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Maryn
05-16-2008, 01:44 AM
Ordinarily I like bumper stickers. They're often funny, or tell you a little about the person who owns the car, sometimes both.

But in running errands the last couple of days, I've seen so many that annoy me! What's up with bumper stickers that
are obscene. Hey, schools are teaching phonics, and first graders can sound that out, dimwit.
have words printed so small you can only read them in you're on foot, passing the car when it's parked.
are entire freakin' novels, four or five lines of text, each five to seven words. I'm supposed to read this going 50? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times is not bumper sticker reading.
exist only to insult other drivers. If you don't like the way I drive, [fill in the blank with two or three words, bonus points for bathroom functions].

Maryn, thinking about all the minor body damage her car already has, and thinking Approach ramming speed far too often

CDarklock
05-16-2008, 01:50 AM
Don't those still tell you something about the people who drive the cars?

1. I don't care what you think is appropriate for your kids
2. I don't drive this car as much as it sits in my driveway... probably on blocks
3. I have a lot to say and don't care if anyone listens
4. I don't like anyone else who drives

Bartholomew
05-16-2008, 02:18 AM
I want a little bumper sticker that says, "VOTE LOCAL."

Silver King
05-16-2008, 02:26 AM
I want one that says, Get off your cell phone before you kill someone. You're driving worse than a drunk person!

Or something like that.

wyntermoon
05-16-2008, 02:29 AM
I want one that says, Get off your cell phone before you kill someone. You're driving worse than a drunk person!

Or something like that.

That gets my vote!

alleycat
05-16-2008, 02:29 AM
I want one that says, Get off your cell phone before you kill someone. You're driving worse than a drunk person!

Or something like that.
There is one that reads, "Hang up and drive!"

Siddow
05-16-2008, 02:30 AM
Sorry, I don't believe in bumper stickers.

CDarklock
05-16-2008, 02:35 AM
But if you don't believe in bumper stickers, your car goes to hell when it dies.

Silver King
05-16-2008, 02:37 AM
There is one that reads, "Hang up and drive!"
Oh, I like that one. It's much more succinct than my earlier suggestion.

SherryTex
05-16-2008, 02:38 AM
I love the bumper stickered cars that say Coexist and then excoriate religions and politics they disagree with, using rude language and wishing violent grief to befall those who fit the definition. I want a bumper sticker that says, Follow your own damn advice.

reigningcatsndogs
05-16-2008, 02:55 AM
They should also make one that says "Thank you, I already have a proctologist."

Soccer Mom
05-16-2008, 05:34 AM
My favorite one ever:

"Visualize Whirled Peas"

I almost drove off the road laughing.

I'm tired of the stupid peeing Calvin stickers.

Izunya
05-16-2008, 08:13 AM
My favorite bumper sticker: a bright red sticker that reads, "If this sticker looks blue, you're going WAY TOO FAST!!"

Yes. I am a nerd.

Izunya

Spell-it-out
05-16-2008, 08:18 AM
or,

'stop reading and look at the road'

Blondchen
05-16-2008, 08:20 AM
I have plenty of time to read bumper stickers since the average speed here in LA is down to 25 mph. My fav?

"Somewhere in Texas there's a village missing an idiot."

Spell-it-out
05-16-2008, 08:24 AM
One that I seen in Ireland one day;

'If you took a shit, please put it back'

Took me awhile to get it, but once it hit home, I started roaring laughing.....bout a week later!

BenPanced
05-16-2008, 09:47 AM
Y'know what? If somebody can't distill their Life's Philosophy onto either a bumper sticker or a t-shirt? I ain't interested.

Pat~
05-16-2008, 10:11 AM
My personal 'favorite' to hate..."My child is an Honor Student at ~ School."

I read one once that answered that with something to the effect,
"My child is an ex-con and can beat up your honor student any day."

ErylRavenwell
05-16-2008, 10:21 AM
"If you're reading this, you're an idiot. See! you're still going."

