Ahhh crap

I hate owning up to mistakes. I made one the other day. Realized it. Just emailed my CEO to tell her what I did. I'm waiting to hear that I'm fired.


What a stupid time to quit smoking.

Unfortunately, I didn't even get to have any fun, do anything juicy or exciting to get fired (probably). I took on another employee's work load so she could go on vacation while her hubby was home on R&R (from deployment) and I have been really swamped. I was buried with work. I made a stupid mistake.

My stomach is in knots. I tried to put in a few suggestions of how we could go about fixing or hoping to fix the mistake in the email to my CEO, but mostly, I just plain said: I f*cked up, here's how, here's why, here's what we might be able to do to fix. Sorry.

Okay, I realize I'm pretty much talking to myself here, but I can't help it. I'm just very nervous. She always answers my emails right away. I should hear from her soon. I bet she's pissed. I doubt she'll fire me through the email itself though. She wouldn't. Would she? No, she wouldn't.

Mela said:

deep breath, storygirl, deep breath.
You might... try to ... phone her?

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*deep inhale, deep exhale* Thanks. My CEO is out of town for the week and asked that we contact her through email. Normally, I'd just walk into her office and tell her. I guess. I don't have a "normal" yet for when I screw up like this.

Angelinity said:

if your CEO ladyboss has any brains she'll keep ya. ain't easy to find good people -- people who will own up to a mistake. i'd keep ya for sure. if she don't, only means you can do muchmuch better.

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Ah, that makes me smile. Well, she is very intelligent, but I've seen five or six people get the boot since I started working there just over a year ago and we're not a big company.

Stew21 said:

I agree with Ang. The person who doesn't own the mistakes, or just sits back and waits for someone else to notice - the person who cowers from the accountability - are the ones who get in really deep water. People respect honesty - especially when honesty is uncomfortable. that you offered up possible solutions is a definite positive.
If your CEO is smart, I don't think you'll have to worry about your job.
It's hard to find people with that level of integrity.

You might have to take a couple of lumps over this, but I don't think it should result in a firing.

Hold tight. worry doesn't solve anything. Be proud of yourself for handling it the way you did.

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I know you're right. Worrying doesn't help at all. And it's not like I purposefully screwed it up, it was an accident and I admitted to it. I think I feel worse because it wasn't my file. It was a file for the lady I'm covering for.

Thanks all. I really am trying to stay calm. Ack, I just got an email from her! Be back soon. Gotta go read it.

Well, that email didn't help at all!

She basically said, she was busy and couldn't look into one of the suggestions I made, and that I should seek the advice of a co-worker who has been here for years. That co-worker isn't even at the office today. Hasn't been since CEO took off for the week.

Knowing my boss, if I can manage to fix all this, smooth it over, I'll be fine. But if I can't, I will think everything is fine, then one day walk in and find boxes on my desk and a request for the return of my key. The worse thing, it is going to be days before I know if one hopeful fix scenario I have in place pans out. Maybe she'll wait until then to decide whether or not she can overlook this stumbling block.

Mela said:

and now that I'm thinking about it - you accepted someone else's workload, which made your workload pile even bigger. Did you volunteer to do it or was it forced on you?

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CEO suggested I do it.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Obviously she had enough faith in you to think that you could do both jobs. You made a mistake, but you've owned up to it and now are going to do what you can to remedy the mistake.

I don't think they can ask much more of you than you've already given.

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Oh, I'm in the mortgage business. Here, they can ask for blood.

Angelinity said:

chill. CEO's don't want to get involved with the nitty gritty, all they want to hear is that everything is running smoothly and and there's more and bigger business coming in.

so, what was this fuckup exactly?

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My CEO is very hands on. She used to have my exact job. And the mess up, it's all about a damn rate on a stupid loan that I didn't prequalify myself and that I didn't quote, but I did the loan application. This poor client has been through three people in the company (co-worker, CEO, and me), obviously none of us communicated very well, and it ended with me. Final papers were signed with me. I messed it up and it may cost the company and the co-worker money, and of course, may eventually cost me my job.

You know what, I'm actually starting to feel better. There is nothing I can do about this for a few days. If I get fired, I get fired. Though I will feel badly for the co-worker if I can't fix this, but I am going to try. Getting fired wouldn't be the end of the world. I'd just take the summer off. Be with my kiddos.

Woo-hoo! Drinks sound awesome.

slcboston said:

Take a deep breath (and realize that you *can* breathe deep without smoking ), relax, and vent when you need to. Like you did today. That's what communities (and dare I say friends?) are for, after all.

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I can breath deep without smoking?!?! I think you're a damn liar!!!

*makes sure no one is looking, takes deep breath, coughs, air is fresh, no chemicals, not sure how to breath regular air. . .tries again, ahhh, not so bad*

(I'd offer you a job but a: it's very premature for that and b: I'm not sure what we'd *do* with someone in the mortgage industry around here... But lately I've had little to do besides surf, so hey, what more could you want? )

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Um, I'll take a job surfing. Don't know how to do it or where to begin in TN, but it sounds fun!