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Thump
06-12-2008, 12:04 AM
They start the same but maybe they shouldn't mix. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll rant :D

I was rereading Feist and ran across a passage where Miranda, who has been a sorceress for a loooong time and looks young but is post-menopausal, has some magic go through her and feels odd. Later, she suddenly realizes she experienced menstrual cramps as the magic restored her fertility. I laughed at that. Honestly, if you're having menstrual cramps, YOU KNOW. Seriously gentlemen, there's nothing confusing about one's uterus being squeezed like an unripe orange for juice. Even when you haven't had them in a while. They are completely unlike intestinal cramps, even when mild, there's no way of confusing it.

Also, I'm told in "Mirror Mirror" that Gregory Maguire describes the menstrual blood "gushing" and "bursting" and the room covered in it. Whoever is going through that, needs to call 911. Menstrual blood doesn't "burst" or "gush" or goddess forbid "explode". Old Faithful is what you might call a woman if you've been married to her for 70 years (and she's deaf so she won't wack you over the head).

I have yet to read a male author who gives an accurate account of menstruation (allowing for the difference between individual women).

Now, if I could only find books by male authors with a woman with a yeast infection or something...

Shadow_Ferret
06-12-2008, 12:09 AM
Being a man, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Thump
06-12-2008, 12:15 AM
Finally :D An honest one :D LOL

I'm thinking maybe us ladies should create an encyclopedia about how female anatomy does NOT work :D But then, maybe it would give too many sisterhood secrets away. We don't want to tip our hands too much but here's some info anyway.

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 12:22 AM
Thump, if we told about U KNOW WHAT we would have to kill them and that would be tragic. It's better to let some things remain a mystery.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 12:23 AM
We could tell the ones we don't like.

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 12:24 AM
I like the way you think, SG!

TerzaRima
06-12-2008, 12:28 AM
For some painfully honest period poesy, you need to hunt down some Lucille Clifton and Anne Sexton. Both of these women were somewhat preoccupied with, um, matters endometrial.

This is all taking me back to my Women's Studies electives. Now I feel like listening to Natalie Merchant and earnestly planning the next Take Back the Night rally in somebody's dorm room.

Thump
06-12-2008, 12:29 AM
I'll prepare a list >: D

Oh, yeah, I've read some of Anne Sexton back in B.A. times. The Women's Lit class was really fascinating but the only guy who was there left before the second class. Women are expected to study a bunch of old guys but the men don't need to read about the women's experience. Ok, that's a rant for another time :P Otherwise, my rabit feminisit alter-ego will wake up :D

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 12:37 AM
I'll prepare a list >: D

Oh, yeah, I've read some of Anne Sexton back in B.A. times. The Women's Lit class was really fascinating but the only guy who was there left before the second class. Women are expected to study a bunch of old guys but the men don't need to read about the women's experience. Ok, that's a rant for another time :P Otherwise, my rabit feminisit alter-ego will wake up :D

Did you say rabit? :D

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/6/10/modbunnehduz128576046496522543.jpg

Thump
06-12-2008, 12:41 AM
:D Rabbit! Rabid sorry X-D but that's the best LOLbunny ever!

There's a lol for every occasion.

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 12:44 AM
Man, the worst part about periods that most male writer dudes don't know is: blood isn't the only thing that comes out..........

slcboston
06-12-2008, 12:52 AM
I'm going to offer one, small ray of hope for my gender. (Maybe.)

The creator of the newspaper comic strip "Luanne" is a guy. As "Luanne" *used* to age ... lately she and her gang seem to have entered a slowing time warp... she started off pre-pubescent. As such, when the time came, it was something her creator had to deal with.

He has a section on his website where he talks about this (and about the censorship he had to try and pre-empt) and how he handled the whole subject. When I read it, I thought it was a very thoughtful, understanding approach to the whole thing.

But I'm a guy. :)

Mr Flibble
06-12-2008, 12:54 AM
Man, the worst part about periods that most male writer dudes don't know is: blood isn't the only thing that comes out..........

It isn't? What else comes out? Goats?

jennifer75
06-12-2008, 12:55 AM
Man, the worst part about periods that most male writer dudes don't know is: blood isn't the only thing that comes out..........

Eeeeeeeeeow.

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 12:55 AM
It isn't? What else comes out? Goats?Oh, I don't know... maybe bits of the goddamn uterine lining?

Excuse me while I go lock myself in the bathroom and cry.

jennifer75
06-12-2008, 12:56 AM
Oh, I don't know... maybe bits of the goddamn uterine lining?

Excuse me while I go lock myself in the bathroom and cry.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOW.

JoNightshade
06-12-2008, 12:57 AM
It isn't? What else comes out? Goats?

You owe me a new keyboard.

jennifer75
06-12-2008, 12:58 AM
In our defense, you don't actually see the other stuff come out, it all just looks like lumpy goopy blood. Your welcome.

Mr Flibble
06-12-2008, 12:59 AM
Oh, I don't know... maybe bits of the goddamn uterine lining?

I suppose that's possible. It's not like I check through it so see if there's a stray diamond or anything.

I'd notice a goat for sure though.

JoNightshade
06-12-2008, 01:00 AM
In our defense, you don't actually see the other stuff come out, it all just looks like lumpy goopy blood. Your welcome.

Oh geez, flashback to jr. hi when I started my period. I had NO FRICKIN CLUE WTF was wrong with me, cuz I was pretty damn sure I was supposed to be leaking blood, not red jello.

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 01:01 AM
I suppose that's possible. It's not like I check through it so see if there's a stray diamond or anything.

I'd notice a goat for sure though.If a goat does someday come out, I'll have to call it off between us.

Mr Flibble
06-12-2008, 01:03 AM
If a goat does someday come out, I'll have to call it off between us.

Couldn't you consider it a dowry?

I'm not expecting goats tbh. If there was going to be goats, I'm sure they'd have shown up by now.

NeuroFizz
06-12-2008, 01:10 AM
I'm thinking maybe us ladies should create an encyclopedia about how female anatomy does NOT work But then, maybe it would give too many sisterhood secrets away. We don't want to tip our hands too much but here's some info anyway.
This is interesting because I know how the female reproductive system cycles, including the interaction of the sex steroids and the pituitary gonadotropins, the interaction of these two sets of hormones (both positive and negative feedback, including one case of concentration-dependent switch), and all of the implications for ovulation, the proliferation of the uterine lining (with the formation of blood sinuses), and the eventual shedding of that lining. I can even go over the whole thing and explain in excruciatingly hormonal detail what happens with a pregnancy, how another uterine hormone helps maintain the uterine lining (and how it is the one used to test for pregnancy), and how birth control pills work into the mix. However, I can not possibly know how the shedding of the uterine lining feels, just as a woman would have a tough time explaining all the internal sensory manifestations of the male orgasm. The authors mentioned screwed up in one way--they didn't do their research. How to do that research? Ask several females and then have them crit the resulting passage. For any woman writing a male orgasm, I'd suggest the same thing.

As a note, I am blown away each year when I teach the female cycle to college students--by how many of both males AND females don't know what is really happening and why.

