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MsK
05-23-2008, 01:22 AM
;)

Seaclusion
05-23-2008, 01:32 AM
Shouldn't you feel good about being 'hit on' by a guy much younger than you are. I mean isn't a very high compliment.

Richard

Maryn
05-23-2008, 01:36 AM
It's been around long enough. I had it when I was in my late 30 and through much of my 40s. And I missed it more than I'd have imagined when it stopped. It ticked me off that any of my self esteem rested on inappropriately young guys hitting on me.

So kids, hit on an old lady. She'll turn you down, but it'll totally make her day.

Maryn, geezer

paprikapink
05-23-2008, 01:41 AM
I heard something really interesting about this on NPR a few years ago. Older woman/younger man vs younger woman/older man trends tends to follow economic patterns. I can't remember the danged theory...and can't find anything not too academic about it by googling...but I remember thinking it was a very interesting report. Possibly because my husband and I fell smack into the bullseye of what they were saying (he's seven years younger than I am.)

Joycecwilliams
05-23-2008, 01:46 AM
I have had that happen to me. I think it is several things...

1. One guy I dated lost his mom when he was seven... I always thought it had something to do with that.

2. They want something and figure... an older woman is not going to be wanting marriage, kids and the pickett fence..

Just my thoughts...


What’s going on with this whole older woman/younger guy thing? Over the past couple of years, I’ve been bombarded with reeeallly young guys hitting on me and I’d say, it’s a safe bet, that many of the women here at AW have experienced the same.
Recently, I had one “befriend” me at the gym. He would find me each morning and we would run on the treadmill together, all the while, we’d be looking around the gym and I’d be pointing out younger girls I thought he should talk to. He passed on all of them for one reason or another.
Finally, he tells me that there is someone he is interested in but, he isn’t certain he should tell me who it is… I saw the twinkle in his eye… He waits a few days and then approaches me, “You know the woman I told you that I’m interested in… It’s you.”
Well, honestly, I knew that. He had been dropping obvious hints for a while, telling me how he was ready for a serious relationship, didn’t mind if the woman he married didn’t want to have more kids…
This guy is 23! I’m 43!
Another recent one … this guy followed me around a Walgreens and chased me to my car. He asked if he could take me out sometime and I told him he was too young. He asks, “How old do you think I am?” I guessed that he was 27. Wrong… He was 23! And, of course, he went on to tell me how mature he was for his age…
And, I know it’s not just some vibe I’m putting out because many of my girlfriends are experiencing the same thing.
I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on this. Is this a new trend? Or, is it just something that’s always been around, but I hadn’t noticed because I wasn’t an “older” woman before?
Ladies, would you go out with a guy that much younger? Have you?
Oh, for you men over 30, these younger guys are way more persistent and aggressive than you. Just thought you’d want to know that.
This should be fun…
*stirs the pot*

Mr. Fix
05-23-2008, 01:48 AM
I'd date an older woman if she was like Kim Cattrall.

http://www.geocities.com/kimcattrall5/pictures/062.jpg
;)

Maryn
05-23-2008, 01:55 AM
We're all like her, if you look at us right.

WriteKnight
05-23-2008, 01:58 AM
Uh, well this is a loaded subject. Has it always been around? Yeah. Has it been as high profile as it has been lately? No, it hasn't. I'm certain it is tied to a lot of sociological conditions - and it probably 'comes and goes'. (No pun intended)

What are they looking for?

A good time without strings. A 'mother figure'. Someone who has more money and indendance than they do. Someone more experienced to showt hem the 'ropes'. (Go with that one.)

The term "Urban Cougar" is new to me. At least it was three years ago when I first heard it. There's a SNL sketch built around it now, pretty funny.Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz did it one night.

In fact, I should say the phenomenom has reached the point of parody, and is due to reach the 'pitiful' stage where men are judged.

Enjoy the complimentary ego strokes while you can.

Kitrianna
05-23-2008, 02:05 AM
I've actually known quite a few guys who prefer older women...something about us being more fun because we've hit our sexual peek (men hit theirs in their 20's, women their 30's...do the math) and we have a tendency to be less inhibited and more adventurous. I have to admit...the things I found appealing when I met the hubs (I was 20 back then) aren't as much fun these days. Now potentially getting caught "playing" after dark in the park...that never gets old

rhymegirl
05-23-2008, 02:08 AM
I think you look younger than 43, so that may be part of it.

