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Mela
06-16-2008, 06:16 PM
So I'm at a graduation party Saturday and the cousin of the host shows up with her husband, and because they know the people I'm sitting with, they sit at our table.

Once or twice while we're talking the husband nods toward me like he wants to say something and then...

Him: You look familiar

Not an out of line thing to say. Me: shrug

Him: Where do I know you?

A seemingly innocent question. Me (thinking since we both know the host I've probably seen him at another party). I say, Maybe from another party here.

AND THEN

Him: Didn't I meet you in a bar somewhere?

Three of us joked about that, including the wife who said, 'You're not supposed to ask that in front of me." (My husband, BTW, didn't even bat an eye, since HE knows by this point the guy's an idiot.)

And for the rest of the night, the wife didn't look at me, didn't acknowledge me and when she said good-bye to everyone else at the table, didn't even nod in my direction. And I thought, I'm just sitting here, innocently at a party, and suddenly I've become the physical manifestation of every indiscretion, every wink, every flirt, every indecency.

Have I been in this woman's place before? Yes, years ago, so I could identify with how she felt. But then I'd remember that piece of golden wisdom from the Godfather: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." If I was that woman, I would have cozied up to me and made me a friend and risen above the husband's goof.

What do you all think?

Kitrianna
06-16-2008, 06:25 PM
Her husband had absolutely no tact or decorum. Even if it were true, he should have been smart/polite enough to have found a way to draw you to the side to ask. I can only shake my head at him and pity his poor wife. I can also feel sympathy for you as well. It wasn't your fault that she married an insensitive lout, why should you be shunned for what he said?

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 06:29 PM
Er, what's so shocking about having met you once in a bar?

Now if he'd said 'Didn't we have wild caveman sex on the Ferris Wheel at the county fair' well that would have been dumb. But just meeting someone? In what is after all a public place? If his wife got upset about that she'd have got upset about anything.

stormie
06-16-2008, 06:30 PM
Actually, it sounds like she--the wife--has two problems: One, she doesn't trust her husband,and two, she doesn't know how to react. Best thing for her to have done was ignore it, be friendly to you, but address it with her husband at home. She sunk to his level by ignoring you. I don't think she had to cozy-up to you to you, just treat you like she treated all the others at the table.

Jcomp
06-16-2008, 06:33 PM
Er, what's so shocking about having met you once in a bar?

Now if he'd said 'Didn't we have wild caveman sex on the Ferris Wheel at the county fair' well that would have been dumb. But just meeting someone? In what is after all a public place? If his wife got upset about that she'd have got upset about anything.

Co-sign.

Mela
06-16-2008, 06:33 PM
Yeah, Idiots, I mean it wasn't a totally outlandish thing to ask, you're right - but I guess the more I gauged the wife's reaction the more I realized this was not a good thing.

But then again: a married man asking another man's wife if they'd met in a bar ... presumably total strangers until that afternoon ...mmmm... needed a bit more tact, I think.

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 06:36 PM
But then again: a married man asking another man's wife if they'd met in a bar ... presumably total strangers until that afternoon ...mmmm... needed a bit more tact, I think.

Well if he knew his wife had a problem with jealousy yeah, he needed tact. I talk to men in the pub all the time. My husband talks to women in the pub all the time. What's the big deal? Unless of course he's a serial adulterer and tends to pick up his flings in bars....but that's his and her problem, not yours.

maestrowork
06-16-2008, 06:42 PM
Actually, it sounds like she--the wife--has two problems: One, she doesn't trust her husband,and two, she doesn't know how to react. Best thing for her to have done was ignore it, be friendly to you, but address it with her husband at home. She sunk to his level by ignoring you. I don't think she had to cozy-up to you to you, just treat you like she treated all the others at the table.

I agree. I actually think "Did I see you at a bar" kind of funny and innocent. It's a BAR, not a single's bar. Sheesh. Married women go to bars, sports bar, whatever bar all the time. After work. With their friends. Etc. I do think the wife has issues.

