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View Full Version : Beta needed for PLAY BALL! - a 74k MG novel



MoonWriter
06-05-2008, 09:21 PM
I've just completed a major revision of Play Ball. With the help of my betas, it's now 17k words lighter, and a better read.

An agent has agreed to look at the revision. Before I send it off, I'd like another pair of eyes to give it a final check - just to make sure I didn't make more mistakes in the rewrite. When it comes to writing, commas are one of my 687 weaknesses.

Below is the synopsis I used in my query letter. Please pm me if interested.


PLAY BALL! is about a boy whose passion for baseball acts as a catalyst for achieving his potential after suffering his greatest loss. When nine-year-old Dusty Sanders is removed from his grandma’s custody and sent to live with his rich aunt in another state, he vows never to love again and retreats into a world of self-imposed silence, convinced that it’s the only way he can survive. He resists the love and attention of his aunt and uncle, but when his older cousin, a pitcher for his high school baseball team, takes an interest in Dusty, he’s confronted with a battle he can’t win.

As Dusty begins to heal, he befriends a neighbor and helps to transform the “spastic stick figure” into a competitive ball player, eventually forcing Dusty to make the most difficult decision of his life.

Kitty Pryde
06-06-2008, 01:51 AM
sounds fun to me. i just pmed ya!

b0ggl3d
06-11-2008, 11:31 PM
just fyi -- this has been the season of the computer-related plagues in my world. i managed to rescue my hd's contents (thank you, binary gods) and am now reading through the version you last sent me.

my computer is heartily sorry for the extended delay. if you'd rather skip me, I'd understand. if you're still willing to let my brain chew on the story, i'd love to see the revision.

::sigh::