Your biological functions are not magical or confounding, but they should come with an instruction manual--written for both males and females. And, if I ever want to write about some female specific sensory experience, I hope y'all will be willing to provide solid information and a crit of the result.

As a addendum, a special rep point to any female who can explain why when a man is kicked in the scrotum he feels a dull (and intense) achey pain in the lower back, up around the kidney region (in addition to the acute pain in the area of contact).

slcboston
06-12-2008, 01:17 AM
In our defense, you don't actually see the other stuff come out, it all just looks like lumpy goopy blood. Your welcome.


I suppose that's possible. It's not like I check through it so see if there's a stray diamond or anything.

I'd notice a goat for sure though.


Oh geez, flashback to jr. hi when I started my period. I had NO FRICKIN CLUE WTF was wrong with me, cuz I was pretty damn sure I was supposed to be leaking blood, not red jello.

Um.. stop. Please. Low threshold for icky stuff here. Esp after eating. *urp*

KTC
06-12-2008, 01:23 AM
I research to make sure my details are accurate. Whatever the topic. You're lumping us together again. Sigh.

Thump
06-12-2008, 01:23 AM
Erm, because the nerves all go to the same place in the spinal column?

I know that when I have cramps, it feels like you described a kick in the scrotum, dull achy pain in the back and sharpish, burning feeling in my gut that rises, dulls and rises again. It feels like a metal poker in my privates that's been heated white.

er, something about nerves and pain radiation or something. Right? Do I get an A? Please?


Oh, and with the things that come out that are not blood, try cervical mucus. I use a menstrual cup so I get to see what comes out in all its glory. It's mostly clear more or less thick mucus (depending on how stressed you've been and nurtrition), than actual blood.

Mr Flibble
06-12-2008, 01:24 AM
As a addendum, a special rep point to any female who can explain why when a man is kicked in the scrotum he feels a dull (and intense) achey pain in the lower back, up around the kidney region (in addition to the acute pain in the area of contact).

The T12 spinal nerve?

ETA: Dang, beaten to it!

Maryn
06-12-2008, 01:25 AM
Your biological functions are not magical...Speak for yourself, buddy.

Maryn, magical yet whimsical

Dommo
06-12-2008, 01:29 AM
Meh, I'll judge that author, when I see a female one who can accurately portray what getting kicked in the nuts is like.

Seriously, guys have actually died from taking a shot Mr Rough and Tumble. ;)

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 01:31 AM
Well, as a male writer, I get to absorb all the details in this thread in case I ever need to write about menstruation. Fortunately, menstruation is rarely a plot-critical event and can usually be elided.

And yeah, here's a tip for the ladies: the ball-kick pain is mostly internal, from personal experience. I'd describe it as a very sharp pain, if kicked hard enough. Not just in the kidneys, but all through the lower abdomen. And basically we just want to die to make it stop. NeuroFizz, being our bio geek, will probably explain shortly--but I suspect it has something to do with the "inaccuracy" of the nerves in that region.

I've never taken a bio course, damnit!

Mr Flibble
06-12-2008, 01:33 AM
accurately portray what getting kicked in the nuts is like.

I'll give it a go: Like someone is using a lump hammer and a blunt chisel to make a channel bewteen you bollocks and your kidneys, then they reach in and try and pull your insides out.

NeuroFizz
06-12-2008, 01:34 AM
Two reps coming--the nerves originate in that region, and the testes descend to the scrotum during development.

And for the women who don't know, the extra stuff is uterine lining tissue. It proliferates in response to the sex steroid hormones in the latter half of the cycle in preparation for acceptance of a fertilized ovum, and includes formation of blood sinuses, which are the future maternal contribution to the placenta. When the uterine lining is shed, that extra growth of tissue is sloughed off, and the blood sinuses are ruptured (and released) resulting the the blood loss. The tissue can come out in small, barely noticeable pieces, or come as significant clots that can actually be a bit painful aside from the cramps (so I have been told). The cramps are there to help expel the tissue.

Next lesson--that wonderful membranous urethra in males...

Note added in edit: My adult daughter knew all this before she began cycling, and my two young ones will know as well (including Little Fizzy).

KTC
06-12-2008, 01:35 AM
Speak for yourself, buddy.

Maryn, magical yet whimsical

Indeed. Once I saw the backend of my son's underwear billow and tent, I knew for certain that bodily functions are magical. Who knew there actually is wind?

TerzaRima
06-12-2008, 01:38 AM
Seriously, guys have actually died from taking a shot Mr Rough and Tumble.

Right.

IceCreamEmpress
06-12-2008, 01:38 AM
Mirror, Mirror is set in a world where magic is real. I'm not going to fault the author for having biological processes be affected by magic any more than for having geological processes affected by magic.

As for the rest, yes. People who haven't experienced something first-hand would do well to research how it actually works. This is true for all genders.

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 01:45 AM
While Neuro's here: is it indeed possible to go into shock as a result of nontrivial testicle damage?

NeuroFizz
06-12-2008, 01:46 AM
The male situation is much more straighforward since all the plumbing is on the outside (unless you want to know about the various glands, the place where striated muscle is involved, and where the components of the exudate originate). But from an external POV, all you have to do is add a little friction and you can see the first manifestation. A little more friction and you can see the finale (protective goggles are recommended). And there are no cyclical restrictions.

jennifer75
06-12-2008, 01:48 AM
Two reps coming--the nerves originate in that region, and the testes descend to the scrotum during development.

And for the women who don't know, the extra stuff is uterine lining tissue. It proliferates in response to the sex steroid hormones in the latter half of the cycle in preparation for acceptance of a fertilized ovum, and includes formation of blood sinuses, which are the future maternal contribution to the placenta. When the uterine lining is shed, that extra growth of tissue is sloughed off, and the blood sinuses are ruptured (and released) resulting the the blood loss. The tissue can come out in small, barely noticeable pieces, or come as significant clots that can actually be a bit painful aside from the cramps (so I have been told). The cramps are there to help expel the tissue.

Next lesson--that wonderful membranous urethra in males...

Note added in edit: My adult daughter knew all this before she began cycling, and my two young ones will know as well (including Little Fizzy).


Usually a stronger cramp will accompany the usual ones, and then you know a clotlike wod of lining and ick is passing. It's all great fun.

sassandgroove
06-12-2008, 01:49 AM
They start the same but maybe they shouldn't mix. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll rant :D

I was rereading Feist and ran across a passage where Miranda, who has been a sorceress for a loooong time and looks young but is post-menopausal, has some magic go through her and feels odd. Later, she suddenly realizes she experienced menstrual cramps as the magic restored her fertility. I laughed at that. Honestly, if you're having menstrual cramps, YOU KNOW. Seriously gentlemen, there's nothing confusing about one's uterus being squeezed like an unripe orange for juice. Even when you haven't had them in a while. They are completely unlike intestinal cramps, even when mild, there's no way of confusing it.

Also, I'm told in "Mirror Mirror" that Gregory Maguire describes the menstrual blood "gushing" and "bursting" and the room covered in it. Whoever is going through that, needs to call 911. Menstrual blood doesn't "burst" or "gush" or goddess forbid "explode". Old Faithful is what you might call a woman if you've been married to her for 70 years (and she's deaf so she won't wack you over the head).