StoryG27
06-16-2008, 06:45 PM
I guess I don't see what is wrong with the husband asking you that. Obviously, if he can't remember, that would signify that is was a while back that he could have possibly met you at a bar, and if he's asking in front of her, that, to me, would show that he's not trying to hide anything.


Glad your hubs didn't react though.

A while back, we had this guy who would NOT stop calling me. Claimed he met me at a bar and that we "hooked up" and I gave him my business card. He claimed all this to Hubby on the phone. When Hubby said, "Look, this is her husband, stop calling." Mr. Idiot said, "I don't give a shit who you are. She's my woman!" Hubby had to bite his lip and be careful because there were about half a dozen 11 yr old girls in the living room while he was having this conversation and I was on the other phone with my sister at the time. Thankfully, the night Idiot claims to have hooked up with me, I was at home with Hubby and we were playing the Wii until the early hours of the morning. But this is like the third guy to call or text me saying we "hooked up" at a bar. I haven't been to a bar in years, and Hubby has never doubted for a second that I'm telling the truth. He just wonders who is handing out my cards at bars and what I did to piss him/her off.

Appalachian Writer
06-16-2008, 06:51 PM
I wouldn't take any bets that the couple's marriage lasts say five more years. A jealous woman and an obvious cheater don't seem like good matches. "You're not supposed to say that in front of me." That sounds like she knows things she doesn't want to know. Some women blame the other-woman before they finally see the source of their troubles. Go figure!

StoryG27
06-16-2008, 06:56 PM
A jealous woman and an obvious cheater don't seem like good matches.
OBVIOUS CHEATER?!?!?!

Really? Because he thinks he met her at a bar? Wow, I guess I just didn't read it like that. He didn't say he hooked up with her at a bar, he just thought he might recognize her from one.

I agree she seems rather insecure, and maybe she has reason, but maybe not. Guys can do or say some obtuse things, but to me, this makes it seem like her really didn't feel like he had anything to hide or anything he should feel guilty about. It's either that, or he is really stupid.

Mela
06-16-2008, 07:21 PM
He struck me as stupid, storygirl, well maybe not stupid, just a blurter, you know, someone who just blurts and doesn't think...

But I'll bow to popular opinion - maybe it really wasn't a bad thing to ask. I guess the wife's reaction made me really uncomfortable

Kitrianna
06-16-2008, 07:24 PM
After having thought about and read other people's takes on it...I have to agree with them. The wife, she have issues.

Lyra Jean
06-16-2008, 07:28 PM
Well, with a woman that insecure and/or jealous the marriage won't last long anyway. Even the guy never asks questions like that again. She'll just find something else to make him look "suspicious"

I was at work when this woman comes up to the service desk to cash her check. She has her baby son and her husband with her. She then asks me if I'm Lyra and went to Southeast H.S. and asks if I knew or dated a guy named Jason. I say yes, I did date a guy named Jason. (She gave a last name but I don't want to post it here). She then gets all in a tizzy saying how he was her at the same time and how could I date him. I calmly told her I didn't know he was dating someone else or I wouldn't have. If I wasn't at work I would have said, "Why do you care now? It was ten years ago and your married with a kid." She's mad at me and when I do recognize her when she comes in to cash a check she waits for someone to cash instead of me. Some people are just weird.

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:29 PM
Ooh, yeah. It's the wife's reaction that seems troubling. He sounds just...stupid. If he were a cheater, he wouldn't have been as obvious.

Or...(and here's my wild imagination running free), he has cheated on her in the past and she sees any woman he goes near, as a threat. Or he has cheated on her in the past, he's playing the game of "Let's see my wifey get all riled up" and he says stupid things to a woman, sees his wife get her nose out of joint, and enjoys watching her stoop to his level.

