To Pass The Time
- Thread starter Birol
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Doesn't it have something to do with him trying to shotgun through cyberspace and getting signals mixed... hmmm, thought I remembered something about that.
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Birol said:I suggest everyone write a paragraph or two in which William Haskins meets an untimely end.
Now, now. There are more honest ways of shortening the list of finalists.
Hmmm, but that would be an interesting challenge for the finalists, no? "Your protagonist is one of your fellow finalists. In no more than 1,000 words, do away with said protagonist in as creative a way as you can muster."
Heh. A new spin on "cut-throat competition."
dragonjax said:
Now, now. There are more honest ways of shortening the list of finalists.
Hmmm, but that would be an interesting challenge for the finalists, no? "Your protagonist is one of your fellow finalists. In no more than 1,000 words, do away with said protagonist in as creative a way as you can muster."
Heh. A new spin on "cut-throat competition."
But dragonjax, I'm not a finalist. I merely taunt them during the waits.
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Willy is walking along the sidewalk one fine evening when a pack of ravenous stray dogs get a whiff of his unmistakable scent. Like a mad pack of wolves, they ambush him and tear his coat and hat to pieces, scattering his bones all over the the place. Unfortunately he is in the middle of a demolition zone. There's a horn and all the dogs scatter. Soon William hears something over a PA system.
"5...4...3...2...1...Fire in the Hole!" Zaboom.
hehehe
-Elaine
"5...4...3...2...1...Fire in the Hole!" Zaboom.
hehehe
-Elaine
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It was either that or get grounded for a Witch's spell. But that might cause problems for the witch.
"Will. Hey, Will!"
William Haskins stopped in mid-stride and turned to see who was calling his name and found JDKiggins, his fellow finalist from the Absolute Idol competition, hurrying across the lobby of the Chicago's Palmer House Hotel.
"Hey, Joanne, you got the message, too?"
Joanne stopped as she neared him and glanced over her shoulder. Together, they started walking toward the bank of elevators. "Message? Wha… Oh, yeah. I got the message."
William laughed. "Nervous? Me, too. Who would've thought we'd have to 'be present to win' an online competition? That Jenna, huh? You never know what she's going to pull next."
Joanne ran her fingers through her long hair, tugging at the tangles put there by the wind. "Yeah. You never know quite what to expect."
At the bank of elevators, William reached out to push the button to call the cars. Next to him, Joanne shifted nervously, peering about the lobby.
"You looking for someone?"
"No. I… Ah…" At that moment, the light above a nearby elevator chimed on, indicating the car had arrived. William stepped toward it. Just as the doors opened, Joanne called out to him.
"William?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you hold the car for me? I need to go check on something."
"Sure," William started to step backward as he spoke, "just don't take…" His eyes grew wide as he realized there was no floor beneath his foot. His arms flailed out, looking for purchase. Joanne crossed her arms and shifted her weight, waiting. A second later, he lost his balance and fell.
"Thank goodness," BlueTexas stepped out from behind a potted plant as she spoke. "I thought he was going to catch himself for a minute, there."
"There you are! I was starting to think you hadn't made it in time."
BlueTexas rolled her eyes. Joanne smiled. "My laptop is set up in my room. Want to see if Jenna's posted the results yet?"
Arm-in-arm, the two finalists hurried toward the stairs.
William Haskins stopped in mid-stride and turned to see who was calling his name and found JDKiggins, his fellow finalist from the Absolute Idol competition, hurrying across the lobby of the Chicago's Palmer House Hotel.
"Hey, Joanne, you got the message, too?"
Joanne stopped as she neared him and glanced over her shoulder. Together, they started walking toward the bank of elevators. "Message? Wha… Oh, yeah. I got the message."
William laughed. "Nervous? Me, too. Who would've thought we'd have to 'be present to win' an online competition? That Jenna, huh? You never know what she's going to pull next."
Joanne ran her fingers through her long hair, tugging at the tangles put there by the wind. "Yeah. You never know quite what to expect."
At the bank of elevators, William reached out to push the button to call the cars. Next to him, Joanne shifted nervously, peering about the lobby.
"You looking for someone?"
"No. I… Ah…" At that moment, the light above a nearby elevator chimed on, indicating the car had arrived. William stepped toward it. Just as the doors opened, Joanne called out to him.
"William?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you hold the car for me? I need to go check on something."
"Sure," William started to step backward as he spoke, "just don't take…" His eyes grew wide as he realized there was no floor beneath his foot. His arms flailed out, looking for purchase. Joanne crossed her arms and shifted her weight, waiting. A second later, he lost his balance and fell.