I have yet to read a male author who gives an accurate account of menstruation (allowing for the difference between individual women).

Now, if I could only find books by male authors with a woman with a yeast infection or something...

I might have to stop and realize I am all weepy because it is sugar pill week, but I don't have to stop and wonder what that excruciating pain is.

James81
06-12-2008, 01:53 AM
Oh man, now I'm hungry.

I think I'll go have some lasagna.

NeuroFizz
06-12-2008, 01:53 AM
While Neuro's here: is it indeed possible to go into shock as a result of nontrivial testicle damage?
There are several kinds of shock, including hypovolemic shock from excess blood loss, and allergen-mediated shock, and they all can spiral out of control via positive feedback. However, I'd have to consult my notes and books to get after the specifics of your question (I'm not a MD, but a PhD - in neurophysiology), and I'm at a marine lab across the country from home. If you remind me in about three weeks I can give a better response. In the meantime, maybe there is an MD out there (or someone with the knowledge or notes/books) who can forward an answer. It would help to know what "nontrivial" refers to. Sorry.

sassandgroove
06-12-2008, 01:55 AM
on the upside cramps aren't as bad when I exercise regularly. however I am more fatigued during that week and am tempted not to exercise. BAH.

rhymegirl
06-12-2008, 02:02 AM
Oh man, now I'm hungry.

I think I'll go have some lasagna.

:roll: That was funny.

Thump
06-12-2008, 02:09 AM
I never know when they are going to be really bad. It's gotten better since I started taking the pill but one thing that really bothers me is in Fantasy when female chars go on loooooong journeys, often on horseback. I mean, at some point, they're bound to menstruate, and on longer ones, several times. I can't imagine moving, let alone riding a horse while I'm cramping! >.< One of the worst times in my life was when I went downtown with BFF and started cramping and had no place to lie down. It was torture!

As to women writing kicks in the nuts, I agree. Hence,I avoid describing physical sensations for which I have no frame of referene. Like, sex from a male PoV. Can't do it. I'm sure some of the preliminaries feel the same but when it gets down to it, I move on. :)

JoNightshade
06-12-2008, 02:09 AM
Note added in edit: My adult daughter knew all this before she began cycling, and my two young ones will know as well (including Little Fizzy).

Good on you. I was completely cluess about my own body twice in my life: when I started my period, and on my wedding night.

I can tell you right now that my children, regardless of sex, will receive the appropriate education ahead of time.

HeronW
06-12-2008, 02:10 AM
While Neuro's here: is it indeed possible to go into shock as a result of nontrivial testicle damage?

Ahem, yes, per a women's defense course I took and memorized: Using two small balls in a baggie to simulate: a grab and rapid twist will bring about enough blinding excruciating pain to make the unfortunate fellow pass out in 5-8 seconds--depending on his constitution.

Per my big brother, bless his lack of foliage knowledge: getting the boys covered in poison ivy (and more because there's no toilet paper in the woods and big shiny green leaves in a 3 to a stem at 90 degrees from each other work almost as well) can make you WISH you passed out. With medical help and a month off work living in a bathrobe, the swelling and pain slowly reduced and he doesn't walk like John Wayne riding a Shetland pony.

That was from oh, 10-12 years ago, and bless his woodsman-acumen--BigBro did it again, though not as severe. He remembered what the blisters, itching, redness etc reminded him of and he got medical help--again.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 02:23 AM
I was completely cluess about my own body twice in my life: when I started my period, and on my wedding night.

Ditto.
Well, it wasn't my wedding night, but it was probably the same event as to which you are referring (and was with Hubby).

I thought I was "broken" or there was something wrong with me both times. And I grew up in a family who talked about sex at the dinner table, but they didn't talk about what would happen. I was devastated my first time. I want my daughter to be prepared, my son too. They need to know how this stuff actually works.

veinglory
06-12-2008, 02:48 AM
There is lumping going on here, I must ad, in more ways than one. I have never written a character having menstrual cramps largely because despite being a normal, cycling female I have never experienced any.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 02:51 AM
Sweet.

Thump
06-12-2008, 04:33 AM
Man... some people get all the luck :D And we all know there are exceptions to everything :) I'm sure there is at least one man out there who just gets it. I've yet to find him but I'm sure he'd make an excellent hubby :)

veinglory
06-12-2008, 04:37 AM
Although I still do get PMS, unfortunately.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 04:38 AM
I've yet to find him but I'm sure he'd make an excellent hubby :)
*yes, he is*

Jersey Chick
06-12-2008, 04:39 AM
Meh, I'll judge that author, when I see a female one who can accurately portray what getting kicked in the nuts is like.

Seriously, guys have actually died from taking a shot Mr Rough and Tumble. ;)

I wrote about this happening to my hero in one of my books - and gave the scene to my husband to read. He said it was dead on accurate, only I had the hero getting up just a little too quickly.

I told him one time that if he really wanted to know why I hate cramps so much, I'd gladly punch him in the boys as hard as possible for the next 12-24 hours.

He never razzed me about being a weenie over them again. :D

Esopha
06-12-2008, 04:46 AM
Mirror, Mirror is set in a world where magic is real. I'm not going to fault the author for having biological processes be affected by magic any more than for having geological processes affected by magic.

As for the rest, yes. People who haven't experienced something first-hand would do well to research how it actually works. This is true for all genders.

I was the one who read Mirror, Mirror. I knew it was a fantasy novel. Honestly I still found the passage completely unbelievable.

Why didn't she have the same reaction after she was awoken from her sleep the second time around, for example? Writing fantasy is not an excuse to write unbelievable situations.

Silver King
06-12-2008, 04:56 AM
This discussion has interesting elements of description that may lend itself better to the Roundtable forum, so we'll move it there now.

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 05:03 AM
I think the discussion of writing about things you haven't experienced is an interesting one. It certainly pays to do your research.

C.bronco
06-12-2008, 05:06 AM
I don't have any symptoms, yet I get blamed as if I planned the "time out."

Thump
06-12-2008, 05:14 AM
Another problem is that, as far as I know, there aren't an awful lot of sources detailing the way it all feels. Probably the best thing is to interview people in your acquantaince but they have to be willing to talk about a subject that is pretty taboo. I know the women in the menstrual cup lj communities are VERY open about it. That could be a good source of info for anyone wanting to know more of the knitty-gritty of periods. Even if they're not going to write about it directly, it could be a good thing to have it color say the dialogue or attitude of a woman character who happens to be PMSing or having her period without coming out and saying it directly. For depth you know?

Also, a good way to have a char get frustrated easily when you need a bit of conflict :D Nothing like a guy telling his girl "you're being so pissy today, take an aspirin and shut up" to make a girl go homicidal :D

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 05:17 AM
Well, PMS does stand for Pass My Shotgun.

Yeah, I think talking to folks is the best way to get that sort of detailed information. Last year, I wrote a scene where my MC got her bellybutton pierced. I wasn't quite willing to take one for the team on that, so I asked a Q in the Experts and Interviews forum and got the responses that helped me write the scene believably.