*Scribbles ideas down for a possible short story*

James81
06-16-2008, 07:30 PM
I am really struggling to see what was so wrong about this.

did he actually meet you in a bar?

maestrowork
06-16-2008, 07:32 PM
I wouldn't take any bets that the couple's marriage lasts say five more years. A jealous woman and an obvious cheater don't seem like good matches. "You're not supposed to say that in front of me." That sounds like she knows things she doesn't want to know. Some women blame the other-woman before they finally see the source of their troubles. Go figure!

Obvious cheater? Oh my. I guess I should stop chatting with any women in any bar, pubs, etc. because gosh, they may be married! I wouldn't want them to cheat on their husbands by talking to me.

It's a jealousy and trust issue. Plain and simple. Maybe the guy has been a cheater and that's why the wife doesn't trust him. Or maybe the wife is just the jealous, insecure type (and I know that type very well). But to label the guy as an "obvious cheater" is ridiculous.

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:32 PM
I am really struggling to see what was so wrong about this.
The wife's stupid reaction.

Mela
06-16-2008, 07:35 PM
You gave the right response, rosemerry; after a decade, why care?

I think it's a case of displaced anger, as with my particular wife: Your check cashier has obvious issues - this wife had obvious issues so we become the focus of the anger, even though we've done nothing wrong because they can't take their anger out on the person they're angry at.

James81
06-16-2008, 07:39 PM
The wife's stupid reaction.

Oh, you mean she didn't say "bye" to her?

Only girls would get upset about something like this.

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:43 PM
No, James, the wife ignored her through the entire party yet was at her table. And I do know many guys who wouldn't like (1) being put on the spot by someone asking a stupid question and (2) being ignored by the stupid spouse the whole time.

James81
06-16-2008, 07:45 PM
No, James, the wife ignored her through the entire party yet was at her table. And I do know many guys who wouldn't like (1) being put on the spot by someone asking a stupid question and (2) being ignored by the stupid spouse the whole time.

:roll:

Like I said, being mad because they were ignored by one person at a party or that person didn't say bye to them is something only a girl would get mad about. ;)

(I hope you get my point)

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:47 PM
(I hope you get my point)
I'm trying.... But I never had my third cup of coffee. :D

Siddow
06-16-2008, 07:49 PM
Did you ever answer the question?

I could see becoming a little suspicious of the non-answerer. If you're all sweet and innocent, missy, answer the danged question, don't flit all around it and laugh it off.

I applaud the guy for asking in front of both his wife and your husband, but if you dropped the ball from there, then it's your foul. My opinion, blah, blah...

HeronW
06-16-2008, 07:49 PM
The hubby's an asshat and so's the wife.
Witty reparte time for the next asshat:
Him: didn't I meet you in a bar somewhere?
Reply: Yes, I was the one tossing your butt in the street for jumping on the table and demanding money to keep your clothes on.

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:52 PM
.... Three of us joked about that, including the wife who said, 'You're not supposed to ask that in front of me." (My husband, BTW, didn't even bat an eye, since HE knows by this point the guy's an idiot.)

And for the rest of the night, the wife didn't look at me, didn't acknowledge me....

Okay, you did answer him in some way, and the wife seemed okay about it. THEN gets in a huff. Wow, she's strange. And I get the feeling he has cheated on her before....

James81
06-16-2008, 07:52 PM
I'm trying.... But I never had my third cup of coffee. :D

Real men don't get upset by shit like this.

Well, they do, but it's more like "Oh man, that dude just ignored me all night and didn't say bye! Bummer! Oh is that cheesecake, yum yum!"

And that is that.

I think I just moved away from the initial post of the thread with that, so to bring it back on topic, threadstarter, man up!

stormie
06-16-2008, 07:55 PM
Real men don't get upset by shit like this.

Well, they do, but it's more like "Oh man, that dude just ignored me all night and didn't say bye! Bummer! Oh is that cheesecake, yum yum!"

