Too much of THAT

dianeP · May 22, 2008

When I initially write out my story, I find a lot of "that" that I end up crossing off when I re-read.

She realized that she was going to fast.

She knew that he wanted her.

If she went to him, he would say that he had seen her before.

I think all these can read without the "that." Are they both right and is it just a question of style?

Kalyke · May 22, 2008

It is a question of style. That is used here as an expletive in a nominative clause. It is used for "pacing" and sound. Some like it, some don't.

Matera the Mad · May 22, 2008

There is another That thread somewhere, in grammar country I think.

I killed two thats this morning!

Chasing the Horizon · May 22, 2008

It is mostly a question of style. I think all three of the examples you posted are technically correct both ways (I'd personally leave the 'that' in the second example, and remove it from the other two).

I take a lot of 'that's out of my own work when I line edit too. For some reason I never seem to get much better about not typing them in the first place. I guess they're just too easy to delete, lol.

Mayntz · May 23, 2008

That is an easy word to remove, and can make your sentences cleaner and more streamlined. I'm a fan of dropping it whenever possible, though I do find myself continuing to put it in when I don't really need it. Ah, well, it makes you feel productive when editing...

Angela_785 · May 28, 2008

I find autocrit really useful for spotting the 'that' problem, and trying to guage how many are too much (along with other overused words). Do you know of it?

Here's the link:

http://www.autocrit.com/

slcboston · May 28, 2008

As an editor, I have to say ~~that~~ it's one of the first things ~~that~~ I look for to delete.

RJK · May 29, 2008

I ran my completed manuscript through the Manuscript Analyzer and found 'that' at the top of the frequent offender words. I cleaned it up, but still have quite a few that still belong there.

The second most frequent offender was 'were'. I must admit, I have not been able to find a way to re-write 'were' out of my sentences when writing in the past tense.

I have two questions:

What's wrong with the word 'were'?

Where can I find help on how to write without using the word?

Darklite · May 29, 2008

Those manuscript analysers are best treated with some caution. I ran one of my chapters through, then I ran several published works through, and what they all had in common was a surplus of common words like ‘that’ and ‘were’, so I wouldn’t worry too much. As long as you’ve taken out what you can and it’s strengthened your work, that’s all you can do.

Diana W. · May 29, 2008

When I first started writing my manuscript I found that I was the Wizard of "was"! I had no less than 8 wasses in my first page alone even 2 in one sentence!!
I eliminated 7 of them. It actually strengthened my writing having to come up with alternatives to "was"

The Scip · May 30, 2008

I am always on the look out for 'that.' If I am careful when writing the first draft, I am able to write without using it, but if i really get cooking it starts to pop up everywhere, it is always one of the first things that I look for.

MumblingSage · May 30, 2008

I try to avoid using them, but they do crop up every one in a while. Often I think I put them in during the rough draft phase for pacing. Sometimes I keep them for the same reason. Sometimes they do seem to make things clearer, but I guess that's a matter of opinion. If I ever need to cut words, 'that' is one of the first to go even before I start forming contractions.

dianeP · May 30, 2008

KTC said:
I'm a THAT destroyer. I feel your pain. I do a search and destroy in Word and I'm always astounded by how many thats I find. I hate the word and try only to use it when necessary. But when the internal editor is asleep, the word creeps in.

ETA: Oh... and welcome to AW, by the way. (-; Montreal is one of my favourite places in the world.

I'm happy to see I'm not the only one... and thanks.

dianeP · May 30, 2008

Angela_785 said:
I find autocrit really useful for spotting the 'that' problem, and trying to guage how many are too much (along with other overused words). Do you know of it?

Here's the link:

http://www.autocrit.com/

No, I'd never heard of it, but I think I could use it. When my sister read my first manuscript she said I used the word "towards" an awful lot. Everyone was going towards something or turning towards someone etc. When I re-read it, I found 4 on the same page and laughed. Funny how you don't notice those things as you write.

I'll give it a try. Thanks

Too much of THAT

dianeP

Kalyke

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

Mayntz

Angela_785

slcboston

Pasture-ized

RJK

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says:

Darklite

Diana W.

I'm evolving

The Scip

...walks this way.

MumblingSage

Inarticulate Herb

dianeP

dianeP