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kuatolives
06-13-2008, 01:59 AM
Dear Author,



Thank you very much for giving us the opportunity to read your submission. We appreciate your considering us for representation of your project.



Unfortunately, after careful review, we have decided that we might not be the right agents for your work. However, we hope that you are not disheartened. This industry is incredibly subjective, and there are many agencies out there with many different tastes. We strongly encourage you to keep submitting elsewhere, as you might already have a bestseller in your hands.



We apologize for the e-mail reply, but the volume of submissions we receive has finally made it impossible for us to hand-write responses as we have for so many years. We hope you will understand and forgive us this necessary efficiency. In addition, we do not feel it is proper for us to provide editorial feedback on projects we have decided not to represent.



We wish you the very best of luck and success with your work, and urge you to keep on writing!



---------------


Thank you for your submission to Levine Greenberg.
Due to the volume of submissions we receive, we may
not be able to respond to every query. We will contact
you directly if we are interested in reviewing your work.
We kindly request that you do not call to follow up on your
submission. Please understand that this only takes away from
our ability to review your queries in a timely manner.

-----------------

Thanks for writing, but this isn't for me.


-----------------


Dear Author:



Thank you so much for sending the Nelson Literary Agency your query.



We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. Rest assured that we do read every query letter carefully and, unfortunately, this project is not right for us.



Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one "yes" to find the right match.



Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.



------------------

Thank you for your recent letter. I regret to say that I don't feel that I'm the most appropriate agent for your work.

However, opinions vary considerably in this business, and I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation.



--------------

Dear Jackass

Thank you for your interest in our agency. Sadly, however, Nicole Aragi has a full client list and is not taking on new work at the moment.

We wish you the best of luck in securing another agent.



------------------

Dear Jackass

thanks so much for considering us. Although this sounds quite interesting, it is not what we are looking for at this very time.

Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity and good luck in your quest for publication.




-----------------

Dear Mr. Jackass

Thanks so much for sending your query, and for offering me the chance to consider your material. Unfortunately, your project does not seem right for me. Since it's crucial that you find an agent who will represent you to the best of his or her ability, I'm going to have to step aside from asking to represent your manuscript.

You should know that my decision reflects my present work-load, and the type and amount of material which I'm presently representing. It does not reflect on your material, and I certainly encourage you to continue to seek representation, especially since this is such a subjective business -- what works for one agent or publisher may not work as well for another (I'm afraid, though, that I cannot recommend someone for it).


----------------

Thanks for your query.

As to your material I'm afraid I must pass -- I'm just not enthusiastic enough about the premise of your story to feel that I'd be the right agent for the project. Our agency represents a very full list of fiction writers and we must be highly selective in adding to it. I realize it is difficult to judge your potential from a query; nevertheless please know that I give serious attention to every letter, outline, and writing sample I receive.

Sorry I couldn't give you a more positive reply. Thanks for thinking of me, though, and best of luck in your search for representation elsewhere.

---------------


Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think the project is right for us.



We receive so many queries that it is not possible to reply on an individual basis. We appreciate your writing and wish you success in your publishing endeavors.


---------------

Dear Jackass

Thank you for sending your query. Due to the number of queries we receive each day, we are unable to reply to each one individually. Do rest assured, however, that it has been forwarded to the correct agent and has been read and reviewed carefully. Unfortunately, we will not be able to offer representation for your book, but we do wish you the best in your search for a suitable agent.



---------------

Thank you for sharing your work with us. Unfortunately, it is not a good match for Firebrand and we will not be able to offer you representation.

I hope you excuse this form letter, but it is really only representative of our lack of time and not a lack of respect for your work. Please understand that there are many reasons why we must turn down potential clients. We look for material that immediately grabs our attentions and emotions, and that we believe will do well in the current publishing and bookselling market. But sometimes we even pass on well written, marketable projects simply because it is out of our realm of expertise and would be better represented by another agent with different taste or experience.

Thank you again for sharing your submission with us and we wish you the best of luck in your search for the right agent.


----------------

Thanks for contacting me about your work. I read through the pages below and unfortunately, I don't think it's quite a fit for me as an agent. However, I would encourage you to contact other agents about your work as fiction is subjective by its nature and often it's just a matter of talking to enough people until you find someone who clicks with what you're doing.



