The men around me don't lift a finger!!!

I feel your pain. I love my husband dearly but when it comes to helping around the house.....well, he sucks! I really don't think he sees the mess that I see. After 8 hours of standing in a 2' x 2' spot at work, I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is come home and start cleaning. He can't understand why I walk in the door and start picking things up. He'll tell me to sit down because I'm still in "scanning" mode. It drives me crazy! I think what irritates me the most is the fact he'll sit there starving and wait for me to get home to cook him something to eat. I tell him all the time that I've never met someone so intelligent who has no idea how to operate the oven or microwave. It's been 19 years so I guess at this point I've spoiled him so nothing is probably going to change.

I have the same thing. Fifty percent of my work is cleaning up after my wife. I say, 'don't put it down, put it away,' but it's no use. Only when we're having visitors (a rare happening) she gets stuck in and grumbles all the time. I don't expect her to do a lot of cleaning - I just want her to stop making the mess.

There is only one motivator. Tell you BF to talk to him or he gets no nookie. Nuff said

auntybug said:

There is only one motivator. Tell you BF to talk to him or he gets no nookie. Nuff said

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So if he cleans up then the reward is sex with his friend's girl. I like that arrangement.

*slaps Spooky around with a moose* men!

My wife and I have had this discussion. I think it's true, men (at least me) don't neccessarily "see" the same mess. I told my wife, just ask me to do it and I will. If there's something you need help with, say so and I'll do it. I'll do the laundry, the dishes, whatever, but, yeah, I don't really think about those chores as something I need to do right now. I lived a long time on my own and even though we've been married for 8 years, I still think the dishes need to be done only when we're down to paper plates.

goatmam said:

Men (and I don't mean to generalize) are so lazy when it comes to basic house chores.

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Actually, if you don't mean to generalize, I suggest you DON'T generalize.

The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

Captshady said:

The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

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Speak for yourself.

Captshady said:

The age old complaint rears it's ugly head yet again. Men don't help out enough around the house (but I don't count home repairs, and vehicle and lawn maintenance), and women don't put out enough. They'll never go away because both are true.

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Not so in all households....'nuff said!!!

Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom????

For some men not enough nookie means they aren't getting it every waking moment of the day when they are either-
a) not at work
b) not watching television
c) not playing with their toys (race car, lawn mower, other power tools)

And for the more kinky amongst them...they'd like to try multi-tasking

As the one in the house who does most of the cleaning, cooking and laundry, I take OFFENSE! Nah, not really. It isn't a "men" thing, though. It's a "him" thing.

Who's name is on the lease? How long has he lived there? Throw the guy out. It's time he grew up and got his own place anyway. HOWEVER, if you ever find yourself in a position of looking at the boyfriend and saying "It's him or me." ? It's you who needs to move out. If the boyfriend puts you in that position, he's not ready for a serious relationship.

Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.

Captshady said:

Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom????

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My husband has ABSOLUTEly nothing to complain about in the bedroom or any other room in the house for that matter...We have a great relationship in that dept. and I do all the danged housework and the lawnmowing and the pool cleaning and I have helped or did every major/minor job or repair that has been done around our place...and I don't mind because My husb. works hard at his job and I work hard at mine...which is being the best wife he could ever want and trust me on this--- I KEEP HIM VERY PLEASED!!!!

My husband is actually quite good at doing his half of the chores. He sometimes even does more than I expect. His excuse? He's afraid I'll throw him out if he doesn't. From his point of view, it's much easier to split the chores with me than end up on his own and be responsible for doing everything!

Captshady said:

Yeah ... it's always women that are quick to throw that "that's not true" flag on their bedroom activities. Men? Ya hardly hear a peep of disagreement LOL

Soooo many comedies and comics play on the "my wife don't give me much nookie" joke variations because men are completely satisfied with the number of times in the bedroom????

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You know what? I bet that a lot of women wish they got it more too!

And you can believe what you want, but my husband is a very happy, satisfied man. All those things men don't think women do after marriage? Yeah. Not an issue in our house.

