Is It Too Quick?

I'm slightly worried I might have introduced something to quick. The MC in my story has to get sick so in the next book she can go mad. (I'm just so kind to my characters, I know) These are the chapters in order of when I first introduce she has a fever -- which she's unaware of, but she is an alien so . . . ah too indepth to get into right now. Anyway,

Chapter 44 - The Doctor Visit.

Regular check up and when she gets her temperature taken it's 103.4. She's also prescribed anti-depressants in this chapter

Chapter 45 - At Hikaru's house

A month after the doctors visit. Comic relief chapter. Info about the Harvest Festival. No ill feelings from the MC.

Chapter 46 & 47 The Destruction of Prefect Parts 12 & 13.

Unrelated to the MC completely. She doesn't even appear in these chapters.

Chapter 48 Impatiently Waiting

A Chapter featuring the bad guy and his plans for the MC

Chapter 49 A Change in Plans

A chapter featuring the second evil villain who joins forced with the main evil villain against the MC.

Chapter 50 The Spirit World Problems Part 1

No MC in this chapter.

Chapter 51 [In Progress/Untitled]

MC asking father to go to the Harvest Festival then her temperature is taken again and reads 102.6.

Chapter 52 [Not Written]

Will most likely be the Harvest Festival. People arrive in costumes [Hello, Molly ] Comic Relief Chapter. Near the end the MC feels a bit sick and they go home.

Um, a kidnapping takes place somewhere in there I have everything planned out in my head rather than on paper. I kind of wing it. Then Spirit world Problems Part 2 has to fit into there somewhere. Then the MC nearly passes out at her friends house (unless I decide to change her location) and being worried they take her to the hospital just to make sure she's alright.

Do I make her get sick too quickly. Should I put a little more into some of the chapters like she has a headache or no appetite or something? Rather than she just has a slight fever but feels practically fine (but again with the alien-ness of her. It's a disease D=!!!!)

While I'm at it I'll ask another question. Is the Harvest Festival introduced to quickly? A month passed by so I didn't know how to introduce it any other way except with on of the characters coming in with her costume and saying how she's excited about it. Also the HF is the very next day Any suggestions on how to introduce it sooner?

Should I make the HF in another week? Alter the time line a bit? I'm home schooled so I don't know if schools put pumpkins and such out; decorate, yeah that's the word xD Besides I don't know how I'd put another school day in there. The one character goes shopping so she'd have to come home, not go to school with her bag of goodies >.<

Well, I just want to introduce her illness so you have an idea that she is sick. Basically so that when she does collapse/pass out you aren't like "WHAT??" but you've had a bit of info blurted out in a few chapters.

I know 50 chapters is long but I'm not sure how to make it shorter. Everything is important I know for sure that there are 15 chapters between one and two computer pages long. The average is about 5 computer pages long.

And why do you hype up the illness to such an extent when all she does is 'collapse'?

I'm not sure what you mean here.

It is hard to tell because there is a lot going in between the chapters and I'm afraid that you might lose the interest of the reader.

I hope not!! I'm trying to have it as interesting as possible. There is the MC and her life the villain and his plans for her, then a back story to how they are tied together. Then maybe a few miscellaneous chapters.

Well the illness is something she had as a child and thought she was cured from. By time the second book comes she's so delirious that she's practically gone mad. And her going mad (as of right now unless I somehow come up with a better idea) is essential the the second book as well as the third.

I was aiming for a little more of the unpredictable scale so that there isn't a solemn pattern. and the readers can be oh, cool we see Menchikov again or cool Zar. (At least that's what I hope they would think)

Should I add a little more like she has a headache, no appetite? As of right now her high temperature is just mentioned. It may be 'who cares' but when she collapses the readers would/could be like 'oh yeah, she had a fever didn't she?' Or is that not a good approach?