Stupid Tika Tricks

I asked in general store if they have a man called "Harri", I asked for my older sister. She had a crush on the shop owner's son.
Later she said it was a joke that if I'm able to ask then. I felt so dummy. Grrr!

yeah, yet she said that she pays 10 euros for it if I ask. >.<

When they first brought out quickpicks in the state lottery I asked the young lady in the newsagents for a quickie by mistake. Honestly. I also asked at a health food store for black beans and was told no, but they did have some very dark brown ones!

A very embarressing and somewhat funny thing comes to mind...

...I lived in the suburbs of Chicago (many yrs. ago) and I had just gotten off work. It was about 7:00 am and a friend of mine and me were going out to her car (we shared rides) and the parking-lot was icey and just as we reached her car I lost my footing and down I went. The falling wasn't really that embarressing even though the parking-lot was full of my co-workers, it was my floundering after I fell. I couldn't get back up again, everytime I tried to regain my balance I'd find myself right back down on the icey pavement...I finally just gave up and laid there and laughed along w/half the people standing above me. A nice guy finally came to my rescue after I was about half frozen and completely humiliated... It took quite sometime after that before people quit coming up to me to remind me of it, some would even go so far as to assist me across the parking lot afterwards as if I was some ole lady or something!

I fell out of an above-ground pool once - tried to be all cool and lift myself up to sit on the (narrow) rail that ran the perimeter. Used a just a bit too much oomph and launched myself up and over the side. Landed flat on my back on the grass, knocked the wind out of myself and everyone up on the deck who saw my coolness in action as they laughed themselves silly. Fortunately, the only thing bruised was my pride.

JC, there is nothing worse than bruised pride when one falls. I also did that (fall) bowling one time. My shoes were slick and the floor was even slicker and just as I prepared to let go of the bowling ball I ended up following the ball down the lane on my stomach...talk about bruised pride!

Oh, when I was sitting in a village in PNG I was hit on the head by a falling coconut. Everyone thought they had the laugh on me but if I ever did anything really stupid, I had a good excuse.

Story 1--
Many years ago, my sister and I went rollerskating. Ice skating is more my style but whatthehell. She goes about the rink while I'm holding onto the railing with a death grip. I manage to wiggle my way to the center as she's whizzing around. I turn or blink or breathe and my feet decide to be uncooperative. I land on my knees with a crack--in unison. My knees are more coordinated than my feet. My sister hears this and or sees me, and asks if I'm okay.

"Oh, I'm fine! Don't worry about me," as I crawl on all fours to the rink railing and haul myself up.

Did I mention I hate rollerskating?

Story 2--
Another time I'm visiting my sister who then lived in Texas. She gets a tel call and so I step out through the glass doors to the back yard and spot a hammock strung between two trees. Cool!

I open the fabric and sit on the side--and get dumped. I try from the other side--identical to the first--with identical results. I see my sister looking through the glass, still on the tel, smiling.

I wave and grab that hammock with both hands, straddle, lean back and discover a patch of ground I'd missed falling the first two times.

I get up and see my sister's shoulders shaking and she's still trying to talk. I wave and murmur something between 'Nice hammock' and 'You %$#$&@ hammock'. I grab, spread the fabric, get one knee in and--FLIP. I can't see the sky because the hammock is over my head and I'm on the ground underneath it.

My sister comes out wiping tears from her eyes and sits with no problem.

The hammock just didn't like me.

The first time I went to my now-husband's house, I got lost trying to get back out of the development and spent three hours driving around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. This was before cell phones and I couldn't find my way back to his house, either. It was awful. We were married for something like 5 years before I ever told him and he still won't let me forget it nearly 15 years after it happened.

Many years ago, my girl friend moved from S.C. to live with me 'til she could find a place. After a few months we decided to go ahead and just get married. A pretty lady named Connie, who lived one apartment over, was a good friend to both of us. We were dressed in "quickie' wedding attire and poised to open the door, when we were startled by an urgent knock at the door. Connie, once again needed a boost for her car battery. Being slightly embarrassed that her timing was bad, she hurriedly said, "Oh I didn't know you were getting married today. I was hoping Jim would come "jack me off."

Mumut said:

I asked the young lady in the newsagents for a quickie by mistake.

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These stories are hilarious. And I can really relate to most of them, especially the boat one. I remember once trying to push the boat off the dock (now I know where the expression, shove off, came from) and I did, only I forgot to get in it. So I run down the length of the dock and jump! I hit the bow of the boat with my right foot, spring off and land mostly in the water, clinging to the little light on the front of the boat as I am being dragged slowly through the water by the drifting boat. By now, I can't pull myself up because of the awkward curvature of the boat, plus, I'm laughing really, really hard. Thankfully, some guy pulled up beside my boat, boarded it, and pulled me up and into the boat. Both my kids were in the cuddy cabin laughing at me. Finally, I go to where Hubby is and he hops in, looks at my clothes, cocks his head to the side and grins his devious grin and says, "I bet I missed something funny, huh?"

LOL
I guess my favorite silly thing is ... erm ... leaving a horse's back so I wouldn't fall off.

Clarification: riding bareback with a friend. We turned around, going up toward the top of a high embankment that we would follow back to the farm. The old boy I was riding thought "Yeah! Home!" and sped up dramatically, galumphing diagonally up the slope. I didn't ride often, and I never could keep my seat for sh*t without stirrups. Okay, the options were: fall off.

Brain went into emergency override. Fate would either drop me on the downhill side or the uphill side (a few inches mean a lot to me), and I might land on snow and grass or ...? I took aim at a nice smooth spot on the uphill side. Oof, but no rocks or stumps. Another time, years before, I had grabbed a horse around the neck and swung off (much to his surprise).

So I have never really fallen off a horse, it doesn't count when you leave voluntarily, right?

I wouldn't want to do it now, dem bones is older.

Matera the Mad said:

Clarification: riding bareback with a friend. We turned around, going up toward the top of a high embankment that we would follow back to the farm. The old boy I was riding thought "Yeah! Home!" and sped up dramatically, galumphing diagonally up the slope. I didn't ride often, and I never could keep my seat for sh*t without stirrups. Okay, the options were: fall off.

Brain went into emergency override. Fate would either drop me on the downhill side or the uphill side (a few inches mean a lot to me), and I might land on snow and grass or ...? I took aim at a nice smooth spot on the uphill side. Oof, but no rocks or stumps. Another time, years before, I had grabbed a horse around the neck and swung off (much to his surprise).

So I have never really fallen off a horse, it doesn't count when you leave voluntarily, right?

I wouldn't want to do it now, dem bones is older.

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My mother recently did this. Similar high embankment (side of a creek), same sudden diagonal lurch up the slope (they're supposed to go diagonally). Except she fell into the creek and dislocated her shoulder.

After that, I spent about a week at my parents' house helping her do everything...

I'd always prefered to live in desolate places on my own. When I was in PNG it was perfect, but then I had a three-year courtship by correspondence and returned to Australia to marry and bring my wife back to Wewak. One of my main problems with associating with other people was I couldn't remember names when it mattered. I'd talk to people and call them by name but if I had to introduce them to someone else I'd clam up.

The first day back from getting married I was walking in town (three shops and a pub) and saw Fred approaching. I walked along muttering to myself 'Fred..Fred..Fred..' When we met I said, 'Ah, Fred. I'd like you to meet my wife .....' She had to add 'Jan'.

Do you think I've been allowed to live that down?