I clean the living room? OH, that didn't go over well, let me tell you.

Sorry I don't know how to tell you to communicate with your roommie- my solution to that problem was to MOVE.

goatmam
06-25-2008, 12:32 AM
goatmam, you may not be able to change the boyfriend, but the roommate is something else. Next time your lease is up for renewal, write him up a sublease for his part. Include the financial stuff, of course, and put in conditions about additional charges if he does not take care of certain pick-up-after-yourself basics. Consider only a handful of items which inconvenience you the most
$1 per day for towels left on bathroom floor, shower curtain rod, or counter
$1 per item for dishes, silverware, glassware, cups, etc. left anywhere other than the kitchen
$5 per offense for failure to clean the kitchen thoroughly when it's his turn. Cleaning includes unloading and reloading the dishwasher, wiping counters, washing items which cannot go in the dishwasher, and sweeping the floor. (Or set your own very specific standards.)
Fines totaling more than $50 in a calendar month result in voiding of the lease, and he has 30 days to move out.Those are just examples, of course, and you're going to have to be a total hardass about enforcing them. Enlist your boyfriend's help, so you present a united front. Document each offense, and get the roommate to initial the entry, acknowledging that he owes extra. Tally at the end of the month. You'll probably end up having to clean nearly as much, but you'll have some extra cash in your pocket.

Maryn, who's lived with bad roomies more than once


Your advice is good but there is one problem... Him and my BF are the main income... UGN... I figure perhaps I'll just take his dirty junk and start tossing it on his bed! Then he'll have no choice but to do something with it.

goatmam
06-25-2008, 12:34 AM
So if he cleans up then the reward is sex with his friend's girl. I like that arrangement. ;)

Oh please god no.

SPMiller
06-25-2008, 12:37 AM
I know we had a thread about this very recently.

But carry on. Let's have yet another thread about bashing men for not doing house chores--as if that were true--but don't you dare suggest that women might have their own problems ;)

sassandgroove
06-25-2008, 01:01 AM
Your advice is good but there is one problem... Him and my BF are the main income... UGN... I figure perhaps I'll just take his dirty junk and start tossing it on his bed! Then he'll have no choice but to do something with it.No- he'll sleep on it.


I know we had a thread about this very recently.

But carry on. Let's have yet another thread about bashing men for not doing house chores--as if that were true--but don't you dare suggest that women might have their own problems ;)
I wasn't bashing men. I am always very complimentary of my husband and state how much he helps. I bashed my EX Psycho Bitch Roommate From Hell, who was very much a woman. BUt carry on.

tjwriter
06-25-2008, 01:15 AM
Your advice is good but there is one problem... Him and my BF are the main income... UGN... I figure perhaps I'll just take his dirty junk and start tossing it on his bed! Then he'll have no choice but to do something with it.

This might work. When we moved, the master closet was smaller than our previous closet, so I told the husband he'd have to figure out what he wanted to hang in the closet, give away, etc. I laid out all his clothes on the dining room table so he could go through the stuff. It sat there for two weeks while I waited on him. Finally, in a fit of frustrated rage, I took all the clothes off the table, put them neatly on his side of the bed and went to sleep on my side of the bed. The clothes were dealt with.


I know we had a thread about this very recently.

But carry on. Let's have yet another thread about bashing men for not doing house chores--as if that were true--but don't you dare suggest that women might have their own problems ;)

Most of these posts seem to be personal experiences, not just man bashing, but I guess I could compile a list of my issues for you later this evening, if you'd like.

Mr Flibble
06-25-2008, 01:24 AM
I know we had a thread about this very recently.

But carry on. Let's have yet another thread about bashing men for not doing house chores--as if that were true--but don't you dare suggest that women might have their own problems ;)

I'm sorry sweetie, I've made a mess again. I know how much you hate it when I do this. I promise faithfully I'll see the shrink tommorow, ok? Now, would you mind hiding the bodies while I mop the blood?

Oh, and if you could straighten out the bend in my mace, that would be very kind. That last one had a very hard head.

:D

those are the women's problems in my house.

SPMiller
06-25-2008, 01:43 AM
No no! I don't actually want to know about womens' problems, thanks. I have enough of my own ;)

But I'd be willing to deal with IRU's problems. Hey, I have a few specific targets I'd like you to use this mace on. If the price is hiding some bodies and some minor blacksmithing, I can handle that.

Fingers
06-25-2008, 02:26 AM
You have a valid point and I think of that alot.

