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William Haskins
06-23-2008, 03:33 AM
the (somehow depressing) innards of kids' toys:

http://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.mattkirkland.com/ursum.html

"i love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

http://s3.amazonaws.com/s3.mattkirkland.com/ursum_files/barn2.jpg

StoryG27
06-23-2008, 03:36 AM
Barney is disturbing with or without fluff n' stuff.

William Haskins
06-23-2008, 03:39 AM
how can you look into those eyes lying there on the floor, connected by wires, and say such a thing?

Siddow
06-23-2008, 03:39 AM
Those are cool! I like the cow with the flesh-eating disease.

Silver King
06-23-2008, 03:45 AM
I remember when animating a stuffed toy meant shoving your hand into its body cavity and moving your fingers around to make it appear life-like. Ventriloquism added greatly to the effect.

Man, I feel old...

StoryG27
06-23-2008, 03:45 AM
The cow was really bad.

StoryG27
06-23-2008, 03:46 AM
I remember when animating a stuffed toy meant shoving your hand into its body cavity and moving your fingers around to make it appear life-like. Ventriloquism added greatly to the effect.

Man, I feel old...
Yeah, cuz' that image is MUCH less creepy.

Silver King
06-23-2008, 03:47 AM
Yeah, cuz' that image is MUCH less creepy.
It's all a matter of word choice. ;)

William Haskins
06-23-2008, 03:48 AM
there's a joke here, but it's much too soon to get banned again.

Silver King
06-23-2008, 03:53 AM
there's a joke here, but it's much too soon to get banned again.
Aw, go on and tell the joke. I can't ban anyone. And besides, I'll stick up for you, and maybe we'll both get the boot simultaneously. Now that would be rapturous...

StoryG27
06-23-2008, 03:56 AM
Aw, go on and tell the joke. I can't ban anyone. And besides, I'll stick up for you, and maybe we'll both get the boot simultaneously. Now that would be rapturous...
Yes, yes you're right. It is all a matter of word choice.

Williebee
06-23-2008, 04:11 AM
I remember when animating a stuffed toy meant shoving your hand into its body cavity and moving your fingers around to make it appear life-like. Ventriloquism added greatly to the effect.

As a smart-assed teenager (as opposed to the older smart ass I am now) I was fooling with puppets in a toy store with my seven year old step brother, and he asked, "How do you put on a puppet?"

"Tell him: 'Your mother is dead'," I answered.

I guess he didn't hear the first two words.

He burst into tears and went wailing out into the mall to where his mother was sitting.

I wasn't welcome in their home for several days. :)

Carole
06-23-2008, 05:14 AM
My boys would have preferred this version of Barney. Somehow they knew, even at very young ages, that Barney is the embodiment of evil. :D

Jersey Chick
06-23-2008, 05:18 AM
My son would be very happy just taking the rest of that creepy-ass dino apart. :D

Silver King
06-23-2008, 05:46 AM
My son would be very happy just taking the rest of that creepy-ass dino apart. :D
Ah-huh. Like Jersey forgot, all of a sudden, that my first name is, indeed, Dino. :Wha:

(I love teasing her every chance I get...)

Jersey Chick
06-23-2008, 05:47 AM
Bwahahaha!

Are you looking over your shoulder yet? My 2 year old's a a devil in the making....

But perhaps I ought to reword the creepy-ass part, no? ;)

Silver King
06-23-2008, 06:11 AM
Bwahahaha!

Are you looking over your shoulder yet? My 2 year old's a a devil in the making....

But perhaps I ought to reword the creepy-ass part, no? ;)
Remember The Flintstones, and how Wilma would call out, "Dino, Daddy's home!"

I used to think, Why oh why did they ever name me after that dog?

Then my mom told me, "You weren't named after a cartoon dog, silly. Dean Martin is your name sake."

I'm certain I appeared inquisitive.

Dean, who?

My mom said, "You'll appreciate you're name when you get older."

I'm still waiting, some forty years later...

Jersey Chick
06-23-2008, 06:15 AM
Hmm... I was going to go for the Flintstones angle, but thought that was kinda mean and I'm never, ever, never mean. ;)

At least Dino's unusual - two of my best friends had the same name as me. And there were about six more in my graduating class...

(and no, we weren't all named Jersey :D)

SPMiller
06-23-2008, 07:59 AM
And I expected to see one of Palahniuk's short stories in this thread...

Matera the Mad
06-23-2008, 08:16 AM
Ah, I always loved taking things apart. Toys wound up when I was a pup.

Heck, live bunnies are a lot messier inside (but they taste better cooked).

Jean Marie
06-23-2008, 03:41 PM
I can understand tearing apart Barney. That sucker deserves it. The song's stupid, too. Most families are dysfunctional nowadays, anyway. If they aren't, singing that damned song, or hearing it, day in and day out will make one nuts, guaranteed.

William, I'm sorry I missed your rapture, I was away at the time. No, no don't repeat it on my account. I'll try and read up on it. More than one rapture per month isn't good for the soul, at least that's what I've heard, so don't push things until July.

I loved watching the Flintstones. Dino was a favorite, too. Your parents wouldn't name you after him. Of course they named you after Dean, the famous rat-packer originator.

KTC
06-23-2008, 03:52 PM
how can you look into those eyes lying there on the floor, connected by wires, and say such a thing?

Taking apart your first toy is the first glimmer of truth a child has of the false glory in this dull world. It's like finding out Santa is your shitty old dad. You see the robot spewing smoke and walking in that little ring of fire (my toys were circa 1971, so don't give me any flak man!) and you imagine that anything in the whole wide world is possible. You start to use your Mechano wrenches to take that robot apart and discover that it's not really anything but a bunch of wires and gears. You look for its little robot heart and find grease and batteries... then you know that everything is a whole heap and load of lies. You know all at once that the witch's feet weren't really the witch's feet, but stuffed stockings made to resemble feet. You know that the yellow brick road doesn't exist and that that goddamned shitty shitty bang bang doesn't really fly!!!! Why should today's kids be any less disappointed. Why shouldn't they get to haul the heads off their talking dolly and find wires and grease, goddammit! The world is a false wonderland... they should be disappointed too!

maestrowork
06-23-2008, 07:02 PM
Have you ever dissected a Furbie? Really fun.

http://receptorsmusic.com/FurbinatorCircuitBentFurbyPicByKaizersoze124.jpg

James81
06-23-2008, 07:06 PM
I was really expecting the excerpt from Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted when I opened this thread. :tongue