And that is that.
Okay, you got me to laugh. See, though, there are men who would be upset BUT react as you said. Now, I have to say it: LOL!

ETA: Now back to the regularly scheduled thread.

James81
06-16-2008, 08:00 PM
Of course, real men wouldn't say "yum yum" either, but I digress.

That was a test, and you failed. Sorry. :tongue

Mela
06-16-2008, 08:21 PM
Ah, men.
The wife's reaction made me uncomfortable and started me to thinking, maybe the husband should have kept quiet. Didn't I meet you in a bar? isn't the worst question but it was the wife's reaction that made it seem bad. I was just throwing it out because she didn't talk to me for the rest of the night - didn't look at me when I talked, didn't acknowledge me at all. I did get up and leave the table, but then I came back and soon after they left, saying good bye to everyone but me.

If I were the wife, I would have made friends with me and shrugged it off. Obviously, she couldn't. Obviously, there was more there. I wasn't necessarily upset, I was uncomfortable - I almost thought as though I had done something wrong.

jennifer75
06-16-2008, 08:26 PM
Have I been in this woman's place before? Yes, years ago, so I could identify with how she felt. But then I'd remember that piece of golden wisdom from the Godfather: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." If I was that woman, I would have cozied up to me and made me a friend and risen above the husband's goof.

What do you all think?


Oh totally with ya!

stormie
06-16-2008, 08:27 PM
Obviously, there was more there. I wasn't necessarily upset, I was uncomfortable - I almost thought as though I had done something wrong.
Yup. Lots more. And yes, mostly anyone, woman or man, would feel uncomfortable since it went on for the entire time of the party. Could you have just picked up and moved away from that table?

Mela
06-16-2008, 08:29 PM
And I'll just throw out this next thought I had:

Didn't I meet you in a bar? may be acceptable according to the social circle. A group of 20-30 somethings, married, might toss it off. You get up into the 40s-50s range, with marriage and kids involved, and perhaps it takes on a different connotation.

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 08:31 PM
And I'll just throw out this next thought I had:

Didn't I meet you in a bar? may be acceptable according to the social circle. A group of 20-30 somethings, married, might toss it off. You get up into the 40s-50s range, with marriage and kids involved, and perhaps it takes on a different connotation.

why? 40-50 year olds still talk to other people, right?

stormie
06-16-2008, 08:33 PM
Here I go with my one of several things again:
(1) He has trouble with social skills and that's his way of "getting to know people."
(2) He thinks he IS still only in his twenties.
(3) He was serious.

James81
06-16-2008, 09:01 PM
And I'll just throw out this next thought I had:

Didn't I meet you in a bar? may be acceptable according to the social circle. A group of 20-30 somethings, married, might toss it off. You get up into the 40s-50s range, with marriage and kids involved, and perhaps it takes on a different connotation.

Is "Didn't I meet you at the post office?" acceptable though?

Just curious as to what places I can meet someone and it be ok.

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 09:04 PM
Just curious as to what places I can meet someone and it be ok.

Anywhere you actually have clothes on shouldn't be a problem.

'Didn't I meet you at Joe's orgy last week?' -- that's a problem.

maestrowork
06-16-2008, 09:06 PM
I think all "involved" (including Mela) have issues with bars.

Next time, just say "church" instead of bar, and you'll be fine.

James81
06-16-2008, 09:06 PM
Anywhere you actually have clothes on shouldn't be a problem.

'Didn't I meet you at Joe's orgy last week?' -- that's a problem.

I'm writing this down, this is good stuff.

maestrowork
06-16-2008, 09:07 PM
'Didn't I meet you at Joe's orgy last week?' -- that's a problem.

Be specific please. Is Joe gay, straight, bi, and where was the party? How come I didn't get an invitation?

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 09:09 PM
Be specific please. Is Joe gay, straight, bi, and where was the party? How come I didn't get an invitation?