WriteKnight
05-23-2008, 02:13 AM
Well even the sex is 'uncommon ground'.

;)

sheadakota
05-23-2008, 02:13 AM
My husband is four years younger than me- he asked me to marry him on our third date. He told me age was never an issue, as long as I was legal he would have married me no matter how old I was. (actually he told me it was because I had a great a$$:e2moon:)

hlwriter
05-23-2008, 02:25 AM
I'd date an older woman if she was like Kim Cattrall.

http://www.geocities.com/kimcattrall5/pictures/062.jpg
;)




Oh so would I ;)

maestrowork
05-23-2008, 02:30 AM
I adore older women.

There, I've said it.

(those who are younger than I am, don't fret, I like you, too)

rhymegirl
05-23-2008, 02:31 AM
Isn't that nice. An equal opportunity dater.

Ol' Fashioned Girl
05-23-2008, 02:33 AM
It's been around long enough. I had it when I was in my late 30 and through much of my 40s. And I missed it more than I'd have imagined when it stopped. It ticked me off that any of my self esteem rested on inappropriately young guys hitting on me.

So kids, hit on an old lady. She'll turn you down, but it'll totally make her day.

Maryn, geezer

Amen, Sister Maryn. Amen!

As for Ol' Boy... heh. He's younger than I am by a whopping three months.

zahra
05-23-2008, 02:40 AM
I've only had one boyfriend older than me. I don't really notice it when he's only 5 or 6 yrs younger, possibly because I look younger than I am so no-one points and laughs...I'd have no problem going out with someone 20 years younger than me but as I'm not interested in dating right now it's handy to be able to use, 'Don't be silly, I'm old enough to be your great-grandmother' as a rejection.

I believe the phenomenon of a vast (say, 15 or more years) age difference is relatively modern, and might have something to do with economics, yes. But also women are looking better and generally not folding up into Grannydom at 40 nowadays.

I certainly know I do not fit the visual perception of 'well-salaried career-woman/sugar-mummy - and if they know me at all they know I haven't a bean - so I'm assuming they're asking me out for the same reasons they'd ask out a woman their own age.

SPMiller
05-23-2008, 02:41 AM
I think you look younger than 43, so that may be part of it.Isn't that a photo of a cougar off to the left of your post? Just sayin'.

Anyway, speaking as a young male, I don't see why I would date a woman that much older. There's so much difference in experience and worldview that I think she'd bore me and I'd bore her. The sex could be good, I guess, but why bother? I can find younger women for sex, and probably much more easily.

You know, that may be the issue. Maybe these guys aren't having much luck in their own age group.

WriteKnight
05-23-2008, 02:50 AM
"They don't tell, they don't swell, and they're greatfull as hell..." was the expression 'back in my day'.

Which was a long long time ago, on a planet far far away.

SPMiller
05-23-2008, 02:50 AM
Yes, that may be the problem Ashton Kutcher was having before he met Demi. :roll:And just what point are you trying to make? Do you really think these dudes are looking for mother figures?

Because that's rather weird.

Bubastes
05-23-2008, 02:52 AM
Older men have been dating younger women for ages with little hoopla. I find it refreshing that older women are now seen as desirable rather than washed up at 30+. Maybe the younger men sense that older women tend to be more secure about who they are and would be less needy than women their own age? Just a theory. Confidence at any age is attractive, and older women may tend to exude more confidence because, after a certain age (which I'm quickly approaching), they don't give a damn what other people think anymore.

rhymegirl
05-23-2008, 03:03 AM
Isn't that a photo of a cougar off to the left of your post? Just sayin'.

As a matter of fact, yes, it is.

JoNightshade
05-23-2008, 03:03 AM
I believe the phenomenon of a vast (say, 15 or more years) age difference is relatively modern, and might have something to do with economics, yes. But also women are looking better and generally not folding up into Grannydom at 40 nowadays.