Medievalist
06-12-2008, 05:20 AM
I'm going to offer one, small ray of hope for my gender. (Maybe.)

Nooo . . . for your sex.

Silver King
06-12-2008, 05:20 AM
I don't have any symptoms, yet I get blamed as if I planned the "time out."
Some couples (and I won't name the guilty parties) find their way around a "time out" without losing the intimacy in their relationship.

It's not for everyone, but I've heard (a little bird told me) that some women are highly receptive to romance during "their time." And their partners have no problems reciprocating.

ETA: Maybe this thread should've been ported to the Erotica forum. ;)

kuwisdelu
06-12-2008, 05:21 AM
Yeah, I think talking to folks is the best way to get that sort of detailed information. Last year, I wrote a scene where my MC got her bellybutton pierced. I wasn't quite willing to take one for the team on that, so I asked a Q in the Experts and Interviews forum and got the responses that helped me write the scene believably.

You should have gone for it! Most piercings don't really hurt much. And the great thing is they heal and no one would ever notice... ;) Anything for realism.

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 05:52 AM
You should have gone for it! Most piercings don't really hurt much. And the great thing is they heal and no one would ever notice... ;) Anything for realism.

I'm thinking that some things are just a "no" after 40. ;) I don't fear the pain, (Couldn't hurt worse than a C-Section with a local) but after a couple of kids, my midriff baring days are OVER! :D This is a good thing.

kuwisdelu
06-12-2008, 05:54 AM
I'm thinking that some things are just a "no" after 40. ;) I don't fear the pain, (Couldn't hurt worse than a C-Section with a local) but after a couple of kids, my midriff baring days are OVER! :D This is a good thing.

:ROFL:

Polenth
06-12-2008, 06:13 AM
It's gotten better since I started taking the pill but one thing that really bothers me is in Fantasy when female chars go on loooooong journeys, often on horseback. I mean, at some point, they're bound to menstruate, and on longer ones, several times. I can't imagine moving, let alone riding a horse while I'm cramping!

Most fantasy women aren't modern women with modern comforts. It might be appropriate if the character is a princess or someone from this world, but your average peasant or warrior is going to be used to working through the pain.

I probably view it differently because I've had to walk long distance all my life. Walking while in pain is not new to me. I'd take cramps anyday, because I know the exercise will relieve them once I get going (riding also seems to work, though not as well as walking). The worst travelling pain I've had is due to walking with an injury, not due to anything female-specific.

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 06:14 AM
Some couples (and I won't name the guilty parties) find their way around a "time out" without losing the intimacy in their relationship.

It's not for everyone, but I've heard (a little bird told me) that some women are highly receptive to romance during "their time." And their partners have no problems reciprocating.

ETA: Maybe this thread should've been ported to the Erotica forum. ;)It's fun, but it ain't pretty, as you might perhaps hypothetically know. Gotta take that shower immediately thereafter...

I can't wait for the EEEWWWWWWW rep comments to come pouring in on this one.

C.bronco
06-12-2008, 06:17 AM
oh dear. What did I start?

SPMiller
06-12-2008, 06:27 AM
oh dear. What did I start?A spilling, an outpouring, a flow... of what may become a torrent of TMI anecdotes.

blueobsidian
06-12-2008, 06:31 AM
It's fun, but it ain't pretty, as you might perhaps hypothetically know. Gotta take that shower immediately thereafter...


Or you could just move the entire event to the shower... save some clean-up time.

Plot Device
06-12-2008, 06:31 AM
More graphic descriptions ... clots--HUGE clots, about the size of a pea, sometimes larger. Dark rubbery stuff covered with dark blood.

The pain is terrible. The uterus is about the size of your fist--so imaging a fist inside your abdominal cavity, clenching so fiercely it's achieving a tightly knotted cramp. And the inner walls of your abdomen are all sympahetically suffering the cramp along with the fist. And second-hand pain radiates from it all down your legs to about mid-thigh.

Silver King
06-12-2008, 06:37 AM
It's fun, but it ain't pretty, as you might perhaps hypothetically know. Gotta take that shower immediately thereafter...

I can't wait for the EEEWWWWWWW rep comments to come pouring in on this one.
I haven't received any of those comments yet...

But if you love someone enough, in my experience, there isn't anything about that person that turns you off. Nothing. You accept and celebrate their cycles of life as part of your own experience.

Soccer Mom
06-12-2008, 06:46 AM
Oh my. I probably should have renamed this the TMI Run Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay thread.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 06:47 AM
Some couples (and I won't name the guilty parties) find their way around a "time out" without losing the intimacy in their relationship.

It's not for everyone, but I've heard (a little bird told me) that some women are highly receptive to romance during "their time." And their partners have no problems reciprocating.

ETA: Maybe this thread should've been ported to the Erotica forum. ;)
Uh, I've also heard, probably from the same or possibly a related little birdy, that some women, especially before the cycle, become nearly insatiable. A husband can hardly walk through the door without being jumped. Some husbands don't complain, even if they have to deal with mood swings, terrible cramps, and all the gore and pain of it, some see the good side of it.

Hapax Legomenon
06-12-2008, 06:54 AM
I have passed out from cramps.

Then again, I've passed out from a lot of other things that normal people don't pass out from. So maybe I'm not a reliable source.

Kalyke
06-12-2008, 06:58 AM
When I was in the army, I got menstrual cramps so bad while I was directing traffic that I fell down in the middle of the road. I used to get them bad. They brought me to the hospital and the useless army doctors said I had spinal meningitis. Yeah cramps feel like a giant fist pulling and squishing your area right at the bottom of your pelvis. Maybe being eviscerated, like someone was pulling your guts out of your private parts. And the blood is chunky. because its actually the lining of your uterus, not like a vein sprung a leak or anything.

OH-- I am a rare bird. I'm nearly 50 and have never been on birth control pills-- so no added estrogen here.

Chumplet
06-12-2008, 06:59 AM
When I was a teenager I experienced one winter without cramps. Did it have anything to do with living at sea level? I'll never know.

In my later years, I had my share of mind-numbing, Lamaze-breathing, toe-curling cramps, likely due to some random fibroids.

A friend said you might think you're losing pints of blood once a month, but it's likely only a couple of tablespoons. The mucous and stuff makes up the rest of the volume.

I haven't had a period in three... no, maybe four months. It's glorious! No, I'm not pregnant. At least, I'd better not be. The 'tropical moments' confirm that.

My son described how it felt getting kicked in the jewels. He said he got sick to his stomach.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 07:08 AM
My son described how it felt getting kicked in the jewels. He said he got sick to his stomach.
Hubby is tough, I've seen him go through a lot of pain, but I'll never forget the first time I saw his eyes water. He was helping a neighbor round up the calves to be weened and one kicked him in the nuts (a calf kicked him, not a neighbor). He stumbled over to a fence and then doubled over on the ground. He was VERY sick to his stomach and it took him a good long while to recover.

aliajohnson
06-12-2008, 07:19 AM
They are completely unlike intestinal cramps, even when mild, there's no way of confusing it.