On the other hand, I still have to ask him to help around the house, but only because for some reason he doesn't see the dishes in the sink or notice the clothes on the floor (even after tripping over them). But when I ask, he's happy to oblige.

Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.

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Good one...I can imagine that did do the trick!!!

Williebee said:

Other than that? Do what I did to my kid. If she leaves stuff lying around, put it in a box. When the box is full, throw it away. It only had to happen once.

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My mom did that! Once she went around with a huge garbage bag and threw away everything that we had left laying around the house.

But then she chickened out and gave it all back to us - but not until we'd forgotten what it was she'd taken from us in the first place.

Tink said:

My husband has ABSOLUTEly nothing to complain about in the bedroom or any other room in the house for that matter...We have a great relationship in that dept. and I do all the danged housework and the lawnmowing and the pool cleaning and I have helped or did every major/minor job or repair that has been done around our place...and I don't mind because My husb. works hard at his job and I work hard at mine...which is being the best wife he could ever want and trust me on this--- I KEEP HIM VERY PLEASED!!!!

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How many times can I rep one post?

I assumed we were speaking in the realm of both partners working outside the home as well. But in either case, I don't leaving my job feeling that I didn't give it my all. And I never liked going to sleep at night thinking I didn't do at the VERY least, my share (and the share is the part that comes into question most often).

Let me give you cause to rejoice.

Just after our first child was born, economics forced that I go live with my mother during the week so she'll take care of our daughter (some 40 miles from our house) so I could go back to work and get caught up on bills a rough pregnancy had piled up.

I went home most every weekend for the 4 months we had this arrangement. After working 40-50 hours a week at manual labor job and then being single mom all week, I had an entire house to clean every weekend. After a while, I just couldn't do it all and stopped, informing him that he had to pick up the slack and giving him a list of minimum tasks he had to take care of (ie: rinsing dishes off, putting clothes in hamper, throwing empty things in the garbage)--which he agreed to.

When I brought the baby home after a few months of a very emotionally strained but financially satisfying experience, the house was a pit. There were PILES of garbage throughout the living room. I could not pull the chairs from the dining room table for all the crap around the room or for fear of toppling what was piled on the table. There were untouched dishes stacked and molding from the very weekend he agreed to help out. I won't go into what horrors lay in the bathroom or our bedroom.

My mother, two sisters and I cleaned that place for a solid 3-day weekend, 10-12 hours a day, in order to bring it to the point it was safe to bring a baby just being to crawl into.

And when we were done? I got b****ed at because he couldn't find his stuff. Actually, I still get b****ed at because his stuff disappeared, now over 20 years ago and most of that after the divorce.

That make you feel any better, goatmam?

ACEnders said:

You know what? I bet that a lot of women wish they got it more too!

And you can believe what you want, but my husband is a very happy, satisfied man. All those things men don't think women do after marriage? Yeah. Not an issue in our house.

On the other hand, I still have to ask him to help around the house, but only because for some reason he doesn't see the dishes in the sink or notice the clothes on the floor (even after tripping over them). But when I ask, he's happy to oblige.

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I'm not specifically calling BS on you, just the generalization. Whenever it's mentioned, there's always a BUNCH of women that claim it's different in THEIR case, but very few men every say so.

Captshady said:

How many times can I rep one post?

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I assumed we were speaking in the realm of both partners working outside the home as well. But in either case, I don't leaving my job feeling that I didn't give it my all. And I never liked going to sleep at night thinking I didn't do at the VERY least, my share (and the share is the part that comes into question most often).

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I use to work outside of the house and I still did alot of the work around the house but He did what I thought was his share... I guess I am old fashioned that way, My Momma taught me to take care of My Man in the most downhome type ways and I still hold true to those teachings...plus I am very active and my day goes by quicker if I am busy. Also, I sleep better at night knowing that when I wake up in the morning husb. is still smiling and will be after breakfast and when he returns home from work at night...
..We have had our share of problems (believe me) but not in either of those dept...