Mm, nope, not quite. :) Historically, women died off a good deal faster than men, which is why you have so much precedent for old guys marrying young girls (over and over). But women who were long-lived also remarried when their husbands died - in the same way. My Medieval lit prof in college talked about this some, citing the Wife of Bath - whose last husband, whom she married for love, was 20 while she was 40. (Actually my prof, a middle-aged woman, rather facetiously pointed out that this is a great combination, sexually, as women reach their "peak" at 40, while men reach their sexual peak at 20! Not sure I believe that, but it was funny.)

Anyway another later example is Samuel Johnson, who in his youth married a woman twice his own age and adored her. :)

joyce
05-23-2008, 03:04 AM
I have a friend who is 63 and her man is 53. They've been together for over 25 yrs. now. I actually have some guy in his early twenties who is constantly asking me out on a date when he come into the store I work in. I just think he's sick minded myself. I figure where I work he can't be asking me out for the money he thinks I make.:D

Pat~
05-23-2008, 03:13 AM
*treading carefully here*...

I think that kind of thing maybe happens more frequently nowadays because women in their 40's and 50's today don't look as old as their moms did at those ages (is it the hairstyles or clothes?), and also are maybe more active than previous generations...(does that make sense or am I grasping?? lol...)

Kitrianna
05-23-2008, 04:04 AM
To hell with hints. I tell the twenty somethings "Why don't you wait around for 7 years, maybe I'll let you date my daughter when she turns 18.", but I'm sorry to admit that it usually doesn't deter them...go figure. Not like I'd ever let them date my daughter anyways :P.

Yeshanu
05-23-2008, 04:14 AM
*treading carefully here*...

I think that kind of thing maybe happens more frequently nowadays because women in their 40's and 50's today don't look as old as their moms did at those ages (is it the hairstyles or clothes?), and also are maybe more active than previous generations...(does that make sense or am I grasping?? lol...)




I think that's a big part of it. Plus the fact that many women in their early twenties are now more focused on starting careers than they are in getting married, and thus aren't as available for relationships.

But why is this a huge question? As was mentioned, older men have been marrying younger women for millenia. Why is it wrong for the age ratio to reverse itself? Why does it matter more that she's old enough to be his mother than it does that he's old enough to be her father?

Just asking...

Silver King
05-23-2008, 04:23 AM
Maybe some younger guys are tired of women in their own age group and want to venture into a stream where some females are more confident, understand what they want, won't throw a hissy fit if you're five minutes late, have been around the block enough times to appreciate a good thing when they have it, aren't overly concerned about appearances and bring wisdom and depth and meaning to conversations, those who have lived long enough to learn patience while settling comfortably into her own skin; and best of all, they will worship a man who is tender and giving between the sheets, one who cares more about their satisfaction than his own.

Or maybe all of those younger guys are just out looking for a quick piece of ass. What do I know? :)

rhymegirl
05-23-2008, 04:45 AM
Maybe some younger guys are tired of women in their own age group and want to venture into a stream where some females are more confident, understand what they want, won't throw a hissy fit if you're five minutes late, have been around the block enough times to appreciate a good thing when they have it, aren't overly concerned about appearances and bring wisdom and depth and meaning to conversations, those who have lived long enough to learn patience while settling comfortably into her own skin; and best of all, they will worship a man who is tender and giving between the sheets, one who cares more about their satisfaction than his own.

Very nicely put, SK.


Or maybe all of those younger guys are just out looking for a quick piece of ass. What do I know? :)

But, this is probably the real deal.

Carole
05-23-2008, 05:38 AM
Mr. Vagabond is 4 1/2 years younger than me. I have no earthly idea what he was thinking when he, at the tender age of 24, hooked up with me and my two kids! But I'm awfully glad he did!

Ken
05-23-2008, 05:47 AM
Ben Franklin said something really lewd about the appeal of older woman but I'll resist going there.

ps There was a woman I worked with who was 20 years her husband's junior.
She did a lot of griping and groaning, though she did seem to love her (art-director) husband.
Really nice lady. Miss her.

JoNightshade
05-23-2008, 05:49 AM
Does it count if my husband and I are the same age - but I act 10 years older than my age, and he acts 10 years younger? ;)

WriteKnight
05-23-2008, 05:50 AM
Being a screenwriter, I tend to think in terms of plotlines. Two movies come to mind regarding this dynamic.

"The Summer of '42" - An amazing story, great film, and it still holds up.

and most recently "Tadpole" with Sigorney Weaver. Interesting because it was shot on Mini-DV, and I believe is John Ritters last feature film appearance.

