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View Full Version : Chimp to be declared a person



Shadow_Ferret
05-30-2008, 04:04 PM
story here (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=d8otlsug0&show_article=1)

Isn't this how Planet of the Apes started?

dpaterso
05-30-2008, 04:16 PM
Isn't this how Planet of the Apes started?
If further down the line they grant chimps the right to bear arms, possibly yes.

-Derek

KTC
05-30-2008, 04:19 PM
I adore Cornelius.

SherryTex
05-30-2008, 04:19 PM
Edited out joke, decided it was in poor taste.

James81
05-30-2008, 04:32 PM
I know some people who should be declared chimps.

Gravity
05-30-2008, 06:19 PM
Next he'll be appearing on cereal boxes: Wheaties, the Breakfast of Chimps.

DeleyanLee
05-30-2008, 06:25 PM
And who's to say that all people are human? I can see where he shouldn't be declared a human being, but declaring him a person seems reasonable to me.

ResearchGuy
05-30-2008, 06:39 PM
Why not. Some think one was declared President (http://www.smirkingchimp.com).

--Ken

HeronW
05-30-2008, 09:29 PM
Considering animals act more 'humane' than humans, perhaps we should lose our status to bring us higher on the ethics scale...

JoNightshade
05-30-2008, 09:36 PM
No, no, NO!!! This is totally wrong.

Sigh.

By 2008, we were supposed to be dealing with the problem of whether ROBOTS should be granted rights as humans.

The future is totally backsliding.

rhymegirl
05-30-2008, 09:39 PM
Come on now. Brokenfingers has been trying his best.

Let's declare him a person.


ETA: See his avatar for clarification.

Writer???
05-30-2008, 09:41 PM
OK, I'll be the big meany and say that I agree with the animal rights group leader that says, "It's absurd."

I also question what the real motive is, because if he (the ape) can't receive anything, how does he get drawing supplies, rubber boots, and "...bricks or apples or potatoes." whatever the heck that means.

Is it about receiving money rather than supplies? That's even more absurd because a "caretaker" will be selected, obviously paid, and apparently be human, so really it will be a human making the decisions concerning this particular ape, and that makes me think this is just a "door opening" act for other law suits and rights further down the road.

Ape/Human caretaker making decisions for ape

What is going to be different?

I wonder where the ape would decide to live?
What kind of new boots would he like? Boots? really?

Ultimately this is not about ape's rights, it's about having more resources for humans to make decisions about concerning this ape.

C.bronco
05-30-2008, 09:58 PM
What will this do the the Social Security situation?

DWSTXS
05-30-2008, 10:00 PM
If he starts flinging poo (as they're known to do for sport), he might be declared a politician.

James81
05-30-2008, 10:01 PM
What will this do the the Social Security situation?

Maybe the phrase "A trained monkey could do my job" will turn into a threat rather than a joke now.

DWSTXS
05-30-2008, 10:04 PM
Maybe the phrase "A trained monkey could do my job" will turn into a threat rather than a joke now.

outsourcing will be 'chimpsourcing'

KTC
05-30-2008, 11:11 PM
Just don't give him a typewriter. That image still scares me.

maestrowork
05-30-2008, 11:13 PM
When will ferrets be declared humans?

KTC
05-30-2008, 11:15 PM
When will ferrets be declared humans?

When there are flying pigs in a frozen-over hell.

DeleyanLee
05-30-2008, 11:24 PM
When there are flying pigs in a frozen-over hell.

I used to live about 20 miles from Hell. It freezes over with some regularity every winter.

I don't think anyone there's thought about a pig catapult (pigapult?) yet, though.

maestrowork
05-30-2008, 11:25 PM
I used to live about 20 miles from Hell. It freezes over with some regularity every winter.


New Jersey wasn't that bad.

quickWit
05-31-2008, 12:04 AM
You know, when I quickly read the name of this thread I thought it was Child to be declared a person, to which I was going to object in the most strenuous terms. Then I realized it said Chimp.

Meh.

rhymegirl
05-31-2008, 12:15 AM
Well, you're a bunny rabbit, so we don't expect you to be able to read, quicky.

DWSTXS
06-01-2008, 01:02 AM
I used to live about 20 miles from Hell. It freezes over with some regularity every winter.

I don't think anyone there's thought about a pig catapult (pigapult?) yet, though.


pigapult? or, would it be a catapig?

ResearchGuy
06-03-2008, 08:39 PM
Maybe the phrase "A trained monkey could do my job" will turn into a threat rather than a joke now.
LOL! I once muttered to a colleague that a trained monkey could write the sort of report I was working on (a statistical compilation, tedious but unoriginal). He offered me a banana. Funny, funny man.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

--Ken

DeleyanLee
06-03-2008, 08:42 PM
New Jersey wasn't that bad.

Hell, Michigan. You can even find it on Mapquest. ;)

Several Hell-related movies have had their world primiers there, since they discovered it's the only place named Hell they could find. Well, with a movie theater. LOL!

DWSTXS
06-03-2008, 09:21 PM
LOL! I once muttered to a colleague that a trained monkey could write the sort of report I was working on (a statistical compilation, tedious but unoriginal). He offered me a banana. Funny, funny man.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

--Ken

LOL. You should have flung your feces at him. That'll teach him.

C.bronco
06-04-2008, 06:08 AM
It works every time.

DWSTXS
06-04-2008, 06:31 AM
Well, lets look on the bright side, at least he'll be paying taxes now. That'll teach him.

KTC
06-04-2008, 06:33 AM
I love how we get all high and mighty after such a short amount of standing erect time under our belts. In the grand scheme of things, we can only really start calling ourselves persons... and I mean just barely.

I'm for welcoming the chimp.

Susie
06-04-2008, 11:07 AM
If he's going to be treated as a person legally, he's got to have the right to vote! :)