Straight, at his house, and you didn't present your bottle of baby oil at the door.

stormie
06-16-2008, 09:10 PM
If you were born in '81, James, whatever you say is acceptable. Not. :D

Here are some places to meet someone and it's okay to mention it: "Didn't I meet you under water at the Diver's Convention?" or "Amazing, I walked out of the Mens Room and you walked out of the Ladies Room at the same time!" or "Wow, wasn't that library just fantastic?"

Mela
06-16-2008, 09:41 PM
and I bet you the wife still would have had a problem.

Siddow
06-16-2008, 09:48 PM
Is "Didn't I meet you at the post office?" acceptable though?

Just curious as to what places I can meet someone and it be ok.

Anyplace that's not someplace you weren't supposed to be. If your spouse knew about and was fine with you attending Joe's orgy, then exclaiming, "Hey, didn't I meet you at Joe's orgy?" is no problem, unless the person being asked is beside a spouse who did not know about Joe's orgy and was told his wife was at book club that night.

Jcomp
06-16-2008, 09:58 PM
I didn't know cats named "Joe" were allowed to plan / throw orgies. I presumed you'd have to have a more nefarious sounding name, like "Harper" or "Victor." Basically if your name wouldn't be a good fit for a good Bond villain, I don't think you should be eligible to host an orgy...

benbradley
06-16-2008, 11:04 PM
I agree. I actually think "Did I see you at a bar" kind of funny and innocent.

It's a BAR, not a single's bar.
Well, you never know...

Sheesh. Married women go to bars, sports bar, whatever bar all the time. After work. With their friends. Etc.
Yea, it's the Etc. part that wives worry about.

But in this case the wive (probably correctly) sees the "Haven't I met you before..." as a pickup line. Her problem is she blamed the onbect of his interest for his saying the line, not him. That actually also treats HIM badly as well, as if he were some thing that couldn't control itself, that whenever he sees a woman he finds attractive, he starts chatting her up. She may only think that about her husband, but I've also seen women who think that ALL men are "on the make" (probably because they knew too many men who WERE).

I do think the wife has issues.
No doubt they both do. But it's fun to play Armchair Psychologist and figure out who has what issues...

OBVIOUS CHEATER?!?!?!

Really? Because he thinks he met her at a bar?
I'm thinking he does NOT think that, I'm thinking his "Hey, didn't I meet you somewhere before.." is a pickup line.

I am really struggling to see what was so wrong about this.

did he actually meet you in a bar?
Argh... it took me too long in life to learn about idioms, multiple word meanings, and that people often don't say what they literally mean. I was about age 10 when my mother told me "God looks at your heart." I couldn't figure it out. I thought, gee, God sure had a boring job, looking at people's hearts beating and pumping blood through their bodies...

Where was I?

Oh. This guy knows damn well they hadn't met before. He was trying to "start a conversation" and such...

Did you ever answer the question?

I could see becoming a little suspicious of the non-answerer. If you're all sweet and innocent, missy, answer the danged question, don't flit all around it and laugh it off.

I applaud the guy for asking in front of both his wife and your husband, but if you dropped the ball from there, then it's your foul. My opinion, blah, blah...
I dunno, it seems to me it could be inappropriate for the guy to ask the question, even if they HAD met before, even "innocently." ESPECIALLY if he knew it would bother his wife.

Or he could be just totally oblivious to his wife's feelings. I can see him talking to St. Peter: "I don't understand it, I was a good provider, I just can't understand why my wife would kill me..."

Ah, men.
The wife's reaction made me uncomfortable and started me to thinking, maybe the husband should have kept quiet. Didn't I meet you in a bar? isn't the worst question but it was the wife's reaction that made it seem bad. I was just throwing it out because she didn't talk to me for the rest of the night - didn't look at me when I talked, didn't acknowledge me at all. I did get up and leave the table, but then I came back and soon after they left, saying good bye to everyone but me.