Actually, for some women they can be a lot like intestinal cramps. If there's endometriosis involved, intestinal cramps are part of the deal, and possibly considerly more severe--masking the pain in the uterus.

Not saying the author had that in mind.:D Just wanted to give another viewpoint.

NicoleMD
06-12-2008, 07:35 AM
Also, I'm told in "Mirror Mirror" that Gregory Maguire describes the menstrual blood "gushing" and "bursting" and the room covered in it.

I've known women who "gush" tidal waves without warning. I don't know about getting the room covered in blood though, unless she was doing cartwheels or something...

Nicole

PattiTheWicked
06-12-2008, 07:45 AM
I don't get menstrual cramps at all, which is a source of much jealousy to my 16 year old, who gets them bad. I keep telling her if she'd take in more dark green veggies, she'd feel better during her period. I don't know if it's true or not, but someone told me once that loading up on dark greens the week before your period, and drinking lots of milk the week of, will keep the cramps away.

Of course, the week before my period, I eat everything that doesn't bite me first, so who knows?

Danger Jane
06-12-2008, 08:07 AM
I don't get menstrual cramps at all, which is a source of much jealousy to my 16 year old, who gets them bad. I keep telling her if she'd take in more dark green veggies, she'd feel better during her period. I don't know if it's true or not, but someone told me once that loading up on dark greens the week before your period, and drinking lots of milk the week of, will keep the cramps away.

Of course, the week before my period, I eat everything that doesn't bite me first, so who knows?

Iron helps the anemia and calcium helps the cramps...I think there's calcium in dark green veggies in addition to iron? Not sure. I'll definitely be trying every dietary adjustment under the sun in about two weeks. Got me bad last time. Real bad.

If I exercise well the first two days, I won't have any more cramps after that and my period will last four instead of seven days....but god how can you run a mile or two with a fricking BATTLE going on in your abdomen?!

TerzaRima
06-12-2008, 08:23 AM
Advil every 6 hours at the first sign of spotting, people. Don't wait for the pain to start before taking it. Get the analgesic love train going.

I'm thinking that any men wandering into this thread have either run out screaming, or have already turned into pillars of salt.

BenPanced
06-12-2008, 08:27 AM
Thump, if we told about U KNOW WHAT we would have to kill them and that would be tragic. It's better to let some things remain a mystery.
That it's actually a happy magic time filled with bunnies, rainbows, glitter, and unicorns, and dancing elves and pixies who weave flowers into your hair?

Well, it is according to that book we had to read for health class in junior high...

Inky
06-12-2008, 08:49 AM
My husband's motto:

Anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die must be highly regarded/respected.

Danger Jane
06-12-2008, 08:57 AM
Advil every 6 hours at the first sign of spotting, people. Don't wait for the pain to start before taking it. Get the analgesic love train going.

I'm thinking that any men wandering into this thread have either run out screaming, or have already turned into pillars of salt.

I've recently become immune to Advil, it seems. Also my cramps start the day before the bleeding. WOOO.

TPCSWR
06-12-2008, 09:36 AM
My husband's motto:

Anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die must be highly regarded/respected.

:roll:

StarCats
06-12-2008, 10:08 AM
hmmm... if it's been years since you've had cramps, yeah, you might forget what it felt like, so when it starts happening (usually a day or before the event), you might not make the connection until you have to change your clothes.

Even worse, with wacky hormones, I went from the possibility of two periods a month sometimes, to no periods at all for months and months at a time. Then menopause. Years later (like nearly 10), hello again nemisis. Back to the will it or won't it, and how often this time, only now it's off color, clumpy, and makes me itch. Still, the doc says I'm fine. I suppose when menopause comes around a second time, I'll still wonder if it's really over.

As for a description of what it feels like (for the guys who want to know). Think sinus infection. Your face hurts, your nasal passages hurt, and yellow-green ick keeps dripping out onto your lip, for nearly a week. Tylenol might only dull the ache. A decongestant might just make it drip faster. Either way, if you don't wash your face, any leftover slime dries right there, irritating you skin and glueing your mustache hairs together. But hey, that sinus infection is a natural body function, pain and all, why should you feel less than wonderful?

Sassee
06-12-2008, 10:15 AM
Fizz wins at female physiology.



I never know when they are going to be really bad. It's gotten better since I started taking the pill but one thing that really bothers me is in Fantasy when female chars go on loooooong journeys, often on horseback. I mean, at some point, they're bound to menstruate, and on longer ones, several times. I can't imagine moving, let alone riding a horse while I'm cramping! >.< One of the worst times in my life was when I went downtown with BFF and started cramping and had no place to lie down. It was torture!

Bad thing of it is, it gets better if you move around a bit, but the LAST thing you ever want to do is move around. Stupid cramps.


There is lumping going on here, I must ad, in more ways than one. I have never written a character having menstrual cramps largely because despite being a normal, cycling female I have never experienced any.

I hate you. That is all.


Well, PMS does stand for Pass My Shotgun.

New definition! YAY!


More graphic descriptions ... clots--HUGE clots, about the size of a pea, sometimes larger. Dark rubbery stuff covered with dark blood.

The pain is terrible. The uterus is about the size of your fist--so imaging a fist inside your abdominal cavity, clenching so fiercely it's achieving a tightly knotted cramp. And the inner walls of your abdomen are all sympahetically suffering the cramp along with the fist. And second-hand pain radiates from it all down your legs to about mid-thigh.

Mine feels like all of my lower back, hips, and upper thighs have been flexing themselves for hours, that sore feeling you get if you work your muscles too much (in this case, probably from a lack of blood flow... Fizz to confirm?).


When I was in the army, I got menstrual cramps so bad while I was directing traffic that I fell down in the middle of the road. I used to get them bad. They brought me to the hospital and the useless army doctors said I had spinal meningitis. Yeah cramps feel like a giant fist pulling and squishing your area right at the bottom of your pelvis. Maybe being eviscerated, like someone was pulling your guts out of your private parts. And the blood is chunky. because its actually the lining of your uterus, not like a vein sprung a leak or anything.

OH-- I am a rare bird. I'm nearly 50 and have never been on birth control pills-- so no added estrogen here.

Yeah... I puked once from the pain. Mine are always so bad it seriously makes me wonder what labor is going to feel like.


A friend said you might think you're losing pints of blood once a month, but it's likely only a couple of tablespoons. The mucous and stuff makes up the rest of the volume.

The red water in the toilet and completely full pads after 3-4 hours will have to make me disagree with you.


Actually, for some women they can be a lot like intestinal cramps. If there's endometriosis involved, intestinal cramps are part of the deal, and possibly considerly more severe--masking the pain in the uterus.

In addition to the lower back, hips, and mid thigh soreness, I get this too. It blows. It isn't uncommon for me to develop horrible gas and the runs right in the middle of my cycle. Not a pretty picture in the toilet, lemme tell you.


I've recently become immune to Advil, it seems. Also my cramps start the day before the bleeding. WOOO.