And of course, I wish you all the best of success with the book going forward.


---------------

Unfortunately, this doesn’t sound like something for me. Best of luck to you.


--------------

Thanks for your interest in our agency. Unfortunately you've caught me at a time when the demands of my current clients leave me with very little time to devote to developing new talent and unfortunately in this case I have to pass on the opportunity to pursue this. I'm being extremely, and likely unreasonably, picky so please seek many opinions since my decision may have little to do with the salability of your work.

------------

Thanks so much for sending your query, and for offering me the chance to consider your material. Unfortunately, your project does not seem right for me. Since it's crucial that you find an agent who will represent you to the best of his or her ability, I'm going to have to step aside from asking to represent your manuscript.

You should know that my decision reflects my present work-load, and the type and amount of material which I'm presently representing. It does not reflect on your material, and I certainly encourage you to continue to seek representation, especially since this is such a subjective business -- what works for one agent or publisher may not work as well for another (I'm afraid, though, that I cannot recommend someone for it).


-------------


Thank you for your recent query to the Denise Shannon Literary Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel your project is right for us, but we wish you the best of luck elsewhere.

-------------

JenWriter
06-13-2008, 02:04 AM
These sure do sound familiar.

Tburger
06-13-2008, 02:06 AM
My God - I've seen those before!!!

Barber
06-13-2008, 02:15 AM
I have about forty of these in my inbox, and I'm grateful for every one. I compare them to the one-hundred-and-something messages in my outbox, and I wonder what happened to the other sixty, LOL.

Honestly, it's annoying and all that, but we need agents who are smart enough to see how good our work is. Right? Right?

soleary
06-13-2008, 02:18 AM
Laughing so hard I nearly wet myself! Thanks for the chain 'o pain. We've all been there, but we'll make it only if we can laugh about it. Brilliant people and brilliant ideas have been turned down millions of times before success hits. Hell, Grandma Moses was 78 before she sold her first painting. Keep your chin up, and the keys on the keyboard HUMMING!

CACTUSWENDY
06-13-2008, 04:04 AM
:popcorn:...Did a couple of them really say Jackass?

(Inquiring minds want to know.) :popcorn:

Dragonfly45
06-13-2008, 04:28 AM
WHAT??? Those weren't written to me personally?!?!?!? Heeheeheehee :-)

Karen Duvall
06-13-2008, 06:53 AM
Holy Toledo! How'd you get access to my inbox? :rant:

StoryG27
06-13-2008, 07:12 AM
Hey, I have some of the same ones, word for word, right here in my file. *thumps through stack*

Look! They even called me Jackass!

RLB
06-13-2008, 07:14 AM
Yeah, I've got a lot of those too. Though when you string them all together like that, it kinda takes the sting away and lets you revel in the absurd. Or maybe that's just me!

Blondchen
06-13-2008, 07:44 AM
Pretty fly for a white guy.

Sorry, couldn't resist. Three of you will get that reference and the rest will think I'm insane. Rightly so.

Yeah, I've got 3 or 4 of those exact ones. Do agents get a "Welcome to Lit Agenting" handbook with variations on the query rejection theme?

I guess it makes the personalized ones sweeter.

StoryG27
06-13-2008, 08:16 AM
Pretty fly for a white guy.

Sorry, couldn't resist. Three of you will get that reference and the rest will think I'm insane. Rightly so.
He went for a tattoo, yeah he's gettin' it done.
He asked for a 13, but they drew a 31!


I'm one of the three, but shhhh, don't tell anyone. :D

JenWriter
06-13-2008, 05:11 PM
*Raises hand

Number two right here.

He may not have a clue, and he may not have style
But everything he lacks, well he makes up in denial

Blondchen
06-13-2008, 07:39 PM
It's like I'm reliving freshman year of college here.

Ooops! I think I just dated myself!

*runs and hides*

JenWriter
06-13-2008, 08:56 PM
Now I know you're older than me. :) This came out when I was in high school

Phaeal
06-13-2008, 10:59 PM
Hey, guys, maybe it's just me, but am I to believe that writing is subjective?

