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View Full Version : Get the Google Ads to show really weird stuff



JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 12:58 PM
So, you know how the Google Ads you see above are context-related, right? They check out the text on each page and try to serve up ads that are related to the text.

I hereby challenge you to type stuff that will make the Google Ads show the weirdest combinations of ads possible.

I shall try first...

I was making homebrewed beer when I noticed that my kitten had diaper rash.

(P.S. Any of you people who do not have kittens with diaper rash and homebrewed beer know how long it takes Google to change the ads?)

MacAllister
04-08-2005, 01:02 PM
hmmm--I love beer, especially the homebrewed kind of beer. And my kitten--more of a cat really--is sitting on my lap pouncing my fingers as I type.

But she's never had diaper rash. So far the google ads are disappointingly normal, I'm afraid...

CACTUSWENDY
04-08-2005, 01:08 PM
and if I had a kitten with diaper rash I am sure I would need homebrewed beer because homebrewed beer gives you the lift needed to cope with the kitten and it's diaper rash.

I use the homebrewed beer to treat all my elephants that live in my house. Elephants get diaper rashes also. But in really large areas. Take my word for it...elephants with diaper rash are really bad news.:ROFL:

three seven
04-08-2005, 01:12 PM
Is the trick not in the post title?

MacAllister
04-08-2005, 01:15 PM
I'm getting a lovely ad for a bachlorette party, now...where the heck did THAT come from?

three seven
04-08-2005, 01:21 PM
Dry, itchy, red, sore skin. And ragdoll kittens.

CACTUSWENDY
04-08-2005, 01:27 PM
well...there was one for the care of kittens....and one about diaper rash....lmao:ROFL:

Rob-rite
04-08-2005, 01:28 PM
So, you know how the Google Ads you see above are context-related, right? They check out the text on each page and try to serve up ads that are related to the text.

I hereby challenge you to type stuff that will make the Google Ads show the weirdest combinations of ads possible.

I shall try first...

I was making homebrewed beer when I noticed that my kitten had diaper rash.

(P.S. Any of you people who do not have kittens with diaper rash and homebrewed beer know how long it takes Google to change the ads?)

Diaper rash? Kittens with diaper rash? Kittens with diaper rash tend to drink homebrewed beer. Or home-brewed beer causes diaper rash, especially in kittens. Kittens like home brewed beer. But the diaper rash is a side-affect.

Optimus
04-08-2005, 01:33 PM
I've always enjoyed using www.Gizoogle.com

Rob-rite
04-08-2005, 01:39 PM
Classic example. Check out this poem. Don't get me wrong, the poem's beautiful, quite sublime; but look at the ads...
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9934

CACTUSWENDY
04-08-2005, 01:41 PM
Oh my gosh...what a riot....:banana: Rob. That is so funny.........:banana:

mdin
04-08-2005, 01:43 PM
Classic example. Check out this poem. Don't get me wrong, the poem's beautiful, quite sublime; but look at the ads...
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9934

lol!

We managed to do this a couple weeks back with Angelina Jolie

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9538

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 01:43 PM
My God, EG, how short is my memory? (I can see deleted posts... ;) ) You're so right. There was another thread where people were playing this game like, 2 weeks ago. I feel so unoriginal and sheepish now. :gone:

Sheep? Sheep with diaper rashes?

(I see we accomplished the felines. Where are the diaper rash and beer ads? Kitten ads must be higher stakes on the pay scale.)

mdin
04-08-2005, 01:44 PM
btw, all the ads on top for me right now are about ringworm and eczema.

Rob-rite
04-08-2005, 01:47 PM
One of mine says citrix portals. Eh? What are those when they're at home?

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 01:51 PM
:mad: Mine are back to the boring ads for writers! What does it take to get a good ad about time travel devices and tin foil beanies around here?

Optimus
04-08-2005, 01:53 PM
Jenna, I wrote you (and all the ladies) a new poem in the TIOB. If you critique it I'll give you 10 rep points.

Heh.

Rob-rite
04-08-2005, 01:53 PM
:mad: Mine are back to the boring ads for writers! What does it take to get a good ad about time travel devices and tin foil beanies around here?

Maybe a citrix portal is some kind of time-travelling device. (Sounds like one!)

mdin
04-08-2005, 01:54 PM
they seem to go back and forth. Still no ads about kittens or beer. Just skin stuff.

Patricia
04-08-2005, 01:54 PM
When you have a kitten with diaper rash, and drink homebrewed beer, you must becareful. You can end up with a whole lot of kittens with diaper rash that like homebrewed beer.

When you have kittens with a diaper rash that like homebrewed beer, you will have a whole lot of meowing.

