Loss of a pet. A family member for 11 years.

DWSTXS

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We have had 4 cats.
B. - short hair - completely black
LittleMan - a tuxedo cat - sweetest disposition of any cat ever.
Munchie - a gray tabby - he loves his 'big brother' Little Man -
they are pretty much inseparable
and, Millie - a calico kitty - she is a butterball - round and frisky

Munchie came along about six months after LittleMan. He LOVED LittleMan and they would sleep togerther every night, with their arms around each others necks, as if they were kissing.
We called them 'brothers'. THey were ALWAYS together.

LittleMan had a problem, all his life, with his digestive tract. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The past three years he was on medication, daily. Steroids.

Year before last, we got divorced. It was a 'friendly' divorce. No fighting, no arguing, no name-calling. We divorced and we decided to split the cats up, 2 each.
She kept B and LittleMan, and I kept Munchie and Millie.

We didn't want to split up the 'boys' but I didn't want B and she didn't want Millie.

We decided, that even though we're divorced, we are still best friends. We decided that we would treat the 'babies' as kids.
We would both share in any expenses that were incurred in medical treatment for them. We both have 'visitation' to see the kitties.

Back in Feb, LittleMan took a turn for the worse, and after two days of
agonizing, we took him to the vet and made the decision to let him go.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But, he was in pain, and we knew that it was best to let him go.

I cannot describe the pain involved in holding a kitty, one of your beloved 'babies' as my ex-wife always calls them, in your arms, and watching as the doctor injects the solution that will put them to sleep forever.

We did it, and we knew that LittleMan was in a better place. But, dear God, it was so hard to let go.

A week after having to let LittleMan go, I took Munchie into the same vet, to be tested, because he has been losing weight suddenly.
I seriously thought that he was not eating because he was sad about being separated from his brother when we got divorced. Either that, or because I moved to an apartment, and I know that cats sometimes get anxiety about being in a new, or different place.

we've been going to this one vet only for the entire lives of all of these cats. He is trusted and simply the best vet in Texas, in my opinion.

He weighed 11 pounds when we got divorced, and a year later, he weighed just a little less than 6 pounds. That was considered a serious, almost catastrophic weight loss.
The doctor took x-rays, and we could see some clouding in his lungs.
The vet said that it was either asthma, or lung cancer.

He said that he couldn't diagnose further without some serious invasive surgery, and he doubted that Munchie could live through it.
He gave Munchie about 30 days to live.

He gave him a shot of steroids, and said that I should bring him in every two weeks or so, if he lived, for another shot of steroids.

The steroids made his appetite better, and he held his own.

Two weeks ago I took him back in for another steroids shot, and we saw that he had lost another half-pound.

His face looked good through all this. He acted okay, and has never seemed to be in pain.
The only thing you could see is that he was very, very thin, and he seemed to breath heavily.

Last night, he seemed listless and tired, and this morning he refused to come out of his little bed to eat breakfast.

I came home at lunch today, to find him laying under the desk, his favorite place where the sunlight comes in through the window......and he was breathing VERY heavily, and his eyes looked a little cloudy.

I knew it was time and called my ex and told her, and she agreed that this was it.

We met at the vets office, and he came in and assured us that we were doing the right thing.
He was such a brave little boy, he never cried during all the time he was sick, he always looked at me with so much love.

I petted his head, rubbed his chin, told him I loved him, and my ex did the same, and we both assured him that he would be with his big brother up in heaven in just a few minutes.

The vet put the needle in, and pushed the plunger, and my dear sweet little Munchie boy just laid his head down in our arms and then was gone. It happened so fast.
The vet left the room and I cried unlike I've ever cried in my life.
Before I left the room, I took the green towel that had been in the carrier with him, and on the table underneath him during this, and I covered him up with it, all the way up to his chin. It looked like he was asleep. Then I said my final goodbye and walked out of the room.

The pain in losing him is almost too much to bear. What a sweet beautiful little boy, I wonder how sad he was over being split up from his brother.
I SO wish that he could have seen his brother one last time before we had to let him go.


So, I can't help it, I am crying now, thinking of how sweet he was, how much love he gave us, and remembering him. My sweet little Munchie.
The hurt is just so raw, so damning, so much.


If anyone wants to see my/our babies, our kitties, here is a link.

http://www.pbase.com/dwstxs/dogs_and_cats

If you have a pet, please go give them a hug, a pat on the head, and tell them you love them.
 
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soleary

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Much love to you, and a cyber hug in your time of deep sadness. I understand intimately how much animals give us. I will give my Lucy the Wonder dog an extra pat tonight, on behalf of your new angel.

Hang in there -- and love to you!
 

KTC

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Wow. You just made me tear. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. You did lose a family member. I have a dog at home and we love her like crazy mad. I'm sorry to hear you lost your beloved. I'm glad you were there in the end to offer the support he so surely gave to you in life. My thoughts will be with you...
 

alleycat

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Many of us here have been where you are now and know that it hurts like hell.

Sorry for your loss.
 

Ol' Fashioned Girl

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Oh, Doyle. I am SO sorry. I've visited your pages before... your Little Man looks just like my Domino.

They only hurt us when they have to go... but having our love and care while they're here is heaven to them. Sounds like your babies have had the best.

(((((Hugs. Many, many hugs.)))))
 

DeborahM

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OMG! I'm so sorry to hear about your baby! I'm sitting here crying myself. I share your feelings. :Hug2: It really hurts losing a pet that was always there for you with their unending love and loyalty.

I've got my Mr. Lucky, who will be 12 this year. I look at him and I see age in the little face I remember the first day I saw him.
 

