Sonya said:
LOL-love that! I agree with you. When I first started writing and found out that people would actually pay me, I was so shocked and ecstatic. I remember crying when I first heard the news.
I joined a writer's group and though the information I gleaned there was very helpful, one woman in particular took her valuable time to answer my questions and gently guided me away from some mistakes I was making. I didn't even know it was called mentoring but that's exactly what she did for me. If she would have been overly critical, she would have destroyed what teeny amount of writing confidence I did have.
That was a great post, Nateskate.
Sonya
Thanks for your comments. As far as mentors vs critics, a mentor is really looking out for you, and wants you to succeed. If I was really in over my head, I'd want them to tell me so that I wasn't wasting my time. I don't want to be believe a lie, if my being a writer will never happen, because I could spend my time doing something else of value.
However, a mentor wouldn't be out to crush me. In a sense, through wisdom, they could guide me toward my strengths, because mentors always consider you are a person.
A critic feels like they have a license to tell you everything that strikes them as wrong, even if its things that are taste specific. Heck, I hate 80 percent of the fantasies I pick up, but I love fantasy. Well, someone is buying those eighty percents. In fact, I'm not a big fan of some famous fantasy writers.
What if someone here is the next great fantasy writer. As a critic, if I don't like it, I can blast the snot out of it. "Oh, it's too elaborate. No one will get it. Your prose is too long winded. Could you just get to the point!"
Well, if they don't have a lot of confidence, they might think, "Hey, he knows what he's talking about," when in fact, I'm giving a needlessly critical evaluation based on my own tastes.
I think if people want to evaluate other people's works, it's best to look past the obvious clutter, to the core of what they are saying. In a sense, you want to find out what they are saying, and help them say it better. If you aren't even looking for the point, but saying, "This sentence stinks. That sentence you should cut. Wow, that whole paragraph didn't do it for me."
Well, yes. That person may not quite know how to voice their thoughts in good prose, but if you couldn't even comment positively on their thoughts, and intentions first, then in a sense, that kind of criticism wounds, and leaves people discouraged.
I volunteered as a coach in basketball. One of my gifts was breaking down what people were doing wrong (Mechanically) and showing them how to do it right. That included so many simple things, like standing the right way. We took a group of middle school kids who didn't win a game, and put them in a summer league. They only lost one game, to a team of all stars. They beat the best team in the league 56 to 11, and we had to tell our players to let up, to allow the other team to reach double figures.
You have to have the insight to see what is possible, and not simply what they are doing wrong. Then you have to find a way to put it into words they understand. But if you say, "You really stink", its over. They stop trying. But if I say, "You are far better than you think. If you are willing to work at this, in a year, you will be good enough to start," they will throw themselves into what you are saying.
I'll start here. If someone is writing, and comes to these boards, then the issue isn't whether they are great or whether they stink. The issue is "What do you have to say?" If you feel you have something important to say, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm more convinced than ever, that some writers are like natural athletes. They simply jump and run fast. Prose and grammar come naturally. Well, I've coached kids who were not natural athletes, but had determination and a smart mind. They picked things up. And there was little satisfaction greater than taking a bunch of people who thought they were losers, and make them winners. And they look in the eyes of those who thought they stunk, defeating them, and delighting to prove them wrong. That really has to be the mindest of a mentor.
Yikes, I'm not volunteering to mentor anyone in writing, in that I probably could use a mentor. But I do see people who are talented around here, who simply have to believe in themselves, and figure out a few tricks, and they'll be writing with the best of them.