If I were the wife, I would have made friends with me and shrugged it off. Obviously, she couldn't. Obviously, there was more there. I wasn't necessarily upset, I was uncomfortable - I almost thought as though I had done something wrong.
THe wife was certainly TREATING as if you did something wrong. It's as if she was saying "How dare you try to seduce my husband" when the problem was her husband.

Is "Didn't I meet you at the post office?" acceptable though?

Just curious as to what places I can meet someone and it be ok.
Where you can meet someone is beside the point. Where, when and how you can ASK someone if you've met before is the point.

I have little doubt the man knows how much it bothers his wife when he asks another woman "Haven't we met before..." and that's half the reason he asks in front of his wife. The other half is he thinks he might get lucky.

If someday his wife doesn't kill him and his lover-for-the-night, he WILL be lucky.

I think all "involved" (including Mela) have issues with bars.

Next time, just say "church" instead of bar, and you'll be fine.
Many churches have "Singles Ministry"...ahem. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Anyplace that's not someplace you weren't supposed to be. If your spouse knew about and was fine with you attending Joe's orgy, then exclaiming, "Hey, didn't I meet you at Joe's orgy?" is no problem, unless the person being asked is beside a spouse who did not know about Joe's orgy and was told his wife was at book club that night.
Yeah. Context is everything. Well, a lot, anyway.

James81
06-16-2008, 11:12 PM
I mean, I've never used "Hey haven't I met you in a bar?" as a pick up line OR to make girls jealous.

Perversion is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps the OP thought he was picking her up because she WANTED to be picked up and perhaps she was upset by the way his wife reacted because she felt guilty for lusting after a married man.

Just sayin'.

(lol)

Mr Flibble
06-16-2008, 11:25 PM
Where you can meet someone is beside the point. Where, when and how you can ASK someone if you've met before is the point.

Well if you're a normal couple, then you can ask all you want. It's not rude, or inappropriate -- it's a comepletly normal question to ask ... in fact I think it would be rude if you thought you recognised someone and didn't ask. ( personally I'm terrible with faces, and I'm constantly getting asked 'you don't remember me do you? we met at [insert pub here]')

Of course these two clowns seem off on their own little co-dependency of flirting / jealousy. That doesn't mean that asking if you've met before is not a nice question to ask, it just means they take an innocuous question and use it in thier little mind games.

James81
06-16-2008, 11:31 PM
Of course these two clowns seem off on their own little co-dependency of flirting / jealousy. That doesn't mean that asking if you've met before is not a nice question to ask, it just means they take an innocuous question and use it in thier little mind games.

Perhpas the couple is a swinger couple or they have an open relationship?

I got that vibe when I read the wife's response to her husband saying that.

aliajohnson
06-16-2008, 11:38 PM
I'm just going to throw out the possibility that the woman was simply embarrassed. Maybe she was thinking, "that poor woman. I can't believe my husband put her on the spot like that in front of her husband. This is mortifying. I can't even look at her." Lots of folks get tight-lipped and evasive when they're uncomfortable.

Also, if you and your husband knew he was an idiot--were you joking with him, or were you laughing at him? If it's the latter, and she was sharp enough to realize it, that could've been the problem.

JimmyB27
06-16-2008, 11:45 PM
I mean, I've never used "Hey haven't I met you in a bar?" as a pick up line OR to make girls jealous.

Perversion is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps the OP thought he was picking her up because she WANTED to be picked up and perhaps she was upset by the way his wife reacted because she felt guilty for lusting after a married man.

Just sayin'.

(lol)
A girl once asked me if we'd met before. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I realised it was a pick up line. (I was young and innocent). Still seems like an odd line to me though - too ambiguous.

Mela
06-16-2008, 11:58 PM
I didn't even have time to think about lusting after this guy - I knew him all of, maybe, five minutes before be blurted.
And I'll say it until the cows come home - asking someone you've just met, who's seated next to her husband, with your wife next to you, whether you've met in a bar is just a little weird ... maybe I'm just not reading it the way you guys are, I just didn't see it in an innocent friendship sort of way, especially after the wife's reaction.