When you have kittens with a diaper rash who like homebrewed beer, and do a lot of meowing, you will have a lot of angry neighbors.

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 01:57 PM
Ah! But I DID figure out why the "bachelorette party" ad shows... look at my signature...

firehorse
04-08-2005, 02:22 PM
The closest I'm getting is Red Dog software. The other three are all generic IT ads. But maybe as I post this, my poor diaper rash afflicted kitten will send alien brainwaves to the Google spiders (do they get diaper rash, too?) and send an interesting combination of ads.

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 02:38 PM
Wow, KTC. Valiant effort. I think my ads are just jammed up. They're still back to showing boring old writing ads.

Nivvie
04-08-2005, 03:26 PM
I've got lots of writing ads, which is probably Google's way of hinting that this thread needs professional help.


Purple monkey dishwasher!!

Rob-rite
04-08-2005, 05:37 PM
Hey that's strange, one of mine now says "Dishwashers for purple monkeys."

Mark Anderson
04-08-2005, 06:38 PM
Hmm. My SYW story (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10227 ) results in ads for dating muscular women, arm wrestling singles and athletic photos. Are they trying to tell me something?


Much better is Three Seven's adult work posted there, titled Amazingly Sick Adventures: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8445. All the ads are for teddy bears. Buying and making them. Ouch.

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 06:43 PM
:roll:Perfect. A story about a serial killer earns teddy bear ads, yet we can't get even one tin foil time warping purple monkey dishwasher ad over here!

bjewel77
04-08-2005, 07:01 PM
How about this one, did it make any change in the ads above? Sex, Bob, Viagra,
Sex, Lies, and Vidiotape...male enhancement...just like Bob. ;)

May not change the ads, but my emails may start filling up with offers about male enhancement treatments...hope not!

Bjewel77

bjewel77
04-08-2005, 07:06 PM
I bet you thought that vidiotape was a typo for videotape...NOT. It's a new, secret tape being test-marketed for using on bedposts. Haven't tried it yet!

Bjewel77

bjewel77
04-08-2005, 07:10 PM
I bet you thought that vidiotape was a typo for videotape...NOT.

Right after posting this, the ads were for writing, but one was in relation to my post. It said "Proofreaders Needed Immediately!" :D

bjewel77

Nivvie
04-08-2005, 08:00 PM
The dishwasher ads have arrived!!!!

*Dances a little jig*

Finally, now I can complete my mission to rid the world of dirty monkeys.

Nivvie
04-08-2005, 08:14 PM
Arrgghh! They've gone!

I'm going to have to save the ads when they pop up again just to prove it.

I want a dishwasher.
I need a dishwasher.
Please show me ads for dishwasher repair and servicing.

And monkeys.
I want to put monkeys into dishwashers.

Please help me Google.

MONKEYS!

DISHWASHERS!

JennaGlatzer
04-08-2005, 08:30 PM
Why do the good ads keep disappearing so fast? On the plus side, I got one for protecting your phone number in cyberspace that I've never seen before.

three seven
04-08-2005, 09:16 PM
In space.

three seven
04-08-2005, 09:16 PM
That didn't work either.

Nivvie
04-08-2005, 10:15 PM
Help me Google!


My monkey has piles!

Big, purple monkey haemorrhoids!

firehorse
04-08-2005, 10:23 PM
Okay, on Mark's SYW page, I got the ads he mentioned; on this thread and page, I got four ads for vBulletin software (are there that many kinds?); when I clicked the link to Three's story, however:

Toronto Dentists
Toronto's most complete list of Dentists by specialty

White Plush Unicorn**
Beautiful white plush fur Unicorn Full-size doll for your princess.

Warehouse 23**
Cute, yet wrong. Weird and wacky plush toys for kids of all ages.

Giant Teddy Bears
Low prices, great selection! Soft, plush and loveable.


"Cute, yet wrong" :ROFL: And unicorns? Three, I think this could take your story in a very disturbing direction (not that it isn't freaky already ;))

Dentists are sadistic, but... :Wha: maybe the whole tongue thing? Kind of Sweeney Todd meets Little Shop of Horrors.

Google knows where I live. :scared:

Something worked, though, because when I previewed the message, I had an ad for medical writers. I'm guessing the spider latched onto "eunuch" - so to speak.

**Does this remind anyone else of two CSI episodes: the furry-fetish convention and the one with the line (to Nick, about Grissom) "How lucky for you to have such a nice daddy!" :roll:

three seven
04-08-2005, 11:28 PM
Google knows where I live. :scared:
Yeah, and when I said I got ads for hotels in Thetford the other day everyone told me to change my medication! You evil f**kers!