HeronW
05-16-2008, 12:41 PM
I like the bumperstickers that look like bandaids. Sometimes those things are the only hope holding a car together.

I still like:
Save the whales, collect a whole set
I *heart* Uranus
End sax & violins on TV

alleycat
05-16-2008, 01:42 PM
"I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."

SPMiller
05-16-2008, 01:50 PM
I have never put a bumper sticker on any vehicle I drive and I never will.

Why?

Because my car is not an extension of me. It does not have any bearing on who I am. That way lies dragons, and is the reason people get road rage--they see the car as an extension of themselves and therefore take things too personally while driving. Vehicles are simply convenient forms of transportation from point A to point B.

Joycecwilliams
05-16-2008, 04:07 PM
My personal 'favorite' to hate..."My child is an Honor Student at ~ School."

I read one once that answered that with something to the effect,
"My child is an ex-con and can beat up your honor student any day."

I had a bumper sticker (but I did not put it on my car). It said "My dog is smarter than your honor student."

Joycecwilliams
05-16-2008, 04:13 PM
My favorite ones are:

Only YOU can prevent narcissism.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Warning horn broke, look for finger.

NeuroFizz
05-16-2008, 04:27 PM
I don't do bumper stickers either, but I like to read them. The best:

Honk if you're horny and/or love Jesus

I about covers it all.

For those around universities:

Honk if you passed PChem

(for Physical Chemistry--one of them tougher classes)

And if this one is on a nice car, I just might follow it around for a spell (I used it in the 100-word horror challenge in SYW):

In case of Rapture this car will be empty

C.bronco
05-16-2008, 04:35 PM
This is my only bumper sticker:
http://www.nflnut.com/store/media/bumperjr88.jpg

Maryn
05-16-2008, 04:41 PM
In Indiana, you occasionally see a bumper sticker that started its life reading PERDUE UNIVERSITY but was scissored to read UNDUE PERVERSITY. I enjoyed that one, at least the first time I saw it.

Maryn, who admired the cleverness

C.bronco
05-16-2008, 04:45 PM
I know someone who's father cut a sticker in half so that it just read "College" when his kids were in college.

lakotagirl
05-16-2008, 04:53 PM
My favorite:

I like both teams.
The Cubs and who ever is playing the White Sox

My brother's wife used to own a Taurus. He made a little sticker to put in front of the "Taurus". It was simply "Cli"

His wife drove that car for two weeks before someone pointed it out to her.

They now have a Hummer.

auntybug
05-16-2008, 05:14 PM
We inherited an old farm truck with:
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming & yelling like the passengers in his car."

JoeEkaitis
05-16-2008, 07:07 PM
I need to replace one of mine because the weather eroded it:


Hoping for world peace
is like wishing everyone would
use their turn signals.

dobiwon
05-16-2008, 07:45 PM
I don't put bumper stickers on either, but I like to read the ones on the vehicles stopped in front of me at traffic lights (I never try to read them when the traffic is moving :rolleyes: ).

My favorites are:

Heisenberg may have slept here.

Wouldn't it be nice if the government would fund more education projects, and the defense department would have to hold a bake sale to buy new bombers.

Gravity -- it's not just a good idea -- it's the law!

Jcomp
05-16-2008, 07:48 PM
If I ever had the inclination to put a bumper sticker on my car, I'd realize that I must not think my car looks good enough & I'd then be inclined to buy a new one...

writin52
05-16-2008, 07:48 PM
a fave of mine: Normal People Scare Me.

tonyrocks922
05-16-2008, 07:50 PM
Do people still have bumper stickers? I rarely see them here in NYC. They're usually only on cares >15 years old

benbradley
05-17-2008, 06:57 AM
I've got a photo somewhere of a former roommate/landlord's Astrovan that had about ten stickers on the back, clock full of stuff, much of it liberal politics. But then there was "Under Republicans it's Man Against Man. Under Democrats it's the other way around." I have to see if I can find and scan it.

