Week Two: Chit Chat

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
Jenna's really starting to toughen up the competition already isn't she? 1000-1500 words? Tough length to hit just right. (I won't mention the poetry option.) Personally, I'm anxious to see what the Remaining Nine do with this week's theme.

:popcorn:
 

Melina

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You said it! Hey, could you pass the popcorn? That looks great! I've got some beers in the ice chest. Had to stop drinking Pepsi...

Melina
 

firehorse

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Melina said:
Had to stop drinking Pepsi...
You didn't resort to Red Bull? I'm in awe.

Seriously, thank you Melina, and rest well for the next week!
 

Melina

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I'm afraid to try red bull. I hear it tastes like crap. If it was good, I'd be all over it.

And you're welcome! The pleasure is all mine, really! I am diggin' this contest, and I'm so happy to be involved!

Melina
 

maestrowork

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Red Bull is nasty, unless you're drunk or stoned or on whatever mind-altering chemicals. It's nothing but piss water with a mega dose of caffeine. Stay away.
 

dragonjax

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Birol said:
Jenna's really starting to toughen up the competition already isn't she? 1000-1500 words? Tough length to hit just right. (I won't mention the poetry option.) Personally, I'm anxious to see what the Remaining Nine do with this week's theme.

:popcorn:

Birol, my friend, it's not the "Remaining Nine." It goes as follows:

Top Ten
Nail-Biting Nine
Elite Eight *
Super Seven
Stylin' Six
Ferocious Five
Final Four *
Thick-Skinned Three
Terrific Two
The Absolute Write Idol :thankyou:

* Yeah, so NCAA Basketball thought of it first. Come to think of it, the auditions did take place during March Madness...Coincidence? I think not...

;)
 

firehorse

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dragonjax said:
Nail-Biting Nine
Well, then, I should have nothing to worry about. I've already chewed my nails down below the quick. ;)
 

Birol

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That's a good question right now.
Joanne indicated earlier she had, too. I guess that means you two don't have to worry. ;)

Dragonjax, I like that list. You'll have to keep it handy in the coming weeks. :D
 

sgtsdaughter

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maestrowork said:
Red Bull is nasty, unless you're drunk or stoned or on whatever mind-altering chemicals. It's nothing but piss water with a mega dose of caffeine. Stay away.

nope red bull is necter of the gods. doesn't taste that bad if you drink sugerless. and you can always mix it with malibu.
 

brokenfingers

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Melina said:
Do ya like it? You don't think it makes me look fat, do you?

Melina

"Uh, no Melina. Not at all... ahem... really..." answers brokenfingers as he looks everywhere but at Melina...
 

firehorse

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Melina said:
You don't think it makes me look fat, do you?
Coincidentally, I was going to use this line (not from Melina!) as the crux of my story, but I changed my mind, because the way I see it, someone who asks this - and again, uh, I don't mean you Melina - is really saying "am I still attractive to you?" and/or "do you still love me?" But because that misunderstanding occurs in the woman's subconscious, I wasn't sure it would count.

And Melina, I think you look fabulous! :kiss:
 

firehorse

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Birol said:
Did the entry touch a single cell of my being?
Does the funny bone count as a cell? (I hope)

I'm discovering that when writing characters with a less-than-perfect grasp of grammar, it's difficult to figure out how to use incorrect grammar and punctuation correctly. Does that make sense? In other words, how do I write it so it's clearly the character's issue, not mine?
 

pepperlandgirl

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Congrats to DPJ for getting it posted so quickly!!!

Mine is currently doings its rounds with my trust betas. Hopefully it'll be ready to post soon....
 

DJP

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Congrats to DPJ for getting it posted so quickly!!!

Thanks Pepper, this week is crazy for me, so I'm glad to check this off my to do list. I can't wait to read all the other entries and see the different ways we all approached this.
 

brinkett

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stranger said:
Firehorse, what I would say about giving characters grammatically incorrect dialogue is to choose one way in which the character errs and have them repeat that mistake. It then becomes obvious that it is a quirk of character rather than an authorial error.
I tried this with my last work. I had one of my characters always say "me and John" whenever she should have been saying "John and I". I had four beta readers. It drove all of them nuts. They hated it. Even the two who never commented on grammar consistently pointed it out. One even sent it back edited. I explained that it was intentional. They still didn't like it. They complained about it. They continued to correct it. It was one of the few things they all agreed on.

The expectation seemed to be that a character either speaks with good grammar all the time, or speaks badly all the time (not just a quirk here and there). Since my character was too educated to speak badly all the time, I dropped it.

If you write a character who speaks with less than stellar grammar all the time, I think readers are smart enough to know that it's the character, not the author. After all, you're (hopefully) not making the same mistakes as the character in narrative.
 

trumancoyote

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Brinkett,

Were the people reading your story writers too? I find that, sometimes, when I show friends or family something, and they're not into writing, they tend to be overly critical: get in some sort of 'literary' trance wherein they can't take something for what it is, and even go so far as to sacrifice art to correct grammar, in spite of whether the grammar was intentionally tweaked or not.

Essentially: they're trying too hard.
 

brinkett

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One of the four was a writer. Only one was a "family or friend" (not the writer). If anything, I found the writer the most critical of the four. For the record, I find that writers tend to nitpick more than non-writers do. Non-writers read like the vast majority of readers do, whereas writers tend to focus on things that may or may not matter to the typical reader.

I don't think they were trying too hard. It bothered them, plain and simple. In my case, I think it was because the character only had the one quirk, and that's the point I was responding to in my post. Either a character speaks well or they don't. To have a character who usually speaks well have a single quirk doesn't seem to work.

But I don't think firehorse has to worry. As I said, the reader can tell that it's the character and not the author because the author isn't making the same mistakes in narrative.
 

William Haskins

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dialogue owes nothing to grammatical conventions. if it's inside quotation marks (or outside, as in the first person narration of huck finn) the writer's only responsibility is making it clear enough for the reader to follow.