The first sentence

Post it here and gather advice. I did and got a lot of help.

Maybe the first sentence doesn't really have to do any more than lead the reader into the second sentence.

Maybe the right one is just around the corner.

It took me three years.

I think the problem with first sentences has been known for hundreds of years. That's why nursery rhymes start 'Once upon a time'. They really avoided a problem didn't they?

The last sentence of the first paragraph is the nut graf.

This sounds like the beginning of a slippery slope here.

You change the first sentence but then notice that it doesn't lead into the second sentence as well anymore.

So you change the second sentence to match the first which no longer matches the third.

A domino effect ensues until you reach the last page of your novel.

Holy SHIT! You rewrote the whole book

I hate writing that first sentence, but try to take some of the pressure off by realizing it does not need to be the greatest sentence ever written, just good enough to get us to the second sentence.

Personally, I put more stock into the feel and punch of the first paragraph than I do into the first sentence. Granted, you want a decent first sentence, but don't feel you have to win the pulitzer with it.

Mel...

I must be odd. I love the first sentence. OK, it can be a bitch to get right but it always opens up a new story.

Mumut said:

I think the problem with first sentences has been known for hundreds of years. That's why nursery rhymes start 'Once upon a time'. They really avoided a problem didn't they?

Click to expand...

Here's a link to a really fun page full of first lines by Noir writer Richard Stark. He's got some real gems here. Or if they're not gems, they're at least shiny little things that catch my interest.

http://www.miskatonic.org/parker-first-lines.html

Oh, I love Parker! The one about rabbit-punching the dude with asthma is totally my fave.

I think that first sentences definitely are important. They need to very clearly do something. Establish setting (first sentence of Watership Down: "The primroses were over." This tells us we'll be in a setting in which primroses grow - England - and what time of year it is - late spring.) Or show some kind of action so that we're starting our stories with something engaging instead of a big fat chunk of exposition ("When the man with asthma came in from the fire escape, Parker rabbit-punched him and took away his gun." Wow! Lots of action there.) Or otherwise make the reader feel firmly grounded in the story.

I don't think that the very first sentence has to be mind-blowingly brilliant, but certainly the first few sentences must be. You only have a handful of sentences to catch an agent's or editor's attention before they throw your manuscript in the round file and send you a rejection letter.

Definitely post your first few sentences and get a broader spectrum of opinions than just one friend's.

Love2write: Remember what Uncle Jim says about ctitics. When they say there is something wrong with your work, but can't put their finger on it, they're probably right. When they point to something in your work and say 'Change that' they are probably wrong.

Here are few of my Parker faves:

"When the phone rang, Parker was in the garage, killing a man."

"When a fresh-faced guy in a Chevy offered him a lift, Parker told him to go to hell."

"Parker walked into his hotel room, and there was a guy in there going through his suitcase laid out on his bed."

"Parker jumped out of the Ford with a gun in one hand and the packet of explosive in the other."

"When the car stopped rolling, Parker kicked out the rest of the windshield and crawled through onto the wrinkled hood, Glock first."

"When he saw that the one called Harbin was wearing a wire, Parker said, 'Deal me out a hand,' and got to his feet."

If I used "The primroses were over" (Libbie, couple of posts back) as a first sentence, one AW critter would ask my why the roses were "prim" and condemn me for being judgmental. Another would say, "Over what? Are they lying across a body or something?" Yet another would say, "Too much description -- you should start with some action!"

I wouldn't get too worked up about one person's opinion. If your original sentence works, use it. One problem with writers is that some of them can no longer simply enjoy reading. They have to "study" every word and second guess not only themselves but everyone else to the point that no sentence is every good enough.

Dear ILove2Write,

Why are you paranoid? Do you really think we are going to steal your idea? No thanks, I have enough ideas of my own. In fact, they are burning up my brain.

To be very honest, I don't care about YOUR idea. I wish you the best in publishing your story. I really do. But, I'm not about to take your idea and run with it. I think everyone here feels the same way.

If you don't post your first sentence, then how can we help you? You say you have a problem with it, but how can we help you if you don't post it? Think about what I've said.

Sincerely,

ILS