Maryn
04-08-2005, 11:49 PM
Can't decide if I feel more like a Belgian waffle or German measles. I know I won't be having those Swedish fish with Chilean wine, though.

Maryn
04-08-2005, 11:50 PM
Shoot, nothing but writing-at-home-for-money ads. How dreary.

Fractured_Chaos
04-08-2005, 11:55 PM
I thought I'd steal Jenna's line her, and toss it in the title, to see what we get.

Fractured_Chaos
04-08-2005, 11:58 PM
Just writing ads. Suppose it's better than all the "get a job, you lazy bum" ads in the other thread.

OTOH, I looked at the ads where I posted my bit in SYW, and they're all for criminal background checks! :ROFL:

Fractured_Chaos
04-09-2005, 12:25 AM
LOL! KTC, the ads were for BulletinBoard software. :ROFL:

Nivvie
04-09-2005, 12:28 AM
Hey! Google have twigged about the first page!

Nappy rash has become eczema, complete with a picture of an afflicted child!

firehorse
04-09-2005, 01:59 AM
Well, not an ad for kids, but I've now gotten children's books, cork boards for kids - as opposed to the topic of another ad, a childrens' BBS (that acronym takes me back to 14.4 days)

Is Google calling us juvenile?

I see the eczema baby, too. Oh no. I see red people. (sorry)

three seven
04-10-2005, 08:49 PM
Hahaha. I know everyone's gone home now, but I just noticed what I've got on my thread... (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8445)

rhymegirl
04-10-2005, 09:08 PM
I don't see anything.

maestrowork
04-10-2005, 09:17 PM
How about some jock itch?

rhymegirl
04-10-2005, 09:43 PM
He must be attempting to get people who haven't read what he already has written to read it. A ploy.

Richard White
04-10-2005, 10:49 PM
Somehow this just isn't as much fun with Ad-block running on Firefox. I can't see the google adds at all.

three seven
04-10-2005, 11:14 PM
I don't see anything....http://www.geocities.com/thingumybobwotsit/3banners.jpg

firehorse
04-10-2005, 11:20 PM
I can't seem to copy the Google frame. Do you have screen capture software?

I'm getting an ad for ghost-hunters ;)

firehorse
04-10-2005, 11:24 PM
Hahaha. I know everyone's gone home now, but I just noticed what I've got on my thread... (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8445) :ROFL: The ads for braces to prevent teeth-grinding? (I got the Toronto dentists one again, so I'm not sure if I'm seeing what you're seeing).

Richard - I'm using Firefox with ad-block, but I still get these, because they're part of the site (I think).

three seven
04-10-2005, 11:25 PM
Handy screencap in one of my photoshop programs. I forgot this one too, which is slightly sinister I think...

http://www.geocities.com/thingumybobwotsit/teddybanner.JPG

three seven
04-10-2005, 11:25 PM
I'm not sure if I'm seeing what you're seeing.
No, we're clearly all seeing different ones.

three seven
04-10-2005, 11:26 PM
I'm getting an ad for ghost-huntersNot my ad, is it?

firehorse
04-11-2005, 12:06 AM
Not my ad, is it?Is that a sideline gig or a full-time business? :poke:

rhymegirl
04-11-2005, 12:13 AM
Okay, now I get what you're talking about. I did see the teddy bear ads.

Sarita
04-12-2005, 04:12 AM
ACK! Mine just had the Thetford hotel ads up there!

maestrowork
04-12-2005, 04:14 AM
Sara, the truth! Where are you now! Are you in Three's bed?

We demand the truth!!!

three seven
04-12-2005, 04:16 AM
I'm pretty sure she's not.

Sarita
04-12-2005, 04:17 AM
I'm really that quarter, going up this guys nose < ----------------------

Oh well, now you know! (Actually, I'm still at my office. GOD, I work too much)

Optimus
04-12-2005, 07:25 AM
Hmm...let me try....

When Freud was talking about the ANAL stage, he wasn't referring to SEX. In fact, the ANAL stage has little to do with HOT, STEAMY, DIRTY SEX or even WILD COEDS.

However, if one is developmentally stunted, one can regress to the ANAL stage when one is SINGLE and TEEN. If it's summer, that person and her friends might also be in the sun too long and then go see a Keanu Reeves movie, because they are HOT, SINGLE TEENS who LOVE ACTION.

Of course, there is nothing SEXUAL meant by this Freudian psycho SEXUAL stage.

sgtsdaughter
04-12-2005, 08:06 AM
So Superman met with Freud in a darkened ally. The two sat and chatted about this and that. Freud had a cat, Superman had a hat. The two merged and what did they get. . . a dirty little bat.

(Sadly disturbed, I know. And Optióno pun on you my dear.)