Pardon, I have to go let in the heifer.

Jcomp
06-17-2008, 12:11 AM
I didn't even have time to think about lusting after this guy - I knew him all of, maybe, five minutes before be blurted.
And I'll say it until the cows come home - asking someone you've just met, who's seated next to her husband, with your wife next to you, whether you've met in a bar is just a little weird ... maybe I'm just not reading it the way you guys are, I just didn't see it in an innocent friendship sort of way, especially after the wife's reaction.

Pardon, I have to go let in the heifer.

Well, without actually being there it's impossible for any of us to know better than you what kind of "vibe" the guy was giving off. I mean, the question itself is, to me, perfectly innocent. But if he has a salacious or mischevious look or air about him, that changes the entire situation. Even his tone of voice can change how the question comes off.

But just seeing the words in print, it seems harmless...

Don Allen
06-17-2008, 12:51 AM
And I'll just throw out this next thought I had:

Didn't I meet you in a bar? may be acceptable according to the social circle. A group of 20-30 somethings, married, might toss it off. You get up into the 40s-50s range, with marriage and kids involved, and perhaps it takes on a different connotation.



I think you nailed it with this statement...

It actually sounds like a control freak put-down... Like "oh hey, aren't you the tramp at the table?"

Its not like you guys were at a race track or something, i think it was out of place, and I think maybe the wifes reac tion to you was embarresment for the noodle she married.

Siddow
06-17-2008, 01:46 AM
I think you nailed it with this statement...

It actually sounds like a control freak put-down... Like "oh hey, aren't you the tramp at the table?"

Its not like you guys were at a race track or something, i think it was out of place, and I think maybe the wifes reac tion to you was embarresment for the noodle she married.

I was just thinking the same thing. Maybe the guy's an asshat. There's a guy my husband works with who says the most inappropriate things in social settings, just to get a rise out of people. He once told me at a dinner that another dinner partner's 15-year-old daughter was stacked, and asked a Columbian girlfriend of another dp if she had any good drugs. I was floored. So later, someone asked him where his wife was, and I said, "She's probably too embarrassed to be seen with him in public, what with the way he acts."

maestrowork
06-17-2008, 04:02 AM
I didn't know "haven't I met you before" is a pick up line. Sheesh, no wonder women slapped me right and left when I said that. ;) Seriously, though, I never say that even if someone looks familiar to me -- I would just secretly try to figure out where I've seen them before. I still it could be many things: the man was clueless about social etiquette; the man was trying to break the ice, and he thought that was funny; the man wanted to jab his wife; the man really wanted to know if he had met her before. The thing is, we don't know, but it does seem like they have issues and the wife is misdirecting her emotions toward the wrong person.

Mr Flibble
06-17-2008, 04:07 AM
Tbh if someone said to me 'have I seen you in a bar' I'd probably think, yeah, they've seen me somewhere and can't quite think there. I say to people, 'I'm sure I should remember you but....' all the time, cos I'm crap with faces. Am I a pull merchant? Er...no. But if I see someone I think I should recognise I try and think who they are, and if not, I ask 'em. No harm no foul, right?

It's a legit question.As Jcomp said though, it depends on how it's said -- difficult to tell from a forum.

StoryG27
06-17-2008, 04:11 AM
I didn't know "haven't I met you before" is a pick up line.
It's not, I don't think.

Women and men alike constantly ask if they've met me before, or I get a lot of, "You look familiar."

I think I have a familiar and/or common face.

Either that, men and women are hitting on me constantly. *snert*

:D

I seriously think this guy just didn't think about it. Guys hang out at bars to drink with their buddies or just relax, not all guys are there hoping to find a hottie and get laid. Maybe that's just the wife's misconceptions and insecurities at work. She was rude and immature.