I get pre-cramps as far as a week in advance :(


If the guys haven't left by now they need to be applauded. If I were a guy I would have run the other way back on page 1. lol

Lyra Jean
06-12-2008, 11:28 AM
I throw up at least on the first day and nausea follows me into the second day. If I'm at work I basically ask if I can go home as I'm not functional at all. All I want to do is take my extra-strength Midol and sleep until the pain goes away. I pretty much can't move that first day due to the cramps and the bloating. After that I'm fine. Please tell me this is normal?

Well, you know don't lie if it's not. The symptoms haven't been so bad lately but I'll be 29 this year so I don't know if age has anything to do with it. I took three different sex ed classes and not a single one told me this crap would happen to me.

Zoombie
06-12-2008, 11:32 AM
Okay...if I ever need to write a menstruation scene, I will ask a girl a LOT of questions. In fact, I will ask Thump.

Now...I'm not sure whether my female character even menstruates cause she's a E.L.F and they may have improved the plumbing. But then again, she does snore...so maybe they didn't think to improve the plumbing. God, what horrible designers she had...

Ah, either way, this is a good cautionary tale about RESEARCH! DO YOUR DAMN RESEARCH!!!

Jersey Chick
06-12-2008, 04:24 PM
My husband even so much as looks at me all come-hither-like, and he better run like hell. I'll rip his head right off (I get a bit touchy right before and during) and no judge in the world will convict me.

And sex is just the laaaasssst thing on my mind. I want the heating pad. I want the Advil. And I want to take a nap. All of the above, alone. :D

L M Ashton
06-12-2008, 04:28 PM
Most fantasy women aren't modern women with modern comforts. It might be appropriate if the character is a princess or someone from this world, but your average peasant or warrior is going to be used to working through the pain.

For given values of pain, sure. But not everyone who has period pain has low enough levels of it that they can work through it, never mind being able to walk the ten feet to the bathroom unassisted.


When I was in the army, I got menstrual cramps so bad while I was directing traffic that I fell down in the middle of the road. I used to get them bad. They brought me to the hospital and the useless army doctors said I had spinal meningitis.
Yeah, THIS I can identify with.


Advil every 6 hours at the first sign of spotting, people. Don't wait for the pain to start before taking it. Get the analgesic love train going.

Pain killers don't work for me. Neither do local anaesthetics, for that matter. It's one of the features of my genetic collagen defect that also causes the hellish periods. Irony. That same genetic collagen defect also means that my bones pop out of joint even more during a period than elsewhere in the cycle. If you want to know more about the joint dislocation, check out the thread in the research forum called "Surviving the Rack" or some such thing. Just for some perspective.


Bad thing of it is, it gets better if you move around a bit, but the LAST thing you ever want to do is move around. Stupid cramps.

Mine feels like all of my lower back, hips, and upper thighs have been flexing themselves for hours, that sore feeling you get if you work your muscles too much (in this case, probably from a lack of blood flow... Fizz to confirm?).
Getting better if you move around is individual. It don't work for me, it never has. No amount of exercise before or during helps. No amount of dietary changes, herbs, painkillers, analgesics, whatever help. Nothing. It's all hell all the time.


Yeah... I puked once from the pain. Mine are always so bad it seriously makes me wonder what labor is going to feel like.

Only once? You're lucky. I'm lucky if I puke only once per period. Or it's limited to just one day. Six to ten hours of projectile vomiting is the norm for me.



The red water in the toilet and completely full pads after 3-4 hours will have to make me disagree with you.


Try going through a pad and a tampon once every hour at a minimum with the occasional hemhorraging through seconds after a tampon is inserted. Or leaving blood all over the floor in the rush to get to the bathroom only a few minutes after inserting a new tampon. But yeah, for some of us, the quantity of blood and fluids is far far far more than just a table spoon or two an hour even.

But I will add that I do hemhorrage thanks to my pesky genetic collagen defect, so it's not all necessarily actual period blood and fluids with me. And I've had periods last up to 35 (or was it 42?) days.



In addition to the lower back, hips, and mid thigh soreness, I get this too. It blows. It isn't uncommon for me to develop horrible gas and the runs right in the middle of my cycle. Not a pretty picture in the toilet, lemme tell you.

This is, from previous discussions I've had with many other women, not entirely uncommon at all. The diarrhea/gas with the periods bit.

As for my pain, it's full body pain from migraines with aura and incredible light sensitivity, back aches, dislocating joints (see above - estrogen and progesterone levels greatly affect women with my genetic collagen defect more so than other women, so we, as a group, tend to dislocate far more during our periods), and so on. Cramps are off the charts and compete with gallbladder attacks for pain intensity levels (I've had the gall bladder problems, too, so yeah, I can directly compare), except unlike gall bladder attacks, these go on for days non-stop and attack me every 14 to 17 days, and again in mid-cycle. Because I'm just that lucky.

And passing out during my periods was usually the only way I "slept" when I was a teenager. The pain was too severe to sleep otherwise. It's curl up in a ball - if curling up in a ball doesn't make it hurt worse - and whimper like you're being tortured, which, really, I was. Just with my own lousy body instead of the rack or other instruments of torture.

Maryn
06-12-2008, 04:36 PM
This discussion has interesting elements of description that may lend itself better to the Roundtable forum, so we'll move it there now.Maybe it's the personal nature of many of the posts here, but I can't help noticing that SilverKing's most recent avatar appears to be an ice penis--with a fin!--rising from the water. If you're not cramping now, you will be in a few moments.

Yeah, yeah, I suspect it's a fish, probably a tampon tarpon, but all I can tell you is what I saw. (Edit: See it for yourself here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/member.php?u=7082).)

FWIW, although I have never been interested in sexual pastimes during that special {<--sarcasm} time, when Mr. Maryn could jolly me into it, an orgasm helped pass clots and stopped cramps completely for a few hours. Of course, a few hours may not be enough recovery time for the typical husband, not to mention that his employer generally refused to accept menstrual cramps as a reason for him to stay home, so I had to schedule various towel boys from Ray's House of Love...

Maryn, hoping they don't bring white towels

kristie911
06-12-2008, 05:06 PM
OMG. I'm a woman and this thread is almost too much for me. I imagine most any guy wandering through here is going to learn way more than he ever wanted to. :D

Sassee
06-12-2008, 06:00 PM
LM -

It's strangely comforting to know there's someone out there that has worse periods than I do. Not that it makes you feel any better, but it was a little uplifting for me. Generally every other girl I know has mild periods and they just don't get it!


FWIW, although I have never been interested in sexual pastimes during that special {<--sarcasm} time, when Mr. Maryn could jolly me into it, an orgasm helped pass clots and stopped cramps completely for a few hours. Of course, a few hours may not be enough recovery time for the typical husband, not to mention that his employer generally refused to accept menstrual cramps as a reason for him to stay home, so I had to schedule various towel boys from Ray's House of Love...

I can confirm Maryn's experience, except that the stop is only the calm in the eye of the storm... once it restarts, it acts like it's the first day again.

BTW, does anyone else sometimes experience a mid-period stop and restart like that on a regular basis? Mine does it all the time. I have the first two-ish days of normal period, it nearly stops for a half or whole day, and then restarts itself for another 2-3 days.