(chopped quote)

So men do a lot of things... but it's not an everyday thing.. and some of the chores requires operating a machine. If men had to houseclean they would have ride on vacumn cleaners. :)


My first response to this was OH YEAH!?! But upon further consideration my reply would be OH YEAH?!?

My wife and I have both worked. I have made my own lunch, done my own laundry, and kept my room clean for years. The Boss does not allow me to do her laundry. Now that Im off work I have a daily routine of doing the dishes (by hand as we dont have a dish washer), take out garbage and recycling, make the bed, clean the cat box, and at least a couple of times a week I sweep the floors ( hardwood floors in almost the whole house), clean the bathroom and vacuum the whole house. I also mow the lawn (a walk behind self propelled mower), do all the household repairs and take care of her car and my little green datsun.

About once a month The Boss will dust the house, and do all the cleaning she figures needs to be done. She leaves the house at 5AM and comes home most nights after 7PM. She works pretty dang hard, so I do my darndest to make sure she doesnt have to come home and pick things up. I may be the exception to the rule, but I take exception to the rule.

Phew. Wordy arent I? For what its worth, no comment on the rest of the discussion.

yer pal Brian ;)

James81
06-25-2008, 02:42 AM
(and I don't mean to generalize)

Well then don't. ;)

My ex-wife was the laziest slob alive and *I* did all the housework when we were married.

Silver King
06-25-2008, 03:46 AM
Here we go again, another thread about how men (in general) don't do enough around the house, can't pull their own weight in relationships and so on.

It gets old after a while listening to the same freaking tune around here, especially when the lyrics are tired and trite and nowhere near covers the experiences of many couples.

So go on, bitch and moan all you want if it makes you feel better. But remember this: your sorry-ass man represents only one person. One. Even though you'd like to think otherwise, he is not indicative of the entire male spectrum.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash the dishes while my wife watches Jeopardy with her friend. Not because I have to, but because I want to. And please don't get me started on listing every other goddamn thing I had to do around the house today...

robeiae
06-25-2008, 04:04 AM
Women aren't very good at math.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-25-2008, 04:40 AM
Ol' Boy's mama raised him up right. He never leaves dirty clothes in the floor, never leaves the lid up on the toilet, cooks as much as I do, cleans as much as I do, mows the lawn (with which I help him by doing the trimming), fills and empties the dishwasher, cleans out the cat boxes, picks up, puts away, maintains the things that need maintaining, fixes things that need fixing, and never fails to ask me if I need help with anything. As we've aged, he sees the toll arthritis has taken and he's careful to be ever mindful of my limits (something I, myself, fail to do)... and he's taken on more and more - thinking I don't notice - as I've been able to do less and less.

No. All men aren't lazy slobs. I'll testify on their behalf any day.

Cranky
06-25-2008, 06:23 AM
Ol' Boy's mama raised him up right. He never leaves dirty clothes in the floor, never leaves the lid up on the toilet, cooks as much as I do, cleans as much as I do, mows the lawn (with which I help him by doing the trimming), fills and empties the dishwasher, cleans out the cat boxes, picks up, puts away, maintains the things that need maintaining, fixes things that need fixing, and never fails to ask me if I need help with anything. As we've aged, he sees the toll arthritis has taken and he's careful to be ever mindful of my limits (something I, myself, fail to do)... and he's taken on more and more - thinking I don't notice - as I've been able to do less and less.

No. All men aren't lazy slobs. I'll testify on their behalf any day.

Same here.

I've decided that whatever issues I have over housework are MINE, because the DH pitches in whenever I ask him to. No complaining, he just does it.

I want to be happy, not right, and in the end, a happy husband makes me happier than a cleaning, but unhappy spouse. :) It took us a few years to get to that point, though.

And HIS ex-wife was a horrible slob, btw. Stuck dirty dishes in the oven and THE WASHING MACHINE instead of washing them. Ugh.

Fraulein
06-25-2008, 07:32 AM
Women aren't very good at math.
I

:heart:

math

chevbrock
06-25-2008, 07:50 AM
I mustn't be good at math, either.

As far as I can see, the ratio is all wrong. Members of the household who drop:5. Members of the household who pick up:1.

That ratio looks a little unbalanced to me.