SPMiller
05-23-2008, 06:05 AM
Ben Franklin said something really lewd about the appeal of older woman but I'll resist going there.The Old Mistresses Apologue...

Good stuff ;)

ErylRavenwell
05-23-2008, 07:02 AM
I flirt with older women all the times but that's about it.

BenPanced
05-23-2008, 08:20 AM
I'd date an older woman if she was like Kim Cattrall.

http://www.geocities.com/kimcattrall5/pictures/062.jpg
;)
Airbrushed and Photoshopped to within an inch of her life?

JimmyB27
05-23-2008, 03:47 PM
It's been around long enough. I had it when I was in my late 30 and through much of my 40s. And I missed it more than I'd have imagined when it stopped. It ticked me off that any of my self esteem rested on inappropriately young guys hitting on me.

So kids, hit on an old lady. She'll turn you down, but it'll totally make her day.

Maryn, geezer
<Joey accent>Hey Maryn, how you doin'? ;)</Joey accent>

Staroffurby
05-23-2008, 04:24 PM
Don't we all have our own turn-on or call them fetishes if you wish. Just because somebody seems to like older women, or indeed some younger women seems to like an older guy, what really is the problem? Its legal and i don't see as any greater problem than some person saying i prefer brunettes. Love, passion or just plain lust, does age come into it?

I will also say sorry in advance, i have only been here a short while but i am a flirt. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/ashamed001.gif I am a good one too, world class. ;) so if i do flirt or have flirted with you in the past its harmless fun, but my telephone number is available and i am willing to travel for the right women. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing014.gif

NeuroFizz
05-23-2008, 04:35 PM
something about us being more fun because we've hit our sexual peek (men hit theirs in their 20's, women their 30's...do the math)

I've heard this before, but I'm in my fifties and I'm still finding the terrain to be uphill. I can't say as I've had a peek at my peak just yet. And for many older men, I suspect those little pills are creating all kinds of mountain ranges.

NeuroFizz
05-23-2008, 04:49 PM
Maybe some younger guys are tired of women in their own age group and want to venture into a stream where some females are more confident, understand what they want, won't throw a hissy fit if you're five minutes late, have been around the block enough times to appreciate a good thing when they have it, aren't overly concerned about appearances and bring wisdom and depth and meaning to conversations, those who have lived long enough to learn patience while settling comfortably into her own skin; and best of all, they will worship a man who is tender and giving between the sheets, one who cares more about their satisfaction than his own.

Or maybe all of those younger guys are just out looking for a quick piece of ass. What do I know?

One piece of data to address this:

I actually overheard this joke from a gym-tick (one of those guys who is so musclebound he does the arms-sticking-out waddle--looking like an over-sucked tick), it was years ago, and it was told in the gym locker room to hearty laughter and agreement from his fellow gym-ticks.

Q. How is a woman like a dog turd?
A. The older she is the easier it is to pick her up.

So, as to the two possibilities mentioned in the quote above, the last line seems to hold for at least one segment of the male population.

James81
05-23-2008, 04:51 PM
I had a 50 year old woman say these words to me last year: "Hey, if you want some ass, I can give you that."

I was like :D.

I have an older woman "fetish" of sorts, but not THAT old. I'm thinking it'd be hot to get with a 40 year old woman though.

jennontheisland
05-23-2008, 05:13 PM
Airbrushed and Photoshopped to within an inch of her life?

Within an inch of something.

My BIL used to go to the bar to pick up older women (him, mid 20s, them 35 or above). He called it cougar hunting. My husband called it easy meat. (And yes, I'm older than my husband).

cray
05-23-2008, 05:18 PM
younger guys are of the mindset that older women can teach them "things"

Mr Flibble
05-23-2008, 05:21 PM
I have an older woman "fetish" of sorts, but not THAT old. I'm thinking it'd be hot to get with a 40 year old woman though.

*lick*

I get hit on by younger guys and it always makes my day -- in fact one of my mates started off as a guy half my age hitting on me!( of course he soon stopped when he saw the size of my old man :)) He just likes older women -- girls his age bore him, and 'older women are more adventurous in bed' apparantly.