This last one stopped after 3 days without restarting and I'm trying to figure out if that's significant (they're usually 5-6 days)... I worked out that day so maybe that's it, but I've worked out before and not had it stop on me like that. Ahh well. I'll have to see what the next one is like.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 06:08 PM
My husband's motto:

Anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die must be highly regarded/respected.
My ex boytoy used to have a slightly different take on it. He said, "You know women are evil. Anything that can bleed for seven days and doesn't die has to be evil."

illiterwrite
06-12-2008, 06:11 PM
I used to get horrible cramps (including vomiting) before I had two babies. Now I get none.

And a note: if you want to see just how much blood you lose, and what exactly is IN that blood, stop using tampons and get a Diva Cup. :)

Jenan Mac
06-12-2008, 06:23 PM
As a addendum, a special rep point to any female who can explain why when a man is kicked in the scrotum he feels a dull (and intense) achey pain in the lower back, up around the kidney region (in addition to the acute pain in the area of contact).

Because the forward's cleat is now embedded in his kidney? (Sorry, I asked a soccer player.)

L M Ashton
06-12-2008, 06:25 PM
LM -

It's strangely comforting to know there's someone out there that has worse periods than I do. Not that it makes you feel any better, but it was a little uplifting for me. Generally every other girl I know has mild periods and they just don't get it!
Yeah, I have that effect on people.

Jenan Mac
06-12-2008, 06:34 PM
I haven't received any of those comments yet...

But if you love someone enough, in my experience, there isn't anything about that person that turns you off. Nothing. You accept and celebrate their cycles of life as part of your own experience.

Mmm...Okay. I'm thinking I just don't love Mr. Mac enough, then. Because despite staying together through layoffs, interstate moves, and two sets of twins, there are some places I'm just not willing to go. (So to speak.)
EVER.
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Libbie
06-12-2008, 07:05 PM
They start the same but maybe they shouldn't mix. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll rant :D

I was rereading Feist and ran across a passage where Miranda, who has been a sorceress for a loooong time and looks young but is post-menopausal, has some magic go through her and feels odd. Later, she suddenly realizes she experienced menstrual cramps as the magic restored her fertility. I laughed at that. Honestly, if you're having menstrual cramps, YOU KNOW. Seriously gentlemen, there's nothing confusing about one's uterus being squeezed like an unripe orange for juice. Even when you haven't had them in a while. They are completely unlike intestinal cramps, even when mild, there's no way of confusing it.


Uh--yeah, I would definitely not describe the sensation of menstrual cramps as "feeling a little odd." Nope. Maybe "feeling like I'd really like to punch somebody else or even myself just to take my mind off the nonstop, evil ache deep within that persists for at least two days." Also, the backache. Good lord, the backache.


Also, I'm told in "Mirror Mirror" that Gregory Maguire describes the menstrual blood "gushing" and "bursting" and the room covered in it. Whoever is going through that, needs to call 911. Menstrual blood doesn't "burst" or "gush" or goddess forbid "explode".

My goodness! That's a serious problem right there.

I must say, though, I have found one man who CAN write menstruation convincingly. George R. R. Martin. The scene where Sansa "flowers" while being held by the Lannisters was right on. She dreams of being stabbed with a knife. She wakes and feels a sensation like a knife "twisting in her tummy," I believe was how it was worded, and a dull but distressing ache. She finds a little bit of blood on her thighs and on her sheets. I thought it was perfectly done. It reminded me of the first time I "fell off the roof," since I also dreamed of having some kind of damage done to my abdomen and woke to my little surprise, although I admit I was not being held against my will so the very second I got my period I could be married to a horrible boy who murdered my father before my eyes. There are some clear differences.

The whole issue of men and their menstrual hangups is pretty interesting to me. I was once in a critique group with three men. I was the only women. I gave them the first chapter of my manuscript to read. In the first chapter, it is briefly mentioned that the protagonist--a thirteen-year-old girl living in Egypt 4,000 years ago--has begun to menstruate, and is thus now a woman (according to her culture.)

They all reacted with disgust and what I might describe as fear. One of them went so far as to tell me that he would "throw the book across the room" if he had to read about a girl starting her period. Another told me that I'd already lost 50% of potential readers because "no man wants to read or even KNOW about something so disgusting." I pointed out to him that my own husband sure doesn't seem to have a problem with women's naturally biological processes, so I wasn't aware that "no man" wants to be cognizant of the fact that women menstruate. The third guy insisted that I couldn't represent my character as suddenly having the status of a woman because menarche means that she is becoming a woman, not that she is a woman. I tried to tell him that at that time in Egypt, menarche literally meant that you had full status as a woman and were expected to behave as one. He wouldn't budge and said that I was doing it all wrong, and that I'd even scare away female readers with that idea.

I left the critique group shortly thereafter.

Libbie
06-12-2008, 07:13 PM
For any woman writing a male orgasm, I'd suggest the same thing.

You know, just out of curiosity I asked my husband about this once. His only response was, "It feels cool. Really cool. Now let's get naked." Fail.



As a addendum, a special rep point to any female who can explain why when a man is kicked in the scrotum he feels a dull (and intense) achey pain in the lower back, up around the kidney region (in addition to the acute pain in the area of contact).

Oh! Oh! I know this one! I'm sure somebody else has already answered, but since a rep point is at stake I'll give you my best guess and you'll just have to believe me that as of the writing of this post, I have not read past your post.

It's because the ductus deferens are so close to the ureters, right? I made the very dumb decision of being in the room with my husband when he had his vasectomy. I wanted to be supportive. When he started looking like he was going to faint and described a horrible pulling way up in his back, the doctor said it was because of the ductus deferens' close association with the ureter. It was really creepy to see. I, in turn, began to look like I was going to faint and the nurse had to get me a stool to sit on.

I do not recommend watching a man have a vasectomy unless you have nerves of plutonium.

Libbie
06-12-2008, 07:19 PM
one thing that really bothers me is in Fantasy when female chars go on loooooong journeys, often on horseback. I mean, at some point, they're bound to menstruate, and on longer ones, several times. I can't imagine moving, let alone riding a horse while I'm cramping! >.<



Oh, that reminds me of another male author who handled this situation very well. Richard Adams dealt with menstruation on a journey like a real pro in Maia, which is an awesome but little-known book.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 07:27 PM
I made the very dumb decision of being in the room with my husband when he had his vasectomy. I wanted to be supportive. When he started looking like he was going to faint and described a horrible pulling way up in his back, the doctor said it was because of the ductus deferens' close association with the ureter. It was really creepy to see. I, in turn, began to look like I was going to faint and the nurse had to get me a stool to sit on.

I do not recommend watching a man have a vasectomy unless you have nerves of plutonium.
Ha, I was in the room when my Hubby had it done. I was sitting by his head, weaving and bobbing, trying to see the real action. The nurse asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just can't see anything from here."

"Oh, you want to watch it? Most wives are here just for moral support, but if you want to see, come stand next to me."

Look at Hubby and silently ask for his permission. He nods. I go stand by nurse and watch the whole operation. The doc does his thing and he cauterizes the vas deferens, and Hubby got a little worried when he saw smoke. I loved watching it.