Kthrok
06-25-2008, 05:39 PM
Well I guess I can put in my 2 cents (probably have change coming back). That is a prob in our household but not because I am lazy but because I can't seem to do it right. Kit is a very picky person things have to be just right and in just the right place...When her and I first got together I did do alot of cleaning, even tho I lived with other people they were not home alot and 99% of any messes in the house were mine. So I did all the cleaning(except when they were home). After Kit and I got together she started helping out and put things where she wanted even if I do clean up she comes behind and cleans up again. Tho when Kit was the one that was working I did everything for her. Made her breakfast before she got up had dinner ready when she got home and did all the household chores

Tink
06-25-2008, 05:45 PM
I wantta here Kitrianna's side to this story..... :D

goatmam
06-25-2008, 07:12 PM
Here we go again, another thread about how men (in general) don't do enough around the house, can't pull their own weight in relationships and so on.

It gets old after a while listening to the same freaking tune around here, especially when the lyrics are tired and trite and nowhere near covers the experiences of many couples.

So go on, bitch and moan all you want if it makes you feel better. But remember this: your sorry-ass man represents only one person. One. Even though you'd like to think otherwise, he is not indicative of the entire male spectrum.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash the dishes while my wife watches Jeopardy with her friend. Not because I have to, but because I want to. And please don't get me started on listing every other goddamn thing I had to do around the house today...

Not at all how I meant this thread to go... It was more toward the disrespect my bf's friend was showing me.. But I got alot of good advice here, talked to my bf and have a few things to try out around here xD

goatmam
06-25-2008, 07:15 PM
Well I guess I can put in my 2 cents (probably have change coming back). That is a prob in our household but not because I am lazy but because I can't seem to do it right. Kit is a very picky person things have to be just right and in just the right place...When her and I first got together I did do alot of cleaning, even tho I lived with other people they were not home alot and 99% of any messes in the house were mine. So I did all the cleaning(except when they were home). After Kit and I got together she started helping out and put things where she wanted even if I do clean up she comes behind and cleans up again. Tho when Kit was the one that was working I did everything for her. Made her breakfast before she got up had dinner ready when she got home and did all the household chores


For a second you had me picturing Kit as Monica from friends xD

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-25-2008, 08:05 PM
Your advice is good but there is one problem... Him and my BF are the main income... UGN... I figure perhaps I'll just take his dirty junk and start tossing it on his bed! Then he'll have no choice but to do something with it.

Then he's at least contributing something to the arrangement? Is housekeeping your part of maintaining an equal share in the lifestyle support?

sassandgroove
06-26-2008, 01:42 AM
Here we go again, another thread about how men (in general) don't do enough around the house, can't pull their own weight in relationships and so on.

It gets old after a while listening to the same freaking tune around here, especially when the lyrics are tired and trite and nowhere near covers the experiences of many couples.

So go on, bitch and moan all you want if it makes you feel better. But remember this: your sorry-ass man represents only one person. One. Even though you'd like to think otherwise, he is not indicative of the entire male spectrum.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash the dishes while my wife watches Jeopardy with her friend. Not because I have to, but because I want to. And please don't get me started on listing every other goddamn thing I had to do around the house today...
:Hug2: Silverking. the OP was about a roommate that didn't clean up. the thread drifted a little, but not every post was about slobby men. :Hug2: I love men, and the roommates I got a long with best and did the most cleaning were men. My husband, as I said, helps when I ask and does thinks I don't think of like mowing the lawn.

Jcomp
06-26-2008, 01:46 AM
You ladies should know by now that we men are extra-crazy-sensitive. Our feelings are so hurt... everytime you post something like this... the weeping and... all the soggy tissues... it's just... I can't...

*sob*

robeiae
06-26-2008, 01:52 AM
*hands Jcomp a tissue*

There, there...

Jcomp
06-26-2008, 02:00 AM
*hands Jcomp a tissue*

There, there...

Thanks rob.... hey... what the f-...rob, dude, this tissue is already moist...

not cool bro...

robeiae
06-26-2008, 02:08 AM
I found it in the bathroom.

Tink
06-26-2008, 02:22 AM
I found it in the bathroom.Yuck!!!!!!!!! See and ya'll wonder why some women complain.... :D

robeiae
06-26-2008, 03:27 AM
It was the women's bathroom...

goatmam
06-26-2008, 03:37 AM
Then he's at least contributing something to the arrangement? Is housekeeping your part of maintaining an equal share in the lifestyle support?

Not at all, I pay the utilities and groceries. He and Luis pay half the rent. I don't pay to much less then he does considering. I can handle cleaning up here and there but it's like the guy EXPECTS me to because I am a girl. Or so he said today. It's more than just the cleaning though. He'll start up a conversation with me and when I go to speak he'll be like, oh sorry no time to talk to you I got to go. It was like this all the time, until I actually started ignoring him and pretending he wasn't even in the room.

goatmam
06-26-2008, 03:39 AM
It was the women's bathroom...