Jcomp
05-23-2008, 05:41 PM
I've dated older women before, but various situations precluded anything serious coming of it.

I can't speak for any other cats, but to me, looking good is looking good. If I find you attractive I'm not terribly concerned with your age.

Plus, after Unfaithful came out, we've all been hunting for our very own Diane Lane... sans the snowglobe wielding, murderous husband...

Shadow_Ferret
05-23-2008, 05:42 PM
I think the thing is for men, if the woman is hot, why would age matter?

(ducks)

OK, it's their wisdom and life experiences we're drawn to. ;)

Anyway, I've dated women on both sides of the age spectrum. I'm an equal opportunity ...um... dater.

Or was.


I'd date an older woman if she was like Kim Cattrall.

http://www.geocities.com/kimcattrall5/pictures/062.jpg
;)
I was going to say (by just looking at her) that she's a younger woman, but then I checked her age. She's a whole year older than me. Mrrrow!

Staroffurby
05-23-2008, 05:44 PM
Could this also have something to do with sexual peak? Men reach there sexual peak at 18-22, women reach it at 29-34. So all those teenage males out there go grab a MILF, learn about the birds and bees. :)

Sadly this means i am well past my sexual peak, but i do love proving people and statistics wrong ;)

Shadow_Ferret
05-23-2008, 06:26 PM
*treading carefully here*...

I think that kind of thing maybe happens more frequently nowadays because women in their 40's and 50's today don't look as old as their moms did at those ages (is it the hairstyles or clothes?), and also are maybe more active than previous generations...(does that make sense or am I grasping?? lol...)

I'd agree with this on both sides of the gender line. Better health care, better understanding of nutrition, better understanding of exercise and it's relationship to aging, better hairstyles, all contribute to everyone looking younger than they did 20 or 30 years ago.

Heck, if you pull out any high school year book from 40 or 50 years ago or more, those people looked OLD! When I was a kid, football players all looked like mature men, now they look like kids. (Of course that could be my own perspective as I age, too.)

I'll say that women in their 40s and 50s today do look hot compared to what women looked like back in the 1950s at that age. Even Playboy has occassional pictorials of "older" women now. They never did that during the 50s or 60s or even 70s.

WriteKnight
05-23-2008, 06:41 PM
Well I think there might be a 'sliding scale' at work here. Lifespans are much longer than they were a century ago. "Childhood" has been stretched out, and the concept of 'adolescence' as a phase of life is relatively new. (Really only came into existence in the fifties)

So yeah, I think the notion that 'forty is the new thirty' or whatever - has allowed a sort of extended 'youth' that was not available to our grandparents - for sure. But then marrying people off in their early teens in order to create a family/workforce for the farm is kind of outdated as well.

Bubastes
05-23-2008, 06:46 PM
What KrystalR said. The only reason I ever go to bars is to listen to the band.

James81
05-23-2008, 06:49 PM
And BTW, I am single by choice. I have taken good care of myself and I have no problem meeting men of all ages and backgrounds. IN fact, my current lifestyle of somewhat self induced seclusion is a reflection of that. I'm working on me now.


Thus making you even MORE attractive. lol

You're that hot older woman who's hard to get. That really gets a guy going.

DWSTXS
05-23-2008, 07:10 PM
Airbrushed and Photoshopped to within an inch of her life?

Yes. She is a skank

Mela
05-23-2008, 07:30 PM
Well, my chickadees, I've had them all (puffs cigarette, throws head back, crosses legs demurely, coughs, gets whiplash, falls over)

I've had them twenty years older, ten years younger and I'll tell you: Unless the younger ones are really incredibly insightful and educated, I can't imagine being with anyone younger than say, a decade - so let's say, my stepson's age, 26 (I'm 48) because he'd open his mouth and say something dumb about, say, the Kennedys and I'd want to clobber him.

BTW: Sunset Boulevard, one of my favorite movies.

DL Hegel
05-23-2008, 07:34 PM
I think it has been going on forever--i just think it is more in the public eye and acceptable-- It's been a while since I saw 21 --my husband and i went to an event and i had young guys following me around. I laughed with my husband about it:) I have been with my husband about 18yrs and been married almost 16. He is 5yrs older than me and he's my heart. I have no opinion about the age thing for others--life is too short--whatever makes you happy.