Blondchen
06-13-2008, 11:11 PM
Now I know you're older than me. :) This came out when I was in high school

Yeah, I'm hella old. ;)

JenWriter
06-13-2008, 11:38 PM
Oh, now you're being silly. You've got to still be in your 20s. And I refuse to believe anyone in their 20s is old.

Blondchen
06-13-2008, 11:49 PM
Nerp. Check my profile. Like I said, I'm hella old.

kuatolives
06-13-2008, 11:50 PM
Yay another one

Dear Mr. Jackass,



Thank you for your query. A bigger Jackass asked me to reply after he evaluated your submission.



We’re afraid your project does not seem right for our list, but thank you for thinking of Jackass, and best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Stupid Jackass

Assistant to Bigger Stupid Jackass

JenWriter
06-13-2008, 11:53 PM
Oh, that's still not old.

kuatolives
06-14-2008, 09:14 PM
Thank you so much for giving BookEnds a chance to consider your work. While I found your query intriguing I’m afraid I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic to ask for more at this time.

As I’m sure you know, publishing is a subjective business and it’s very likely you’ll find another agent who feels differently.

I wish you the best of luck and the greatest success.

Nakhlasmoke
06-14-2008, 09:25 PM
Whee! I have a folder full of these. :D

They're great fun.

Eventually you just kinda stop caring.

SPMiller
06-14-2008, 11:00 PM
Nerp. Check my profile. Like I said, I'm hella old.Bull. Shit.

Cranky
06-14-2008, 11:01 PM
Nerp. Check my profile. Like I said, I'm hella old.

You and me both. :D

SPMiller
06-14-2008, 11:18 PM
You and me both. :DBullshit!

No more fishing for compliments. That goes for both of you.

Cranky
06-14-2008, 11:33 PM
Bullshit!

No more fishing for compliments. That goes for both of you.

:roll:

I always thought thirtysomething was old, though. Until I got on the high side of twenty and then suddenly, 30 looked positively juvenile! :D

Blondchen
06-15-2008, 01:06 AM
Bullshit!

No more fishing for compliments. That goes for both of you.

I swear to God I have an arthritic knee! I can practically predict the weather with it!

Just call me Grammy.

Saundra Julian
06-15-2008, 05:58 PM
STAY OUT OF MY REJECTION FILE!

Vomaxx
06-15-2008, 07:15 PM
Form Letter (6/30/07):

Dear Author,

Thank you for showing us your manuscript. As you can imagine, we receive a great many submissions, but only a small percentage of them are worthy of significant editorial attention. Yours is one of this select group.

Alas, since even a small percentage of the total manuscripts submitted is a very large number, constraints on our time and resources make it impossible for us to respond even to such high-quality submissions as yours with the close and individualized attention they deserve. So please do not take the scribbled comments below amiss; they are an indication of our highest esteem. On the other hand, please do not take these comments as a request for revisions; they are not. While we think your story has some merit, we really don't think it would work for us.

We of course wish you the best of luck submitting it to other markets.

Best Wishes,

The Editors [of Baen Books]

[The 11 lines of Comments, not "scribbled" but neatly printed, start out "[Novel] was well written, with likeable characters" and conclude "This one was a close call--kept going until p. 208" [out of 350 pp.].
--------------------
I suppose some people might say I should be encouraged by this response, in eight weeks, on a manuscript submitted to Baen's slush pile. I was not.
So close but yet so far.... (And the wording: apparently their "highest esteem" is expressed by rejecting things. Ha.)

Karen Duvall
06-15-2008, 07:34 PM
Dang it, Vomaxx. You did get really close. And a personal note attached to a form is awesome! It could be the muddy middle syndrome considering where they stopped reading. That's often where most books bog down, where the pacing begins to crawl instead of run. It happened to me, too, but an agent offered representation anyway and I'm fixing the problem now. So take heart! It's fixable. It's not something that will get you shown to door every time. Good luck!

mikeland
06-16-2008, 04:55 PM
:roll:

I always thought thirtysomething was old, though. Until I got on the high side of twenty and then suddenly, 30 looked positively juvenile! :D

That's how I'm starting to feel about 40. Yikes.

That Offspring song came out in grad school for me. Blondchen, you're still a baby. A baby with arthritis, but a young 'un nonetheless.

And this thread sucks. Here I thought when they called me Jackass that was a personalized response. Now I realize that I'm even getting form insults.