What were you doing in there? Do we have a peeping tom?

Jcomp
06-26-2008, 03:44 AM
It was the women's bathroom...

Ah... well then...

Silver King
06-26-2008, 03:48 AM
Not at all how I meant this thread to go... It was more toward the disrespect my bf's friend was showing me.. But I got alot of good advice here, talked to my bf and have a few things to try out around here xD
Yeah, once a thread is sent out into the wild, there's no telling which direction it will take. The discussion often shifts this way and that, and it's nearly impossible to predict the tone a thread will take at any given time. That's part of the risk, but also the beauty of, posting here.

Glad to hear you've received some good advice to help straighten out your roommate. I mentioned in another thread the other day how some folks will take advantage of us all the way up until we make them stop. Put your foot down once and for all and make him believe you're serious. And be sure your boyfriend backs you up all of the way.

:Hug2: Silverking. the OP was about a roommate that didn't clean up. the thread drifted a little, but not every post was about slobby men... :Hug2:
I know. I was mainly concerned about the recent tendency of men being derided and marginalized during discussions. I hadn't really noticed until it was brought to my attention by a couple of our female members. Most of it I view as harmless banter, which is healthy and ongoing and won't ever stop. And that's fine. Sometimes, though, the comments run dangerously close to insulting men in general, which we should try to avoid; heck, we should try to avoid causing offense to any group, not just men.

robeiae
06-26-2008, 04:03 AM
Btw, in my experience women make a far bigger mess in bathrooms then men. This is true both in private bathrooms and in public restrooms.

When I worked in a grocery store, it was almost always the case that the women's bathroom was more of a mess then the men's. Sometimes, exceptionally more...

DL Hegel
06-26-2008, 04:07 AM
Btw, in my experience women make a far bigger mess in bathrooms then men. This is true both in private bathrooms and in public restrooms.

When I worked in a grocery store, it was almost always the case that the women's bathroom was more of a mess then the men's. Sometimes, exceptionally more...
I hate to say this but --Robeiae speaks the truth.

goatmam
06-26-2008, 05:56 AM
Yeah, once a thread is sent out into the wild, there's no telling which direction it will take. The discussion often shifts this way and that, and it's nearly impossible to predict the tone a thread will take at any given time. That's part of the risk, but also the beauty of, posting here.

Glad to hear you've received some good advice to help straighten out your roommate. I mentioned in another thread the other day how some folks will take advantage of us all the way up until we make them stop. Put your foot down once and for all and make him believe you're serious. And be sure your boyfriend backs you up all of the way.

I know. I was mainly concerned about the recent tendency of men being derided and marginalized during discussions. I hadn't really noticed until it was brought to my attention by a couple of our female members. Most of it I view as harmless banter, which is healthy and ongoing and won't ever stop. And that's fine. Sometimes, though, the comments run dangerously close to insulting men in general, which we should try to avoid; heck, we should try to avoid causing offense to any group, not just men.

I can see how men could take offense though.. I have actually been offended myself about how men are portrayed at times, and it's not at all how I would portray them. Do you know how hard it was for me to find a respectable not to serious father's day card for my dad. All of them were about how men sit on the couch drinking beer and acting like slobs... WTF?

goatmam
06-26-2008, 05:56 AM
Btw, in my experience women make a far bigger mess in bathrooms then men. This is true both in private bathrooms and in public restrooms.

When I worked in a grocery store, it was almost always the case that the women's bathroom was more of a mess then the men's. Sometimes, exceptionally more...


You know your right. I've notice the same thing at work.

Fraulein
06-26-2008, 06:01 AM
Btw, in my experience women make a far bigger mess in bathrooms then men. This is true both in private bathrooms and in public restrooms.

When I worked in a grocery store, it was almost always the case that the women's bathroom was more of a mess then the men's. Sometimes, exceptionally more...
That's not the case where I work. I had to use the men's bathroom one day, and I almost died. :eek: It smelled awful. I was so afraid to touch anything...

IceCreamEmpress
06-26-2008, 06:10 AM
goatmam, it sounds like you're addressing your problems with your BF and your housemate, which is great. It does sound like they haven't been responsible about cleaning so far, and it's good that the three of you are talking about what you each expect of the others in future.

But they're just 2 of the world's 3 billion plus male humans, so they're hardly a valid statistical sample! ;)