Ordinarily I like bumper stickers. They're often funny, or tell you a little about the person who owns the car, sometimes both.

But in running errands the last couple of days, I've seen so many that annoy me! What's up with bumper stickers that
are obscene. Hey, schools are teaching phonics, and first graders can sound that out, dimwit.Whatever happened to the bumper sticker that said "Shit Happens?" I think it was mid 80's or so, it was everywhere. I heard about it, then I first saw it on a newish Cadillac. I thought, what an interesting way the owner of that car chooses to deface it...

Then there's one on an old beatup car, "My wife divorced me and ran off with my best friend. I sure do miss him."


My favorite one ever:

"Visualize Whirled Peas"

I almost drove off the road laughing.
Obviously a car driven by a supporter of the GreenPeas Movement.

I'm tired of the stupid peeing Calvin stickers.
In about half of the Calvin stickers around here, he's peeing on a "bowtie" or other symbol for "the other brand of truck" (Calvin is ALWAYS on a pickup truck) - the other half, he's kneeling in front of a cross. It's a strange juxtaposition of Calvins among the rednecks rural residents here in the Bible Belt.

"I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
Yeat another bumper sticker that confuses schizophrenia with MPD, or DID, or whatever it's called thesedays...

Do people still have bumper stickers? I rarely see them here in NYC. They're usually only on cares >15 years old
And vehicles that old rarely pass NY's emission testing, and end up in third-world countries or rural Georgia...

Cthulhu
05-17-2008, 07:14 AM
And vehicles that old rarely pass NY's emission testing, and end up in third-world countries or rural Georgia...
You've got a little bit of redundancy going on there...

The only bumper sticker I ever owned was when I was little, it was pinned to my wall:

"I'M A STAR WARS FAN, HONK IF YOU (picture of R2-D2)"

I loved it and would put it on my car now in a heartbeat if I ever found it again.

Jersey Chick
05-17-2008, 07:46 AM
My favorite one:

"Jesus saves. Passes to Gretsky. He shoots. SCORES!"

One guy in my neighborhood should get one that says I SUPPORT EVERYTHING - I've never seen so many bumperstickers on one frickin' car.

CDarklock
05-17-2008, 08:26 AM
My favorite has always been

"JESUS SAVES"

...with a smaller line under it that says:

"and takes half damage"

SherryTex
05-17-2008, 03:11 PM
My favorite is from my kids.

My kids went to Middle Earth and all I got was this stinking ring!

(There was an art exhibit of props and costumes from the Jackson series at the museum in Houston --they got to go when they visited their grandparents and brought this back to me).

Ol' Fashioned Girl
05-18-2008, 02:10 AM
I didn't have a bumper sticker, but I had one of those peel and sticks that you see all over the place in college towns... for Oklahoma, you see a lot of 'University of Oklahoma' or 'Oklahoma State University' or 'University of Central Oklahoma'.

Mine said 'STARFLEET ACADEMY'.

I tried to peel it off when I sold that car... didn't work.

KikiteNeko
01-01-2009, 08:11 AM
I'm a bit embarrassed to say I've almost gotten into car accidents trying to read bumper stickers with teeny tiny print that are novel length. It's torture when I'm in traffic and I really want to know what it says. Maybe that's what they're for... hm...

Monkey
01-01-2009, 09:03 AM
My favorite has always been

"JESUS SAVES"

...with a smaller line under it that says:

"and takes half damage"

Man, I love this one.

I'm such a geek. :D

Fingers
01-01-2009, 12:23 PM
I had a 1982 ford escort wagon with a bumper sticker that read: Welcome to Oregon. Now go home!


yer pal Brian

brad_b
01-01-2009, 02:05 PM
Make a Difference - it's for those who donate to a police charity that buys underprivileged children Christmas presents - it goes for a lot of things in life.