I know it's not completely the same, but my dad's a veterinarian and I grew up watching him do surgery on animals, so I'm not squeamish, not at all. I'm more fascinated than squeamish.

Libbie
06-12-2008, 07:31 PM
I know it's not completely the same, but my dad's a veterinarian and I grew up watching him do surgery on animals, so I'm not squeamish, not at all. I'm more fascinated than squeamish.

You know, I'm normally not squeamish at all. It was just the look on my husband's face when he felt his insides start to dance. I guess I was just being too sympathetic, ha ha.

Yeah, the cauterization was pretty cool-looking.

StoryG27
06-12-2008, 07:36 PM
Yes Libbie, you were probably just being kind and well, I was just being me. It's only fair. While I was in labor with our second born, the nurses flirted shamelessly with him and would ask him what HE needed and if HE was comfortable and paid much more attention to him than me. Luckily, my labor lasted through shift change.

Tirjasdyn
06-12-2008, 07:49 PM
Uh, I've also heard, probably from the same or possibly a related little birdy, that some women, especially before the cycle, become nearly insatiable. A husband can hardly walk through the door without being jumped. Some husbands don't complain, even if they have to deal with mood swings, terrible cramps, and all the gore and pain of it, some see the good side of it.


Just for those erotic writers out there:

How wet we are is not related to how much we want you. Sorry...it just isn't.

Jersey Chick
06-12-2008, 07:54 PM
My husband's twist on the motto:

Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and lives.

Fortunately for me, he stands beyond arm's reach when he knows I feel like crap.

Tirjasdyn
06-12-2008, 07:56 PM
Ah, either way, this is a good cautionary tale about RESEARCH! DO YOUR DAMN RESEARCH!!!

Just some thoughts.

Not all women bleed for the same length of time or every 28 days. Before my daughter, I had no cramps but bled every 5 weekes for 7 days.

After the daughter I bleed every 5 weeks for 8 days straight (heavy flow) two days light and have awful cramps that nothing makes go away.

Different bcp does different things to women. I'm in the small percentage that it can kill. It took 6 years to figure that out with four types of BCP.

Tirjasdyn
06-12-2008, 08:02 PM
Try going through a pad and a tampon once every hour at a minimum with the occasional hemhorraging through seconds after a tampon is inserted. Or leaving blood all over the floor in the rush to get to the bathroom only a few minutes after inserting a new tampon. But yeah, for some of us, the quantity of blood and fluids is far far far more than just a table spoon or two an hour even.



This reminds me of a funny story. I ran out of tampons once and had to run to the store. I was in a tank top, and pj pants. I looked a mess and I could feel blood running down my leg.

So I'm standing in line at the counter clutching my pink box and this guy, well dressed and fairly handsome begins hitting on me.

Hitting on me. I try to be polite (the line was running slow). But he's pretty insistent finally I turn to him and say, "Look, you're cute but right now all I care about is the blood staining my pants. What part of P L A Y T E X can't you read?" He went to another line. I finally got through the counter and ran to the bathroom.

Tirjasdyn
06-12-2008, 08:09 PM
My husband's twist on the motto:

Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and lives.

Fortunately for me, he stands beyond arm's reach when he knows I feel like crap.

My boyfriend: Women are mutants that mutate on the fly. Of course he uses the mutant excuse to explain everything I do.

jennifer75
06-12-2008, 08:32 PM
This reminds me of a funny story. I ran out of tampons once and had to run to the store. I was in a tank top, and pj pants. I looked a mess and I could feel blood running down my leg.

So I'm standing in line at the counter clutching my pink box and this guy, well dressed and fairly handsome begins hitting on me.

Hitting on me. I try to be polite (the line was running slow). But he's pretty insistent finally I turn to him and say, "Look, you're cute but right now all I care about is the blood staining my pants. What part of P L A Y T E X can't you read?" He went to another line. I finally got through the counter and ran to the bathroom. Man you should have just opened the damn box and then paid. lol.

sassandgroove
06-12-2008, 08:42 PM
I have passed out from cramps.

Then again, I've passed out from a lot of other things that normal people don't pass out from. So maybe I'm not a reliable source.
I think I've posted this before, lost in the annals of AW, but I once had menstal cramps so intense that I threw up. Thankfully it isn't that bad every month.

Thank God for Yoga and Birth Control Pills.

Maryn
06-12-2008, 08:52 PM
I think I've posted this before, lost in the annals of AW, but I once had menstal cramps so intense that I threw up. Thankfully it isn't that bad every month.

Thank God for Yoga and Birth Control Pills.That's our daughter, right there. She was on birth control pills before she even started dating, and she's still sick to her stomach every month, just not as bad as when she's off them.

Me, I prefer fainting, ideally in a crowded place for maximum embarrassment. The computer lab was the all-time best. All those guys with no social skills and no idea what to do.

Maryn, hardly the swooning type

Libbie
06-12-2008, 09:06 PM
Just for those erotic writers out there:

How wet we are is not related to how much we want you. Sorry...it just isn't.

Yeah, seriously. I'm seconding that one. Sometimes it just randomly occurs, like while we're commuting or eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Libbie
06-12-2008, 09:09 PM
I think I've posted this before, lost in the annals of AW, but I once had menstal cramps so intense that I threw up. Thankfully it isn't that bad every month.

Thank God for Yoga and Birth Control Pills.

Oh, goodness. That was me every single month from age 11 until age 16, when I finally got on the Pill. Luckily the Pill works wonders for me in that regard. Plus, it apparently reduces your chances of developing ovarian cancer. Bonus.

HeronW
06-12-2008, 09:15 PM
Then there's having a nasty uterine meoma that can't be removed for health reasons, during the cycle causing bleeding and loss of enough linings for 10 ladies during that TIME to the extent of fainting 5 times then needing a fast trip to the hospital and 2 units of blood.

Scared the sh*t out of me when my partner's skin greyed out.

Hexacaprone stops the period and makes life livable for her once more.

icerose
06-12-2008, 10:35 PM
I get back cramps as well as stomach cramps. They are awful, it feels like someone is squeezing you to death while trying to cut you in half with a hot saw.

Which translated into back labor for all three kids, thank you epidural! It really saved me. Now I'm on depo provera which takes my periods away. YAY! Haven't had to bother with it for over a year now.

As for intimacy during, I was rather needy during that time, I needed the cuddling and the affection, we just took care of the messier part of intimacy at that time in the shower. Hubby's happy, I'm happy. I'm actually cattier now that I don't have my periods because I'm not in so much pain. When my husband comments "Must be your in cycle" I know I must be onery.

BenPanced
06-12-2008, 11:54 PM
Bobby, could you get the blinds, please? We've got a little movie today.

Disney's (in)famous The Story of Menstruation Girl Stuff (http://youtube.com/watch?v=4kWR-rIKRe4)!

Soccer Mom
06-13-2008, 12:00 AM
Benny! This was supposed to be the showing of Our Woodland Friends! Bad AV Geek!

Okay, folks. I'm thinking we've jumped the writing shark. I'm going to lock it now. If folks are upset by this, PM me and I'll unlock it and send it to TIO where we can continue comparing menstrual habits.