Genre fun

Erotica: LRR walks into the woods naked. The BIG bad wolf follows her. Naked.

Epic Fantasy: LRR yields a sword and proclaims -- I must save the woodland creatures and all their kingdom from the evil lord BADWULF.

Urban Fantasy: LRR enters her Woodland condo complex, unaware the werewolf is awaiting in the dark.

Techno-thriller: LRR has 60 minutes to track down big bad wolf or else her basket of food will shoot laser and destroy the world.

Western: LLR jumps onto her horse and gallops as fast as she can into the woods with her pistol held high in the air, blasting away as the BBW runs for cover behind a huge oak tree.

Cookbook: The Big Bad Wolf is the author, everyone else is an ingredient.

Detective noir: The setting is 1943, the Wolf is a suave Tex Avery cartoon wolf in a tux,Little Red Riding Hood looks like Jessica Rabbit, Grandma is a gun moll and the Woodsman is a hit man.

Tink said:

Western: LLR jumps onto her horse and gallops as fast as she can into the woods with her pistol held high in the air, blasting away as the BBW runs for cover behind a huge oak tree.

Click to expand...

Why are the Big Beautiful Women running behind the oak tree. I thought this was a western, not erotica.

Richard

Erotica: Granny undresses and nudges LLR away from the BBW....

Misery - LRR's father made her walk 12 miles to her grandmother's house barefoot even though the big bad wolf chased her every time.

Superhero: Red-Hood, in her bright red cape, is struck down by a deadly missile fired by her arch-nemesis Bad-Wolf in a high octane chase above Forest City.

Inspirational:

BBW bites grand ma, who forgives him. Puzzeled he asks why. She explains. He repents. Woodsman bursts in shooting wolf. Wolf almost dies on operating table but is brough back by LRR's pure love. Hospital staff sings gospel.


Nature Study:

BBW is repatriated to Yellowstone with a dozen of his BBB's and given instructions on procreating and re-establishing his habitat by the woodsman.

LRR and Grannie are arrested for improperly disposing of garbage.

Celebrity picture book: 84 pages of unedited incoherent prose with a vague moral about saving the planet by being nice to wolves or something or other like that. But the pictures are neat to look at.

Historical: LRR, wearing a cape with authentic period detail, meets BBW, says 'oh, la sir' and taps her fan.

Cyberpunk: LRR's mission is to zap all wolves as they are Big and Bad, not to mention cybernetic killing machines. BBW discovers he will only live a few years, and tries to eat everyone. LRR feels sorry for him, but he dies anyway, after a very moving speech. THen LRR finds out she's a wolf too.

Children's: LRR is a little girl who likes to wear red clothes. Wolf is a fluffy animal. Look, he's so cute! They follow the little rainbow and live happily ever after. The. End. Yay!!!!

Poetry:
Little Red went down the path
On her way to granny's shack.
Wolf tracked behind her silently
Drooling, thinking of a snack.

He took a shortcut through the woods
And swallowed granny whole.
He got in bed and covered his head
As through the door LRR did stroll.

She wasn't fooled like he had hoped
(She recognized him by his teeth)
A hunter heard her cries for help
And drew his ax from its leather sheath.

Off went the head of the mean ol' wolf
Then the hunter split its belly
Out tumbled granny, and Red and she
And the hunter ate bread and jelly.

Imagist poetry

THIS IS JUST TO SAY

I have eaten
the grandmother
who was in
the cottage

and who you probably
considered
family

Forgive me
she was delicious
so medium rare
and so crunchy

Tarantino style: LRR walks through the woods with her crew of hired hoods ready to heist jewelry from grandma's house.

Flashback to the wolf, buying a stash from grandma the day before while going into a lengthy diatribe on foot fetishes and proper toe-sucking technique.

Flashforward to grandma's house, where LRR shows up to ostensibly save granny from the wolf rumored to lurk nearby, but then when heist goes down the wolf comes out the restroom with his own guns, granny pulls a shotgun out from under the bed and a Mexican standoff precedes an ultra-violent gun battle.

Space Opera: Princess LRR escapes the Imperial Army and is hiding out in Planet Patuin. She sends out a distress hologram to granny Queen Labamba back in the galactic capital Cotiroid. Meanwhile, General Darth Wolf searches the galaxy for her, stumbling across the hiding place of the ancient tribe of Woodland Knights, led by the heroic Forrest Lightsabre, who is already on a mission to find and rescue LRR.

Large Print:

Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandmother's house, with a basket of goodies. Along the way a big bad wolf spotted her. Dashing off to Granny's he gobbled her up and took her place . . .

US Tax code 2009:

Enter number of BBW on line 47a

Enter number of grannies on line 49b

After calculating the number of threads in LRR's cloak and dividing the result by .457 times the result of line 15 add the figure shown in section 8 of form 1139.

If the result is more than 13, go to line 68 a and divide the numerator by one half of the square root of pi and enter 72% of that into the space shown on line 187b.

If the result of line 13 ia less than more of that which can be divided by the number shown on line 53, then subtract one half of your monthly income and multiply that by the number of trees which fell in the forest without granny hearing them.

The result will be the amount that is disallowed by article 4 of the Woodland Code.

Add that to you gross income as entered on line 10.

Pay it to the Woodsman.

Young Adult:

LRR takes a basket of food to Grannie because she's anorexic and doesn't want her mother to know she's not eating. Happens upon BBW and begs him to kill her and put her out of her misery. BBW refuses, and LRR wails about how no one loves her. When LRR discovers dead grannie, she realises life is worth living after all. But she gets blamed for grannie's death and winds up in jail where she has to decide between what feels right, and what is right . . . (in the next five books, of course).

Reader's Digest:

Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after.

Harry Potter and the Red-Hooded Witch

Red Ridinhood, a new student at Hogwarts, has a scandalous affair with Remus Lupin but redeems herself by getting Hagrid a broom big enough to ride -- it turns out her grandmother is a custom broom maker.

Metaphysical (ish):

Using her knowledge of different vibrational levels of certain colors, the girl carefully selected her red, hooked cloak to wear for that evening's work. She moved deliberately through the woods, her trusty dagger tucked in one of her boots, seeking to draw out the Big Bad Wolf. His energy was fierce, you see, and she planned to take it all...

You guys so rock!

I am loving these.

Miltary scifi:Granny is missing but LRR's father won't send in the five million Imperial Guard he has waiting just out of scan range, so LRR takes on the stealth mission to locate her. With her cover blown, LRR blasts her way to granny's location, only to find that the locater beacon has been eaten by the BBW. When LRR is captured by BBW, the Spaceship Woodsman defies orders and deploys its troops. A million troops converge on LRR and BBW, but due to a technical hitch, all that is left is a large crater and a small green blob of mucus.

Martail Arts film. LRR and BBW spend the whole time in one huge fight scene, their only lines being 'heeya!'. Finally, after LRR had disposed of three thousand henchanimals, she kills the BBW with one humungous punch ( taught to her by her sensai on his deathbed).