"Thank goodness," BlueTexas stepped out from behind a potted plant as she spoke. "I thought he was going to catch himself for a minute, there."
"There you are! I was starting to think you hadn't made it in time."
BlueTexas rolled her eyes. Joanne smiled. "My laptop is set up in my room. Want to see if Jenna's posted the results yet?"
Arm-in-arm, the two finalists hurried toward the stairs.
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If this were The Breakfsat Club, William would be Judd Nelson falling through the ceiling tiles.
well-played. if only you'd allow firehorse to come and stomp on my white-knuckled hands as my fingers clawed at the floor to keep from falling.
she'd really like to, you know.
she'd really like to, you know.
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It was a dark and stormy night, fraught with tension as the finalists waited nervously for the sainted Melina to reveal their fates. The storm raged from east to west, hailing on all in Finalist-Land. William was distraught; his monitor was acting funny. Every time he hit 'refresh', the usable screen shrank by a fraction of an inch. Within minutes, there was a black margin two inches wide on all sides. He tried rebooting, no luck.
Still, the desire to know was strong. He hit refresh. Again, and again. He thought he was safe as long as the screen was wide enough to read his name, so he kept pushing.
And error message popped up: Screen resolution must be at least 250 pixels wide or implosion will occur.
He refreshed. The screen shrank. Better to die than not to know! Refresh. BOOM!
Little bits of William clung to the ceiling fan, stringy globs of murky evil, splattering the walls red. The splatters formed a message: William Haskins has advanced to Round Two.
Still, the desire to know was strong. He hit refresh. Again, and again. He thought he was safe as long as the screen was wide enough to read his name, so he kept pushing.
And error message popped up: Screen resolution must be at least 250 pixels wide or implosion will occur.
He refreshed. The screen shrank. Better to die than not to know! Refresh. BOOM!
Little bits of William clung to the ceiling fan, stringy globs of murky evil, splattering the walls red. The splatters formed a message: William Haskins has advanced to Round Two.
Continued from above:
Minutes after Williams timely demise, the storm lifted. Unfortunately, Jenna was the one to find the chunks of William that weren't stuck in the fan. She kept tabs on all the finalists, psychically, and so knew when he had died.
By the time she arrived at his penthouse in the underworld, William's guts had begun to smell. Bravely, she bagged him up in a Hefty sack, and started making house calls to the other finalists. Joanne took the news calmly over her cup of tea. When Jenna wasn't looking, Joanne snuck a bit of his blood into her own cup. Mmmm...sweet satisfaction.
At Blue's house, Jenna left the bag untended for a moment, and Blue snuck a finger out. She hid it in her back pocket, and later, buried it under a prickly pear cactus in her garden. The cactus quickly turned black.
Minutes after Williams timely demise, the storm lifted. Unfortunately, Jenna was the one to find the chunks of William that weren't stuck in the fan. She kept tabs on all the finalists, psychically, and so knew when he had died.
By the time she arrived at his penthouse in the underworld, William's guts had begun to smell. Bravely, she bagged him up in a Hefty sack, and started making house calls to the other finalists. Joanne took the news calmly over her cup of tea. When Jenna wasn't looking, Joanne snuck a bit of his blood into her own cup. Mmmm...sweet satisfaction.
At Blue's house, Jenna left the bag untended for a moment, and Blue snuck a finger out. She hid it in her back pocket, and later, buried it under a prickly pear cactus in her garden. The cactus quickly turned black.
Cont'd
Firehorse and Birol were visiting Blue later that evening, commiserating the loss of William. Blue showed them the dead cactus. Firehorse, her eyes wide, demanded to see the finger. Birol dug it up. He brushed a slug from the fingernail, which had already turned black, and handed it to Firehorse.
"I think I'll have it bronzed," said Firehorse. "That way, the next time he clings to a ceiling tile, I can smash his finger to bits!"
Firehorse and Birol were visiting Blue later that evening, commiserating the loss of William. Blue showed them the dead cactus. Firehorse, her eyes wide, demanded to see the finger. Birol dug it up. He brushed a slug from the fingernail, which had already turned black, and handed it to Firehorse.
"I think I'll have it bronzed," said Firehorse. "That way, the next time he clings to a ceiling tile, I can smash his finger to bits!"
And the ceilings have fingers. Yours, apparently.William Haskins said:
Not to interrupt the flow here - okay, yeah, to interrupt - do we know if we're even going to find out tonight?