Pat~

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Doyle, I'm so sad for your loss...those first pets are your 'babies.' Beautiful kitties; I loved the pictures.
 

DWSTXS

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The sense of loss and the sadness is almost pervasive. After my divorce, my brother moved to Iraq, then I went through a bankruptcy, then the loss of a pet (LittleMan) and now the loss of another pet (Munchie).

I just feel like I'm losing everything close to me in life.

Our pets are the most trusting, loving, beautiful souls, and they do nothing but bring joy into our lives.

Losing them seems like a harsh penalty sent down by God for wrongs I've committed.

Now I see a shoestring on the floor. This was one of Munchies 'toys'. He would drag that shoestring all over the house, and after playing with it a while, he would take it to his water dish and dip it into the water, and then chew the wet part of the string.

I know, intellectually, that these feelings of grief subside eventually, but I feel right now, that I have lost a big part of myself.

He was with us for 11 years.

We never had children.

The four cats, B, LittleMan, Munchie, and Millie, were our children. Now, we've lost both our boys.

Once again. Go and hug your babies tonight.
 

Mel

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I'm so sorry, Doyle. It's so very hard to let them go. They come into our life and give us so much love and trust, and we never want them to leave.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
 

TerzaRima

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I don't know what to say, except I'm very sorry, Doyle. I hope that you can take some comfort in knowing that you nurtured him so well in life and helped him die with dignity. It is just hard to let them go.
 

inkkognito

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I feel for you and will say a prayer for you, your ex, and your babies. A big hug from me and my kitty trio. My husband and I don't have kids (by choice), so the cats are our babies. We had a set of older cats that we had to have put to sleep several years ago, so I know how deep that pain goes. As much as you know you did the right thing, and that they had a good life, that never makes the loss easier. But I would never be without pets because the joy and love they bring is worth that inevitable price.
 

KTC

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I've hugged my baby, Doyle. You are not being punished. The universe loves you for welcoming its most generous and gentle creatures into your life.
 

Soccer Mom

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Doyle, I'm so sorry that you've lost Munchie too. Hugs for you. I'll think of you and Munchie when I give my cats some extra treats.
 

Angelinity

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I am so sorry for your loss Doyle, losing a little soul that was part of your life is terribly hard to bear.

We too have been losing dear ones for years now -- can seldom resist picking up a crying little kitty or pup and giving them a home and making them part of our family...

Last year was incredibly hard -- we lost two dogs, both about 10 years old... but losing one of the two has truly changed my life as well... It was a cruel and horrible 'accident' -- he had a fatal reaction to a pill I gave him and died in my arms 36 hours later...

Like you, I have questioned the will of the Gods, Nature and the way things are... and I will never find solace, never forgive myself...

You will always miss your dear friend, but I hope your pain will subside in time. Hugs to you.
 

Ken

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really sorry to hear of the loss, DWS.
You've got a good heart so I'm sure the little fella had a very happy life.
 

tallus83

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Losing a family member, human or non, is always terrible.

I'm sorry to hear of your losses.
 

juggles

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It is the worst pain losing a pet.
I lost two little Shi-tzus, they were my whole life.
After the last one died I literally couldn't speak for a week, my vocal chords had closed down with the shock. It's four years ago now and I am still crying as I type this. My love for them was greater than any love I have had before.
I still think of them daily, they are buried in the garden and I put flowers on their graves.
Animals give us so much and I can well understand your pain Doyle
 

awatkins

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I can't tell you how terribly, terribly sorry I am for your losses. Like many of us, I've been in the same place before and it's hideously difficult and unbelievably painful. Take care of yourself. {{{{{Doyle}}}}
 

juggles

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This is just unexplainable but absolutely true.
The Golden Shi-tzu we had, [He died 7 years ago] used to chase a white cat out of the garden every day. He could never catch up with it and the cat knew that.
When we buried the dog [Max] that night the cat came in and lay on the grave all night. A year later to the day, the cat was sitting on the grave but only stayed for a few minutes. It really quite freaked us out as it sort of proves there's some afterlife and that animals know. How could the cat know Max had died? We'd wrapped him in a towel and put him in plastic so there'd be no smell, we dug down about three feet, then a concrete slab was placed over him.
I have not seen the cat since so don't know what happened to it or whether it's owners moved from the district.
 

sheadakota

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Oh, Doyle, I am soo sorry for your loss- we had to say goodbye to our almost 14 year old dog, Bear, Last August- the pain is lessening, but I still miss him every single day- I understand the pain and the loss at having to say goodbye-
We go into these relationships knowing we are the ones who will have to say goodbye, but somehow we are never quite prepared when it happens. Littleman and Minchie are together again- believe that.

all my best- Annie
 
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DWSTXS

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I want to thank everyone who offered their kind words and sympathy over my recent loss.
I know that it probably sounds silly, and wimpy or whatever you want to call me for obsessing over this. I know that people all over the country lose pets every day, and here I am making my own federal case about my loss.

Forgive me.

Again, thank you everyone for the kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me.
I just lost him yesterday, and here it is Friday night and I'm sitting here in this coffeeshop. I thought I would get some writing done, but I am still hurting over the loss of my little Munchie boy. I am trying not to cry, but I just wanted to make one last post for Munchie.
I know there are probably those who think I'm being overly dramatic about all this, and I'm sorry, but I lost something sweet and dear to me, and I feel like I have very little left.
But I just needed to spill some of this out of my heart, I don't think I could stand not to.

This is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. It is for my Munchie to remind him that I'll always care.

For Munchie -

Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love