Southern girl 29-
I have a story for you. I wrote my first MS this past July and thought I had a masterpiece...a masterpiece that was written like manure – totally written like crap. Add to this, I made every mistake in the book. I didn't know how things worked. Like I actually sent her edits after I'd sent her the MS...and more than one time. Yeah, I was an idiot. It was no surprise when I got the rejection.See, based on my query, I got a request for the full, got a nice rejection... "unauthentic kid" was her approach. (I write middle grade). And she was being more than kind.
I spent six months honing my craft, and polishing up the MS, until I couldn't edit anymore. Anyway, to make a long story short, I approached her again in a very polite and well crafted query. Her response? Nice to hear from you. I'd love to take a look at the first fifty pages...
Cowabunga!
Note: I also included the first ten pages, even though it wasn't part of her submission policy, to prove that I'd made TITANIC improvements. You know, since she was familiar with the premise of the story and all. It definitely didn't hurt my case.
ANOTHER NOTE: When she requested the pages, I made no apologies for my past mistakes. DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE. Rephrase it. Well, I thanked her for her continued interest...
P.S: When I first submitted the MS was 80,000 words...cut it to 59,000. (Who needs adults in an MG novel? Right?)
P.P.S.: The synopsis portion of my query was completely re-written by me...and shred apart, put back together by AW'ers. (Thanks, Jim, ruler of query hell).
Now, this was just a few weeks ago and I'm still waiting for a response...but, it worked for me, so why not for you? So, Orion, sorry, I have to disagree with you. It is not a waste of time.
Go for it, southern girl. And if you'd like to see the letter I wrote..see below my sig line.
Samantha
Dear Ms. Agent:
Having spent six months on edits, re-writes, honing my craft, reading every popular MG novel out there, getting input from middle grade readers, attending conferences, and “finding my voice”, I am respectfully resubmitting my manuscript, formerly known as ANIMALA: THE TALE OF TWO TASK MASTERS.
And you'll soon find out that it isn't only the title that has changed...
A fantastical tale about two “normal” kids (nope, their parents aren’t Greek Gods, nor, wizards), SURVIVAL OF THE WEIRDEST (The DNA of Dylan O'Leary, Humanity, and Other Freaks of Nature) is finally complete at 59,000-words.
She isn’t taken seriously. She thinks normal is boring. And she, Dylan O’Leary, spends most of her time with her head in the clouds. But all that changes when a red bird smacks her on the forehead and demands that she jump into Lake Michigan during a very unexpected earthquake. When Dylan emerges, she’s more than shocked to find herself on the strange islands of Alchera, where animals live and behave like humans…and where the strange hybrid creatures and dinosaurs are not figments of her imagination. Good thing her brainiac best friend, Jake Sharp, is along for the ride because life has just become wildly weird.
Seems that Dylan and Jake’s unique ability to communicate with animals has been switched on. Guess all it takes a good knock to the head. And it’s because of their newly found gifts that Alchera’s freakish fauna have summoned the pair from Chicago to thwart the plans of the notoriously evil B.E.G., a greedy group of criminals that will do anything to make a buck – including threatening the lives of every creature on our planet.
Talk about pressure! Now Dylan and Jake must quickly adapt to their bizarre surroundings, escape the claws of a hungry pterodactyl, evade the threats of nasty fishermen, and set off into the Indian Ocean on the task-of-all-tasks to save creature-kind from B.E.G. But can they survive their dangerous mission…and still make it home in time to start seventh grade?
I am still a creative director from the world of advertising who isn’t a stranger to criticism, promoting my work, or all the varying licensing opportunities that exist – all requirements for any aspiring novelist. SURVIVAL OF THE WEIRDEST, which has series potential, is my first novel, but not my last. I am currently working on a second concept tentatively titled MAVERICK MERCURY THE MAGNIFICENT: KING OF THE MUTANTS. Additionally, I have written three screenplays, all of which I will be submitting to varying competitions and I run my own blog. Yes, all this while still holding down that "pesky day job."
Because you are familiar with the story, I am taking the liberty of posting the first chapter below my signature line. I just can't help but to think that we would be a great fit. (And it was you who inspired me to change my voice). Like me, YOUR AGENCY thinks about the big picture and the commercial potential…and makes it happen. Finally, on a personal note, when I first queried you six months ago, I only submitted the MS to four others. You have the most dubious honor of being the only agent that I am re-querying.
Thank you once again for your time and consideration.
My sincerest regards,
contact info